When being far hits you so hard

What do you do when you miss your partner and can't be with him?

That's one of the hardest things of being far. We have a plan and we know we are meeting soon, but meanwhile we have to find ways not to feel too sad or depressed. I'm strong but when it comes to missing him, I'm so easily affected, I feel sad...

Writing to him, reading, listening to music helps. I try not to concentrate on these sad feelings, it's not at all my style, and I'm willing to find new ways to resist that.

I would like to know what you all do to get better, maybe something I read here will work for me...

Maria...

Talk on the phone frequently. Webcam if you can do that... it helps too. IM whenever you can. We used to watch the same movies (like a date ;)). He and I would watch the same movies at the same time and be on the phone together while watching them.

Also... why not try playing online games together?

We talk on the phone for hours, first thing in the morning as well as the last thing before bed. We also have Webcams so we can see each other, too, and we send emails and IM's and we play our game together. Still, sometimes, you just get depressed and miss each other. So far, we seem to take turns with it so that the one who is optimistic can support the one who is depressed. We know that we are doing all that is humanly possible to get together and that it is just a matter of time, and we frequently remind each other of how lucky we are that we found one another. We already have more in spite of the distance than most people ever find, and we try to always remain very grateful for that. :)

Awww, poor Maria. Big hugs!!!

Well, I'll tell you what I do; I stop listening to Pete Murray!:D

Seriously though, I don't have much experience with this, but I find that simply remaining in the moment is a really valuable thing to do in this situation. Ok, so it's not earth shattering advice, but I think we'd all be surprised at how often we leave the moment in pursuit of happiness. When we do this it's no wonder we feel melancholy, our imagination tells us we should be happy but our eyes reveal another version of things. So there is a chasm between what is going on with us internally versus our external environment. This is where confusion sets in. We doubt ourselves. We doubt others.

I guess all we can do is enjoy what is, rather than worry about what isn't. We have to have faith that what we feel is very much real. We have to keep in mind that the person we pine for is there for us, feeling exactly what we feel. We have to understand that all that exists is the present moment; the past exists only in memory, and the future lies in the imagination. To live in the present is the only way to find true happiness, no matter what our circumstance.

Gandhi once said "There is more to life than increasing it's speed". The moment we live in right now contains for us the same potential to be happy and the same infinite beauty as any other moment we may experience in our minds. The difference is, this moment is real. We can enjoy all that we have envisaged by simply seeing what is. Though we can't touch our partner or hold them close when in an LDR, we can still find that same connection through letting the 2 souls meet right here and now. In doing this I think you can find all the tenderness and joy you wish for. So, give yourself the moment Maria, you deserve it, and we're all here to help you.:)

Once again Roberto... you are so deep.

For me I like to concentrate on how wonderful it is to have someone in the world that I actually MISS. As opposed to being totally alone in the world. I know it hurts. Not minimalizing that. But to know there is someone in the world that is also yearning for you.

Somewhere out there

Beneath the pale moonlight

Someone's thinking of me

And loving me tonight



~Somewhere out there

Someone's saying' a prayer

That we'll find one another

In that big somewhere out

there



And even though I know

How very far apart we are

It helps to think we might be wishing

On the same bright star



And when the night wind

Starts to sing a lonesome lullaby

It helps to think we're sleeping

Underneath the same big sky



Somewhere out there

If love can see us through

Then we'll be together

Somewhere out there

Out where dreams come true



Interlude (Instrumental)



And even though I know

How very far apart we are

It helps to think we might be wishing

on the same bright star



And when the night wind

Starts to sing a lonesome lullaby

It helps to think we're sleeping

Underneath the same big sky



~Somewhere out there

If love can see us through

Then we'll be together

Somewhere out there

Out where dreams come true...

