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Thread: "Is that your daughter?"

  1. #1
    KloroformKitten is offline Neophyte
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    "Is that your daughter?"

    Just a fun little question; Do you and your partner get confused as being a father/daughter pair?
    I talked to another woman about my age this and I found out she and her partner are different races entirely so it's obvious they're not a father/daughter duo. I wonder how you guys react or respond when people ask if you're a father/daughter duo. (Y'know, you go to a place and they ask if she's your daughter or whatever) My 'partner' and I are different races so it would be completely obvious we're a couple so I know we will (most likely) not have to deal with that scenario (thank goodness) not that I'm embarrassed. People just..are still pretty weird about age-gap relationships. (and I have social anxiety so)

    Bonus question: Is the age gap obvious? Or do you look to be around the same age?

  2. #2
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Hello and welcome, I am in the other side of the equation, older woman with younger man. We have a 21 year gap and we have been together for 10 years. Only once have I been asked if I am his mother. Not too bad.

    That one time was when he was 25 and injured in the hospital and I was concerned and caring for him. One could say that I was "mothering" him, he was helpless and vulnerable, I was strong, hence the assumption. Apart from that, I do not act like I am his mom, and we are different races.

    On the other hand, when my son and I have travelled for business, I have been asked if he is my husband. I think that the fact that he acts like the head of the family when we are together (part of the Latino culture) has a lot to do with that.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  3. #3
    fiorinda's Avatar
    fiorinda is offline Senior Member
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    Like SLK I'm the older one, my husband is 24 years younger than me and 3 years younger than my daughter. There has only ever been one occasion, that we are aware of, where I've been mistaken for his mother. His actual mother is about 5 years younger than me. However, I look much younger than I am and people tend to assume there is no more than 5 or 10 years difference between us.
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  4. #4
    MissMuffins's Avatar
    MissMuffins is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by KloroformKitten View Post
    Just a fun little question; Do you and your partner get confused as being a father/daughter pair?
    I talked to another woman about my age this and I found out she and her partner are different races entirely so it's obvious they're not a father/daughter duo. I wonder how you guys react or respond when people ask if you're a father/daughter duo. (Y'know, you go to a place and they ask if she's your daughter or whatever) My 'partner' and I are different races so it would be completely obvious we're a couple so I know we will (most likely) not have to deal with that scenario (thank goodness) not that I'm embarrassed. People just..are still pretty weird about age-gap relationships. (and I have social anxiety so)

    Bonus question: Is the age gap obvious? Or do you look to be around the same age?
    Hello and welcome!

    Lovey is 19 years my senior. When we met 6 yrs ago, I knew he was older than I and put the difference at 10--possibly 15--yrs. While we've never been mistaken for father and daughter, the difference in our ages has become more apparent. I don't attribute this to aging per se; I think his diagnosis of Stage IV metastatic colo-rectal cancer has more to do with that.

    The only real "issue" we've faced regarding the uncertainty others may have regarding the nature of our relationship due to apparent difference in our ages was while dealing with medical staff during the initial stages of his diagnosis. We've faced a few comments while in social settings; they were from women who were interested in him or men who were interested in me, and those who were attempting to be funny. According to who it was, where we were, and whether or not their stated intent was to be an anal orifice, we gave as good as we got...humorously or otherwise.

    MM
    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

  5. #5
    loveislove is offline Neophyte
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    Hey, love your post No one has approached us in that way but Im quite sure they wonder.
    It doesn't bother me at all because I love my husband without a doubt. But ppl always will have something to say . Good luck with your relationship. Thanx so much for sharing

  6. #6
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by KloroformKitten View Post
    Just a fun little question; Do you and your partner get confused as being a father/daughter pair?
    I talked to another woman about my age this and I found out she and her partner are different races entirely so it's obvious they're not a father/daughter duo. I wonder how you guys react or respond when people ask if you're a father/daughter duo. (Y'know, you go to a place and they ask if she's your daughter or whatever) My 'partner' and I are different races so it would be completely obvious we're a couple so I know we will (most likely) not have to deal with that scenario (thank goodness) not that I'm embarrassed. People just..are still pretty weird about age-gap relationships. (and I have social anxiety so)

    Bonus question: Is the age gap obvious? Or do you look to be around the same age?
    Actually, it is possible to be a father daughter pair with a racial difference. He/she could be an adopted child.

    But in reality it's none of their business. They have no right to know if you're a "couple" or not or to judge you for it. You're not breaking the law or doing anything wrong.
    SheLikesKitties and fiorinda like this.
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  7. #7
    Sweetie28's Avatar
    Sweetie28 is offline Mark's girl
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    Yes, we get this all the time. It doesn't help that I look younger than my actual age. We do have a bit of a gap so people assume he's my father and then I correct them and say "That's my husband." I never assume these days because I find nothing wrong with age gaps (between two adults).



  8. #8
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sweetie28 View Post
    Yes, we get this all the time. It doesn't help that I look younger than my actual age. We do have a bit of a gap so people assume he's my father and then I correct them and say "That's my husband." I never assume these days because I find nothing wrong with age gaps (between two adults).
    I guess it depends on how they say it. It's possible that many people innocently presume that two people who look like a father/daughter pair are that, and are probably embarrassed when they realize their mistake. In a few cases, people may say that to express their disapproval of the relationship, but I would guess it's the exception and not the rule. Especially in a public place among total strangers. People generally don't care if it's not their family.
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  9. #9
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Sometimes when you know a couple and their children and you see the man with a small child you assume it's the grandkid... Don't assume. It may be a child from a second marriage with a younger woman. It happened to me, I asked a friend of mine: Is this your grandson? Nope, it was his latest child from wife 2.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  10. #10
    Sweetie28's Avatar
    Sweetie28 is offline Mark's girl
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    I don't always correct people especially it it's in public and people I'm not likely to see again. At work, once they said "How nice your dad drops you off (I am just starting to drive a little again)." I told my co-workers, "That's my husband." I'm proud of the face he is my husband and age gaps are more common than most people realize.



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