How do you face prejudice

We had a case of extreme prejudice yesterday and some of us had to face it. I honestly had never seen so much hatred towards age gap relationships. We were called kiddie-******* (f word here, and it's worth mentioning it in the context of the subject), sickos, disgusting.

What would you do if you were face to face with prejudice and had the option to stay silent?

Wow, how sick! Who was it, or, if you can't say, which thread is it in? I know there was a guy on here a few months ago who called us fetishists!

It was in another site a few of us went to.

We really don't want to have anything to do with them, especially because some freak member of Ageless put a link to us there (but we have since deleted the thread that was linked to it because of the insinuation of kids). Someone who seems to have a special issue with me. :rolleyes:

Anyway, not worth our precious time. The question is, how do you face that kind of prejudice, Patricia?

I guess I never realized how many truly ignorant people there were in the world. At least we got our point across ;) Thanks for being such a warrior for
the cause!!

Joi

Thanks Joi. As I said, the insinuations were so heavy, I had to delete the thread because it was linked there. I thank all of you for defending us, too.

Nessa, I would fight for their cause too, no doubt about it.

Actually I don't see why other people's options should concern anyone else than themselves.

What bad can do that two adults fall in love and decide to share their lives? Nobody should have anything to do with it!

It scares me that some people find themselves in the right to impose the right kind of love to others. And I say this taking both sides into consideration. I don't ask them to choose my option, and don't want them to criticize mine.

I do believe that when people can't do anything else in a discussion other than call others names, they just show their ignorance.

I believe that prejudice manifests itself
out of ignorance and fear, (of the unknown).
Also-
prejudice for many, can be a "learned behavior",
(unfortunately).

In some circumstances,
I little bit of knowledge and insight can go a long way.
Sometimes it is only a matter of opening up
a person's mind, (and heart), in order to enlighten them.

Other times-
acknowleding the prejudice is a lost cause
and ignorning the behavior is all that can be done.
Some people that are prejudice react in such a
hideous manner just to gain attention upon themselves
or say and do things in order to "rattle" folks and
cause a stink for the mere pleasure of causing discord.

Most times,
I try to ignore the prejudice and not "feed" into it-
other times, I will debate an issue with a person that
has spoken out or acted unfairly towards others.
It all depends.

In the scenario that Maria mentions in this thread-
I would ignore it.
Strong views that are flung out in a public forum
that use swear words and are tainted with hate like that,
aren't worth the energy of debate
and would most likely only fuel the flames
of prejudice.


<FONT SIZE=5 COLOR=768A76 FACE="Lucida Handwriting">~Sage~ </FONT><img src="http://ChasingDownTheBlue.homestead.com/files/lilfairy.gif">

<FONT SIZE=2 COLOR=Black FACE="Tempus Sans ITC">I don't want no one to squeeze me-
they might take away my life
I just want someone to hold me
and rock me through the night
This youthful heart can love you
and give you what you need
But I'm too old to go chasing you around
Wasting my precious energy
Give me one reason to stay here-
and I'll turn right back around
</FONT><FONT SIZE=5 COLOR=Black FACE="Freestyle Script">Tracy Chapman</FONT>

I read the whole thread on the other board and wrote up a response to them, but my registration didn't go through and it wouldn't let me go back to copy my response so I could get the registration straight and post it.

I got the definite feeling tho that the offensive thread was populated by mostly younger women and we all know that our types of relationships seem to threaten younger women and older men the most. What a snakepit it is over there, huh?

And the poster who always refers to herself in the third person -- not only is that strange in itself, but she is quite rude and vile.

Now if you want to read a thread on a message board that applauds the older women/younger men issue go to Oprah's website and click on Message Boards; then click on Visit the Best of the Boards and you will see a thread entitled Older Women in Love with Younger Men. There are close to 900 posts on that thread. Sure there are a few detractors, but only a few and for the most part you will be able to see there is a whole world of our type of relationships out there.

Interestingly the thread over there is locked/gone too. :D

Originally posted by MariaLux
Nessa, I would fight for their cause too, no doubt about it.

Actually I don't see why other people's options should concern anyone else than themselves.

What bad can do that two adults fall in love and decide to share their lives? Nobody should have anything to do with it!

It scares me that some people find themselves in the right to impose the right kind of love to others. And I say this taking both sides into consideration. I don't ask them to choose my option, and don't want them to criticize mine.

I do believe that when people can't do anything else in a discussion other than call others names, they just show their ignorance.

Maria....this thread was interesting to me because of the way I was raised. My mother was ahead of her time in terms of how she saw people and the world. Growing up, it was absolutely forbidden to say anything prejudicial about any group. She has always hated prejudice in any form and taught us to speak up against it if it were ever presented to us. I've had to do this quite a few times in my life. I've had people assume because I am white that I would automatically agree with them and I took great pleasure to tell them how ugly and wrong I thought their opinions were. I thank my mother for what she taught us because it has allowed me to make some fantastic friends over the years. I hate to think what I would have missed out on if I had been raised to hate. Prejudice is and has been a horrible cancer for too long but I do not ever think it will go away.

This is why we need Moderators.
IF anyone still has this question.....

I feel safe here, especially since I now have my mate around.

I did not see the thread, nor do I know the site.
I have never looked for another site from this one regarding age-gap relationships...I'm just thankful I happened upon ageless first...:rolleyes:

Would I fight? I am such an introvert.
I would state the facts and promptly remove that person from my world.
Forget the bs.
Unfortunately, these people are everywhere and probably are idiots on much more than one level...
These are sad, insecure people who probably refuse to see anything grander than their shallow, narrow little false-realities.

blah.

Many of us are victims of prejudice, and I don't just mean age gap because at least in that situation you can CHOOSE to be in an age gap relationship or not. Many of us can't choose the quality that is persecuted.

Example: when I was growing up I lived in a community with 99% a different ethnic group than me (not saying what they were but nevertheless it was what is normally a minority) Well me, the WASP was persected, things written on the black board about me, forced to go in and out of school by a certain door, boys forbidden to date me.

As a woman I am persecuted in the work force. As an older person it is hard to find a job. As a poorer person I am looked down upon.

(THIS IS NOT A PITY CALL) just explaining... many of us see prejudice everyday but many of us don't even recognize it. My son will grown up to be a black man, and unlike here where he has known his friends all his life and he is perceived differently for having a white mom, out there he is just a black man.

Hope he does ok.

I would never have ANYTHING to do with a person who voiced a closed mind and intolerance over ANY group.

And yes I will voice my opinion til they poke bamboo shafts in their eardrums just to blot out my noise :D

Well I guess it depends on the audience.

I voted for the option of stating my opinion and then letting it go. I don't have alot of passion to fight to the bitter end with people I don't respect or care one fig about, like cyberspace hate mongers. I always consider the source when being criticized or when having to push back on people who are prejuidiced.

