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Thread: my man and his broken leg (saga of the stuborn man)

  1. #1
    Harp girl's Avatar
    Harp girl is offline Member
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    my man and his broken leg (saga of the stuborn man)

    So on Thursday I had planned to drive to D's place (my OMs), walk my dog, have an early dinner and then go into the school to teach an evening student. When I dropped off the food I had prepared into the fridge I noticed his lunch smoothie still out on the counter top. Strange. I stuck it in the fridge.

    I started walking and then remembered I had turned off my phone for my morning classes, turned it on and found the text message. "Re, sorry to say I slipped while doing the garden work. At the hospital now to set a small break near my ankle. Be home around 4.00." I called him. He was just getting a light weight cast put on. We agree that I will pick him up at the hospital in about an hour.

    Jamie had to be walked, I walk him. 35 minutes later D calls that he is finished and is starting to walk home. WTF? No. STAY. Well, he wants to see how much he can do on it, so he is walking. I run back to my car and start driving.

    I miss him twice on the maze of Oslo's one way streets before I finally catch him almost a mile from the hospital. He's hobbling around, very happy because he can move, it doesn't hurt too much, and so he thinks he'll be alright to head out on the holiday in France that he's been planning with his son for the last six months. I get him home, watch him turn grey going up the stairs to his apartment and get him laying down. Now the story, weed whacking on a hill, slipped at a strange angle and couldn't roll because of the machine. So his tibia broke, near the ankle. He passed out for a short while and his neighbors called an ambulance.

    When I help him get undressed I pull off his shirt and find 13 of those little monitor devices all over his chest.
    "What happened?" I ask flatly.
    In his perfect British deadpan he tells me, "Oh, my heart stopped once or twice in the ambulance." I sit down on the floor, fast. "NO, no no. I just passed out again in the ambulance and they monitored my vitals."
    "Well, at least this has no effect on your humor."

    Long story short: I didn't give him much input to decide to go or not. I did tell him to arrange a wheel chair at the airport, I did offer to take care of him for the week should he choose to stay, but I didn't tell him to stay. He soon found that he had been running on adrenaline for the hike across town and that his leg HURT. I did Reiki on him, it felt better. Perhaps I shouldn't have, then he would have known the pain he would be against.

    After talking to his son about it, son agreed to help out D. as he needed help and they would make a go of it.

    So yesterday, Friday, I dropped them off at the airport, watched son stride out and then stop after thirty seconds, realizing that D. was still at the car crutching along uncertainly. I knew I would beg him to stay if I didn't drive, so I left.

    D. promised to call me when they got settled in Paris. They've been there for a day, I haven't heard a thing. This is the first time in my life I have asked someone to contact me during a trip. I shall never ask again because it is horrible wondering why he can't write a simple text message.

    So that's my drama. I am cleaning up a storm today, trying not to let that wonderful imagination of mine think of D at all.
    mskitty, MissMuffins and Redhead like this.

  2. #2
    mskitty Guest
    Sounds like you had a bit of drama there but only for you.... isn't it amazing how some men will just tough it out and make a drastic ordeal seem like a walk in the park,,, like it was nothing .. and continue down the path they started out on.. leaving us reeling with a shock reaction to the situation...... sry you had to deal with this right before they left on vacation. You reacted the same as I would .. only more calmly
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  3. #3
    Azureth is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by mskitty View Post
    Sounds like you had a bit of drama there but only for you.... isn't it amazing how some men will just tough it out and make a drastic ordeal seem like a walk in the park,,, like it was nothing .. and continue down the path they started out on.. leaving us reeling with a shock reaction to the situation...... sry you had to deal with this right before they left on vacation. You reacted the same as I would .. only more calmly
    LOL not me. If I had that kind of an injury I'd want to be taken to the Hospital and given all kinds of pain meds.
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  4. #4
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    I think you did the right thing on all fronts. You didn't try to talk him out of his trip, and you let him deal with it. Keep letting him deal with it, until/unless his behavior indicates that you need to intervene.

    I've had three breaks to my left foot & ankle--two required multiple surgeries and time in fiberglass casts. One required an air cast; if it had been 20 or 30 years ago, they probably would have written it off as a bad sprain and sent me home in an elastic bandage. He'll live. The question is: how much of a PITA will he be in the meantime, as he tests his boundaries?

    As much as you'd like to have him there with you so you can take care of him and not worry, you're really better off with a week of peace and quiet rather than dealing with an injured man while he wraps his head around the reality of the situation. Don't poke the bear!

    MM
    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

  5. #5
    Redhead's Avatar
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    I sympathize with you being worried, and I admire your OM for his humor.
    As hard as it may sound, TRY not to be worried. I am SURE his silence has nothing to do with his health. I have done an awful lot of traveling abroad, and I know that there are so many things that can distract my attention or capture my enthusiasm that I am grateful when I do not have to contact anybody at home. (Now of course I am not trying to compare that to your situation - you have a SO - I do not).

    You were so brave and did so great NOT to tell him not to go. That was exactly the right thing.

    Overall it was a bit amusing to read the story, though, because it shows me that some phenomenons (not counting the exceptions) are international. In Germany we also make jokes that if a man has a running nose, he will call his dear ones to his bedside and write up his last will, but if his leg gets almost ripped off and there is a stream of blood coming out, and he turns chalk-white in the face, he will say"do not worry honey -it is nothing".
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  6. #6
    Harp girl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redhead View Post
    Overall it was a bit amusing to read the story, though, because it shows me that some phenomenons (not counting the exceptions) are international. In Germany we also make jokes that if a man has a running nose, he will call his dear ones to his bedside and write up his last will, but if his leg gets almost ripped off and there is a stream of blood coming out, and he turns chalk-white in the face, he will say"do not worry honey -it is nothing".
    Oh Redhead, I miss that German quality so much! LOL. Really. I have a German student in the middle of all those Norwegians and he does things so ... German It makes me realize how much I miss it after living there ten years.

    My man came back in one piece, tired, a bit sore, but really happy he went with his son.

    The Doctor looked at his leg, declared it healing well. Now D. it talking about cutting the cast off because it itches so much. *sigh* At least he has to see the Dr. again next week so it would be a bit obvious if it was cut.

  7. #7
    Redhead's Avatar
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    I am glad it went well and he came home safely.
    If you had said he should not go, it would only have sparked his rebellion. LOL

  8. #8
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Wow, what an ordeal. And how strong your man is. I am glad he is doing much better.
    Redhead likes this.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  9. #9
    MissMuffins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redhead View Post
    In Germany we also make jokes that if a man has a running nose, he will call his dear ones to his bedside and write up his last will, but if his leg gets almost ripped off and there is a stream of blood coming out, and he turns chalk-white in the face, he will say"do not worry honey -it is nothing".
    I had to laugh, because that is so like some people I know.....not that I'll name any names...

    have I ever mentioned that the grumpy guy's last name is Stimmel and my mother's maiden name was Hess?

    MM
    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

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