Update on Me

Things are so great between the two of us and we have sent the last seven days together either on the phone at work, or elsewhere. Her daughter loves me and I remind her of her last bf. I've treid to call her a few times today and went to her place but I think she went out with her parents somewhere. The thing is i wanted to tell her today that I found out my mother only has about two months to live and I wanted to let her know because she was concerned about it, but I don't know where she's at today. She gonna go to Orlando tommorow but maybe I'll try her on Wed. We had kind of weird dicusssion about sex on the phone yesterday and I had a feeling I got her all worked up! It's just weird not talking to her today, I feel like a part of me is missing.

Dang dude, sorry to hear about your mother! My prayers are with you. :(

The worst part is that I'm more worried about that my ow doesn't think I'm a wuss for going to her for emotional support. I don't get it, mom and me were never that close but she'll be gone soon and I just have to accept that.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. The only bright lining to that cloud is that you have time to say goodbye and let her know how much you love her. I didn't have that luxury with my mom. :(

I'm glad your relationship is going well. It is nice to have some support when you are sad.

(((HUG)))
Jane

The worst part is that I'm more worried about that my ow doesn't think I'm a wuss for going to her for emotional support. I don't get it, mom and me were never that close but she'll be gone soon and I just have to accept that.

My problem with my OW is that I get addictited. the more I see her the more I want to see her.

Another problem is that I get all my advice on women from this:http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove/archive21.html Read some of this crap, he says that you have to be a challange or she'll walk all over you. But does it apply to this kind of relationship?

Oh my, not again!

Don't go there, Striker. :( They have strange ideas over there.

HAHAAH You know about it already that's funny Maria

Funny?

Not really my idea of funny site... so did you like it?

It tells me to go against everything I feel.

1. It tells you to make the woman chase you.

2.Never show any emotions until at least 6 months into the relationship

3. Be constantly unavailable and be a challange

4. If she says let's take it slow first or let's be friends for a while it means she has no interest in you and you should move on

5. Never say i love You until after a year and a half .

He has this thing caled "The System" that's supposed to work but I don't want to go against my feelings.

addiction can be a good thing, if you get what you need from it instead of sinking into a dung hole....

Yours seems to be the first... but despite the fact that you haven't connected with you OW, don't neglect the fact that even if you aren't close with your mother, this is your last chance to connect.... take advantage of that no matter what your OW and you go through... you need to connect before she dies or you will live the rest of your life regretting that.

and DROP THAT OTHER SITE!!!

OK I just went there and read the titles and I can tell you that this man thinks that men and women are combatants Not equals, not real humans, not partners.... just two people playing some sort of game...THIS IS NOT LOVE.

PUKE PUKE PUKE PUKE.... and HURL.

yeah I'm just afraid I freaked out with the sex talk....

How about leaving some flowers for her tommorow night when she comes back for Orlando, no note, just some flowers sitting on her doorstep for no reason other because I want to..?

I'm really worries that all of the sex talk freaked her out, so maybe the flowers will be good, does that sound like a good idea?

No, I ended up going out with my friends and had a good time, so no worries there. I just want to do a cute little joke with her that goes like this, (I get pretty creative sometimes).

She loves the color purple and she loves the drink Dr.Pepper, so what I was going to do was leave a single purple flower inside an empty Dr.Pepper bottle filled with water outside for when she comes home. How funny would that be?

It's no big deal, I'll talk to her tommorow when I know for sure she'll be home. She's not mad or anything, it's cool. But why do you say "I dunno about that one". Is there something wrong with a cute funny little gift like that?

I think Raven means that you should know better, since you know the woman and her tastes.

But what she mentions, and I agree with her, is that someone is dying, and it is a bit shocking that you worry more about what little gift to do to your girlfriend and discuss more about it, than about your mother, and such a terrible situation.

I feel a kind of coldness from you regarding this horrible thing that is happening to your own mother, and that makes me feel bad, even worried about you and your apparent lack of emotion (apparently because I just know what I read of course). I have problems with my father, too, but when he got his two strokes, I worried about him and was very much afraid that he would die while we were still angry.

What do you think?

