Very confused

:confused:
My first posting. It is so encouraging to read yours. I am in my fifties. My ym is 38. I was raised very traditionally.[ translation: with all kinds of hang ups] I am very happy and into my eigth month in this relationship, however, I am full of anguish, too! My most fearful enemy is named "Everybody". It seems that "Everybody" thinks that maybe if I had been younger I would have had a shot at this....Not now.... "You" are almost 60 and he is not forty yet.
Has any one out there been in a durable relationship of this kind? I fear the heartache. I am sorry I sound so negative. I need support from people who know this situations better that I do. Am I soooo wayout of line hoping that this can work at this stage of my life? Please answer! Happiness and blessings to all!:confused:

Oh pfffft on "everybody"! "Everybody" said that man would never walk on the moon, "everybody" said that computers would never take the place of a job a man could do (I hate that one :P) everybody said that women belong in the home...etc etc...

Well, "everybody" is wrong. Believe in your heart and grab for this opportunity with both hands.

Read here!!! There are lots of great stories!! SUCCESS STORIES!

WELCOME!!!!

Tru-45 Alex-22

exactly what tru said!!!!

chris 52
wilko 34

:) I am really happy to share common life situations with such a great group of people! You really made my day and lifted the cloud. I know that I have to work on it. My YM seems to be just fine, I am the only one with the problem. Although I will not be able to shake off all the insecurities at one sitting, you guys have set me on the right path. I feel that I a not the only one...oh... about "Everybody"....I won't be listening to that character no more! I have friends and support behind me!
Thank you for all your replies. Let's keep in touch ;)

LOL! I like your new title "Formerly Confused!"

Trust me...the hangs up remain...they go away for a while, sometimes a long while, then some old programming pops in our head telling us "I am too old for him" or some other baloney. Keep reading here...listen to your YM! They are wise and like my bf said to me when I was moaning once about my age (psss..don't do that...I shouldn't) he said "What if Sean Connery wanted to date you? Would you?" Can you say DUH!! Well, my bf replied .."Oh, so you can be attracted to Sean Connery but I can't be attracted to you on the same level?" (or some such smart reply) I kissed him and thanked him for keeping my mind from destroying a beautiful thing.

Keep reading and posting...it does help you feel more "normal" and it helps me feel like not giving up when I start on that downward spiral.

Btw..my aunt is 62 her husband is 48 and they have been married 20 something years! It was scandalous 20 years ago!! LOL! They are still happy and don't give a rip about the age diff..in fact, I hardly ever think about it and I bet most who know them don't either.

In my family, there have been lots of age gap marriages throughout the generations. The largest gap was my 16 year old grand-aunt and her 50 year old husband...they stayed married until he died at 80.

The second largest gap was a 50 year old great grand cousin who married a 30 year old man...that one lasted for the duration of her life.

My grandmother is a great supporter of OW/ YM relationships because amongst her 80-something friends, most of the husbands are dead now. Her group of friends tend to be of the concensus that its better to marry men at least ten years younger, for the longevity.

My partner just loves her philosophy!

Originally posted by Tru
Oh pfffft on "everybody"! "Everybody" said that man would never walk on the moon, "everybody" said that computers would never take the place of a job a man could do (I hate that one :P) everybody said that women belong in the home...etc etc...

Well, "everybody" is wrong. Believe in your heart and grab for this opportunity with both hands.

Read here!!! There are lots of great stories!! SUCCESS STORIES!

WELCOME!!!!

Tru-45 Alex-22

What Tru said!!!! hehe

Speaking of success stories, there are plenty here. One member has posted many wonderful things about his marriage to an OW over the years. The mods even posted a really nice sticky interviewing him, but not sure where it is now.

His name is Cowboytx and here is something for you to read.
http://www.agelesslove.com/boards/showthread.php?s=&postid=116487#post116487

I don't have much experience with age gap relationships, but stick around and you'll find what you are looking for here.
Good luck ........

Gypsy

that is so funny that you were told that, because i was told if i were 60 and adam 40 then i would know he had finishing sowing his oats.......hummm........ ya know, i actually thought about that and realize now that God works in marvelous ways and am so glad that you wrote and blew that theory out of the water, golly it is such an eye opener to be on the recieving end of predjudice and that is really and only what this is.......

by the way i am 44 and adam is 24....... and we are happy, i use this site alot to not feel so alone while he is away in the army but it is a safe haven but it never ceases to amaze me how cruel people are to eachother when they think something is out of the norm. predjudice in any form is ugly.

Well "formerly confused" , I have past the 60 mark and my y/m is 31. We were inseparable from day one, became best friends, and then moved on to the best and loving relationship I have ever had. We too went through some questioning, but it finally all just boiled down to the fact that he loved me and I loved him and was it worth holding onto or not. Well weve been together for two years now and I wouldnt change a thing. Age may come up when others see us or talk about us, but who cares?
I agree, "God does move in mysterious ways" and you know, in my case he gave me someone Id imagined all my life and never thought Id find. Someone honest and loyal, and fun to be with, conciderate, intelligent, a relationship where we can both be ourselves, share our deepest thoughts and secrets, and so much more. I could have lost all this if Id let "age" become the deciding point in our relationship............ so FORGET what EVERYONE says or thinks................. its what the two of you want that matters. :D

Originally posted by dareangel03
My most fearful enemy is named "Everybody". It seems that "Everybody" thinks that maybe if I had been younger I would have had a shot at this....Not now.... "You" are almost 60 and he is not forty yet.


Welcome to Ageless dareangel03~

Over the years I have become increasingly
aware that Everybody
can be annoyingly dim-witted
and extremely close minded.

Everybody is also
very jealous of other's good fortune too.

Everybody has a BIG mouth and
what they allow to spill out of their big mouths
is most times, trivial drool and dribble.

Carry on with your happiness and don't
give Everybody another thought or
the time of day!
:p


<FONT SIZE=5 COLOR=768A76 FACE="Lucida Handwriting">~Sage~ </FONT><img src="http://ChasingDownTheBlue.homestead.com/files/lilfairy.gif">

<FONT SIZE=2 COLOR=Black FACE="Tempus Sans ITC">I don't want no one to squeeze me-
they might take away my life
I just want someone to hold me
and rock me through the night
This youthful heart can love you
and give you what you need
But I'm too old to go chasing you around
Wasting my precious energy
Give me one reason to stay here-
and I'll turn right back around
</FONT><FONT SIZE=5 COLOR=Black FACE="Freestyle Script">Tracy Chapman</FONT>