How long was it before you met?

Hello again :)

I just love reading these boards! Now I actually have a topic that may or may not have been addressed before here.

For those of you in LDR how long was it before you met ? How far did you live apart? I have known my guy for 6 months now and he is in TX and I am in NY. We had plans to meet in April but due to circumstances happening in his life we decided to postpone it. Although it is very disappointing I understand his reasoning. I would rather go see him when things job wise, living arrangements, etc are better and he is feeling better about his life in general as I think this would reflect on the overall visit.

My busy season is coming up at my job SO I am keeping my fingers crossed that we can meet over the summer if not definately in the fall. But now this is going on 9-10 months until the summer... but its ok with me. It seems like a long time but he is definately worth it :)

So how long did some of you actually stick it out? Has anyone here actually waited a year or longer? If so how were things at times when you hit this time stretch?

In my situation I find it effortless .. a very different thing. Being so busy in my job, life, being a single parent etc it helps a lot I guess. But I have been asked out by several men since my husband and I separated almost a year ago and I am not interested. I am like thanx but no thanx.

Mind you I am not a hermit ... I have my happy hour cronies and do lots of things socially (got my Metallica and OZZFEST tickets!) .. I just have no interest in anyone since my LDR or friendship (?) began with John.... LOL I'll figure out something to call it.

Thanx for reading my rambling ... I'll post more about how we met etc soon.

Ciao for now!


:p

i met my now SO online and we talked for 2 years. i was unhappy in my marriage, finally sorted it all out, and decided to go solo.
at that point is when he and i decided, hmm, gonna meet. we waited till my divorce was final, and it was another 7 months till we met.

it was instant connection at the airport, and we have now commited completely to each other.
the distance and circumstances has us in a postion that keeps the 4000 miles between us at the moment, but we travel back and forth to each other every 3 months till he can immigate next year to the states.

not ideal, but the final gift is worth the trials of a LDR.

good luck with yours...hang in there!!

I met my Remi online 13 months ago. We were friends only for the first 3 months. Then, at the end of May last year, he revealed to me that he was very interested in me. I ran like a scared rabbit. :rolleyes:

Then, in October was when I finally decided to give him a chance. So, technically, we only began our "virtual relationship" 5 months ago.

We are 5500 miles apart. I am meeting him in Bucharest on Monday, March 22nd at 2:45 p.m. Bucharest time. :D

Originally posted by whiterose

We are 5500 miles apart. I am meeting him in Bucharest on Monday, March 22nd at 2:45 p.m. Bucharest time. :D

You are so cute!!!


Birdlady, to answer your question..I met my BF online in January and met in person in mid June. So I guess about 6 months. We too live over 5000 miles apart (England and Texas) and we average seeing each other about every 3 to 5 months. It was easy at first but now, two years later, it is getting harder...the distance I mean. I envy NY to Texas!!! That sounds so easy! You can make it work. GOOD LUCK!!

I met my b/f online last April. We met in person about 7 months later irl. We live about 2000 miles apart. I am in Ohio and he is in BC, Canada.

My YM and I independently began to plot our meeting about 2 months after we met online, but didn't -actually- meet for another 3 - for a total of 5 months' differential.

We had been about 750 miles apart, but now we live happily together. :)

One of the reasons we waited as long as we did was that we wanted the weather to improve - it was the middle of winter when we first got in contact. Well...he first visited over Memorial Day weekend, we thought we would be home free on the weather. It was about to become JUNE, but it turned out to be one of the coldest, windiest, rainiest weekends ever...we were in jackets and gloves! Ah well...it all worked out. ;)

There was another, earlier YM LDR I was in which involved cross-Atlantic travel, and there were 2 years between online meeting and RL meeting, but we had only been romantically involved for about half that time.

To answer your question, Bird Lady, about how things were after a given period of time, I also have not found these LDRs to be that troublesome or burdensome. But, of course, ultimately I would expect a LDR to go local in order to last, although every relationship has its own timeline.

The whole phenomenon of these online LDR things is so interesting...best wishes to you, enjoy it!! And whiterose, have a great time!!

18 months and still haven't, due mostly to my divorce, and now may never :( It's only Texas/Mass , certainly not as bad as Texas/England, but I think sometimes you can wait too long. I haven't given up but sometimes it's hard to know when/if to cut your losses. Ugh, sorry for being so dreary. I always take comfort in the old saying, where there's a will , there's a way. :)

Wow it is a long time for you some of you and less time for others. I can see the distance being a HUGE factor also.

For now I am happy with the way things are and I am confident this shall remain so in the future with us. I am very positive even if it is a very long time till I meet John things will still be good.

