Fantastic Weekend BUT

Here is the scenario:

Jeremy and I spend another wonderful weekend together. We talk, we laugh, we make plans for the future, and are so in agreement about everything but then come time for the weekend to end, I LOOSE it and do everything I can to detach myself from him and our relationship. Luckily for me, Jeremy knows that I love him and that I do this after each visit and has the foresight and patience to understand my emotions.

I know that these are just my insecurities about us and the distance between us and only being able for now to see each other once a month. I trust him 110% but worry that sometimes that this distance between us will be what seperates us.

We do spend a lot of time in-between talking on the phone and e-mailing each other, but what I need to know is how do others handle the distance?

Well, I have over 5000 miles between us and I don't always handle it very well. The logistics I handle by making sure we see each other as often as we can. We average about every 3 to 4 months. We talk on the phone or yahoo voice everyday..most all day(when off work or home from school) We web cam and that really helps. We do things together like play games online...we love drawing together on yahoo doodle! LOL! It is silly but it is so cool to see him drawing right there in front of my eyes. We surf the net together reading the same articles, we watch movies together and we even leave the web cam on for instance, when he is cleaning his room or I am making my bed...just so we can pass by and see each other. We send love notes and e-cards. We send snail mail stuff too.
However, it is not easy and I live a roller coaster ride of emotions. I have tried to distance myself far too many times out of fear, frustration, hopelessness or just overall sadness. Thankfully, he is strong and keeps my hope alive. It is a day by day thing and be GRATEFUL for once a month!! (I am sure you are but I am envious!!)

Hang in there!
Best wishes,
Tru

I have tried to distance myself far too many times out of fear, frustration, hopelessness or just overall sadness.

Tru,

Thank you, I thought I was the only one that tried to distance myself emotionally. It helps to know that maybe trying to do this is not unusual.

When my honey and I first started out, we also saw each other monthly. I think you are doing the right thing for the times in between, which is staying in pretty much constant communication.

Even now that we live together, we like to stay in touch a lot. Having a communicative guy (who is naturally like that and not something I have to push for) is something I SO value. It's what had me feel secure and right about things during the months we lived 750 miles apart.

For me, the difference between this LDR and others I've had is that it was totally clear that this man wanted the connection and naturally maintained it. It sounds like you have that, so the insecurities and need to "lose it" may come from a source besides the distance that you might want to explore. All the best!

*H*
i do it too... makes the goodbye easier
don't understand my "reasoning" behind it, but i have always "taken a step back" when the goodbye is going to hurt like hell...

i'm finding, february being the third time the damn 4000 miles had to be addressed again, easier. rather then the "loss" i was able to shift easier to the future..his immigration.

We didn't handle it well all the time. Dave was fighting a major depression so many of our phone conversations were full of tears. But we agreed that we would not lose faith in each other. We would not get some silly idea that this was going to end. If we had doubts we would seek out the other and talk about them. Long distance hugs aren't as good as real ones but they do make you feel better.

We talked on the phone about every other night. We emailed every day and chatted almost every night. Net cams didn't exist yet, so we had to be satisfied with typing our messages. We spent 3 or 4 days together every other month and that helped a lot.

Every morning I got up a half an hour early and wrote to him. I talked about whatever was on my mind, us, the weather or a movie...whatever. He always woke to something pleasant and wrote me back before leaving for work.

He was going through a lot, but we made it through a year of being long distance. I swear if we did it anyone can.

Peace,
Jane

My bf left three weeks ago, and at the beginning it was unbearable. I am in management at a very large hospital and couldn't even concentrate for the first week. Felt like I was 44
going on 17!! Then woke up the following week and decided all at once that I need to pull myself out of it, for my own sanity. I realized that all the worry and pining were not helping me out
one bit!! I started planning outings with friends and actually started planning our next visit together (which helped quite a bit). Is your ym planning on relocating any time in the near future? Mine is tentatively coming in October, which helps. He currently lives 3800 miles away and we try to talk every other day. It also helps (almost more then anything)posting on this board, I truly feel that even if my ym and myself end up not lasting for the long term, the friendships I am beginning to establish on this board will last a lifetime :D I will keep you in my prayers (That helps too!!)

Joi:D

Is your ym planning on relocating any time in the near future?

Joi,

In response to your question, No Jeremy can not relocate here because if he does he will or stands the chance of losing custody of his four year old son. The move would be considered a change in circumstances and this could allow the mother to get full custody of the son.