Americans tend not to look at a world wide scale at times, and maybe other countries don't either, I'm not sure. Although white is the majority race in the U.S., Asian is the majority race on the PLANET. One of every three humans on earth are of Asian descent.

We all know the world is shrinking, look at our global economy, terriorism on european and american soils, etc. If we wish to survive it would do us well to get over ALL prejuidices as best we can, be they national, racial, sexual, or age related.

Yes, Swan, we are always subject to one or other kind of prejudice.
I have been spat at in Tokyo by a Japanese middle aged man, probably for being a foreigner, and when I confronted him, he just stared at me with hatred (I was just walking at the platform of a train station and he went out of his way just to stand in front of me and spit on my coat).

Everytime I travel, and I've mentioned this here, I'm stopped and interrogated because of my Brazilian passport which seems to entitle anyone to think I'm a poor immigrant trying to enter illegaly some rich country. When they don't assume I'm some samba dancer after some easy money as prostitute. My ex's best friend said to my face I was probably part of some internation prostitution ring, because that's the only reason I would be living abroad.

Stereotypes and prejudice go often hand in hand. I have seen a muslim couple being treated as dirt in France once, in a big department store, for something that often happened to myself, their card couldn't be found on their lousy computer system. But they never treated me like they treated them, maybe because I was with my French husband, a blond blue eyed tall man with no accent, looking very French... but of course I had to say something and I said out loud so that the clerk would hear, "Wow, is she allowed to talk to a client like that? I can't believe it!". She changed her manners immediately and lately apologized... to me! :mad:

I just have to react to prejudice, because it's in my blood, I don't like to see unfair things, I would have defended anyone, even someone I don't especially liked, if I thought they were being treated unfairly.

Lost, Maria thinks none of us called anyone any names there, we were as polite as any human being could have been in such atmosphere...

But Maria might have missed some posts? :D

And well, as for that ageless rebel, "chaposa", they might as well have been a banned member, she/he surely had a lot of anger and personal issues against me.

Why? Maria has no clue at all! Maybe because I'm part of a team that brought some peace to Ageless and put its level up high?

Some people feel good in that kind of site, you see? And "chapoop" seemed very comfortable there.

Originally posted by babes66
And Peachy, I know a psycologist who once told me that someone always referring to themselves in 3rd person is a sure sign of some kind of psycosis.....having read that womans opinions, I think he was right!


hehe. . . that's something I'm gonna ask my psychology professor next week! :D

I would, and have fought against such ignorant attitudes up front. I would like to say though that often it’s important to pick your battles.
I stopped by here the other night just as all this started and then followed up on it last night. After seeing Jasmines post here the other night, I went over to the other site, and my first thought was, (after scanning some threads), why oh why would Jasmine post that question at this place? I wasn’t at all surprised by the replies she got. The name of the site alone suggests the possible mentality. I’ve frequented lots of different boards, some way rougher than that, and their replies were very typical, won’t find a lot of cutting edge independent thinkers on boards like that. On top of that they were fairly light weight -- as in some seemed to merely follow the popular opinion…I suspect probably more than a few of the guys were older …guys who definitely don’t wanna hear about women their ages getting younger guys…surrounded by their (my observation only) attention w****e women who are of course going to agree with what they say. Words like fat and granny are used in an attempt to cover up the obvious ignorance. Regs on most boards like that travel in packs and will almost always mimic the alpha male ;) The one woman poster (match?) was really the only female reg over there brave enough to take a stand of her own, but if I’m not mistaken she’s black, used to prejudice. I’m sure y’all realize what a nice site you have here, but do you realize how authentic it is? This site IS NOT typical of most sites online that I’ve found. Rare really. I fear that going over there may bring unwanted attention over here, but hopefully they will preoccupy themselves by rating the 21 year old babes on Hot or Not or FYR and go about their business. (that was catty, sorry). There will always be prejudice, but once talking with those people over there can you honestly tell me you care what they think? I’m positive that in real life you would not associate with them. I was grinning reading your posts last nite, you put up a good fight, but it was clear at about page 5 or so that it was falling on deaf ears. There are lots of different message boards and I think they all have their own little places in internet land. As well as some unwanted attention , it did occur to me to that going there will maybe educate/make it ok for some of the guys there and (women even) that have always been curious or interested in age gap relationships to further check it out. I hope this remains the safe space that it is. I don’t know if all that made a difference over there, but given the quality of people that were involved over there, I ask again, do you really care? They are the ones living in a tiny box with lots of rules about how things should be, never allowing themselves to see how much more is available.

I agree about the girl that kept talking in 3rd party….quite strange. Maybe she watched that one ep of Seinfeld too many times.

Alright, I always feel so left out... what is this other site? If someone could please pm me... unless it was the one I supposedly wasn't "good enough" to become a member of? Yeah, I'm bitter! :rolleyes:

Seriously, someone send me a pm...

Maria wants to kiss liquidgravity if she's a woman and give him a big hug if he's a man. Or the contrary! In any case, LG you are right and Maria thanks you for your nice words.

By the way, Maria has told some of you in private that, in Japan, it's very common to see women referring to themselves in the third person. This is considered to be very cute! :rolleyes:

Originally posted by PinkCat
Alright, I always feel so left out... what is this other site? If someone could please pm me... unless it was the one I supposedly wasn't "good enough" to become a member of? Yeah, I'm bitter! :rolleyes:

Seriously, someone send me a pm...

NOT GOOD ENOUGH! HMMPH! I WILL TAKE ON THAT PREJUDICE PERSONALLY!

Not good enough....whatever!

Tru... I don't get it!

Originally posted by MariaLux
Maria wants to kiss liquidgravity if she's a woman and give him a big hug if he's a man. Or the contrary! In any case, LG you are right and Maria thanks you for your nice words.

By the way, Maria has told some of you in private that, in Japan, it's very common to see women referring to themselves in the third person. This is considered to be very cute! :rolleyes:

Awww thanks. I'm a girl person and kisses and/or hugs are always welcome :) I lived in Japan and do vaguely remember that about the 3rd person thing, I also remember that they think walking 3 or 4 paces behind the man at all times is cute ;)


I must admit Maria, I thought for a minute there that you would go head to head w/ their mod over there and was a tad disappointed when you didn't for all of you were on quite the roll ;)

Pink, Tru is complaining because she was accepted in that lousy place LOL

:D

but she's surely bad enough for it! Like me!

Anyway, Liquid, you get all the kisses and hugs for your post, I agree with everything you said including the title: that we should pick our battles well.

At one point there I noticed that our message had been passed. We had covered all we wanted and reacted to those small minded and really rude women (they were mostly women, although using mostly for four people seems to me a bit too much :) ) and when I saw that they were starting to run out of arguments and that their posts had nothing to comment on, I decided my job was done.