My ex and I were together for almost 20 years, married for 15. We split for a year and a half from 97-99,reunited and then split again early last summer. SO being with someone for so long I am celebrating my soloness big time. I would rather be happy alone then miserable with someone. First and foremost I am alone and not lonely. I have allowed things to develop at a nice pace with John with a few weird moments here and there but it was no biggy. I have never been involved with anything like this before so I learn the rules (ir whatever it is you call them) as you go. John is 20 and I am 39.

I love the emotional fulfillment that I feel from this type of relationship and it is why I have no interest in dating someone locally. I like coming and going as I please and doing my thing in life so for now this is perfect for me. There are a lot of things that I need to iron out personally though before I do meet John and I am sure one day it will be all good where we both will feel it is the best time to meet. We made plans to meet in April but as I said in a previous post things set him back such as having to move back in with his dad, needing to buy a new truck, his band breaking up and other things that kept adding up. I really wanted to go and meet him but he was so unhappy with his personal situation we decided it was best that we would meet another time when things were better for him. It could have been a disaster maybe if I went and he was unhappy ... it certainly could have permeated into us meeting. We'll know when the time is right and where we both feel 100% good about it.

It is very inspiring seeing many of you having an LDR for so long and things working out so well when you do meet! I do keep things realistic but the feelings that have developed are so real....unless I go on and on and on its hard to explain but I think you all know what I mean :)

Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! for sharing your experiences with me .... it put a huge smile on my face when I read them. Unfortunately at a pre-school this morning my trusted sulcata tortoise I use in my demos decided to urinate all over my pants and right shoe so I was a stinky wet mess for a while which dampened my day ... LOL notice I dont say dampered! :) so it was nice to see all this.

Ciao for now .... Lesley

ironically, i would have to thank my stalker that i posted about last week...my SO was a moderator at a forum i went to, where the stalker found me actually...lol...he wrote the mod and told him a lot of crap about me, the stalker did, about how i supposedly was calling him every day and that i was actually the stalker. he had this guy totally convinced. the mod started attacking me pretty hard when i would post due to that...when the stalker started making threats to my life, my loved ones, etc. i left that board and changed my name online.at no point was i looking for an online relationship, i should probably tell you.
about six months later our paths crossed again...this time it was just two people rather than two people, a stalker and a lot of myths created by a stalker...he started talking to me one night in a chatroom where i hung out a lot with my online friends, who knew it was me with a new name, and i told him right off who i was, and sat back to wait for the yelling to commence. it didn't. what actually happened was that we talked all night long, like people...literally until it was time to go to work the next morning, we talked.that was almost three years ago. we have talked a lot since, and were friends for a long time from that point...we did not fall in love until the middle of 2003.it felt inevitable in so many ways...but we did not even talk on the phone until early last year....lol...he was so nervous at first he could barely talk...me, after all that time, i just chattered away...
needless to say, he and the stalker are not online pals anymore... haven't been since before we met, or this never would have happened.we're happy and content together...moreso than i ever could have imagined...i don't think a day goes by where i am not somehow overwhelmed with how happy i am and how much love i feel for this man...it just never stops feeling amazing for either of us...i feel very blessed.

BC

Hey Bird, what part of Texas is your dude from?

Originally posted by Joe
Hey Bird, what part of Texas is your dude from?


i was actually wondering that, too...mine is in el paso...:)


BC

Originally posted by Nessa
but who's counting????

You are so hilarious, Nessa. :p


And, thanks GoldieCat for your well-wishes regarding my trip.

Originally posted by Joe
Hey Bird, what part of Texas is your dude from?

Hey Joe!

He is in San Antonio.

Let's see, knew him on line for 3 or 4 years while I was married. I can thank my x husband for that, he got me playing the same on line game, where we met.

My marriage had been falling apart from the beginning... I told him I wanted a divorce in August, he moved out in December. I went to see P the following August. We are 2778 miles apart.

He came to see me in November and February. We had an April visit planned, but I'm going to be in a neck brace and I want to wait until I am fully functioning. ;)

So we probably knew eachother 3 or 4 years before we met, but maybe 8 months after wanting to pursue some kind of relstionship.

K

Wow everyone .. thanx for all the great responses ... based on the amount of time that passed before you met seems like I am still in the beginnng stages.

I dont mind though .. he is worth it :)

It was about a month or so, but ours was a little different. He was the brother of a friend and circumstances put us in the same place at the same time.

Jeff & I met at a AOL party. We had chatted a few times in chat room before that. I knew the minute I met him, he was the one for me. Now, almost 3 years married, & 5 years of being together, we've never been happier! I am 54...Jeff is 33. Connie