It is so hard, I know. The only thing that keeps me from going
totally off the deep end (mine lives 3000 miles away :( )
Is staying busy...when I feel myself getting low I ring up one of my friends and just say come on over and get me out of here!!
Even if it is just going to the pictures or to the park...
Sometimes I will use the "low" moments to reflect on how much my ym means to me and how lucky I am to have someone
(no matter how far away) that loves me so much. Or sometimes
I just come to this board and know that I am not alone in my challenges in dealing with a LDR. You are never alone with this.
The inspiration that you give us here on this board is such a gift. As my 84 year old mum says every time I get down "this too shall pass"

Lots of love...Joi

with me and baddreamer this can be a bit tough at times as we can be overwhelmed by the distance.
with us at time frustration can give way to emotion and at times even space.
we try to communictae of the phone and via e-mails and even on the computer but even that can be difficult as even phone burnout can be an issue.
what so hard as when we are in pain or transition and not being able to be physicaly thier
we try to keep things fresh and ballenced
and realize that the prize is worth the waite
its only time.
chris

I know what you mean. My ym and I are far apart as well (one more year till he's in grad school), but I think it helps that we've made a plan and talked about what kind of future we want to build -- and what each of us has to do to make our shared dream come true. I know he needs to work hard so he can get into the best grad school he can so that he can become a professor, and I need to follow my dream of becoming a published author. We encourage and support each other in our endeavours -- and even if we don't last as a couple, at least we'll have each stayed faithful to the dream and bettered ourselves because of it.

It helps that we've given each other tasks to do and a goal to work toward. We feel connected when we can report our progress to one another. (And it doesn't hurt that we're on IM every night, either.) ;)

We do miss each other, but at least we're not getting the helpless feeling that we're just enduring the days until we can be together again. Being able to work toward a shared goal keeps our spirits up and gives us hope, even though we have to be apart. It's a tangible way of keeping faith with each other, and forging our future despite distance.

(And I'll stop now before I start waxing poetic...) :rolleyes:

if you want great big wonderful things to happen, they are well worth the wait...me and chris keep our eyes on the prize...we talk every single day and night.It is hard, but then again, we are at least on the same continent, only two states away..but sometimes, there is no time to be lonely as often as we spek.That's a good thing:) I am grateful to the devotion we both have together, we grow stronger as we have so much time invested in our beautiful relationship.We leave no mysteries as to day to day, what we are feeling..we do however, have our crazy times, when all that we truly need is a hug from the other, and we can't do that by phone, but we manage through talking on the phone, ways to console the other in times of need...remember, communication is key..without it, you don't have much. Trust, hope , and faith are crucial..and also, a plan that you both will stick to and look foward to, helps with keeping the enthusiasium up...can I comment on Roberto?? he is an old soul trying to heed us, and his thoughts are magnificent! thanks Berto!
peace

How timely of you to post this thread, Maria. I have been having a very hard day today as the reality of what I left behind in Romania is haunting me.

I am 5500 miles away from Remi. He doesn't own his own PC anymore, so has to rely on icafes to talk to me. Thankfully, he now has a cell phone, so we can talk from time to time, but the connection is not the best in the part of the country where he lives.

So, we are lucky if we talk online once or twice a week and then for only an hour or two each time. :(

Before we met, it was much easier because I was more worried about whether he would feel the same way in person and wasn't in such a rush to be with him. Now, that we have met face to face and realize that we do indeed love each other, being apart is MUCH more difficult. Quite frankly, I am not sure how well I am going to hold on.

I hope that all the friends who have supported me the past 10 months will continue to be there for me. And, I can vent to them whenever I am feeling down. That always helps lift my spirits more than anything. I'd rather whine to them than to whine to Remi. I feel that when I do that, I discourage him. I mean we DO talk about how we feel about it.. and always offer each other support. However, I try not to discuss this with him too often as I think it is a depressing topic and I'd rather be focused as much on the positive as I can when I am fortunate enough to be talking to him.

So, how do I cope? So far, through my friends. Going forward, I have told Remi that I need a firm schedule on when we will talk by phone. Hearing his voice calms me. Otherwise, all we do is talk, talk, talk online. We focus on what we want from our relationship. That's about all we can do for now.

Thank God for Qwest free long distance! We're on the phone all the time! We talk, we watch movies together, listen to music together, discuss our future. . .right now it's especially hard because money is tight on both ends (hence the reason I'm doing a few extra wrangling jobs) and while we'd like to see each other, the money for travel just isn't there. It's so hard to say goodbye to him sometimes. He feels the same way. Yesterday was so sweet, I've been really busy the past few days and we were catching up on everything, he literally wore his headset down to the car and drove off, we talked until the signal died. lol

Distance can be really frustrating, especially when you know what steps you want to take for a future together. We just try to take each day as it comes and look forward to the moments where we can be in the same place at the same time.

