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Thread: Happy AGR Stories: Men 18-25 Years Old

  1. #1
    Kristin's Avatar
    Kristin is offline Senior Member
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    Happy AGR Stories: Men 18-25 Years Old

    I'd like to post this thread in the Common OW/YM Questions thread for newbies to find!

    Please tell us about your happy AGR story with your younger guy 18-25 or as a younger 18-25 guy in an AGR!

    Are you married, engaged, living together or dating?

    How long have you been together?

    How old were you both when you met?

    How did you meet?

    What adversities have you faced or expect to face in the future?

    To what do you attribute your successful relationship?
    Last edited by Kristin; 04-04-2008 at 06:20 PM.

  2. #2
    Kristin's Avatar
    Kristin is offline Senior Member
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    Are you married, engaged, living together or dating?

    Married

    How long have you been together?

    Since July 2004

    How old were you both when you met?

    He was 23 & I was just shy of 37. We are 13 years & 3 months apart.

    How did you meet?

    We met a a local bar we both patronized. I was dating an older guy, but it was a bad relationship. He pursued me over a year to go out with him!

    What adversities have you faced or expect to face in the future?

    Mostly my insecurities about my weight and looking old. But he assures me that I could gain another 50 lbs and be wrinkled all over and I'll still be his soul mate and he'll never leave me and if he wasn't sure he never would have married me!

    Our families were fine with the age gap - no one really even notices it anymore or comments. So, that was cool.

    And I have always been open about it and showed it PROUDLY, so we have never been given flack to our faces. Mostly, people say, "You go, girl!" LOL!

    To what do you attribute your successful relationship?

    We are lucky, I think, because I feel the biggest hurdle with a younger guy is the whole "Will he want kids later" thing. He already had 2 children by age 23, so that wasn't an issue. However, at 39, I still ended up having a baby with him!

    I think we are successful just the same reason as any other relationship that succeeds - we were in the same place at the same time - and I don't mean the bar, LOL!

    He was ready to settle down and be with the love of his life. I wanted to find the love of my life.

    We are both very similar in personality - we just "get" each other. We are best friends. We don't take each other for granted. We love to spend time together. We work together well and compromise easily for each other. No one rules the roost - it's a team effort. We treat each other as equals and love each other very much!
    Last edited by Kristin; 04-04-2008 at 06:21 PM.

  3. #3
    Tourniquet Guest
    i posted this before but here is the condensed version:

    i saw her at the synagogue we both went to every week, we were friendly to eachother but not outwardly flirting, our synagogue has a lot of activities,groups and events you can participate in as well as being affliated with a K-8 school (which she teaches in part-time) so we ran into eachother a LOT, the more we saw eachother the more we talked and the more we talked the more we started to like eachother. at the time i was 18 she was 34

    one night we were both at an adult study group and got talking afterwards and ended up walking around, got dinner and talked a good 3-4hrs, the following saturday night the same thing happened and we ended up hanging out, ordered pizza,watched some movies and fell asleep (no sex) we began to realize just how much we loved eachother, in our community "just dating" someone is really frowned upon so we told everyone we got engaged (not a lie)

    neither of us proposed to the other specifically,in one of our long conversations marriage came up and we just kind of agreed that we were right for eachother

    we got married at 19 and 35, at that time we created MASSIVE contraversy in the community due to the age diffrence but we shrugged it off and pushed on.......

    3 years later we are still married, have a daughter and bought our first house together

    Edit To Add: Sorry Kristen, i typed all that before your second message showed up, so this one doesn't follow the Q&A format you had hoped for
    Last edited by Tourniquet; 04-04-2008 at 11:37 AM. Reason: realized something

  4. #4
    Strwbrries's Avatar
    Strwbrries is offline Today me, Tomorrow you...
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    Are you married, engaged or dating?

    Engaged, we will be married on September 05, 2008

    How long have you been together?

    Since January of 2006, but taking our getting to know each other phase November of 2005

    How old were you both when you met?


    He was 20 & I was 33. We are 13 years apart

    How did you meet?

    We met at work. We hung out in the same work group and I even though I thought he was cute I didnt approach him, I started catching him staring at me from time to time and I would look at him and raise an eyebrow and mouth "WHAT?" and he would just smile and not say anything. We finally started talking a few weeks later about of all things, the video game Halo.

    What adversities have you faced or expect to face in the future?

