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Thread: What's Your Love Language?

  1. #1
    pinkunicorn's Avatar
    pinkunicorn is offline Senior Member
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    What's Your Love Language?

    I am big on personality traits and figuring out what makes people tick (I swear I should have majored in psychology or sociology rather than speech!) and I thought this was kinda neat. There are 5 different "Love Languages". Which one is yours?

    Mine is words of Affirmation, followed closely by Touch and Quality Time (Touch and Quality time both had the same score). What is cool is, my OM scored the same, so it's easy for me to show him I love him, and vice versa. We are constantly sending cute little texts to one another (and a few racy ones, too) or leaving little notes and cards here and there for one another. When we are together we are always touching or holding hands, and when we are apart we miss each other terribly.

    My ex husband is Acts of Service, which I scored a 1 on! He also is not big on talking about things, especially feelings, which I need, and he was never very cuddly. This kinda explains why, during our divorce, he kept saying "I worked hard to provide for my family and give you a good lifestyle. What more do you want?" So while he may have loved me and tried to show me by being a good provider and trying to take care of me, I didn't feel it from him. And while I may have loved him at one point, I didn't show it to him by keeping the house clean and stuff like that.

    What about you? What is your Love Language, and is it compatible with your significant other?
    Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.


  2. #2
    pinkunicorn's Avatar
    pinkunicorn is offline Senior Member
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    Aw crap, I forgot the link to the quiz! Sorry for the "Polish moment."

    http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/
    Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.


  3. #3
    springwind Guest
    6 Words of Affirmation
    7 Quality Time
    1 Receiving Gifts
    4 Acts of Service
    12 Physical Touch

    Now that you know your love language, here’s some more information you might not have realized about it, and why certain behaviors affect you more than others.
    Your Love Language
    Physical Touch

    A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.


    This was mine and really no surprise there seeing how i was raised by a "touchy, feel" type IE Mom.

  4. #4
    Mebel's Avatar
    Mebel is offline OWYM AG 29 yrs
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    This was fun to do!!

    My love language personal profile rapport is: ---------- And the five languages of apology for me are;

    7 for words of affirmation --------------------------- 7 for expressing regret
    7 for quality time ----------------------------------- 5 for accepting responsibility
    4 for receiving gifts --------------------------------- 7 for making restitution
    4 for acts of service -------------------------------- 1 for genuinely repenting
    8 for physical touch --------------------------------- 0 for requesting apology or forgiveness
    Last edited by Mebel; 04-09-2011 at 04:17 PM.

  5. #5
    pinkunicorn's Avatar
    pinkunicorn is offline Senior Member
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    Here is my full one:

    10 Words of Affirmation
    8 Quality Time
    3 Receiving Gifts
    1 Acts of Service
    8 Physical Touch
    Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.


  6. #6
    misskrm's Avatar
    misskrm is offline Member
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    Here is mine, no surprises really. I can't wait for Zac to do it when he gets home from work.

    Your Scores
    7 Words of Affirmation
    9 Quality Time
    0 Receiving Gifts
    4 Acts of Service
    10 Physical Touch

  7. #7
    Angel's Avatar
    Angel is offline Anger Thrives In A Fool
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    My husband & I did this a long time ago and if I recall correctly he was "Quality Time" and I was "Acts of Service". It has helped the way we communicate tremendously by just remembering what each other values. I try to spend more time doing stuff with him that he enjoys and he tries to remember to put that toilet seat down.
    there before the threshold, I saw a brighter world beyond myself

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  8. #8
    Bellydancer's Avatar
    Bellydancer is offline Live your dreams!
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    3 Words of Affirmation
    9 Quality Time
    3 Receiving Gifts
    3 Acts of Service
    12 Physical Touch

    No suprises there!
    Keep true, never be ashamed of doing right. Decide on what you think is right and stick to it.

    - T.S. Eliot

  9. #9
    Heshy Guest
    4 Words of Affirmation
    8 Quality Time
    2 Receiving Gifts
    7 Acts of Service
    9 Physical Touch

    That was fun

  10. #10
    Mannequin Guest
    3 Words of Affirmation
    11 Quality Time
    4 Receiving Gifts
    6 Acts of Service
    6 Physical Touch

    The low score on words of affirmation kind of surprised me, but then again when I really think about it I can't say that it's completely wrong.