I noticed too that the mod who locked the thread was as prejudicious as the rest of them, so no use counting on the moderation team to control their beasts.

I guess I had fun, then I was serious, and finally I was just bored. ;)

What I think will really validate the feasibility of these OW/YM relationships is simple...time. When more of us are in our 50s, 60s etc. and our guys are still hanging in. Unfortunately someone, somewhere has convinced us all that longevity is what determines a successful relationship...not quality.

Sally, I needed to read that today, thanks so much. I just love your posts, and this one is SO well though out, I agree with so much of what you said.

Women here have been in 15-20-25 even 30 year marriages and have quit because they are just so unhappy. Half the time the marriage was probably over and "unsuccessful" a half a lifetime ago but they endured because maybe they could fix it or it would get better if THEY themselves could maybe get better. But we all know it never did, don't we?

Most of us will take that risk of being truly happy for even 5 or 10 years, because of all that we put aside to be really good moms, wives, daughters, etc. That was our job. Now it's our job to forge ahead and be those thought leaders and put aside everybody's ideas as to how we should live our lives.

It's our turn to live the way we choose to once and for all.

Hugs to you Sally! You really do understand what it's all about.

Originally posted by PinkCat
Tru... I don't get it!

Hmm..I think it was me who didn't get it! I meant that if someone didn't accept you into a website..look out. I will be after them!

Great poll Maria!

I think it is important to let it be known where you stand on something, it's a valuable part of communication in my view. However, if I was confronted I would use the Gandhian philosophy of Ahimsa (or non-hurting, non-violence). Gandhi was a great leader and a great man for resolving problems. His basic principle was based on simple truth, that was his guide.

So, when in a situation such as this I would just offer the right cheek; neither retaliate with the same force that you are opposing, nor walking away. Stating your point in a calm, rational manner can be a beautiful thing. After all, we have so much to offer each other...that makes me smile.:)

Heehee Tru, lol!

Thanks to those of you that pointed me in the right direction to that other board.

I wasted a whole bunch of time and read the entire thread. I notice at the end that someone from there had come here and looked at our photos, and then started going on about how old and ugly we are. Hmm... interesting. I love how when we start beating them verbally, making too much sense, they have to 'put us in our place' by reminding us that we are ugly old bags.

I think it really offends some men that we don't fit into some pre-set ideal they have. OW dating YM... I think it really threatens their sense of order, and their sense of entitlement in terms of women being 'the weaker sex'. They got SO angry about it!!! Threatened.

I guess I can sort of understand because I used to look at the reverse, OM/YM, and feel sort of threatened by it. Note that this was when I was very young, so I was not 'jealous' or anything... I just felt like the men were somewhat predatory. I now know that this IS in fact a prejudice. That predatory OM do exist, but I should judge each situation for what it is (the ideal would be of course not to judge at all, but as a human, I can't help that).

I feel happy to think that I am part of something that is challenging the 'old boys' club'-type of mentality. Because I am sick of feeling apologetic for being a woman. Do you realize that that is what we are made to feel??? Like we should be grateful for whatever crumbs they throw us?

I don't mean to generalize and say that all men do this, but the ones that do cause enough trouble for us. We are supposed to feel ashamed and sorry for being less than perfect (and more than a size 4).

WE ARE SUPPOSED TO REALIZE THAT IF WE ARE NOT YOUNG AND ATTRACTIVE (not just one or the other, but young AND attractive), WE NEED TO SHUT OURSELVES AWAY AND BAKE COOKIES FOR THOSE WHO ARE. Those of us who don't do that... threaten those who have very little in life that they can cling to to make themselves feel safe.

Yes folks, lock up your younger men, because we have arrived. We aren't 20, we don't bake cookies, and we don't give a flying fig!!

GO PinkCat GO!!!

Originally posted by poll_lover
I think me and my Y chromosomes will be exiting the building. :cool:


LOL! GO poll_lover GO! :P

Lost, eloquent Maria is just human... ;)

And well our thread was pulled just because they had put a link to it and right after someone hinted that we were after kids (I have asked one mod to edit that, don't know if he did). I thought the integrity of the site came before ourselves.

But we never called them names! We referred to one poster who was very abusive and rude sometimes, and calling her ignorant (I didn't call her that, I think I said she was after me and that they were trucidating me...) would have been very light compared to what we really thought she was.

I didn't pull the thread because it was disrespectful. I do think we used expressions like let's go to war, let's get them, but that was really for fun, you saw what we wrote there... we were very polite.

As for a closing post, I didn't think it would change really. I wrote so many times that prejudice was not okay, whatever I wrote was immediately bashed, so I would never be able to close the discussion. They never discussed our opinions, they insulted us by calling us ugly, fat, old, grannies, sickos, insinuated we were into pedophilia... nahh, Lost, I don't think I was able to do anything else over there.

But Bella tried! She tried and tried and I felt bad for her, because she was alone in the end, but it was 6 am my time, I hadn't slept and I got to the conclusion they were not worth it. And the audience (well they were not really listening ;) ) had already had an idea of what we went there to say.

No, Poll_lover, don't go! I apologize if I offended... I only speak for myself, but I am really sick of certain men being really vocal about how, if they don't find us attractive, we don't even have a right to exist. I'm not referring to anyone on here... just guys I have encountered throughout my lifetime.

I am also against mean women who pick on nice guys... just not the topic of this particular tirade.

Originally posted by poll_lover
I think me and my Y chromosomes will be exiting the building. :cool:

Well I know this nice place in Rhode Island... :)

Originally posted by MariaLux
Well I know this nice place in Rhode Island... :)

And I hear you can get some good "toast" there....

He's going to burn, Tru.

Better start with some "smoothies"..

There is not a single old or ugly avatar on this site... Cept yours PinkCat.... LOL J/K

I went there,...just spent the last hour... good thing they locked it.
I'm not sure I would have done so well with tact.....leaves me feeling....well, man...such a large percentage of the general populus is just so freakin
narrow-minded.
A good fight, but apparently only fuel to the fire of ignorance.
They really have no idea of this which they speak.
yes, I am thankful for ageless.....
Kerri is going to make some dinner now and then Kerri is going to the grocery store.....:rolleyes:

Leda is glad she has no idea what anyone else is talking about because she would have been up all night and couldn't have solved the database problem at work this morning because she would have still been fuming. And had lack of sleep... no she doesn't need no drama.

Maria you try, but you keep going back and forth between third and first.... Guess you aren't psycho enough.

I read that thread earlier in the evening (before any insinuations about pedophilia appeared! :mad: ) and caught that PK creature's invitation to check out her photo. Managed to find their photo site -- which is also on msn -- but it consists of a total of 3 albums: Men, Women, and other pics. So you have to wade thru 200 - 300 pics page by page in each album (don't bother -- SO not worth the effort!!) and not everyone is identified by their username, so I couldn't find PK.

