opinions needed

I am 31 years old and really have never been interested in any woman my age or younger. My mother wants me to have kids, so do my male and woman friends. Of course, this can't really be done with an older woman (I like them 45+). I don't want kids and nobody can understand that. I don't think this is likely to change. Any thoughts?

My first thought was-"so what, Mom wants him to have kids, but it's not her choice to make".

Good luck-Mom's can be tough sometimes!

31 is pretty much old enough to feel the "kid tug" or not. Tell mom you don't and end of discussion. Tell her you want her to go adopt some because you want a little brother. :D She how she reacts to that! (OK OK..J/K)

Welcome sparky
Catchy name by the way
Hey, kids are a HUGE responsibility and if you're not in the frame of mind to take on that responsibility, you're in a heap of trouble!
You shouldnt have them just because your Mom or friends want you to. Its a very personal choice and some people just never have that parental urge. That doesnt mean there's anything wrong with them, they're just wired differently. Kinda like guys who like older women are wired differently:p . So just hang in there and stick to what YOU like - and if that means you're happy with an older woman and no children, then so be it. After all, its your life...

Southerngal

Sparky, if you don't want kids, for God's sake don't have any!! Even those of us who wanted kids, were ready to kill them before they got out of being teenagers!! :D

It is a BIG commitment and sacrifice to raise children and no one . . . hear that!! . . . NO ONE should have children who are not ready to make that commitment and sacrifice. I really don't understand people who try to talk others into having children when they don't want them.

I say kudos to you for having the self-awareness to know your own mind -- there are so many people who have children without stopping to think if they really want them or not, or who buckle under the pressure to become a parent.

As everyone else has said, if you don't want children -- don't have them!

I think a few of us around here can tell you that ultimately, regardless of what anyone says or tells you to do, you have to be yourself. You're the only one who can make important life decisions that will effect your life, and, you're the one who has to live with the outcome of the decisions you make. Choose to decide what's right for you and then do it.

ok just a thought, having kids and 45+ women are not mutually exclusive... Great if you don't want kids but a woman can have kids into her 50s do don't blame age.

Many ways to "have" kids if you change your mind later.

Question no one has asked. Why do you feel compelled to date someone over 45? I mean if a 38 year old came along that was "THE BOMB" would you say hit the road?

If you want some confirmation that you're not alone:

there's a busy, active usenet group called alt.support.childfree.

Read along for a few days and you'll feel very affirmed in honoring your own feelings.

Good for you for knowing what you do not want. If you do not want children... then you SHOULD NOT have them. Its completely unfair to a child to bring them into this world when they are not wanted and desired. Make this clear to your mother and end the discussions period!

It seems to me that you have 2 issues here. 1. you do not want children, but your mother wants you to have some. 2. you like older women.

They are not necessarily related UNLESS you are dating older women to AVOID having children. Bad choice in my opinion... as previously posted women can have children into their 50s. If you do not want children, date others that don't also and make that clear upfront when dating.

Why would your mother and your friends feel so comfortable to say they want you to have children when you said you don't want?

Maybe you haven't been clear enough, just tell them you would like to live your own life, they have theirs to live... :)

Originally posted by sparky
I am 31 years old and really have never been interested in any woman my age or younger. My mother wants me to have kids, so do my male and woman friends. Of course, this can't really be done with an older woman (I like them 45+). I don't want kids and nobody can understand that. I don't think this is likely to change. Any thoughts?

Seems everyone has covered things pretty well. You dont want kids you dont have them. Whats mom or your friends got to do with it anyway? I agree, if they like kids so much let them adopt some.
By the way, you may just find a 40 yr old you are crazy about , so for the record, get it straight with her about not wanting kids, and be sure she feels the same because SURPRISE SURPRISE there IS conception even AFTER forty:rolleyes:

Originally posted by peachy51
Sparky, if you don't want kids, for God's sake don't have any!! Even those of us who wanted kids, were ready to kill them before they got out of being teenagers!! :D




How true !!! There are days I swear I'll never make it thru my teen son's puberty !!!
And again what Peachy said, it's a huge committment , so if you don't want them don't.
Mom will whine, but she'll get over it. Buy her a puppy
:D