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Thread: Older men flirting with younger women

  1. #1
    M&M's Avatar
    M&M
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    Older men flirting with younger women

    Are the so called "signs" of interest and flirting the same or do some guys, because of the age gap, get more worried and unsure and just act friendly? is there any sure fire way to know if a older guy is interested versus just being a nice older guy? just curious because most of the articles online about guys flirting and such are aimed and younger folk.

  2. #2
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    fiorinda is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by M&M View Post
    is there any sure fire way to know if a older guy is interested versus just being a nice older guy?
    Yes - ask! Or at least initiate a situation where a 'romantic encounter' is a possible or even likely outcome, and see what happens/what they say/what they do. Every man, just like every woman, is different. So generalisations about flirting style aren't very useful. If you have a particular man in mind, ask him out for a coffee or something else equally innocent first. If he goes, and you both have fun and get on, then ask him to do something a little more 'datey' (if he doesn't ask you first). If he's just being friendly, he'll probably decline. Don't sit around waiting for him to make the first move and wondering if he likes you - this is the 21st Century!
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  3. #3
    MissyM Guest
    I'm having a funny situation at the moment with an older man at work. There's incredible chemistry between us and I catch him staring lots plus I did actually ask him for coffee he said yes. BUT he's such a gentleman I don't know if he thought I meant it just as friends but surely he can't be that daft! Gentlemen don't want to come off as Percy so you have to initiate at first and don't have any regrets. X
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissyM View Post
    I'm having a funny situation at the moment with an older man at work. There's incredible chemistry between us and I catch him staring lots plus I did actually ask him for coffee he said yes. BUT he's such a gentleman I don't know if he thought I meant it just as friends but surely he can't be that daft! Gentlemen don't want to come off as Percy so you have to initiate at first and don't have any regrets. X
    i am so shy though and scared to freak him out, things are going well with us. i am just gonna assume we are only friends and not be a fool of myself.... however i was merely asking to ask. since i am clueless about flirting etc, was just reading articles and thought some of it seemed a bit weird for a older man to do if he was trying to get a younger woman. i am glad your guy said yes... the few times i have asked him to do stuff, granted, it was with my dogs and other people around, he said no or never showed.... so ya i doubt he likes me, as i said but best of luck to you

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    fiorinda's Avatar
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    Still think you should ask him to go for a coffee or lunch or something, M&M. People do these things with friends all the time, but it would certainly be a way of at least establishing if he sees you as just a neighbour, or as an actual friend.
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    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    The signs of interest are the same, and actually older men are a bit more proactive about their interests, because they come from a time when women were more passive, and men had to do all the wooing at first.
    I think that he may not be that interested because when men are interested they do not mind if there are other people around, or dogs.
    In my experience, older men, unless they are way, way older, do not mind the prospect of dating a woman who is up to 20 years younger. Quite the opposite.
    Maybe you should just enjoy his friendship.

    Or maybe I am talking from a Latin perspective, because here men are not normally shy.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by SheLikesKitties View Post
    I think that he may not be that interested because when men are interested they do not mind if there are other people around, or dogs.
    Like I said, I know he doesn't like me. Regardless of how I "feel" about it sometimes etc, realistically, it is highly unlikely. However he is very loner-ish.... but still. I honestly don't even think he sees me as a friend, but I'd rather just keep things as is, than be an idiot and lose him and make things way awkward. Luckily, I am used to not having a guy in my life, so its no big thing.

    As for the person suggesting I ask him out, haha, ya unless its to the zoo, its not gonna happen, Asking for coffee, or dinner, he will instantly assume date and everything will be messed up. At least we are on really good terms, so I am happy

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    LivingMoment is offline Neophyte
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    When I started getting to know my OM he was such a kind and shy gentleman that I never thought anything would actually come of it. One of the things I love the most about him though is that he is completely blunt and to the point. I am so glad that he just flat out asked me out to dinner and we hit it off and never really quit talking. The best thing I can say is you never quite know what could happen. There could be some great interest that just hasn't surfaced yet if he hasn't said anything.

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    My OM and I were great friends before we became a couple. I had a huge crush on him but figured nothing would come of it and I was content with being his friend/roommate.

    But then...

    I remember we went out on a motorcycle ride with the HOG club. We went to a diner that we all liked in a town about 45 minutes away. Since there was a group of about 12 of us, we had to wait for a table. While we were waiting, I was standing in the corner talking to some of the other lady riders. My OM was sitting across the foyer chatting with a few of the guys. I happened to glance over and caught him looking at me with that look. The look said "she is the most beautiful person in the room." The look said that everyone else in the whole place had disappeared except for me.The look said "I would love to find out what she's like in bed!"

    When I caught him looking at me like that, outwardly I smiled at him. Inwardly, I thought to myself, "I just might have a chance with this guy!"

    So later on, I asked him to take me to lunch sometime. He took me up on that offer, and I made sure to flirt with him a lot, told him I liked him, etc. Even though he did take me to a Thai restaurant and I don't like spicy food! At the time, I mentioned something about not wanting a relationship (I didn't at the time) but I was interested in being friends with benefits. And I kissed him.

    I understand it's a bit further than what most people would do on a first date, but my OM and I had been best friends for about 2 years prior to that, so we knew each other pretty well by then!

    But if I hadn't caught him giving me "that look," I wouldn't have done anything.

    BTW, he still gives me "that look" all the time!
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