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Thread: Impossible Love

  1. #1
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Impossible Love

    Have you ever had an impossible love? I don't mean a relationship that went sour, a divorce, or a crush that went ignored, I mean something major, that never had any hope of becoming a reality. A love that took years to forget... whether from the perspective of the one who loves, or the one who is loved.

    I will start.

    My impossible love was a gay young man called Martin, we were friends for years, and connected in incredible ways... to the point of sharing dreams! I know he wanted to have a relationship with me, he gave me flowers, poems, but he could not be straight. After a while he drifted out of my life when he got a steady boyfriend.

    My other impossible love was a guy who loved me, he was 30 years older and never talked to me about love because he was so much older. At the end he told me he would have married me, but he never dared asked. I do not know if I would have accepted him at the time, I never saw him as anything but a friend.

    Now if I had to talk about the most improbable love that would be the love of my husband and I. The chance of him and I in our different countries and realities, clicking into the same obscure chat room at the same time and striking a conversation, and moving beyond a cyber one-nighter to marriage despite soooo many obstacles. What are the odds?
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  2. #2
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    My impossible love was my best friend IvŠn, who came out as gay. We started a relationship three years ago, but broke up, then went on and off for two years, until he finally admitted to me that he had tried his best to love me in a sexual way but just couldn't. This hurt me very deeply, but now we're past it and he's in a stable relationship with one of my guyfriends.

    I know I'm still young, but I doubt I will ever have such a deep connection with anyone else. He calls me his soulmate and we still maintain a very deep friendship. He also tells me that he's glad that we weren't a normal couple who would have eventually gotten tired of each other. He truly believes that I'm the only person in his life right now who will remain throughout the years, as do I. We're going to have our frist test, since he's leaving Mťxico for two years in August to go study somewhere else. I'm really sad to lose my best friend for so much time

  3. #3
    whiterose's Avatar
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    My impossible love was Remi, but it is just too painful for me to talk about.

  4. #4
    Angel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whiterose View Post
    My impossible love was Remi, but it is just too painful for me to talk about.


    I'm sorry Katrina. I know that whole situation causes you a lot of pain.

    For me, I've never had an impossible love. I've only been in love twice. My first love (poor choice, not impossible) and my current husband. I loved my ex-husband, but as a friend, not romantically, so he is not part of that count.

    I guess I would be considered anti-social on some levels, but I really am not. I just don't trust people and have been given plenty of reasons not to. I'm very guarded with my heart, particularly when it comes to loving someone, so I doubt I'll ever have this experience. Given my personality type it's probably a good thing.

    Improbable would be my YM (current husband). We were definitely improbable.
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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by whiterose View Post
    My impossible love was Remi, but it is just too painful for me to talk about.
    I remember it all from the beginning when you joined Ageless....long before you became the Administrator.

    My heart broke for you all along the way, Katrina.

    I admire you, I respect you, and I love you....and I've always considered you a dear friend.
    whiterose likes this.

  6. #6
    MOONBEAM Guest
    My impossible love story started as a Lifetime Television for Women movie.

    I was a year shy of 40, recently having moved back to my hometown to take care of my father, who, sadly passed away. Through a friend, I met a journalist who decided to feature me in the local newspaper.

    The guy in charge of putting the pages together was an old high school classmate.He asked the journalist to give me his phone number,should I be interested in catching up. When Iwe talked over the phone, it was like talking to my twin.

    I knew something magical was going to happen.We had coffee from 2 pm to 11 pm, closing time.The connection was incredible. He had lost his mother from cancer at the same time I lost mine. Our fathers had similar character traits and were in school together. We realized we had the same very good friend in highschool,he even planned on organizing a meeting with him.We bonded over so many things that it seemed fated.I even believed my dad had put him on my path. He was single, childless,and had never been married, though he mentioned wanting children.

    His colleague,described him as the most beautiful, loyal person. I also had a friend whose family was friends with his and vouched that he was a good man.

    On our second date, he admitted having had a huge crush on me in high school, which I kinda felt then.

    We walked hand in hand on the beach( I used my lousy ankle as a pretext to hang onto him). He was so shy he drove to 2 different beaches to work up the courage to kiss me. The moment was so beautiful that he bursted out crying.

    He said he was looking for a woman to start over with, in another country. Like me, he was very solitary, not falling in love easily, and didn't have any significant LTR in his past.He said he never kissed lightly, which was confirmed by his lesbian colleague who said he didn't even want to kiss her girlfriend during a play they worked on.

    My heart was open and my feelings just poured out with no censorship. I basically told him we should get involved. I know it sounds very uncautious, but words were coming out of my mouth as if under hypnosis. The man cried in my arms, as if he had never been held or kissed in his life. After a brief pause, he saying we were both crazy, too old, apparently, for that kind of leap of faith,that he would make me miserable. He became very angry because I seemed too positive about the whole thing.I was ecstatic with joy and had no doubt in my mind that he was the man for me. I couldn't see why he was panicking.