Ironically, PinkCat at 30 is a YW to PK at 34! (And you know you're One Of The Family when you can read that sentence, and understand it!)

Did you catch where PK said she was getting married in 2 days? Do you think she'll say her vows "PK does" instead of "I do"?? :D

Originally posted by Swan
Maria you try, but you keep going back and forth between third and first.... Guess you aren't psycho enough.

Maria has the impression that one more of those sites and she'll be a perfect psycho! :D

And PK is getting married! What can Maria say? Poor husband, if for her telling Maria to go s*** (sorry, Maria can't say it here) sounds like some kind of punishment, he won't be a very happy man... :D :D :D

When did I become this bad? :eek:

Don't knock the power of PK, ladies -- after all, we're saying her name, aren't we? :D

In all seriousness, had I visited a site like that when first seeking answers to my OW/YM questions, I'm sure I would have accepted it as the gospel truth. I would never have known any better, and I would have written off the possibility of an agegap relationship FOREVER. (And I would never have joined!) That's what's sad, that there might be lurkers who are buying into that prejudice as well....

Thanks for fighting the Good Fight, you guys! :)

Originally posted by MariaLux

When did I become this bad? :eek:

SEEEE you did ok til this line... you just CAN'T DO IT

Maria needs one more of those sites to go completely psycho, Swan, and she's conscious of her horrendous normality...:p

Sally, Tru read their rules and it seems they had broken quite a few of them on that thread, but guess what, the mod just went there to lock the thread and to post his smart remark that he would date a 45 or 47 year old woman, but how would it be when she was 70, and said ewwwwww

As if he would be frozen and conserved during 25 years... she would probably dump him then! :D

On a serious tone now, Maria thinks that Savannah is right, and as she (Savannah) has a Scottish genes filled brain, she is saying exactly what Babes said over there (or here), that had she gone there for help before starting anything with Streff, she would have missed a great chance in her life to meet someone she loves.

Only for that I consider it was worth not sleeping last night and posting over there! :)

PS Maria says good night, she'll sleep earlier tonight! She sends all of you kisses and love!

there are many accepted predjudices age-gap relationships is but one that can be considered an acceptable prejudice try being a born again christian, the amazing thing about that one is the loudest liberals shouting for rights of the underdog will step on my head because of my faith..... its a funny world, but it truly is about acceptance of everyone as part of God's creation... and that is HARD to master, even when we say we are not prejudice are we really just talking the talk, its harder than you think.

i agree it is about ignorance, however, people are so comfortable with their ignorance even when they hear the truth they hold on steadfast to what they know is right, its much safer to do that than really deeply and internally open and change.

the best way to make impact is kindness, i dont believe God wants anyone of us to be walked on but what is remembered and respected is kindness to others that is a test of strength it is very hard to do, but its the hard stuff that keeps me growing.

I don't know what message board you're all talking about, but I'd like to read what's being said if someone would kindly PM me.

Thaka ya!

K

Okay, phew! Leak away! ;)

LOL @ Swan... I know, my avatar is offensive, isn't it?

Savannah said:
"Ironically, PinkCat at 30 is a YW to PK at 34! (And you know you're One Of The Family when you can read that sentence, and understand it!)"

I thought about that too...heehee!!! Too funny! What a close-minded individual she is. I kept wondering what she would do if her husband left her in the future for someone younger... would she just think, "Well, I deserve it, because I am old and disgusting now..." What would be really funny is if he left her for someone older!! Okay, that was a low blow, but admit it... it's kind of funny to think about!!

I read some of the other posts on that site... not too good. We really are lucky to have Ageless!!! People here are so much more tactful and intelligent. Excluding what I just said, of course. ;)

I would also like to read the thread on the other site. I know the name of the site, but can't find the thread. So, can someone PM me and send me a link to it?

thanks!

I'm sorry I couldn't stay and fight the good fight with you guys, but I agreed with everything that was said (by us, I mean). I think after a while it was only two women really keeping up their arguments (PK and PinkQ), and that one guy who just kept saying we were trolls.

It's really sad that they have such a poor view of women in their 40's and 50's (those seemed to be the main age groups they had a problem with). It doesn't sound like they hold out much hope for themselves at those ages. It doesn't even make sense to think the way they do. Even if two people are exactly the same age, they are both going to get older. Do they advocate that men should just leave their wives once they reach a certain age because they no longer resemble Britney Spears? Give me a break. Those girls have no idea what committment or devotion are about. And the insunuation that younger men are helpless and at the mercy of "predatory" older women was just laughable. It doesn't seem that those two think much of their male peers, either.

It does upset me that this kind of thinking is out there. I remember when I was looking for a site like this one, and I posted a question on a board (Maybe it was at ivillage - I don't remember) about the OM/YW relationship I was considering. The response was horrible. Everyone said he just wanted to use me, and that there was no way we could have anything in common, etc. That kind of thing can produce serious doubts in anyone who was already questioning a relationship like that. If I had believed what they said and not kept looking for more open-minded people, I wouldn't have eventually found SomeNight on this board. I just hope that most people can see that what those kinds of people say doesn't ring true and doesn't reflect the real situation. To allow prejudiced people to keep you from something this special would just be a waste.

I just spent the past hour reading that infamous thread on that other site (not worth mentioning the name). I just want to say that I am so proud to be a member of this forum where everyone is made to feel welcome.

Over there, my skin was crawling reading some of those posts. Not just on that thread, but on another one that PinkQ started to poll guys on how old they would date.

No doubt about it... that site has just confirmed that prejudice against OW/YM age gap relationships is alive and thriving out there in the world. But, reading that thread also reaffirmed my commitment to not letting my age difference with Remi be an issue in our relationship.

Thank you to everyone who stood up and fought to defend people's right to be in whatever kind of relationship they want. I only wish that I had been there to join in the fray. :D

Originally posted by Kalri
I don't know what message board you're all talking about, but I'd like to read what's being said if someone would kindly PM me.

Thaka ya!

K
Me too....Im lost and would also like to know:confused:

Originally posted by MrsHedgeHog
If you go to jasmine2's first post here, she tells you where she got some very bad advice about ow/ym relationships. From there, you can follow everyone's directions to find the post everyone's talking about.

Thanks :D

I don't mean to "denounce" him, but Dan has the link... and if you send him a kiss in your PMs, he'll send it even faster! :D

LOL Nessa!


Danno, I just PM'd the link to Charo.

I didn't find the thread you are speaking of, but I did find the "poll" that was posted. Interesting. According to them, women over 40 should do the male gender a favor and hang it up. And if we date younger men, we are sick. I did notice a few defenders, but apparently I am doomed, and should go off to contemplate my demise and end the misery right now. The sad thing is, this is a "male" message board? Yikes. Not to worry though, the gods of life's irony have a way of working on people like that, and dealing them a healthy dose of karma.

PS. If some of those respondents were younger women, it's no wonder some young men prefer us old geezers.

I wonder if they are familiar with the statistical fact that 1/3 of women 40 and up are dating/married/or otherwise in relationships with men who are younger than them? And this is likely on the rise. Good heavens. Stop the insanity! :eek:

The thread's still there. I have the link if anyone wants it. But, trust me, other than the posts from our friends here, the rest is simply not worth reading. They are a bunch of judgmental, defensive people who refused to get the point.

To loosely paraphrase the poll thread, the reason that Mother Nature hits women over the head with an "ugly stick" when they hit forty, is to take them out of the pool of possible breeders.
I think that it was summed up by one woman who said, at the ripe old age of 26, she's already having a hard time finding good guys to date, and if young men see women in their forties and fifties and possible dating material, she'll not have anyone.
We're supposed to bow out and clear the field, we've had our time, now it's theirs.
Perhaps its that atitude that's causing the problem for her, and others in the same mindset?
Just because you're cute and young, doesn't mean life owes you jack.
Just because you're cute and young, doesn't mean you have the right to be insensitive, and demanding.
Actually, on the original thread, all three of the people causing the problem were young women. Shaggy, who kept insisting we were all the same person trolling is also a young female.
Y'know, musing here, that's why I wish every woman involved with a younger man would STOP starting out by saying, "but I look way younger" when introducing herself. It makes it sound like she's ashamed of her age, and that she only deserves to have a younger man attracted to her because she "looks younger".
Hocky Puck
I realize that on some level we're all still under some animal impulses, but I wish women would stop viewing every other damn woman on the planet as competition.
Men have control of themselves, and NO woman can steal away any man who's commited to his woman. Any man who says otherwise, is trying to justify guilt.
I found it very disheartening that women of that age had such a low opinion of men their own age, that they think a pack of predatory menopausal women could take them all away with no control at all on the men's part.
Perhaps if they treated guys with respect, and dignity, they wouldn't find the dating field quite so slim.
As far as Jasmine, if he tries to hide you, dump his butt, sex isn't worth loss of dignity, and a weekend of fun that winds up making you feel used and worthless is crap.
I could take people and just shake them sometimes for being doormats. Alone is better than settling for something icky like that.

Originally posted by Bella
Y'know, musing here, that's why I wish every woman involved with a younger man would STOP starting out by saying, "but I look way younger" when introducing herself.

I couldn't agree more!!! When someone tells me I look younger, I always say I look my age, and that's how women my age look now, and it's true. I don't look younger than most of my friends in Brazil and they are under the tropical sun everyday, we all look great (being vain here!) because we take care of ourselves, we love ourselves, and that's what makes people look beautiful: how they feel about themselves.

For each age a different kind of beauty. That's what I see when I look at me and around me.

~Maria starts preparing signs and t-shirts~

LET'S DO IT!!!!

We can notify the news networks....

We can have one in St. Louis in June, London in July, and Maryland in August. :D

I whent over and just looked at the site, and they have a thread going now asking why Y/W are with O/M and the responses are UNBELIEVABLE!

Dont those people have anything better to do with there time then rip on relationships?

Originally posted by Bella

We're supposed to bow out and clear the field, we've had our time, now it's theirs.


Funny, I thought that this is finally my time! Never had anything like this before... :rolleyes: :D


note: there were a lot of comments on 20 years older being old enough to date their mother.....

...me thinks they have issues with their mother, and in their own narrow minded way, believe that every older woman is a cookie-cutter of their mom (whom they think negatively of) .... or....since the reference was made, *they* don't look that hot in their 20s, and fear the future ...(and this is what has been the basis of their relationships thus far).
unfortunately, they too are just products of our society and feel poorly about themselves. I think the board over there is probably comprised of Americans. (westernized, media-fed views).....

I got a total visual on hip-hop PK when she said something like
*BBBOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!* -- turned my stomach.

....perhaps they too will become wiser as they grow older. I have always tried to curb being cruel to people, ...even if these are *just* message boards, there are real people behind these monitors. We don't just stand up and let it go...we carry what we read and write into our waking worlds. We think about eachother. I have even thought about strange PK. I hope she comes to terms with herself someday and becomes the first person.

okay....time to start my day.

xoxokerri:)

(edited for clarification)

I am envisioning PK as one day finding herself attracted to a younger man and then :eek: she will EAT HER WORDS. Same for Pinkq.

.....either that or she will miss a great relationship because she will be a martyr and stick by her twisted beliefs.....(hmmmm, isn't that how martyrdom goes....?)

I just made the mistake of reading some more posts at the horrible website we were all talking about, and it just made me feel terrible. I am never going to do that again, that's for sure.

But it just made me think... do a lot of men feel this way about women? By "this way", I mean, that we are only of value to them if they find us attractive, and that we are all after money and we like to be treated like crap?

This has not been the case with a lot of guys I have met, but some of them thought this way.

I feel blue.

I am not even going to read it! I will just get all upset! But I agree with Nessa...shallow types I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

to use biblical reference there is a part in the bible that says for God's children to not caste their pearls to the little piggys, because a piggy doesnt know what to do with a pearl.

so in other words it is not worth arguing about, at the end of the day there will still be jealousy and hatred but i would choose not to lay down with the little dogs in worry one of their fleas would jump off on me, in other words i would get caught up in their anger (that last one was not biblical reference) my choice would be to let them keep their anger and i will keep my happiness. anger will ultimately eat you up and make your soul old and bitter. And for that reason i probably am a much younger person than they can ever hope to be.

Good relationships are gifts from God, but in order to have the gift you have to be worthy, maybe they are so angry and sad because deep down they know they are not worthy, if love finds you worthy, it will find YOU. i hope they find love and heal.

In life it's often the good versus the bad. In this case we are the good ones, and you know why?

Because what we want here will never interphere with anything in their lives, except if we date a member of their familes, othewise I don't see how .

On the other hand, they want to impose something to ours. With very few exceptions, this is never good.

Well, ya know - lots of people are stupid and shallow. I wish that it wasn't so, but it is. That's why when you find the special people who aren't, you treasure and cherish them for as long as possible.

They wouldn't be special people if they weren't somewhat rare :>

And when reflecting on other people's opinion, always consider the source. Opinions and advice are only as valuable as the people they come from.

My Dad told me a long time ago that if everybody likes you all of the time, then it demonstrates only one thing.