Qwest is a telephone company. I use MCI, but I have the same deal. They offer special plans that allow you to call anywhere in the US at any time and talk for as long as you want for a flat fee per month. I pay 49.99 per month for example for US coverage. Now here is the exciting part for you... you can add a different country to your plan and do the same thing! I pay an additional 3.99 per month and include Canada. I believe you can do the same with England.

Yep, Qwest is a phone company. I don't know if they go that far south Kel, you can check them out though, www.qwest.com. I pay 20.00 a month for free long distance anywhere in the country and another 25.00 a month for my DSL through them. I know they have international plans, I'm just not sure how much they are - I think they range at about what Marcy is paying. Btw, Mrs. H, check your email!! :D

500 Minute PrePaid Calling Cards at Wal-Mart...for about 25 dollars...

Came in very handy...

At least, I thought it did...

Seriously though, depending upon who I was with...we would spend hours talking on the phone. And those cards, made it very cheap to do so. Of course, calling over sea's eats 'em up quicker...but, it's still pretty good as long as you don't use 'em on a pay phone...

Calling on a pay phone, each time you dial, is an automatic 9 unit deduction...

~Dan

living in the moment is actually what we do also, i am not sure where roberto got that concept, but it is also biblical, it goes on the say that the past is gone and only God knows the future so live every moment to the fullest. and to further expand it is only the present we control, so we can make it glorious, when Adam was trying to convince me i should take him seriously that was actually one of his winning arguments, and the second part to his conception of living in the moment was that if we make every moment great, why would guarantee somewhat our tomorrows.... he is very deep for such a young man.

sometimes because i am in a long distance relationship i feel like we are slipping away, and i ask Adam if we are ok, and he always asks the same thing, are YOU ok? and we get to talking..... when i think of the road ahead of us i get overwhelmed, it is comforting that i am not the only military fiance out there and many more make the same sacrafice.

when i am at my lowest and grumpy and just pretty horrible, he stays so calm and is such a strong presence, i must say honestly without his faith in us we would never make it, i lean on that. we stay very straight with eachother, which is my dream relationship anyway, we know where we stand. I so admire his strength and he thinks i am superwoman sometimes, but we are not really strong as much as alike, fundamentally we are so very similiar.

the relationship is worth holding on to, i worry about a million things but not like i used to since i became a Christian, if it is God's plan and i believe it is then nothing can keep us apart, just an ocean temporarily and the US army but not forever. so, i am in process of redecorating the whole house and working like crazy and doing as much as i can....to keep busy and plan for the next time we see eachother.

Thank you all who have been writing posts to me. I read them during the night, and they made me feel so much better! And hopeful! The date ideas, the phone calls, the goals. Thank you!

Originally posted by Roberto
...We doubt ourselves. We doubt others.

I guess all we can do is enjoy what is, rather than worry about what isn't.

The moment we live in right now contains for us the same potential to be happy and the same infinite beauty as any other moment we may experience in our minds. The difference is, this moment is real.

So, give yourself the moment Maria, you deserve it, and we're all here to help you.:)


Originally posted by Swan

Somewhere out there

Beneath the pale moonlight

Someone's thinking of me

And loving me tonight


Roberto, you wise man! You are right, you and Swan said it all, I am so grateful I found someone strong like Jason, and determined to get there, he never shows any doubts and says he'll do all he needs in the shortest time possible to move in with me and have babies and beagles. :) Yes, I should capture the moment when he tells me these things because that's when I feel happiness. But I concentrate so much in what I will have that I forget what I have. And worse, often I want things at that moment that I know I can't have: a hug, a kiss, his presence close to me. And in the song Swan posted, there's the answer. He's out there, alive in this right moment, loving me. I adored the lyrics- what song is that?