    In the beginning the adversity was my insecurity of what would my friends and family say? He was only 20 years old and the reactions varied from friends who expected him to be my boy toy, to my mother who dryly asked "I thought you were done changing diapers Ruby". My biggest fears then was what would HIS mother say when she found out and I made it very clear to him that if his mother disapproved then we were done, since I wasnt about to alienate him from his mother. Shockingly to me at least, she didnt have a problem with it at all and now she and I are are very close.

    Future problems for me will be my insecurity regarding aging before he does. I dont think I would have had such a problem with aging if he and I were getting old looking at the same time however, that wont be the case. I think I share a very common fear with most women in these type of relationships and that is "will he still find me attractive, when i start to look old?" "What if he gets older doesnt want to be with and older partner and would rather be with someone his own age?" He and I have discussed it and he always tells me that he loves me and that with his smoking and anglo genes he will end up aging rapidly and that we will eventually look the same age since the women in my family age "well". lol


    To what do you attribute your successful relationship?



    He and I both have similar life experiences when it comes to our childhoods and the same outlook on what is important in a relationship. We both put family first and he always tells me that I am his best friend and he is my best friend too. We have similar likes and interests and if any conflicts ever come up we always discuss them and find a mutually agreeable resolution. I have never treated him as if he is a younger partner, I have never expected less from him simply because of his age. I have always treated him as the man that I see him to be, I never act as if I know more than he does simply because he is younger, after all there are things that he knows how to do that I dont and he doesnt think less of me simply because I dont know how to change a tire or fix the sink. I also dont act as his teacher or tutor in life, I dont want him to end up seeing me as a controlling overbearing mother figure who is trying to mold him into my ideal man, instead he pretty much stumbles and makes mistakes like I did when I was his age and if he asks for advice or my perspective I give it and if he chooses a different path than what I advised then that is his to choice and if it ends up being a poor choice, I dont say I told you so, instead I usually quote GI Joe and say " Well now you know, and knowing is half the battle" which usually ends up with him giving me a dirty look.

    I guess we have a lot of humor in our relationship and that has helped with our success because we dont take everything so seriously and we just enjoy each other and our life together. Plus you really cant take life too seriously when you have a household of 5 kids, you would lose your mind if you did. lol

    a bit over 2 years together, I will be turning 36 this year and he just turned 23 yesterday and our baby will be turning 1 in 6 days...life is good.

  5. #5
    Lovaholic Guest
    Are you married, engaged or dating?

    Living together

    How long have you been together?

    One year 8 months

    How old were you both when you met?

    Him 21 Me 45 24 year age gap

    How did you meet?

    At a bon-fire on the beach. He later saved my life from a near death boating accident.

    What adversities have you faced or expect to face in the future?

    I have always beeninsecure about my looks, weight etc so that is still a factor. I was was very nervous about meetinghis Mom (53), but we have spent every holiday this year with her & things are great. My family & friends have accepted us, expect for my 20 year old daughter who still has issues.

    Future? We try not to dwell on it & live for the moment . He says he doesn't w3ant children & I can't have any more (have 4). We both are happy with our arrangement as it is.

    To what do you attribute your successful relationship?

    Me, experience & finally understanding (sometimes) how to read a man. Him, I'm not a 22 year old girl bugging him to grow up, get married, have kids & be responsible.

    Aside from that we both genuinely care for each other & have a comfort level that is rare.
    Last edited by Angel; 09-26-2008 at 01:14 PM. Reason: Fixing Quote
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  6. #6
    grumpysgirl Guest
    Are you married, engaged or dating?
    engaged

    How long have you been together?
    known each other 3 years but dating almost 2 years

    How old were you both when you met?
    he was almost 18 I was 39 and told him no LOL told him call me when your about 18 or 19 and I would think about it. He had dated a few girls one was a lil older but always thought about me for some odd reason...then at 19 I said okay we will try it

    How did you meet?
    On the game world of warcraft

    What adversities have you faced or expect to face in the future?
    OMG Well one is his parents, his dads controlling ways and crudeness, overcoming past issues and we have gone through hell and back BUT we are a strong couple and have endured a lot...made it on the top to!

    I do worry about the wrinkles that will come and having a child together as I want one SOOOOOO bad but we have several plans for that as well. He just says baby I love you your beautiful to me and I am blessed


    To what do you attribute your successful relationship
    communication, comprimising, trust, working on things together, laughing at lifes little OOPS and respecting one another. We have a lot in common and we always laugh and have a great time. We also give each other time alone as well..to have his time and my time as well has with friends. I feel truly blessed for the first time in a relationship to have such a loving and caring man

  7. #7
    minasmom Guest
    Are you married, engaged or dating?

