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Thread: 52 and 21 - 4 months on

  1. #1
    Biggles is offline Neophyte
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    52 and 21 - 4 months on

    Yes I know this is a serious age gap! Her Mom isn't too pleased about her dating me - I get that. Everyone else seems fine with it. Even still, I've made it very clear to her that I don't want to be the reason for any family conflict. I think this is where she may have her doubts about us. Anyway we keep the communication lines wide open.

    I'm wondering if there's a serious shortage of eligible, decent men her age out there. I've asked my girl why she's chose to be with me. She says she prefers an older guy. She said it's about the experience, and the stability; 'you're the only guy I've dated who's ever opened a door for me', she said. And let me just say that she's fiercely independent. She refuses to accept money from me, or let me buy her things, other than on birthdays or special occasions.

    I give her a lot of room to do her own thing. I encourage her work hard, study hard, and spend time with her friends. I often tell her that her friends are important. She asks me about my ex-wife, past girlfriends and about my work. Despite feeling a little awkward at times, our sex life is great. She often initiates sex, which is really flattering. She's says she's never had anyone so patient, and considerate in bed. Anyway, for now, we're both having a wonderful time together. We learn a lot with each other, and we both have a good sense of humour about it all.

  2. #2
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    I wish you the best in your relationship. All relationships start with "monthversaries", when they can't celebrate anniversaries yet. If she is strong enough to resist her family opposition, you two will get the chance to celebrate many anniversaries.

    Most AGRs create some sort of opposition if not from family, from friends, but when there is love, that will not matter. Honestly, I rather have a partner that encourages me to fight for our relationship, than to tell me that he wants no problems, because that means that there is also commitment on his part, meaning that if I am willing to fight, he has to be willing to commit. In other words, if he is not willing to commit, he may think that fighting with family is not worth it.

    Biggles likes this.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  3. #3
    NY10's Avatar
    NY10 is offline Senior Member
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    First let me start by saying you sound like a great respectful man.

    I am in a 21 year age gap. I am 27 my boyfriend is 48. We have been together for four years now and in the beginning it was a little hard for my family and his to really wrap their heads around. I will say though that once they saw us together and how happy we made each other all those "thoughts" and "fears" went away very fast. Our friends never batted an eye. They always said we are just made for each other.

    He is the oldest man I have been with and I am his youngest. It wasn't our ages that brought us together. For me, I was in a crappy relationship with someone close to my age and he was horrible to me. I had NO idea what being treated good and loved really meant. My guy is stable, has a great job, is the type of man you dream of and I'm not just saying that because he is mine.

    He is funny but serious, smart but easy going, handy with tools and fixing things, sensitive and romantic, manly but not arrogant. He puts me first and treats me like a queen. Supports me in anything and everything I do and even when I am at my worst he hangs in there with me. I am not bashing YM in anyway but it's hard to find a young these days who are focused, serious and are ready for a quite life and settling down. I am not into the bars and clubs. I am not into casual relationships and it seems that most younger men are all about that. As far as education and career not a lot of 20 something year olds are where they really want to be in life these days. It's hard out there with the economy and finding a good job and it's hard to get stable. For me I have always been more of an old should and find it much easier to talk to and relate to someone older than me than I find it to talk to someone close to my age. I just don't have interest in todays music, movies, TV shows and whatever else they are interested in.

    If your girlfriend is the one interested and she isn't going anywhere then I say enjoy it. You both are lucky to have each other and I'm sure her family will come around.
    Biggles likes this.

  4. #4
    annt is offline Neophyte
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    Give it time and communicate

    I think all age gap relationships are different (but OW/YM). I am also in a (huge, as some say) age gap relationship and it still work fantastic after a 1˝ year and almost a year as a ‘public’ couple. We have very little issues withy family, but some with particular my friends.
    All the best for both of you.

  5. #5
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    I think it's a testament to your strength that you've withstood trials and adversity and come through with your relationship stronger than ever. Remember that the best car manufacturers put their cars through the toughest tests, to validate that the cars they ship to the dealers are top notch. A big age gap is a perfect way to test your relationship, and to know that you have the "stuff" to make it last and make your love shine.

    What does it prove if everybody gives you a pat on the back the day you introduce yourselves? Maybe you're strong, and maybe you're not. But when the first real test comes, which it always will, can you overcome it?
    Biggles likes this.
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  6. #6
    EMTLove is offline Neophyte
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    26 and 50

    Hi so me and si have a very large age gap too, I know what you say about her finding good guys her age I find the same and even the half decent ones I don't get on with like me and si, I don't get on so well with my own age group I have a very high Iq and so does si, so we connect on so Meny more levels then guys my age and especially in my home town, they have no ambition or drive!
    Me and si met on our EMT training course 6 months ago, he is so lovely to me, very sweet, gentle and loving, we have so much fun together and connect Unlike I ever do with any one my age.
    Mum n dad are not best pleased with the gap but mum sees how much happier I am with si and more relaxed.so are coming round to It I think.

    Feel free to message me or get her in contact with me

  7. #7
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by EMTLove View Post
    Hi so me and si have a very large age gap too, I know what you say about her finding good guys her age I find the same and even the half decent ones I don't get on with like me and si, I don't get on so well with my own age group I have a very high Iq and so does si, so we connect on so Meny more levels then guys my age and especially in my home town, they have no ambition or drive!
    Me and si met on our EMT training course 6 months ago, he is so lovely to me, very sweet, gentle and loving, we have so much fun together and connect Unlike I ever do with any one my age.
    Mum n dad are not best pleased with the gap but mum sees how much happier I am with si and more relaxed.so are coming round to It I think.

    Feel free to message me or get her in contact with me
    More power to you! I think when people see that you and your love connect mentally and are truly compatible, they'll come around and accept the other differences. It is more important to find someone who brings you happiness than to find someone who is "socially correct". I believe your family will realize that and support you in the long run.
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  8. #8
    Sweetie28's Avatar
    Sweetie28 is offline Mark's girl
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    Me and my hubby have a similar age gap, 24 yrs he is 52 and I am 28. I have always liked older men and we met on an Internet dating site. When my Mom (I was living at home and attending college) found out was angry and my family was as well. My DH asked some of the same questions but I love him because he is kind, thoughtful, has a beautiful heart, is loyal, loves me, and is a good man. Neither of us is well off, but I didn't care because I love him for who he is. So, no worries a lot of women realize older men have a lot more to offer.



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