Deli
03-21-2004, 02:28 AM
I am very happy to be posting this and wish to thank everyone for their words of advice.
I identified my main problem with my feeling my life was stagnant with me feeling left out of my ym's new job. He works a 'swing shift' of sorts and I would bankers hours +4 so our time to talk and chat was limited. He doesnt have a network with an internet connection at work, so IM was out of the question and he can only check his email from home. Phoning from work is difficult for both of us, so that basically left us with time before I went to bed and he was just getting home and I was feeling miserable and missing the constant communication we used to have. LDR's are just difficult anyway you look at them.
Anyway, I told him how I was feeling, that I didn't blame him or his job and it was just the way life was at the moment. I also told him I loved how he would in great detail tell me about his day, funny things that happened, good experiences, bad experiences, he is wonderful at keeping me in the loop, but that I didn't feel any part of it, just was kind of in a passive listening mode. I needed to feel more of an active role in his life rather than the bystander that I felt I was.
He was extraordinarily understanding and apologized for not involving me more, but thought that I was busy with my own issues and didn't want to 'burden' me. In the end, he has agreed to allow me to help with some work projects he has coming up. My role will strictly be research or just brainstorming ideas for him, but I love that sort of stuff. It makes me feel like a part of something and I have contributed in someway. When classes resume, I will help write papers and such, as I have done in the past, so I am feeling alot better about things. Besides, I see him in less than a month, so I have something big to look forward to. He has also agreed that if I decide to take a Spanish course, that he would help me (Spanish is his first language and English his second) with pronounciation although he admits I will probably have to tell him about proper grammar since he learned Spanish at home and not in school and more than likely picked up some bad habits.
Bottom line: things are good and continue to get better. Thanks for your support.
I identified my main problem with my feeling my life was stagnant with me feeling left out of my ym's new job. He works a 'swing shift' of sorts and I would bankers hours +4 so our time to talk and chat was limited. He doesnt have a network with an internet connection at work, so IM was out of the question and he can only check his email from home. Phoning from work is difficult for both of us, so that basically left us with time before I went to bed and he was just getting home and I was feeling miserable and missing the constant communication we used to have. LDR's are just difficult anyway you look at them.
Anyway, I told him how I was feeling, that I didn't blame him or his job and it was just the way life was at the moment. I also told him I loved how he would in great detail tell me about his day, funny things that happened, good experiences, bad experiences, he is wonderful at keeping me in the loop, but that I didn't feel any part of it, just was kind of in a passive listening mode. I needed to feel more of an active role in his life rather than the bystander that I felt I was.
He was extraordinarily understanding and apologized for not involving me more, but thought that I was busy with my own issues and didn't want to 'burden' me. In the end, he has agreed to allow me to help with some work projects he has coming up. My role will strictly be research or just brainstorming ideas for him, but I love that sort of stuff. It makes me feel like a part of something and I have contributed in someway. When classes resume, I will help write papers and such, as I have done in the past, so I am feeling alot better about things. Besides, I see him in less than a month, so I have something big to look forward to. He has also agreed that if I decide to take a Spanish course, that he would help me (Spanish is his first language and English his second) with pronounciation although he admits I will probably have to tell him about proper grammar since he learned Spanish at home and not in school and more than likely picked up some bad habits.
Bottom line: things are good and continue to get better. Thanks for your support.