AgeMatch.com - the best dating site for inter-generational lovers!  

Results 1 to 9 of 9
Like Tree5Likes
  • 1 Post By Sweetie28
  • 2 Post By degausser
  • 2 Post By SummerBob

Thread: people are rough

  1. #1
    kittyloki is offline Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    40

    people are rough

    So I use to post here but it has been a while. Here is a little info if you don't know me. I'm 27 married to 63 year old. We have a 7 year old together. We've been together for about 10 years. I live in a small town and it is hard to be in this kind of relationship. I lost every friend I had 10 years ago. I ended up dropping out of high school because of it.

    My husband ask why I don't trust people. I don't trust people because I've seen their true nature. I'm a stay at home mom so I spend a lot of time volunteering. I'm a girl scout leader, I volunteer at my daughter's school, work at our library from time to time, and I'm on the PTO. I can tell people don't like me and I've caught people talking behind my back about me.

    My daughter use to be a cheer leader through a private business. I was glad when she wanted to stop going after two years because the other mothers didn't like me.

    It's so hard to go out and face the world ever day.
    Last edited by SheLikesKitties; 10-18-2014 at 11:06 PM. Reason: Removing age reference.

  2. #2
    kilny's Avatar
    kilny is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    In the sticks
    Posts
    248
    Sorry this has happened to you. People will gossip no matter what. If there isn't anything, some will make up something.

    I also live in a very small town. Try to remember that this is their problem and not yours. Don't let them get to you. I know it's hard, but it's worth the effort to ignore them. Most of the worst gossipers have much that they don't want people to know about them and are trying to keep the finger pointing to someone else.

    Keep your head up and a smile on your face. It's none of their business what your age gap is. Don't let your daughter or yourself pay for other peoples ignorance.

    ~HUGS~

    My worst experience was at a grocery store. The clerk was older than me. We were having the groceries delivered as we have no car there. She looked at me and gave me a nasty look. She then said, 'We do free delivery to older people.' I looked at her and smiled. I said, " great! would you like to see my ID?" That left her speechless. Needless to say, I didn't pay for the delivery. I didn't, and still don't, qualify as a 'Senior' anywhere else I went. She was just being nosy and nasty.
    Life is short, Live it with all your heart, love and passion.

  3. #3
    Sweetie28's Avatar
    Sweetie28 is offline Mark's girl
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    442
    I'm sorry it's been so rough on you. Yes, some people are judgmental about things, but it's not just age gap relationships. It's just society in general. You'll find age gap relationships and marriages are more common than you think even if a lot of society doesn't want to think so. Don't give up there are good people who will understand. All that matters is that you and your hubby and daughter are happy together and love each other. Love is a hard thing to find so its precious. Keep your chin up and we understand a lot of what you're going through!
    kilny likes this.



  4. #4
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Panama
    Posts
    4,095
    Are you sure is it you they do not like, or your specific situation?
    Do you have any friends? Concentrate on making one friend, you do not need to be friends with the whole town, but having one or two friends helps.
    Keep your head up, and come here often, we are here to support you.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  5. #5
    kittyloki is offline Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    40
    The only 'friends' I have are through my church. My best friend is an old friend of my husbands and she is in an age gap relationship.

    I started getting aggressively teased for this. I got called everything from a 'gold digger' to a 'sugar baby'. I hide away from the world for a long time.

    I know people are upset by the fact my husband is much older. I remember one night a cheer leading a woman mentioned to another 'who is that creepy old guy?'

    There was only one older man in the gym and that was my husband. I began to get very angry and said
    'That man happens to be my husband'.

    After that they wouldn't talk to me.

    It makes me sad that people react that way.

    I have 4 grown step children. 2 of which won't even talk to me.

    I know I shouldn't let it get to me but that is a very hard thing.
    Last edited by SheLikesKitties; 10-19-2014 at 01:19 AM.

  6. #6
    kilny's Avatar
    kilny is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    In the sticks
    Posts
    248
    I know it's hard. Friends do come in all sizes and ages. I have older friends that could be my Mother, some young that could be my child and some my age. They all have a place in my life. They can be from church or anywhere. I don't see them often, but I still am friends with them. When I lost my Mother, I found out just who were my true friends. Sometimes we find friends in very unexpected places. Try taking a fun class at a shop or through an adult education place.

    Is there some activity that you would love to pursue? Painting, quilting, sewing, beading,etc. You could find some like minded people that you enjoy being around. It is also good to have a bit of time doing something you enjoy.

    Sometimes if people see how happy you are, they will come around. Hang in there.
    Life is short, Live it with all your heart, love and passion.

  7. #7
    Sweetie28's Avatar
    Sweetie28 is offline Mark's girl
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    442
    It can be hard. I still get comments because my husband drives me to work "Is that your Dad?". My Mom has accepted (not really happy with but accepted) our age gap. The thing is you have to have a thick skin. Who cares what age you both are? He's not creepy (I hate when the old stereotypes rear their ugly heads "goldigger" or saying pedophile (that's someone who preys on kids). I would say see if you can find some age gap friends. A lot more people are around in age gaps than most people like to think. It used to be the norm for an OM to be married to a YM often the man being twenty or so years older. It's only recently that this "same age" thing has become a big deal. If you need to talk feel free to talk with me (I saw your other thread and understand that to)



  8. #8
    degausser is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    531
    Did you ever get your GED? If not, you should think about it. If you did, why not take some college courses that interest you (or even non-credit)? You should pursue interests of your own. There are plenty of people in the world who will accept you and your family just as you are, but your chances of finding them will increase if you pursue your own interests or hobbies. I think the environments that you're in are limiting. Plus those environments are known for being gossipy and cliquey, which is apparently true in your case.

    As SLK said, you donít need the whole town to be your friend. But if you pursue some of your interests, youíre bound to meet people you click with who wonít judge you based on your marriage.

    Think about some of your interests or things youíve always wanted to try. Take a class, join a club. Itíll be good for you to do something thatís just for you, and youíll meet people with similar interests.

  9. #9
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    1,322
    Take heart and don't worry what a few ignorant, narrow-minded people say about you. The world is a far bigger place than their small circle.

    As a teen/young adult I was far behind the achievement curve and a very late bloomer. As such; fear, anxiety and worry about age-gaps became a big thing for me early in life. I can say, from my observation, that people in general talk far more openly about age gaps today than they did 10, 20 or 30 years ago. Also, there are more forums and other outlets that cater to your needs than there used to be, at least in the "on-line" world.

    So, even if it doesn't look like it sometimes, the world is moving in the right direction. People are waking up and realizing that the unique needs of individuals are more important than casting everyone into a mold called "normal".
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •