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Thread: OW: Do you get approached by men your age?

  1. #1
    Azureth is offline Banned
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    OW: Do you get approached by men your age?

    Whether you're single or not, do same-age men approach you? We have lots of lovely OW here, so I was just curious if it happens much. If so, are they usually nice about it, or are they pushy/rude?

  2. #2
    Redhead's Avatar
    Redhead is offline Senior Member
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    Usually men who approach me are younger, but if same-age men give it a try I would say they are not more friendly or less friendly than any age guys.
    May I ask what is the background for your question?

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    pinkunicorn is offline Senior Member
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    From the other side of the coin, I am 33 and I get approached most often by older men (40+). Men my age and younger, I've been told, are intimidated by me. Apparently, "I'm not like all the other girls." (A direct quote from a guy my own age.)

    I guess they just aren't comfortable with a good-looking chick that rides her own Harley and can hold her own in a group of guys! LOL I've been told it takes a very strong and secure person to be able to handle me most of the time, even just in a friendship.
    Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.


  4. #4
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    I get approached by men who are older, same age, and slightly younger.
    Not thaaaaat often though. I am very careful to avoid flirting, just one tinsy bit of flirting and wham! You got a suitor.
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  5. #5
    MissMuffins's Avatar
    MissMuffins is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azureth View Post
    Whether you're single or not, do same-age men approach you? We have lots of lovely OW here, so I was just curious if it happens much. If so, are they usually nice about it, or are they pushy/rude?
    Yes, same-age men approach me...just as older men and younger men approach me. With men of any age, whether or not the guy is nice about it depends on what kind of guy he is. Depending on where we are, how much he's had to drink plays into it, too.

    I try to be courteous about not furthering their interest, unless the situation warrants rudeness, evasive maneuvers or self-defense.

    MM
    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

  6. #6
    pinkunicorn's Avatar
    pinkunicorn is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuffins View Post

    I try to be courteous about not furthering their interest, unless the situation warrants rudeness, evasive maneuvers or self-defense.

    MM
    I am sure to ALWAYS work the fact that I am married into the conversation ASAP. Something like "Oh, my husband does that, too!" or "My husband is at such-and-such or he'd be here tonight." etc...

    And the guys tend to do the same. Many of them, rather than asking if I'm married or not, will say "And what does your husband do?" or something to that effect.

    I love to flirt, but I make sure that the guy knows that is ALL we will be doing!
    Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.


  7. #7
    MissMuffins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkunicorn View Post
    I am sure to ALWAYS work the fact that I am married into the conversation ASAP. Something like "Oh, my husband does that, too!" or "My husband is at such-and-such or he'd be here tonight." etc...

    And the guys tend to do the same. Many of them, rather than asking if I'm married or not, will say "And what does your husband do?" or something to that effect.

    I love to flirt, but I make sure that the guy knows that is ALL we will be doing!
    exactly.
    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

  8. #8
    Dwc's Avatar
    Dwc
    Dwc is offline OWYM AG 16YRS
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    Hmm, I don't have straight answer for that because:
    1. I was a lesbian till I met my husband and went straight (I was in denial)
    2. I don't flirt (not saying that anyone who gets approached flirts)
    3. My work used to occupy my time a lot and when I knock off I'd rather head home and sleep (housewife now as well as a free-range entrepreneur and enjoying it)
    4. when I hit bars, I do so to be with my group of girl friends for friends-time, usually our group is medium-large, often 6 & above. Its obvious to anyone we are not interested in getting guys' attention. Plus I don't do bars much. Usually prefer sitting in a hotel's lounge corner, reading, when chilling by myself.
    5. I would think you're asking about the now, so I won't count those whom approached me on earlier years.

    But, if it counts, once, I was really pissed with my husband that I told him I'm going to go chill and for some reason signed up to a reputable but clean (payable) dating site, specifically stating "separated" (not single) and my age, photos and all. All I remembered was I received a string of messages from guys ranging from their early 20s till mid-40s (I think there was one nearing 60). So yeah, younger, same age and older as well. There were really shy ones, a few extremely nervous ones, some were really courteous, some very pushy, one guy sent me something like 8 messages in a day, he really freaked me out. You can really tell by the way they write, it was rather obvious. But I suppose via PMs can be different when in person. IDK.