    Living together

    How long have you been together?

    Online relationship started in February 2007, Been living together since August 2007

    How old were you both when you met?

    He was 21 & I was 38. We are 16 years & 8 months apart.

    How did you meet?

    We met in an online game (World of Warcraft). We actually “knew” each other for 2-3 years on a friend basis. It was when we were thrown into a leadership role together that we started spending a lot of time together, talking in game and eventually out, that our relationship really turned to something more than friendship. Having been in a ym/ow relationship that was going sour, I was a bit gun shy and really not taking things very seriously. He planned a trip to come visit me. I was looking at it as just friends, but he knew what he wanted. By the time he left he had gotten it (my heart) and I knew I couldn’t live without this man.

    What adversities have you faced or expect to face in the future?

    I worry about wrinkles and looking old and my body not being that of Jessica Alba. I worry about possibly not being able to have children with him. I worry about him feeling that he is missing out on something, or not being attracted to me as I get older. Of course, he reassures me in all of these areas and although he wants children too, he tells me over and over that if we are not able to have them, he would be happy with me by his side no matter what.

    His father is really the only person in our families with an issue as far as family goes, and to be honest he is an *** and would have an issue with any girl Andrew was with. I am certain that when we do get married this will become an even bigger deal, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

    My oldest daughter (16) had a big problem with the age thing at first, but now she and Andrew get along great and I think she can see that I am happy and he is good for us as a family. She respects him because he doesn't back down to her attitude.

    When I take a step back and look at all my worries, I realize these fears, and others could be those of a non-age gap relationship as well. That makes me feel a bit better. That and just remembering he loves me and I know it

    To what do you attribute your successful relationship?

    Andrew is the only person who has ever understood me-ever. Like when I do my psycho behaviors he knows why-like what in my past is making me act that way, and he understands and comforts me. Whereas I think most people would just be like, wow she’s crazy. He calms me down better than anyone and he makes me feel secure. He is eternally optimistic and luck seems to follow him wherever he goes, which is a bonus.

    He is a hard worker and wants nothing more than to provide for me and my kids and give me whatever I want. He wants to make ME happy. We have incredible passion for each other and we both want to do everything for the other. During the day I am constantly thinking “what can I do for Andrew that would make this day better for him”. I feel like he does the same for me. He is always bringing me little surprises or calling me unexpectedly to tell me he loves me.

  8. #8
    Belisama's Avatar
    Belisama is offline I love being a redhead!
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    Even though my marriage is over, I'm going to post on this thread anyway because there were positive aspects to our age gap relationship. And heck, we didn't even know at the time that we WERE an OW/VYM couple (we'd thought that term was reserved for couples where the woman was in her 30s and the man was still under 21)!


    Were you married, engaged or dating?

    we were married for nearly 3 years.


    How long had you been together?

    we were together for nearly 5 years.

    How old were you both when you met?

    21 and 37

    How did you meet?

    online

    What adversities have you faced or expect to face in the future?

    being fair, the only adversities we faced (once I got past the age gap - I felt like a perv for a while) were NOT age gap related.

    To what did you attribute your successful relationship?[/size]

    I felt that our relationship was an age gap success because neither of us expected the other to be any other age than the ages we were at the time. That's not to say that behaving inappropriately was ever acceptable but I never expected him to know more about life (and especially family life) than any other person his age and, on the flip side, he never pushed me to do things that I'd "grown out of" either.


    As most of you know, I am currently engaged to a VYM again. Why? I learned something in my five years with Tim. I learned not to look at the year a person is born to determine whether or not he is a good fit for me. I learned that I do tend to "click" better with younger men than men my own age. And I learned that that is perfectly okay - I need not apologise or make excuses to anyone for being me.

    That said, Lucent and I haven't really been together long enough to give any qualified answers for this thread yet. We've known each other for seven months, been a couple for just over four months and have been engaged for three (yes, we made that decision pretty quickly).

    I will say that we both went into this relationship with both eyes open and our feet on the ground. We really don't care about each other's age. We found ourselves looking at each other and seeing someone who has many similarities and common goals looking back. The fact that we had that old 'chemistry' didn't hurt, either.