The thing with my mother I'll deal with in my own way and I'm really not up for discussing it just yet until I know more details about what is going on, it's out of my hands and it really hasn't hit me yet. I'm terrified but I am also concerned. There is a treatment available that she's going to go to give it a shot so i'm optimistic.

The only reason i keep asking about the gift thing is because I thought it would be cute and funny and I'm getting mixed replies regarding it and I'm unsure of myself.

Well, I'm happy to know that there's a chance and that you are optimistic. It sounds better now than your other post. When you are ready to talk, we'll be here for you.

As for the gift, who would get angry with a flower in front of their doors? I wouldn't! :)

My problem with my OW is that I get addictited. the more I see her the more I want to see

Is she YOUR OW? Is she just your friend? What does she think she is?

I went back and read some of your posts and they are very confusing. Just a few weeks ago, you post here that she doesn't want to see you and you are so depressed you can't hardly manage, you're quitting your job to save face and your parents threw you out. Now you're back like three weeks later and "everything" is wonderful between you, but I'm not sure what everything is? It's hard to give advice when you don't understand the context, you know?

Also, you show up at her house, wait for her by her car, call her alot at home and at work. Leave notes and presents but don't give them in person. And like everybody else said, you're really worried about making an impression on her and not your mom. And maybe you creeped her out with talking about sex because your relationship is nowhere near that point, maybe?

I dunno, anybody else here confused and ummm a little weireded out?

Originally posted by striker81
It tells me to go against everything I feel.

1. It tells you to make the woman chase you.

2.Never show any emotions until at least 6 months into the relationship

3. Be constantly unavailable and be a challange

4. If she says let's take it slow first or let's be friends for a while it means she has no interest in you and you should move on

5. Never say i love You until after a year and a half .

He has this thing caled "The System" that's supposed to work but I don't want to go against my feelings.
Sorry to hear about your mother, Striker.

Who would you rather take relationship advice from: men who spend waaaay too much time on a site like askmen.com, or from women? You're better off listening to your own feelings.

1. I do not chase men.
2. I was once involved with a cold fish like that for 5 years. Now, I would have RUN long before the 6 months was up if the guy showed no emotion.
3. I get fed up too quickly; "unavailable" = "goodbye".
4. If I am interested in a guy, the only way it's going to go anywhere is slowly.
5. If a guy took a yr and a half to tell me he loved me, I would have assumed that he just thought of me as a friend for about a yr -- and would have already changed my expectations accordingly.

Great "system". :rolleyes:

Man, you sure are mean to me bubbleee.

"Also, you show up at her house"
I've only done this three times in two months and twice she was expecting me.

, "wait for her by her car',
I was thinking of it, but I never did it

" call her alot at home and at work.'
I call her at home yes, but not at work because we work in the same place

"Leave notes and presents but don't give them in person'

Yeah, so they'd be a suprise

The sex stuff was very much in a fun and playful way and she laughed the whole time, so I don't think she was offended because she talked about it too.

Yes, we went through a rough spot but we got past it. We are somewhere between regular friends and dating but in some ways we act like we are together but not "officially". We don't really need to put labels on these things. We enjoy each others company very much.

This whole thing has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me so maybe my posts did seem a bit odd from time to time but I seem to have a clearer understanding on where to head with this and how to handle it.

Damn, talk about your odd situations....

Apparatley her parents took her daughter to Disney World and she was going to drive up there today to spend the day with them and was going to drive back tonight. But when I came by yesterday her car was there but she never answered the door. I tried calling her later but no pick up. So I just went out with my friends. I pass by her house on the way home from work (she lives in one of those houses visible from the highway)and her car was still there. So I tried giving her a call once on her cell and once on her home but she didn't pick up. So damn, I'm guesing that she must have went to Orlando with her parents in their car. She kept telling me Sunday to give her a call so I've been trying but she won't pick up the phone! I don't even know if she's really home or not, so i don't want to call if she's not there. i was going to leave the Dr.Pepper at her house but i don't want to leave it there overnight where it could go bad. She wasn't upset with me or anything last time we talked, so I don't think she is ducking my calls? Sorry, this kind of stuff just drives me nuts, but I won't make a huge deal of it, she does have her own life..

Dang dude, you need to figure out what you really want.

What do you mean by that?