Joi, when I posted this thread I knew I would be flooded with hope, because there are so many other couples in this situation! We are not alone, you are right, and I thank Ageless for that. As Chris said, he and Yvette concentrate on the prize at the end of this road, and that's what you all do here, you tell me to think of Jason. He's my prize.

Being able to work toward a shared goal keeps our spirits up and gives us hope
Yes, ScarletHawke, Jason is also finishing his studies, and he's talented. He has gone twice before to college until he found determination enough to go ahead with his dream. He works hard everyday (he has a real job) and then goes to college, and still finds time to come chat with me everyday. I give lots of importance to a degree, knowing that I owe my own independence to it. Our first talks were about his studies, and it's out of question that he gives up, I'm sure in future he would regret it and so would I.

We use the webcam (I bought it just for us, I didn't have one) and I send him cards and emails. I also call sometimes, but we don't have these wonderful cards you have over there... Jason will have to find them!

Whiterose, my sweet friend, our timing is so the same. Different stories, but so similar roads! You need even more of that faith than I do, because you don't have so many chances to talk to Remi. Now, he doesn't have anything keeping him from joining you except the visa, so work on that quickly! You'll be together soon. When time comes Jason will also need a visa to Brazil, we'll see if they are easier on foreigners there than the US.

Molly, Marcy and Kelley, the calling cards! Tru had told me about them, I'm coming to the US soon and I'll have time to look for them. So can I buy them online? Can I recharge them online? Do you girls know the rates for Europe? I have to find those because I'm such a baby, I do need to hear his voice. I'll be visiting that site which link Kelley posted and I'll study it!

Finally, Kittylane, why is it that the men are so much stronger and determined than we are? I'm not saying I'm not determined, I am, but I am also more fragile when it comes to facing daily "low" moments. I have faith in us, it's just that I am afraid all this sadness will turn me into a whining witch, and the last thing I want is to change from the woman he fell in love with, always smiling and happy about life. And I am happy ! And as he always says, "Baby, I'm not going anywhere". It's just my baby side that wants what it wants in the moment it wants! :rolleyes: Well, it's more than that. It's Love and Love is such a powerful magnet. It pulls me to his direction, and I have a hard time not jumping into the first plane. If only we didnt have frontiers and transportation were free...

Life is beautiful! Only it was so much more beautiful when we were in each other's arms! :)

what you have to say is always nothing short of completely AMAZING!!

::sign:::

When I was in a LDR keeping in contact was difficult, to say the least, as a lot of the time he was aboard boat, on cruise (he was an USN Officer, Naval Aviator) There were several things that helped a lot, like talking whenever we could via phone or IM or email...........

One thing I found helped me a lot was to make him small gifts and send them to him..... I found that the very act of making something just for him helped me through some of the lonelest days an nights......... He always said that the very fact I had put that much time an thought into each one made them more precious then anything else he owned........ The things I made were simple, for example I composed an American/English dictionary, using a small notebook and my 'readable' handwriting! I made him Easter Eggs, by hand ....... I collected tiny seashells from my local beach an sent them in a decorated box .....Took photographs of the silly everyday stuff to send him ...... I designed an knitted an Aran sweater (ok, so that one is not so simple).........

I know it seems a simple idea, but I found it really helped ............. and I know that even all these years after we split up, he still carries a necklet I made him in the lining of his Flight Jacket

Maria (((((muitos abraços))))))

Im very sorry and I know how you feel as I am in this same situation! :(
You know it has been such a long time since I dont see D, my heart is just breaking without him and his little girl...
I basically dont do anything special, I try to get extremely busy with work and IMing that when I get home I dont have time to think about missing them, just going to bed and waiting for another day to come......suffering will be when I move there and leave my family, friends and career behind *sigh* Oh well..this is the price we pay to be with the ones we love.

Se vc precisar conversar, estamos aí :)

Beijos
Karoline

*H* maria..it is very difficult. the first meeting, the first leaving. i was a basket case 2 months afterwards...doubting EVERYTHING, but still knowing we'd reach our goal. at times there was no consoling me... like you, i wanted what i wanted when i wanted it and that was the moment. and i could not have it...

so what did i do...worked, walked miles, called friends. but most importantly...listened to my man. listened to how much he wanted, missed me. discussed the how and whens. made plans... thoughts create the reality.

some days nothing seemed to work... and those days i "allowed" my pain. it was, still is real. but maria, and katrina... stay focused on the goal. the dream comes true... we have seen that, we are living it

http://musicjli.tripod.com/somewhereoutthere.html

Maria, this link will allow you to hear that song.