    Anyway, I guess we'll check back in on this thread in a few years (assuming that new ones haven't been started by then *chuckle* ) so we can give our long term OW/VYM success story to everyone.
    Last edited by Belisama; 04-04-2008 at 08:02 PM. Reason: wanted the font smaller intentionally :) (intended to downplay the past relationship)

  9. #9
    Bella's Avatar
    Bella is offline Senior Member
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    Are you married, engaged or dating?

    Living together.

    How long have you been together?

    We've known each other nearly 8 years now, been together nearly 7 1/2

    How old were you both when you met?

    I was just turned 45, he was nearly 18

    How did you meet?

    We both played Ultima Online. I was going through a divorce, not pleasant, and had absolutely no social life, except online. He was a fairly new member of the guild I had belonged to for a couple of years. We both are obsessive about not being late, so we were always the first to show up for guild events, had time to chat. We started chatting out of game, and when ICQ started voice chat we tried it out. My ex showed up at my apartment, heard a man's voice, and went ballistic. Poor David had to sit 1500 miles away and listen to me being tossed around the room while he accused me of having a man hidden there. I think it awoke his protective side towards me. Not long after that, he started trying to convince me he thought we should try being together. I got all patronizing, told him it was normal to have fantasies, yada yada. He courted, pled his case, wrote, called. I was going to change my contact info, and break off contact with him. The night I was going to do that, he called me in a panic, as his childhood dog was dying. And died while he was on the phone with me. Couldn't do it then. A few days later he told me Tommy knew it was ok to go now (he was a really old dog) cause he knew David had me now, and wasn't going to be alone. He found me this place, where I realized I probably wasn't just insane. We finally decided to meet to see if this was some fantasy, or real, and the rest is history.

    What adversities have you faced or expect to face in the future?

    He lost his first job here when some nurse my age decided that there was something wrong with him for being with me, and made his life hell. He was still on probation, she'd been there over 20 years, so they let him go. I quit my job when my director made my life hell, saying that choosing to be with him called my judgement into question.
    Relationshipwise, we had one "bump", had some counseling. He was terrified of being alone someday, and had to work through the fact that falling in love with me meant that might very well happen. He finally decided that it would be stupid giving up a good thing because of what might happen someday. He's never waivered in his commitment to us since.
    Families were rough at first, but we learned a valuable lesson from our counselor. And I've preached it here often enough. Matter of factness, and blank looks when people are rude. And the response, "why do you ask?" to the question "How old IS he/she".
    The matter of factness is mostly fake it till you make it type, but honestly anymore, who cares?

    To what do you attribute your successful relationship?

    We totally "get" each other. It's a miracle to me each and every day that someone can know me as completely as he does and still actually like me. We truly are still in love. He had to teach me to accept being nurtured. I have always and ever BEEN the caretaker in relationships. It was very difficult for me to learn to let my guard down, and allow myself to be cared for. We accept each other. We fuss and get snarly with each other, but never leave the house without a kiss goodbye. We had no expectations of romance when we met, so there was never any gameplay, just being ourselves, and friends first.
    I've also made the concious decision to live for the now, and if we don't last forever, I've still had the storybook love that most women only dream of.
    We had so many strikes against us, that being together still feels like a gift.

  10. #10
    Angel's Avatar
    Angel is offline Anger Thrives In A Fool
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    Are you married, engaged, living together or dating?

    Married (09/09/09)

    How long have you been together?

    Since 2005 (Still together as of 06/2014)

    How old were you both when you met?

    18 (him) & 32 (me)

    How did you meet?

    Playing Everquest (online MMORPG; game). We ended up in a random group together and were instant friends.

    What adversities have you faced or expect to face in the future?

    Most the issues have come from my lack of self-esteem. It's an ongoing process to trust, accept, and believe in someone. He is patient and provides consistent reaffirming behavior. I have the normal fears, cheating, growing apart, and/or sickness that aren't specific to an age gap, but to relationships, in general. I do feel more vulnerable as the older partner.

    To what do you attribute your successful relationship?

    We respect each other, enjoy each other's company, and find the other's morals admirable and compatible to our own. We fight for the relationship and love each other with a passion. I admire the man he is and strives to be. When he tells me I'm beautiful, I believe him.
    Last edited by Angel; 06-06-2014 at 08:02 PM. Reason: Updating! :)
    there before the threshold, I saw a brighter world beyond myself

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  11. #11
    OHLis Guest
    Are you married, engaged, living together or dating?
    Married

    How long have you been together?

    5 and a half yrs.

    How old were you both when you met?