That you're telling everybody what they want to hear instead of what you really think :>

I was that way too Sally! I had a big prejudice against LDR'S.
I have a friend who went with her sister to Jamaica (her sister is a Dr. in Alaska and they were going for a vacation...several of the Alaska group) and met one of the men there. They had one date and then started to talk on the phone after she came home to Texas and he went back to Alaska. They also did yahoo (before I was into that) and she said she was falling in love. I thought she was nuts! I kept saying "you only had one date with him!" She would say "but we talk for hours and chat and he writes me the most beautiful words" I would say "You have lost your mind! He might turn out to be a creep! You can not know him unless you are around him every day! "
They ended up getting married btw and she and I don't even talk! ( I MUST call her and admit my fault)

Now here I am eating humble pie and feeling like a fool for being so judgmental and unable to understand. :(

I am glad that I am enlightened but I wish I had not been so judgmental to my friend! Something will happen to those women over there one day...it may not be an age gap situation but it will be something they too will be judged on. What goes 'round comes 'round.

All them idiots on the other board are probably all inbred anyway!

JOE!

Diggin' the new avatar! LOL!!

I didn't read the thread. I'm not going to either.

Finally, at the ripe old decrepit age of 42, I can say that I have something of a self-esteem. It took me many years of trial, error, heartache, pain, abuse. I'm not trading a wrinkle or a gray hair or a stretchmark, or an extra pound of misplaced cellulite, for it either. I didn't like myself when I was a young woman. I was very shy, and was my own worst enemy. Now, I have more wisdom, courage, inner strength, heart, and beauty than ten of those shallow, misguided, ugly women over there. I call them ugly not because of appearance.. I have no idea what they look like.. they are ugly in their hearts.

I would like to say to all the women of AgelessLove.. you are the most beautiful women on the net. Thank you!

HUGS to all of you! You are the best! :D

Originally posted by Genevieve
I didn't read the thread. I'm not going to either.

Finally, at the ripe old decrepit age of 42, I can say that I have something of a self-esteem. It took me many years of trial, error, heartache, pain, abuse. I'm not trading a wrinkle or a gray hair or a stretchmark, or an extra pound of misplaced cellulite, for it either. I didn't like myself when I was a young woman. I was very shy, and was my own worst enemy. Now, I have more wisdom, courage, inner strength, heart, and beauty than ten of those shallow, misguided, ugly women over there. I call them ugly not because of appearance.. I have no idea what they look like.. they are ugly in their hearts.

I would like to say to all the women of AgelessLove.. you are the most beautiful women on the net. Thank you!

HUGS to all of you! You are the best! :D

HUGS TO YOU TOO GEN!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!!!

Originally posted by PinkCat
I just made the mistake of reading some more posts at the horrible website we were all talking about, and it just made me feel terrible. I am never going to do that again, that's for sure.

But it just made me think... do a lot of men feel this way about women? By "this way", I mean, that we are only of value to them if they find us attractive, and that we are all after money and we like to be treated like crap?

This has not been the case with a lot of guys I have met, but some of them thought this way.

I feel blue.

Awww don't be blue. really. You have to take boards like that w/ a grain of salt. If you go there again, which I wouldn't personally advise, read some of the advice they give to other guys...hello!! I read a post from some guy the other nite telling them had their heads up their butts if they thought relationships worked the way they were saying. Certainly age gaps aren't the norm, but who cares, there are tons of things that aren't the norm - but I think living in a world where you try to have everything fit your *pictures* is futile at best, and they will discover that on their own; haven't we all in some way over the years? I think people should find happy however and wherever they can. I KNOW FOR SURE that would be the last place on the planet I'd get relationship advice from. Look on that board for the wisdom, experience and caring that is here ... won't find it. :)

Originally posted by Zephirine
... thanks Nessa.

And if an older man complains about sagging boobs, I'm fast enough to tell him I'm much happier with sagging boobs than a saggin dick!!!

:D :D

edit >> what is happening to me???!!

ROFLOL@ ZEPH!!!! LOL!!!!!

Pink, I am sure men who think like that do exist and some of those seem to be on that board for sure ;)

But I have to say, I have never met a man (in any depth) who would hold any of those views. I am probably not representative to many here, because I haven't really made any major bad experiences with men - all the guys I have know and spend quality time with, as friends, colleagues or partners, would most certainly not subscribe to any of those ;)

But then I have a low tolerance level for jerk-ish and condescending male behaviour and attitude ;) So, guys like that tend to stay way clear of my path ;)

So, they are out there for sure, but it's most certainly not all men, by far ;)

The truth is, even if we have been intolerant in the past with this or that kind of relationship, very few of us would have been that mean and that aggressive in real life or online.

I can just feel that after all the moderation we had here since last July, when we led a real campaign against rudeness and written abuse of other members here in Ageless, the ones who remained know better that there are limits to how one can express their disagreement.

We are in a much higher level than they are, most of us because we were born like that and we like it this way, some of us because we got the message that it's either politely, or we are out of here.

And you know what? I have never been so proud of the work moderation has done here as when I saw what goes on there.

Sorry if I don't sound humble.

I did notice a thread there that was a request for moderators.. lol Half of them would be banned if I had the controls! :D

I kept hoping some mod would come and say, hey, let's respect other people's opinions and stop the meanness.

But when he came, the only thing he could say was some derogatory comment on older women. I felt deceived. :(

DAYMN!!!

Originally posted by babes66
I do know that anyone reading the whole thread with an iq over 50, will see that our arguments were logical and reasonable, and hopefully, any person male or female who is considering an agegap relationship, will read our posts, and then come here and join us!
This site has always been a haven, and has certainly kept me sane, but I dont think even I realised HOW wonderful this place is until I saw what else is out there.
I am so lucky to have you all, and want to tell you that you are all wonderful and I am honoured to be your friend!

Babes, you raise an excellent point. This is exactly how I felt after reading that thread last night. The whole thing is an advertisement for ageless and is a sign of what to watch out for on that other website (name not worth mentioning).

That's exactly how I felt and what made me go there and post, although I really agreed that those three or four people there weren't listening!

I thought, someone else is going to read this! Someone has to know the other side of the subject, the readers should be aware that the freaks were not us, but them!

I saw Joe posting like a gentleman, like a counselor, and then Pink and Tru and all of us, who had probably been prepared for a long time here by reading each of our members' problems, things they had faced, nasty observations they had been submitted to.

We knew all those stupid arguments they were using, because we are a group that learn from each other. I felt as if I had been preparing for that discussion for a long time. And I had!

Haha. . . I can't help but keep laughing @ Maria for saying somethng like, "This means war!" So cool!!! :D

Originally posted by Tru
JOE!

Diggin' the new avatar! LOL!!

Hey thanks Tru! I figured it was a better self portrait than my other one. That's how I look when Peachy puts her delicious food on the table! :D

Joe, it was not really as if I wanted to battle the site. I am not made for war. I love harmony and I love respect, and I am completely for dialogue. That's why other than commenting on the rude words that were meant to me over there, I was as polite as I could.

When I called people from here to go there and post, it was in the best of the intentions, because I knew that we can fight prejudice better when we associate. That's what has historically happened with the different ethnic communities, with the homossexual, with the physically and mentally challenged.

They were wrong when they called us trolls. Nothing in this world makes people defending their cause by polite and civil ways, invaders, raiders, trolls.

It was a peaceful war, if such exists. We used only words, our personal experiences, and we were up to telling them who we were when some bitter coward chapoomba went there and tried to make us all look bad. Well, I guess some people just don't have the balls.

It's a very strange post, I agree. I guess unregistered might explain to us what he meant.

I noticed a couple of Unregistered's posts, very strange but one in which he or she apologizes by saying that they use a translator to post...so perhaps an explanation from Unregistered would help, Maria. Maybe just a language barrier thing.

In this poll, I chose that I would speak my opinion then let it go, which is exactly what I did over there at that terrible site. I'll never return---but Im glad that I was involved in speaking out against the things those folks said but mostly the WAY they said them. Most of them seemed to be mental midgets with very ugly hearts---not worth any more of our time and efforts to educate.

We are truly blessed to have this site and each other!!
Thanks everyone for being so great, I am so glad that I am here.
http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/linie/smiley-linie-006.gif

Unregistered may be Italian. I hope he'll tell us what he meant, it may be innocent.

Originally posted by MariaLux
Joe, it was not really as if I wanted to battle the site. I am not made for war. I love harmony and I love respect, and I am completely for dialogue. That's why other than commenting on the rude words that were meant to me over there, I was as polite as I could.


I know Maria, but you were cracking me the F**K UP!!! :D

Now how can I tell you to take the f word from there? :(

Not with you flattering me. I'm extremely weak to flattering! Peachy!!!

:( :(

Have mercy! :D

hmmmm PICS

if you must remove (or maybe you don't have to!)
give it a couple minutes anyway....:D

PK

Shaggy

pm me for links...the 10 o' clock pumpkin is here....

Let me be the first to predict, that PK's adorable baby boy will fall madly in love with a 40 year old woman when he's 19.. ROFL!! :D

I'll second that!
Originally posted by Genevieve
Let me be the first to predict, that PK's adorable baby boy will fall madly in love with a 40 year old woman when he's 19.. ROFL!! :D

and....these links expire 10pm PST! :D
you may pm me after that.....

Yeah, it's pretty funny how pklakerat is 34 and "unregistered" is 34 as well. :rolleyes:

i agree with maria, in life many times it is good versus bad, so sometimes it is wise to take caution and realize that if you decide to go out there and take a tumble with hurtful people, that the purpose of their attack is to hurt...... and it seems that they suceeded and for that i am so sorry.

there are times to pick a battle, but if you pick a battle with a little piggy dont be surprized that the little piggy acts like a pig.
they are sad, lonely, bitter, hateful, empty, certainly unspiritual, and lost little souls and i feel for anyone in this frame of mind and i would not for ANY reason seek out a site that would be filled with so much darkness, i dont feel the need to stand up to the world for my choice because all i am guilty of is loving Adam, i will not degrade my love for anyone. Thank God we live in a country that we really are free to love who we want.

I know I'm new to this website, but I would love to find out what you're talking about too. Please somebody - could you take a second to PM me.

Originally posted by Joe
I know Maria, but you were cracking me the F**K UP!!! :D

Sugar, I can't leave you alone for a minute can I? You misbehavin' again??

I'm sorry Maria . . . I'll try to stay on top of him better in the future :D

Ok, I haven't exactly been involved in this whole thing but I've seen enough to at least make one little post!:)

To me, the name of the website we're on right now says it all; Ageless Love. After all, love, attraction, passion, connection, can't be limited to an age, a time or a certain type of person. Love exists with or without our co-operation. It just seems that the people at this other site have simply shut down their ability to accept love (even in a plutonic sense) from someone based on age etc. Their loss I guess. Personally, I don't think there is a right or wrong here. But I do think people who refuse to be open to all the beautiful possiblities that love and life has to offer are simply swimming upstream.

It's not you guys that they are in disagreement with; it's themselves. What a conflict it must be to have been conditioned into thinking one thing and being shown the complete opposite. That's what happened when they heard from you ladies. Then they got a little scared and reacted.

Well this was how I saw it anyway. Regardless, as a proud male member of this website I support all you ladies. You're all beautiful, intelligent, wise individuals and we value you in every sense. That's why we're here! There's nothing I can really say that will be a miracle cure, but all of us YM are behind you. Think of every post on this site as being another sign of the support we give you and that we respect everything about you!:)

Roberto,

Is "plutonic" love, a love of Pluto? Hehehe.. sorry, I couldn't resist! http://www.maytai15.com/pluto.gif

Dag nabbit! I'm curious! What's the site? Why can't someone post a link to it on here?

"Plutonic love" hee hee hee! That was cute, Gen. Oh, and Tom Welling ROCKS! I watch Smallville all the time. I get lost in that guy's eyes. I'll bet NOTHING sags on him!:D

Oh, Roberto, you're cute too. I love the way you write.:)

Uh.. no Pale.. nice try though. Check your PMs girl. LOL :D

No problem, Peachy! But why is he so well behaved outside Ageless, tell me?

Why are we the only ones to have that privilege? :rolleyes:

Can someone pm me that sites addy?
Thanz
~T

We have two threads on the same subject going on. Pink cat, do you mind if I merge them? It's lots of mixed messages and it seems very contra productive.

Just let me know if you agree.

I just got the link PM'd to me too. Thank you! I think it'll take a while to read through all the responses, but I have to say that what I've read already is typical. Years ago, I was going through a hard time and thought I'd see if a counselor would help. I had been casually seeing someone 14 years younger than me and I mentioned this in my first meeting with him. The counselor was about my age. Immediately, he said to me, "did you ever think that maybe he thinks you're old enough to be his mother!!!" He made some comment like, "of course he wouldn't seriously want you!" I walked out of the session. It was the first and only time I met with him. He sent a letter saying how he knows that sometimes things we discuss are "hurtful" and that I was welcome to set up another appointment if I wanted. I found out later that this counselor was single and looking. Seems to me that he got his personal ego in the way of his professionalism.

Last night, I was watching Carson Daly. His guest was Jeff Goldblum and Carson made a comment about how Jeff's girlfriend is 25 years younger than him. That wasn't put down at all. I am still amazed at the double standard we have in our society. I'm glad to see I'm not alone in feeling this way.

