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Thread: How does a 32 year old woman show genuine interest in a 45 year old colleague

  1. #1
    MissyM Guest

    How does a 32 year old woman show genuine interest in a 45 year old colleague

    He's so handsome and such a lovely man, one of the nicest men I have ever met. I've only spoken to him briefly and over the past few weeks I noticed him staring a lot at me, then recently I started to smile and look back myself, and chat a little. He responded well but then recently he's been suddenly looking and then when I look up and see him he quickly looks away, when he walks past me he smiles and quickly looks down. All I want is for him to know me and to spend time with him. We both work in same office part time nowhere near each other so only see each other in passing. He's divorced and has two sons and single I have been told. What do I do here? Please help. Does he suddenly hate me? I haven't done anything?!x

  2. #2
    MissMuffins's Avatar
    MissMuffins is offline Senior Member
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    You show interest in a 45 y/o male colleague the same way you'd show interest in a 35 y/o male colleague.

    I'd be more apprehensive about showing interest in someone who works for the same employer than the 12 year difference in your ages. If it's a temp job and you're not looking to get on as a full-time permanent employee, and you work in different departments, and there's no chance he'll have input on your performance evaluations and vice-a-verse-a, I wouldn't worry about the "same employer" thing, either.

    Sounds like you're both enjoying a little flirtation; introduce yourself and see what goes from there. That's the only way you'll know for sure whether he has clammy hands or something else equally off-putting. Then again, maybe he's your Mr. Right!

    Welcome aboard,

    MM
    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

  3. #3
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    thatoneperson is offline Senior Member
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    Ask him out for a cup of coffee. The worst thing he can do is say no.

  4. #4
    trolleycar's Avatar
    trolleycar is offline I still play with trains
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    Hi MissyM
    I would say find some reason to talk to him even if it just the weather. or ask him does he know how to get to some location. and if he starts to talk you then. I would tell that his is good looking or dome thing along those lines.
    A little flattery never hart. say something along the Line you heard that he is say 30 YO and when he tells you that he is 45 you come back with boy you sure do not look 45. This works well it did with me. Also he may be shy all men are not of the type believe they are god gift to women kind. And if you two start to talk near the end of the work day do what thatoneperson Said Ask him out for a cup of coffee. The worst thing he can do is say no . The way I would do It I would say I have such a good time talking to you let me buy you a cup of coffee and we can keep talking some more.
    And I bet he will take you up on the cup coffee. I also believe that god has put one in your case a guy on earth for you . And this is the time for you two to meet. That is how I feel that by girl friend met so many things had to fall in place for as to meet and if any one of that had not happened we would never have met.
    mskitty likes this.

  5. #5
    mskitty's Avatar
    mskitty is offline Member
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    he has lost confidence thru the divorce and you would need to ask him for coffee... he looks away because he fears rejection and wonders "why would a beautiful YOUNG woman be interested in an old man with two kids"
    pinkunicorn likes this.

  6. #6
    pinkunicorn's Avatar
    pinkunicorn is offline Senior Member
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    If all you've been doing is exchanging gazes, step it up a notch and talk to the guy. Say hi. Ask him how his day's going. Start a friendship and see where it goes from there.

    Good luck!
    theREALTrish and mskitty like this.
    Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.


  7. #7
    MissyM Guest
    Thanks so so much everyone!

    I need to chat more definitely and I will keep doing that and gauge his reaction, its hard because from past rejections my brain is saying 'don't be daft he'd never want me he can do better' then my heart is saying I want him! I need to shift my negative thoughts and realise he'd be lucky to have me, my friends say I'm kind, attractive, smart, funny and caring and I'm the first they come to when they're down. All I want is to show this and the negative thoughts make me inhibited and none of these dam qualities show!!!
    My friends did also say that I appear very confident and to a man could appear unintentionally forward so perhaps I need to just step back and be a little shy and let him see that?

    Any advice on how to handle going forward considering this would be appreciated! Xx
    Mebel likes this.

  8. #8
    mskitty's Avatar
    mskitty is offline Member
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    Just be your wonderful self dear....if it works and there is some MAGIC , which it seems like at least on your side there is , then it will happen...reminds me of a very old song lyric... Fools rush in where Angels fear to tread...just give him a wink and a big smile...the twinkle will tell...

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