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Thread: My om doesn't want to get rid of anything old. Help

  1. #1
    lovemytwins's Avatar
    lovemytwins is offline Senior Member
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    My om doesn't want to get rid of anything old. Help

    We had an argument this morning because my OM does not want to throw his old shirt with food stain away. We are travelling, moving in a few days to another country. I am an efficient packer, I can travel for months on 5 pair of clothing and two pairs of shoes and I teach the kids to do the same. My OM is spending a lot of money in shipping his old clothes, shoes, etc back to the US. I am so frustrated. I can't buy him anything because there is no room for new things. He collects everything and it is driving me nuts.
    I am looking for advice how to deal with this issue.
    When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.

  2. #2
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    My son is like your husband. And Nick is too, to a certain point. They will not throw away anything. It is a very difficult issue to resolve, luckily it is not a major problem (like .cheating or alcoholism). If you make unilateral decisions about his clothes it will be disrespectful... they are his property. So, stop buying him anything new. Try to appeal to his better nature and see if he can donate to goodwill (this does NOT work with my son, so good luck with that). In the case of Nick, he is willing to donate clothes if he knows the person so I donate his stuff to our neighboor in the mountains or to a cousin of mine in the country. My son will not donate, period.

    Once you are settled, you can put old and stained stuff away in a box and put it in the attic or a closet with a date on the box. After a year, you could tell him, hey we have had this box for a year, and you have not used this, can we donate it?

    Also, you can demote the worst items to rags, he may donate you some t-shirts if he knows you need them for rags.

    Having said this, pick your battles wisely, mild hoarding is not that bad, to put things in perspective, there are worse things like domestic violence, drug addiction or horrible temper.

    PS. I am assuming this stuff is fit to be donated. If it is torn or unusable, it may just have to be cut up into rags for use around the house.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  3. #3
    MissMuffins's Avatar
    MissMuffins is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by lovemytwins View Post
    We had an argument this morning because my OM does not want to throw his old shirt with food stain away. We are travelling, moving in a few days to another country. I am an efficient packer, I can travel for months on 5 pair of clothing and two pairs of shoes and I teach the kids to do the same. My OM is spending a lot of money in shipping his old clothes, shoes, etc back to the US. I am so frustrated. I can't buy him anything because there is no room for new things. He collects everything and it is driving me nuts.
    I am looking for advice how to deal with this issue.
    Accept that he chooses to throw away nothing. It's part of who he is.

    Buy him new things, ship them home and enjoy the remainder of your trip!

    MM
    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

  4. #4
    gorillagirl Guest
    when you get to the USA, have him watch a few episodes of "hoarders."

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