It's BEAUTIFUL... from a cartoon actually, An American Tale

It is sung by Linda Ronstand and James Ingram

Oh, but I know this song!!! :) I had never paid attention to its lyrics! You know... foreigners! ;) It's a much more beautiful song now that I know what it says... thank you, Swan.

Karolina, obrigada. I know what you are going through, and I'm here for you, too. Brazilian women are romantic silly creatures... :p leaving a beautiful country and a united family behind to be with the man you love... I know what it is.

In my case, Jason will be leaving his country and we've talked a lot about it. We'll make sure to go back as often as possible, and if for some reason I'm too busy to go, he'll go alone because I know how important it is; going back to Brazil is something that has kept me sain all these years, I just need to be in touch with my roots. And to tell you the truth, living in rich countries where you never see a homeless person in the street ~not the case of the US, but surely the case of Japan and Luxembourg~ makes us lose the touch with reality sometimes. Some people worry more about having the last BMW model than about what is real happiness. :(

Shewolf, Kelley, I like the idea of sending gifts and also the idea of the pictures! He has never seen my house, only a bit with the webcam! I have sent him a box once and also cards, but since I came back from London, I'm kind of paralised. It's time to move! :) I think I could write him some poem... ;) that will keep me busy, I just hope I won't scare him away? :)

I'm feeling so much better today. Christina, I'm being strong! I'm focused! It's good to share this with you.

I'm listening to that song I got from Swan, and I'm already thinking of my poem. You are such good people! Obrigada! Thank you... :) http://www.palermoviejo.com/palermoviejo/gifs/amistad-amor/lovlie17.gif

Kelley, I did the same thing with the moon, only I wasn't able to call Remi and look at it at the exact same moment. But, I always tell him to look up at the moon and think of me as I will be looking at it also.

The other thing that I did for him was that I sent him a lock of my hair before we met so that he'd have part of me to keep near him. Of course, that didn't last long when he left it in his coat pocket and threw it in the washing machine!! :D

About men being stronger than us.... I learned in Romania that sometimes this is a front. Remi always acts so confident about us and is the one to reassure old worry wart me. But, I learned in person that he has insecurities, too. It's just that he tries to be strong for me.

You are such a lovely lady Raven!! :)

Raven, in no way those were just mere words. It's about friendship and care, and I really feel good when I read this. Thank you so much! :)

You know, Maria...I feel like you are right here with me.
I see your smile and hear your giggles!

We are some 8000 miles away, but I was just with you! You left SUCH a positive, glowing impact on me...to meet a woman such as yourself gives me hope in friendship.
I don't gather friends easily....YOU are my friend!

You are such a strong lady, Mademoiselle ;), I know you will pull through.
The interview will go just fine.
You will be with jason, very soon.

We are not in a race, embrace your time in Luxembourg -- they could be your last days living in this region of the world! What do you like to do best there?

I suspect that you have been kept busy for the most part since you met Jason IRL, and now is a quiet time where you find yourself alone....but it is a different time than being alone was before you met Jason.
Now you have a love, and a focus.
Smile with that. Smile big, sweet girl. Wear pink! Bask in the new sunlight and flowers that spring brings. :p

You'll be great. You are a ray of light, so bright that your warm glow no doubt rises Jason with warmth on his cheek each day.

Don't fret sweetie. You are sooo loved. (((kissesmaria))) ;)

Kerri, we were really together. I just read your post on COE's thread and I thought, oh she's so beautiful, how come Theo doesn't say it more often (some men just don't!).

There's a special connection created when you meet someone. May I dare to say, we meet someone because there's a connection that was there before, an intention behind each encounter?