    I was about to leave for London within the next 2 days, and he was to go on holiday for 2 weeks, so we had over 3 weeks apart. He dropped me in front of my house and promised to call me the next day, we kissed and his last words were: I adore you.

    The next morning, he called as promised, and gave me all the reasons why we couldn't be together. I had told him the night before that he had all the time in the world, that I was in no rush, and was willing to establish a friendship towards building a relationship together. I also told him that only friendship was fine with me. He said he couldn't be friends with me because he would always feel deeply attracted. We decided to let it rest and have dinner as friends, upon our return.

    In the meantime, his colleague confirmed he was planning on meeting me again and that he had described our meeting as magical.

    I called him from London, also called him 1 week after his return:no reply. After one month, we met by accident in front of a cafe and he said he had been busy (ouch), but would call me sometime soon to catch up. I am a very good actress, so I was very upbeat, he was having coffee with a colleague so I kept everything light and cheerful...until I got myself to the bathroom to call my best friend in tears. No calls were forthcoming. I ran this past everyone that knew him or knew of him:no one could comprehend the situation. He had no girlfriend, was not a player, and had the reputation of someone serious, committed, kind.

    I thought that he needed some time, and hoped and hoped he would come round. However, realistically,he was being very cruel, knowing I had just lost my father. I was so grief striken I thought I was going to harm myself.I was lucky that my good friend invited me to stay in Berlin, where I cried myself to sleep every night and would wake up in the middle of the night crying.

    Now, when we come face to face, we don't even say hello. One day, I just stared at him and smiled, it looked like he was going to say something but didn't.He is still single, as I am. I would never date him again, and haven't thought about him romantically in years, yet I know he was the man I was supposed to be with, should I have remained as scared as he was.
    debralee and VenusDarkStar like this.

  7. #7
    christina923 is offline Senior Member
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    (((katrina)))


    my improbable love is my husband, 18years younger with 4000 miles seperating us at the time. met in an online game with a quick passing word to each other. the odds?? i think pretty astronomical...

    impossible love??? does johnny depp count??

  8. #8
    whiterose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MOONBEAM View Post
    My impossible love story started as a Lifetime Television for Women movie.

    I was a year shy of 40, recently having moved back to my hometown to take care of my father, who, sadly passed away. Through a friend, I met a journalist who decided to feature me in the local newspaper.

    The guy in charge of putting the pages together was an old high school classmate.He asked the journalist to give me his phone number,should I be interested in catching up. When Iwe talked over the phone, it was like talking to my twin.

    I knew something magical was going to happen.We had coffee from 2 pm to 11 pm, closing time.The connection was incredible. He had lost his mother from cancer at the same time I lost mine. Our fathers had similar character traits and were in school together. We realized we had the same very good friend in highschool,he even planned on organizing a meeting with him.We bonded over so many things that it seemed fated.I even believed my dad had put him on my path. He was single, childless,and had never been married, though he mentioned wanting children.

    His colleague,described him as the most beautiful, loyal person. I also had a friend whose family was friends with his and vouched that he was a good man.

    On our second date, he admitted having had a huge crush on me in high school, which I kinda felt then.

    We walked hand in hand on the beach( I used my lousy ankle as a pretext to hang onto him). He was so shy he drove to 2 different beaches to work up the courage to kiss me. The moment was so beautiful that he bursted out crying.

    He said he was looking for a woman to start over with, in another country. Like me, he was very solitary, not falling in love easily, and didn't have any significant LTR in his past.He said he never kissed lightly, which was confirmed by his lesbian colleague who said he didn't even want to kiss her girlfriend during a play they worked on.

    My heart was open and my feelings just poured out with no censorship. I basically told him we should get involved. I know it sounds very uncautious, but words were coming out of my mouth as if under hypnosis. The man cried in my arms, as if he had never been held or kissed in his life. After a brief pause, he saying we were both crazy, too old, apparently, for that kind of leap of faith,that he would make me miserable. He became very angry because I seemed too positive about the whole thing.I was ecstatic with joy and had no doubt in my mind that he was the man for me. I couldn't see why he was panicking.

    I was about to leave for London within the next 2 days, and he was to go on holiday for 2 weeks, so we had over 3 weeks apart. He dropped me in front of my house and promised to call me the next day, we kissed and his last words were: I adore you.

    The next morning, he called as promised, and gave me all the reasons why we couldn't be together. I had told him the night before that he had all the time in the world, that I was in no rush, and was willing to establish a friendship towards building a relationship together. I also told him that only friendship was fine with me. He said he couldn't be friends with me because he would always feel deeply attracted. We decided to let it rest and have dinner as friends, upon our return.

    In the meantime, his colleague confirmed he was planning on meeting me again and that he had described our meeting as magical.

    I called him from London, also called him 1 week after his return:no reply. After one month, we met by accident in front of a cafe and he said he had been busy (ouch), but would call me sometime soon to catch up. I am a very good actress, so I was very upbeat, he was having coffee with a colleague so I kept everything light and cheerful...until I got myself to the bathroom to call my best friend in tears. No calls were forthcoming. I ran this past everyone that knew him or knew of him:no one could comprehend the situation. He had no girlfriend, was not a player, and had the reputation of someone serious, committed, kind.

