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Thread: What does "marriage material" mean to you?

  1. #1
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    What does "marriage material" mean to you?

    I hear people saying "so and so is not marriage material", sometimes it is justified, because the subject has negative personal traits, but sometimes, just because the person is going through a rough (financial) patch. I am interested to hear what would "marriage material" mean to you, specially within the age gap environment.

  2. #2
    gorillagirl Guest
    For me, it would mean able to be monogamous and put his marriage first (meaning in general but seldom exceptions okay) before work or school or friends, etc. - Finances in order (not dependent on me financially), able to talk about problems, compromise, work through issues without holding grudges, ability to grow closer from conflict (never going to bed angry), reliable, responsibile, takes initiative. No excuses. Ability to integrate me into his family without drama. Agreement on kids v. no kids. Something like that.

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    pinkunicorn's Avatar
    pinkunicorn is offline Senior Member
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    I would think that the general term, which is usually how it's used, means someone who is stable, emotionally, physically, financially, mentally, etc. It's a person who is grounded and responsible. It's a person who consistently puts others' needs above his/her own (probably shows that he/she would put his/her spouse & possible children's needs above his/her self).

    However, to me, "marriage material" means someone who loves me for me, and who loves himself, too. Someone who will be there for me and have my back through thick and thin. Someone who is responsible, yet fun-loving and spontaneous at the same time. He cannot take life too seriously, but needs to be mature enough to be serious when the situation warrants it. He must match me intellectually and spiritually. He must respect me and encourage me to be my own person, and he must remain his own person, too. I don't need a yes-man, nor do I want someone who cannot make friends/or do activities unless I'm with him.

    And he must love motorcycles, and ride his own. Most men don't like to ride two-up on the passenger seat, and Hades will freeze over looong before I ride pillion on my own Harley!

    Good thing my hubby fits this description to a T. It's like he was made just for me.
    Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.


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    Angel's Avatar
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    Honesty in the good and bad times with the ability to communicate and adapt in an overall healthy manner to that honesty.

    Everything else is negotiable to me in varying degrees.
    there before the threshold, I saw a brighter world beyond myself

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  5. #5
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    To me, marriage material has to involve love, loyalty, shared values, willingness to grow together, and mental and spiritual health.

  6. #6
    truckman Guest
    To me, "marriage material" is about capability of making a marriage work, emotionally and logistically:

    Capability to give and accept loved.
    Capability to commit.
    Capability to be a true partner.
    Capability to be emotionally generous.
    Capability to "adjust" when things change, including the dynamics of the relationship.

    and so on.

    I use the word "capability" because we all know how easy it is to love someone who truly is not a good fit on many levels.
    pinkunicorn likes this.

  7. #7
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Quote Originally Posted by truckman View Post
    Capability to "adjust" when things change, including the dynamics of the relationship.
    This is very important. It is easier to love when things are stable, the way they should be, but when there is a long period of adjustment, some relationships do not make it.

  8. #8
    Blue-Angel75's Avatar
    Blue-Angel75 is offline Blue Angel
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    There is some VERY big replies here>

    The demographics --age, country, religion ---may be different, but the backbone of it all is always based on the same grounds!!!

    I love this thread!!


    Blue Angel
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    "If you don't create an opportunity, you will never experience failure--therefore never really experience successes" Both by me!

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    Dwc's Avatar
    Dwc
    Dwc is offline OWYM AG 16YRS
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    - Commitment
    - Real Love
    - Masculine* (and the essence of masculinity is taking responsibility)


    * It doesn't mean how much beer he can drink, how loud he can belch, how much meat he eats, muscles he must have, being tough, nice pay checks, drive big cars, shoot guns, or beat women, doesn't cry, doesn't hug, play big toys etc - those does not make a man. A real man takes responsibility (not just for himself but also taking responsibility for his loved ones even when they, not him, are at fault, not in a saving way but in a serving way), loves his wife and their children. Even if he can't win a thumb wrestling match, but he takes responsibility, he's masculine. With a man as that he is a good head. P.S. Most of these are taken from one of the pastors my husband and I listen to, and we agree with he said.
    Last edited by Dwc; 03-23-2012 at 05:58 AM.

  10. #10
    Polly's Avatar
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    I wrote a song about this very subject... SoundClick artist: Polly Hager - page with MP3 music downloads click on "If You Could (Revised)" The lyric asks every question a woman would ever ask a man she is about to become involved with. To ME, a man who is marriage material is first and foremost, MY VERY BEST FRIEND!
    You're supposed to be grooving as hard as you can, all of the time. - Stephen Gaskin
    www.reverbnation.com/rockcandycincy
    www.soundclick.com/pollyhager

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    Azureth is offline Banned
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    Polly you have a very nice voice

  12. #12
    Polly's Avatar
    Polly is offline Doorperson for my pets!
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    Thank you!!!
    You're supposed to be grooving as hard as you can, all of the time. - Stephen Gaskin
    www.reverbnation.com/rockcandycincy
    www.soundclick.com/pollyhager

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