  11. #11
    Perspective is offline Neophyte
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    I'm sorry to say but I think that's all bs. If you know what you have then you know, my woman is more to me than a bunch of ******* statistics. She is my prime directive, I know you feel me on that, you're the same man I am.

  12. #12
    Heshy Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Perspective View Post
    I'm sorry to say but I think that's all bs. If you know what you have then you know, my woman is more to me than a bunch of ******* statistics. She is my prime directive, I know you feel me on that, you're the same man I am.
    It's not statistics, it's psychology. If you actually took the test you'd find it awards points based on how you respond to scenarios.

    And it is not even relevant to how much your woman means to you, it is an analysis of your psycho-communication tendencies and how best to realise them in relationships. Different people communicate verbally and non verbally in different ways, and each person has their own needs that need to be fulfilled in different ways to other's needs.

  13. #13
    pinkunicorn's Avatar
    pinkunicorn is offline Senior Member
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    Heshy's right. It's definitely psychology and sociology, not statistics. Statistics are something like "80% of women like to receive gifts from their men."

    This is how people relate to one another. I would suggest you take this test and have your woman take it, too. Your relationship can be so much better if you know your partner's love language and try to "speak" it.

    I'm the kind of girl who loves to be told she's beautiful. I love how often my OM tells me he loves me and how he tells me he feels like the luckiest guy in the world. I love it when he comes up behind me and puts his arms around me and pulls me close. My love language is Affirmation, and Touch/Guality Time rate pretty high on my list, too.

    My ex never did that. My ex didn't think he needed to do all those things because his love language was Acts of Service. He thought that by going to work and working hard to provide for me and his family he was showing us how much he loved us. All I saw was a guy who was gone all the time, never touched me, and never told me he loved me. To him my wanting to talk all the time was me being "needy for reassurance." To him, my not keeping the house to his standards (as in, spotless and something you'd see in Martha Stewart's magazines) showed that I didn't care about him. Never mind that I worked 40+ hours a week and had 2 small kids to take care of, too...

    Well, it didn't help that he was also controlling, emotionally abusive, etc.

    If you truly love your woman, learn her love language. If her love language is Gifts. Buy her flowers, or a cute card, or something like that a few times a month, or even every time you go see her, even if YOU think flowers and gifts like that are stupid. She will love you for it.

    Learn your love language so you can tell her what she needs to do for you. If your language is Quality Time, she needs to spend as much time as she can with you, doing "couple-y" stuff, even if she would rather chill on the couch and watch Glee.

    Early on in relationships, our brains and bodies are flooded with hormones and stuff so things like Love Languages are easily overlooked. You are both so busy putting your best foot forward trying to decide how much you actually like each other during this period. It's later on in the relationship, as you two start to fall into a routine, that these languages become important.

    Loving a woman isn't so difficult. If you want to keep your woman happy in the long run, it's not hard--speak her love language. And let her know yours so she can return the favor.
    Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.


  14. #14
    VenusDarkStar Guest
    OK, that was fun...here's mine...

    Love Language Scores:

    7 Words of Affirmation
    7 Quality Time
    1 Receiving Gifts
    3 Acts of Service
    12 Physical Touch

    I was brought up in a very "touchy feely" kind of family...always lots of hugs & kisses, so I'm not surprised that touch is more important to me than gifts, and that a well placed kiss holds more value than a spoken affirmation. I've always been more of a giver, so while it gives me a secret pleasure to buy little presents for my loved ones, I'll take a hug any day over a fancy gift. Not that I don't appreciate things like flowers...but he could pick them from a field and I wouldn't care. In the end, nothing says "I love you" more than a kiss.

    P.S. I sent the link to Mark to fill out in his rare spare time. hehe


  15. #15
    Mebel's Avatar
    Mebel is offline OWYM AG 29 yrs
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    Kevindh told me a score, I do not know it exactly but i remember he had 12 points for physical touch!
    So Dear if... you read this! share with us your whole rapport!

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