Can someone please pm me that site's addy, too? I'll go and raise hell.:eek: It sounds like some people could use a little enlightening.

would someone PM me the site... I am old, have nothing to do.. and have had too much wine... LET ME HAVE AT THEM

Originally posted by MariaLux
No problem, Peachy! But why is he so well behaved outside Ageless, tell me?

Why are we the only ones to have that privilege? :rolleyes:

LOL Maria -- what makes you think he behaves outside of Ageless?? :confused:

Lol, Swan!!! You're hilarious. I'll go with you over there.

Originally posted by peachy51
LOL Maria -- what makes you think he behaves outside of Ageless?? :confused:

He was way too sweet over there!!! :D :D And kept saying I was too good in the argument (meaning of course too bad!)! :eek:

I am new to this site, but I did go over to the other site and read the whole thread. They were very hurtful to the OP and the old lady digs were definitely uncalled for. Most of the arguments are so familiar though. I hear it from people all the time - whether I'm currently in a relationship or not.

I want to say one other thing - looking at your pictures, I definitely don't see a bunch of fat, ugly, crazy people . . . you look like a group of good, friendly and supportive people who know who you are. I hope that in the future, more and more people will come to understand that it's just as OK if the woman is older as it is if the man is older. Things are changing and hopefully, will continue to change.

Will somone enlighten me as well with the name of the other site? Please pm me too?

You know, I've been noticing a reference of late to some other board and didn't think much about it. I've heard over the years that there is another site for age gap relationships and didn't think there was anything offensive about it.

I'm getting the impression it's a different site you all are talking about.

I'm hoping you will pm me.

Thank you in advance.
Cindy

I almost neglected to say that I also see that you're an attractive bunch of people - not just the older women, but the younger men!:D

This thread is cracking me up....it's like you plucked the thoughts from my all too small brain...what site? how'd ya'll know about this site to begin with?

Is there a club within a club around here? *lol*

I'm confused why all the secrecy about the URL. The site is Askmen.com and it's suppsed to be a support site. I guess it is if you wear flame-proof undies. Mostly it's a site where people, who have way too much time on their hands, post narrow-minded opinions to people who should know better than to ask a serious question there.

This particurlar question wouldn't have fared much better here. The OW (who is about 20 years older than her 34 year old boyfriend) is being seen only at motels because he doesn't want to bring her back to his apartment (that he shares with another OW) because "the walls are too thin." Her last BF made her hide in the closet when his roomie came home. :confused:

This woman either has bubble-wrap between her ears or this is a troll post put up to get a hot reactions from the local dweebs. I guess it's worth a look if you like watching this sort of nonsense. It's by Jasmine2 in the Love & Relationships forum. It's back about page 12 and is locked now and wisely so.

If someone has some extra time on their hands they could wander over and start a positive thread and we could harrass them by supporting it. Me, I have too much to do to harass these guys, besides from the questions and and answers in other forums they don't learn much anyway. :p Think I'll stick around here where at least people show they have some common sense.

Peace,
Jane

Kookie, I LOVE that baby! That was such a giggle! I feel like that so much...it's ALL ABOUT ME, dammit!:D

BA, she got the same good advices here, without the insults and the references to her being a granny, an old chick, a sicko. That's why we were all there, because of the insults and the way they treated her. As for the original situation, we were very much against her seeing him in his place and told her to get her own room and see how he really was in public.

As for links to other sites, it's personal, I prefer not to start any other war with them, because those two or three members that were so inflamed are not representative of the whole site... or so I hope. Just a question of discretion, no interdiction whatsoever, not for any reasons we have right now.

Maria said:
"We have two threads on the same subject going on. Pink cat, do you mind if I merge them? It's lots of mixed messages and it seems very contra productive.

Just let me know if you agree."


No Maria, I don't mind if you merge the threads!! Merge away! :)

I hope everything will be easier now, since the discussion is exactly the same and now you have the whole story put together, even those who are just arriving.

Thanks PinkCat, you are a sweetie. :)

Pale, they said they were not interested in us LOL

I think we are safe, and we are always around anyway. I guess we are too boringly polite for them... ;)

Maria! I love the new avatar!

:D :D :D

http://www.palermoviejo.com/palermoviejo/gifs/muecas%20y%20sonrisas/1b.gif

Thank you, girls! I feel very happy! :)

Why do none of these people pick on younger women/older men relationships? We seem to be crossing some type of forbidden social barrier. But I see that as a good thing! The patriarchal society that we live in could use a good shaking up.

Originally posted by kookie1
What sickens me worse, is the fact that women are the worst offenders! Can you believe it!! The worst post are from WOMEN I think it's perfectly understandable that younger women (shallow ones at least) would have some major insecurities about OW/YM relationships. If their youth isn't enough to attract younger guys, and they haven't taken the time to develop enough personality to keep them interested, then what is their advantage? And if it's coming from older women it's probably just petty jealousy. It's a silly competitive drive (I really think women are more competitive with each other than men are), but it exists nonetheless.

And Witchy, there is prejudice that goes both ways, but unless you're in an OM/YW relationship, you probably don't notice it - just like it's easy to ignore racism if you're white. I think it is sad what some of them said about OM/YW relationships being okay but not the reverse. All that means though, is that they think it's just fine for women to be dependent on men (and assume that's what OM/YW relationships are about). It has nothing to do with believing in love without the boundaries of age. I'm just as offended by that kind of hypocrisy as any of you are.

Witchy, someone noticed that they have another thread going on there about younger women/older men that was equally disturbing.

I think it's a weird community! :rolleyes:

You got my curiousity stirred up, so I gots to know so I can read all this myself.

My own opinion is that there are people who might put something derogatory on one of these boards that they probably would not have enough guts to tell somebody to their face. I wouldn't worry a whole hell of a lot about them.

Originally posted by MariaLux
someone noticed that they have another thread going on there about younger women/older men that was equally disturbing. You got me curious so I went and looked for that thread. I think I found the one you were talking about (if not, there are at least two of them).

Ugh. I wasn't surprised at what was said, but I was surprised at the near-unanimous opinion. I guess that's what it means when your relationship is "accepted" - everyone accepts the same stereotype. I almost feel like I should walk around wearing a t-shirt that says "No, I'm not a golddigger" but I don't think it would help. :rolleyes:

I don't think most of those people are worth the brain cells that I've destroyed just reading their thread titles.

OMG it was askmen.com??? well you know right there... I mean when has ANY woman gotten a break when you ask men?

Is this a revelation? are you all in the stone age? WOMEN NEVER GET A BREAK if you ASK MEN.

I need to say... in true spirit, that I love men because they are human, there is not a human that I don't love because I am directed to, but GEESO PEETE... no woman will ever get a break on a site called ASKMEN... might as well go to the MAN SHOW on MTV for support.

EXCEPTIONS.... there are some.

and the women that post there probably watch that show to know how they are supposed to be to attact a man.