You are so right about enjoying Luxembourg right now. I will miss this tiny country. I'll miss its silent streets, the bucholic view I have from my bedroom window, I'll miss the castles and the cleanness (it's almot immaculate!) and the incredibly comfortable buses. I will greatly miss the village sauna, where every Thursday we can go only among women (other days are mixed! :eek: ) and enjoy the nice smell of wood and eukalypt (sp?) leaves and pay almost nothing for it. I'll miss the winters, the snow. You are right, I have to enjoy this place while I'm still here.

It's funny how we know exactly if we'll like a person before meeting them. I don't want to sound like I'm just answering you in the same way you wrote to me, it's really my honest feeling, I loved the moments we spent together. You are so easy to be with, I didn't have to worry whether any possible mistake I could make in English, a wrong expression (I once referred to a rooster as a **** in a very important meeting and am blushing to this day), would offend you in any way, I knew you would just ask me what I meant! :D You have an open mind and I felt relaxed around you.

You can tell I didn't take that natural medication you gave me? :p I'm so bad!!!

...you are so awake...so funny...
well, I guess I knew you wouldn't take it, but I don't think it expires for quite some time, so maybe you can save it for NH?!

When I find myself staying up so late for insomnia, it's a funny thing, but I am always comforted by the first light of day, and it is then I can sleep. So strange...

rockabye and goodnight Maria...I'll be writing you more :D

i think the reason we become so vulnerable is because we finally found a relationship that we can become vulnerable in, and men when they really love a woman change also, its just not us that blossum.

why we feel this way i think is because it is so rare that a relationship is really about love, we think and make ourselves believe it is love, and that is why the walls always stay up.

off the topic, i have a sort of friend/carpenter redoing much work in my house, he knows Adam... for some reason i told him i loved living with Adam, and that my ex had horrible bathroom habits so much so, i asked Adam to use the guest bathroom until I found out if i could deal with another man..... our friend said, "YOU DID WHAT!" I would have told you to get over it.... mind you it is my home but that is another issue. I told my friend that Adam said he understood and he didnt want to remind me of the ex and it was no problem at all...... he is lovely.... he is truly lovely.... funny enough i accept him totally, but i dare say one in a million men would have done that, he does things like that all the bloody time and i am totally disarmed and so vulnerable, i just want to kiss him forever and jump on him. by the way he is dream to share a bedroom with and a bathroom. HAPPY DAY!!

one reason i stay true is because of the bathroom incident and also the reaction of my friend. when it works it works, and our men love us. we are just used to men like my friend who have sound practical advice and very little heart. (PS my friend is quite handsome but clueless to what wins a womans heart, unselfish love will get me everytime.)

"why we feel this way i think is because it is so rare that a relationship is really about love, we think and make ourselves believe it is love, and that is why the walls always stay up."


i have been trying to explain that to myself and others for so long, you said it so simply. isn't it so wonderful to finally have the relationship, that most only dream about.
as for your "bathroom" incident... for the first time in my life, i too, have found a man who would do anything for me. and to be quite honest, i just at times don't know how to react to it. i have never experienced it before.

i feel so blessed... in my relationship, in finding the wonderful support here to get me through the LD. thank you...

What a wonderful place it is here with all this support!:)

Maria, the word is eucalypt...but only because you asked.:D It is native to Australia aswell and it has a smell that is ubiquitously Aussie. I've met people who move away from here that have actually returned because they miss the smell of the humble Australian eucalyptus trees (Gum trees). I can't believe they have that smell over in Luxembourg also...if this doesn't prove that things (especially love) can transcend borders and are common throughout all lands, than I don't know what does.

"Hugs" mais grandes a você meu amiga bonita. Você merece toda a felicidade que o mundo tem que dar. Pode você ser envolvido nestes pensamentos mornos para sempre.

ciao.:)

I can't say anything about a long distance relationship but I never have been in one before. I was going to skip this post but I was moved by everyone's sincerity. Relationships are hard, period. To carry it on it on over a vast distance and time it must be so much more difficult than have someone close. I really do admire you guys in some ways, not quite sure if I could do it. Yea, live for one day at a time and don't worry about the future. It will come and the pass will not come again. So definately enjoy the moment...

Kitty, what you say about being vulnerable because we can be vulnerable is so true. In my previous relationship I had to strong all the time because he was so fragile. If I had been myself and cried every time I felt like crying, we wouldn't have last two years and a half.

