Today we went to my uncle's viewing.
My 82 year old uncle passed away Wednesday of congestive heart failure. From the moment they met nearly 2 years ago, he and my SO were fast friends. They spent nearly every Saturday and most Wednesday evenings since together, on the flight simulator, building RC planes out it in my uncle's shop, cleaning said shop, flying planes, crashing planes, putting planes back together, cussing planes, shopping for planes...and when they weren't doing that, they were talking about planes.
The grumpy guy was with my uncle when he died. My aunt had just stepped out of the room with her eldest son. The grumpy guy and the grumpy guy's younger son were with my uncle. They called the nurse, my aunt and my cousin back into the room. The nurse verified my uncle had died, and then my uncle's pacemaker began trying to do its job. The grumpy guy took my aunt out of the room, and my cousin stayed with my uncle. I hear it wasn't very pretty, and I'm glad I wasn't there.
When I saw him in the hospital on Tuesday after work, when I first entered the room I thought there were two beds and began looking for my uncle. Then I realized there was only one bed in the room, and the man I didn't recognize was my uncle.
My uncle's body is to be cremated and his funeral is Monday. I'm glad I attended the viewing; now I can remember him looking like he could wake up any moment and give us fits, instead of as he was in the hospital.
It's been a tough week.
This past Monday was the grumpy guy's first chemo treatment. It took 6 hrs 40 min. He drove himself home, and shouldn't have.
He wasn't able to drive Tuesday, and had to hang out here at the house until the FedEx with one of his post-treatment medications arrived. He wasn't able to visit my uncle at the hospital until I finished work and was free to drive him over; by then, my uncle was heavily medicated and unconscious. He had become agitated that afternoon; about an hour before we arrived, it had been necessary to place him on pain management and anti-anxiety medication.
On Wednesday, he was able to drive himself. He spent half an hour or so with my aunt and uncle before my uncle died. The grumpy guy has read 20 Minutes in Heaven and several other accounts of the experiences of those who've died and then come back. One thing the accounts have in common is that the person who died was aware of what was going on in the room, almost as an observer. I told the grumpy guy that my uncle chose his moment--he knew my aunt had left the room with my cousin, he knew the grumpy guy was with him, and he knew he wasn't alone.
We went to my aunt's this evening, to hang out with cousins I haven't seen in 20 years or more...and their children, and grandchildren, many of whom I haven't met til now.
MM
"Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson
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