    I thought that he needed some time, and hoped and hoped he would come round. However, realistically,he was being very cruel, knowing I had just lost my father. I was so grief striken I thought I was going to harm myself.I was lucky that my good friend invited me to stay in Berlin, where I cried myself to sleep every night and would wake up in the middle of the night crying.

    Now, when we come face to face, we don't even say hello. One day, I just stared at him and smiled, it looked like he was going to say something but didn't.He is still single, as I am. I would never date him again, and haven't thought about him romantically in years, yet I know he was the man I was supposed to be with, should I have remained as scared as he was.
    I think people like that must be frozen with fear that they will be hurt. A guy recently did this to my daughter -- gave her the impression that she was the one, then turned it off like a switch. No explanation. She learned right then to move on.

    Then there was the former high school crush that found me on Facebook last year after a 31 yr absence. We picked right back up where we left off, except he won't date me because he is becoming an ordained Catholic deacon, and because he is so deep into it, he cannot marry.. will be taking a vow of celibacy. So much for that!

  9. #9
    whiterose's Avatar
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    And thanks all of you who remembered my situation and especially thankful that you understand how painful it is for me to discuss. ((( hugs )))

  10. #10
    pinkunicorn's Avatar
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    My impossible love...that would be me!

    I was so terrified of eventually getting hurt in relationships that I NEVER fully opened up to anyone. Not even my ex husband. I would always keep my heart just a little bit guarded. Others seemed to have no problem opening up to me, and I would share *some* open-ness with them. But I just never could get myself to fully open up.

    My BFF helped a lot with this issue of mine back when I was a teenager, but it wasn't until I met my OM, who effortlessly broke through every wall and barrier I had around my heart within a matter of weeks, that I learned what it's like to fully love someone, and to allow them to fully love you in return.
    christina923 and whiterose like this.
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  11. #11
    chi77 Guest

    improbable or impossible

    the love i currently have...improbable because we met through the company we both worked for, him in london, me here in the states. he was sent here for training. he was in a relationship at the time and we became friends first.

    it may also be impossible, don't know yet. he moved to australia less than a year after we met, so now he's 10,000 miles away and i haven't seen him in person in 5 years.

    he's been going through a rough time since leaving his partner two years ago, first emotionally (they have two boys together) and now financially. she's making everything as hard as she possibly can. whenever he has stress he pulls away and we've only spoken once in the past couple months after he told me he was over emotional women. we do keep in contact in small ways like emails, texts and a game we play together. my feelings are the same and he gives me signs that his are too. i'm trying to be patient, as he asked, and taking one day at a time. our plan was to see each other again in december, only time will tell if this turns out to be impossible.

  12. #12
    degausser is offline Senior Member
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    This is one I always over-explain, so Iím trying for as concise as possible. After 8 years it still makes me embarrassed to admit, but my impossible love is my former high school teacher. Iíve loved that man for so long that itís simply pathetic. 5 years after my graduation, the sight of him still makes my hands shake. But I understand now. I used to think it was so simple, and it isnít. I understand that nothing is ever going to happen there. And anything that did happen would be a mistake. Ö.a long overdue, satisfying mistakeÖbut a mistake nonetheless. It was a hard hope to put to rest. But I understand now.

    As for improbable, I would have to say my boyfriend, T, gets that award. Not that we were so far away, but so many things needed to happen for us to meet.

    We lived in different parts of the state, but only about an hour away. In middle school, I became friends with A. A moved to Guatemala when he was 14, and we didnít keep in touch.

    While A and I were losing touch, my cousin, K, became friends with C. C was Aís best friend, but I didnít know him. A eventually returns to the states, at age 19. Naturally, we conclude that K, C, A and I need to hang out. We become likeÖumÖfour peas in a pod? Anyway, that happens.

    In the meantime, T is an hour away and knows none of us. He gets laid off, and starts looking through the classifieds for work in his field. He stumbles upon an ad Ė for Cís fatherís company. He gets the job. A and C also work there. T moves to my hometown, rather than deal with the commute. A needs a place to live, and moves into Tís spare room. The three of them become friends, despite T being 18 years older than them.

    A moves back to Guatemala. C and T remain best friends, and see each other often. One night, C suggests that K and I meet him, as heís hanging out with T. T and I are formally introduced. He claims it was love at first sight, but that was actually the second time we met. The first time we met was when A was living with him. He came home from work, and I was sitting on his couch. He had an unknown song stuck in his head, and I told him the name of it. Meeting girls doesnít get much easier than that.

  13. #13
    gorillagirl Guest
    I met a fairly well known rock'n'roll dude (yes, you heard him on the radio in the 1980s) about 25 years ago. We connected again about 14 years ago. We could have had a "thang" except he was married to a famous actress with kids. Instead, he introduced to me to my husband and we trudged along for 13 years and it's over now (still married but have only seen him 3 times in the last year). Sigh.

  14. #14
    christina923 is offline Senior Member
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