With Jason I know I can be fragile, he's there to catch me if I fall. He's like a comfortable nest. Missing him this weekend was very hard, because for one moment I couldn't concentrate on those thoughts of "how lucky I am' to have met him.

Grizzly, I used to say I wouldn't be able either. Ask Kelley... ;) But sometimes the idea of being with someone who makes you feel so wonderful is stronger than the fear of the distance. Love is often a kind of insanity.

Some people say, why did you have to look for someone so far, can't you find anyone close to you? Well, no, I can't find him close to me, he's in New Hampshire! Duhhhh! It's not like I looked for him in the first place, we met like any other couple, only we met here, online! And then we met face to face... now I only want to be with this man, not any man, but this man because he's incredible and it will be great to share my life with him.

I should be writing that poem, but I'm so hungry (good sign) I went to buy some steaks and I'll be a carnivore tonight. :D :D

Hi Maria,

Count me in as one of those who feels the stress and strain and loneliness of a LDR. Phil is currently living several hundred miles East of me, a few states away. The good news is he'll be here in about 60 days or so for GOOD!! OMG, I can't wait. The bad news is that 60 days is starting to feel like 60 years, lol. It's been such a long time it seems.

Funny thing but my office is in a high rise tower and it faces to the east. And in my field of vision from this huge window I have here is a river and some hills and I can see the eastern horizon. And if I feel lonely for him, I look to the eastern horizon and I send him as much love and good wishes as I can. And like you and Jason, I KNOW he's on the other side of that horizon loving me. It's small comfort gazing to that horizon in search of his light, and sending him love, but it's comfort to me all the same.

There are days when I wake up and I don't know if I can do this anymore but I do, for what else can I do? I'm struggling with the closer it gets the further it seems phenomena. I'm hanging in there the best I can, and I know all of you in similar circumstances are doing the same. Sigh.....

Hugs to you all!
Bubs

I'm having a very rough time tonight with the distance between Remi and me. For the first time since I got home, I watched a video I made of us while I was there. It was wonderful to see him again, but yet very difficult at the same time. I cannot touch him, kiss him, or smell him (I know that sounds weird, but he smells so good).

It's going to be a long hard road ahead of me waiting to see him again. I spent time earlier today talking to friends, like christina923, about this. It helps me so much to know how others feel.

But, right now, I am about as low as I have ever been regarding this distance. It's Easter weekend and holidays away from Remi are so hard for me. :(

Originally posted by whiterose
[ I cannot touch him, kiss him, or smell him (I know that sounds weird, but he smells so good).

But, right now, I am about as low as I have ever been regarding this distance. It's Easter weekend and holidays away from Remi are so hard for me. :( [/B]

Hang in there Whiterose....Can you call him? I can understand the smell thing...My p*** OW would use this shampoo that I would love to smell. She is shorter than me, and when I held her close I could smell her hair. It drove me nuts! I bought the shampoo that she used, I would use it to help remember her when she was not close. Can you find whatever Remi uses to smell good and keep it near?:)

Thanks Grizz... I can't call him this weekend because he left his cell phone at his mother's house and they have travelled to where his brother lives because his brother was in an accident a couple of days ago. :( But, I expect that he will contact me as soon as the icafe's open on Monday, if not sooner. But, I am trying not to call as often anyway. I made alot of international calls on my cell phone while in Romania and I dread that phone bill!

I don't know if I can find the cologne he uses here, but I am going to look for it as it will help me feel closer to him, I am sure.

Thanks again for thinking of me. :)

Oh btw, interesting what you said about your OW's shampoo.... I left my shampoo that I used in Romania for Remi to have and use and think of me when he returned home.

This thread is lovely, and I am so glad Maria started it. Not so many years ago, we would not have had the opportunity to even see many relationships like these...people falling in love despite being separated by thousands of miles and overcoming it.

Reading this thread made me realize how lucky I am to be able to have my loved one with me...and to roll over in the morning and find him lying next to me, all the little things I take for granted and shouldn't.

I hope and pray the day comes soon when you will be together with your loved ones forever..and what a glorious day that will be.