    21 (him) and 33 (me)

    How did you meet?

    a wedding


    What adversities have you faced or expect to face in the future?

    oh the typical ones already mentioned...insecurities and fears about if he will be able to stick it out when Im old and haggard...and if we end up being childless. He assures me he is in it for good regardless, and Ive decided it does me no good to question that.

    To what do you attribute your successful relationship?

    Constant laughter. We are continuously picking at one another in a comedic way and it is great fun. Besides that, there are many things...but mostly, he is the best guy on earth, he adores me to the enth degree...and he isnt shy one bit about expressing it to the entire universe if it will listen to his sappy *****.

  12. #12
    moniqueander Guest

    Inspiring

    My boyfriend and I have a 16 year age gap. I am 36 and he is 20, we met when he was 19 and I was 35. I am always nervous about his age because he has not had much life experience, but reading your post help me and give me confidence. Like someone else posted, we allow each other to be who we are. He doesn't try to make me be older and I don't try to make him be older. I am happy to read the success of the relationships.

  13. #13
    Ellethe's Avatar
    Ellethe is offline Ex-Marcy'd
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    It is inspiring...

    Never saw this thread so I thought I'd respond now that it has been resurrected.

    Are you married, engaged, living together or dating?

    Married

    How long have you been together?

    Since April 2003

    How old were you both when you met?

    He was 18 and I was 35.

    How did you meet?

    We met in an online game (There).

    What adversities have you faced or expect to face in the future?

    Man what didn't we have? Not only was there a huge age gap of 18 years, but we were International LDR and he was a vym of 19. I was older than him, far away from him, about 150 pounds heavier than him. Ugh yea I was freaked out. However, we got past it. He came here on a k-1 visa in Jan 2005 and we married on 2/18. He enrolled in college and is more than half-way through his undergrad degree. I had gastric bypass surgery and I now weigh less than he does (a personal goal of mine LOL). I don't expect us to face any more or less adversity then any other couple of any gap.

    To what do you attribute your successful relationship?

    We have extremely similar personalities, interests, goals, and ambitions. This allows us to share so much on so many levels and keeps us plugged into each other. We communicate well and often. Really helps. We're both pretty grounded people with a good sense of humor (important for a marriage). We also enjoy the acceptance of family and friends. We have a pretty active circle of real life friends. All of these things really contribute to our success so far.
    Angel likes this.

  14. #14
    Andrea Pereira Guest
    Are you married, engaged, living together or dating?
    Married 3 years now


    How long have you been together?

    November, 2003

    How old were you both when you met?
    19 (him) 38 (me)

    How did you meet?
    He worked for me.

    What adversities have you faced or expect to face in the future
    Lots. My children for one, I had an 18 year old son and a 16 year old daughter at the time. My daughter was pretty easy, but my son was a huge hurdle to pass. My family for another, I had been married for 20 years previously and led a pretty traditional lifestyle, I had also become very successful in my career. They all assumed he wanted the "security", I could offer. My boss was not pleased about the situation and started making my life increasingly difficult after he learned of the relationship. We have overcome all these obstacles, set up our own business's together (he makes more money then I do), and are now trying to have a child. Most new obstacles are probably standard for this kind of relationship, a few insecurities on my part about growing older, but it helps a lot to know we are each others destiny.

    To what do you attribute your successful relationship?
    I think these are common to any successful relationship. Friendship, first and foremost, mutual respect, trust and loyalty. I don't see these would be different even if there wasn't an age gap.

  15. #15
    joelstrouble's Avatar
    joelstrouble is offline Silence! I'll kill you!
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    Are you married, engaged, living together or dating?
    Married for 3 years!

    How long have you been together?
    We met 4 years ago, but non of us knows for sure when we were a couple.

    How old were you both when you met?
    I was 32 and he was 19

    How did you meet?
    We met online!

    What adversities have you faced or expect to face in the future?
    Some of his family weren't too happy about it, but I'm not sure that was all because of my age. I also think that the fact that he would move all the way from WA to Norway was a big reason!
    My kids (my oldest kid) told me that I was a pedophile etc. and we had a lot of problems in the beginning, but non of them have a problem about it now.


    To what do you attribute your successful relationship?
    Honesty and that no matter how stressed we are we try to spend quality time together and we always tell each other that we love one another. It can be on little notes, a text message during the day.. etc.

    Update: Still going strong, now with two babies. Maria Lynn born December 2009 and Liam Alexander born on his dad's birthday 6th og July 2011
    Last edited by joelstrouble; 08-23-2011 at 02:43 AM.
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