    The site has some app function on phone that allows potential daters to radar scan nearby fellow daters and you could just PM them for lunch/dinner. I was amazed how techy it is but it also freaked me out, felt stalked & turned the radar off. I terminated my account less than a week after opening & publishing it without responding to anyone. My husband wasn't too pleased with the whole thing (we always tell each other everything), that experience did led us not to take each other for granted ever again, so that was good, but also one time is enough.

    So yeah, besides, I think wearing our wedding band speaks for itself in public. At least over here in Asia, to the least I know, usually people take the message that it means "back off, she's taken". Unless, they want to ask for trouble.
    Last edited by Dwc; 11-16-2012 at 10:13 PM.
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  9. #9
    theREALTrish's Avatar
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    I get approached by younger, older, and same age men. Although, I don't place myself in situations where that will happen much anymore. I fell in love with someone my age....well, he's about a year and a half older.....lol. The relationship isn't the way I'd prefer it to be because of his serious health issues. But, I'm not interested in meeting anyone else. I probably give off an aloof, unavailable vibe.
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  10. #10
    gorillagirl Guest
    in general, i refuse interactions with men who "approach" me. i just act completely disinterested unless they are absolutely something special somehow. then i'm polite but super cautious.
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  11. #11
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    I do not think that the wedding band, in itself, is any protection against approaches. In some men's mind it just means "cool, she will be ok with secret sex and will not want a serious relationship because she is married".

    I have no clue what the wedding band in a man means for women, but I figure something like "cool, he is marriage material obviously because he is married, let's see if I can get him to dump his wife and marry me".
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    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  12. #12
    chi77 Guest
    I do not get approached. Why is that? I'm not bad looking, I dress up, do my hair and make-up when I go out.

    I have been told that I give off an air of aloofness, but seriously does that keep men away?

    I'm not aloof, more shy, but I guess that could be interpreted as being aloof.

    Unless I am totally oblivious to men expressing an interest in me. I was in a LDR for a long time and maybe I do give off an unavailable vibe. I don't go to bars a lot but is that the only place men approach women?

    SIGH. This is depressing.

  13. #13
    laurad121 is offline Senior Member
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    I never get approached by same aged men. Usually men that are 10 years older than me but occasionally get approached by men ten years younger. Very odd that I never meet men my own age but oh well I'm not looking anyway.......

  14. #14
    theREALTrish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chi77 View Post
    I do not get approached. Why is that? I'm not bad looking, I dress up, do my hair and make-up when I go out.

    I have been told that I give off an air of aloofness, but seriously does that keep men away?

    I'm not aloof, more shy, but I guess that could be interpreted as being aloof.

    Unless I am totally oblivious to men expressing an interest in me. I was in a LDR for a long time and maybe I do give off an unavailable vibe. I don't go to bars a lot but is that the only place men approach women?

    SIGH. This is depressing.
    Chi, don't feel depressed. You're probably like me. I'm also shy which might be perceived as aloofness. I'm also a woman who's never needed a man to validate me. You're probably the same way. I'm always amazed by women who go from one dysfunctional relationship to another, just because they can't be alone. To me, it's better to be alone than being in constant turmoil.

    I also have a long distance relationship which, like you, isn't the way I'd like it to be. I tried all the dating stuff.....older men, younger men, same age men.....that was more depressing than being by myself.

    I'd rather be alone than have a man driving me crazy. At my age, I'm not sure if I'll find that "happily ever after".....

    Sending you a big hug....
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  15. #15
    Blue-Angel75's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuffins View Post
    Yes, same-age men approach me...just as older men and younger men approach me. With men of any age, whether or not the guy is nice about it depends on what kind of guy he is. Depending on where we are, how much he's had to drink plays into it, too.

    I try to be courteous about not furthering their interest, unless the situation warrants rudeness, evasive maneuvers or self-defense.

    MM

    WHAT KIND OF CITY DO YOU LIVE IN??? hahahhaahh self defense??




    Ok me too! I want my spoon in here too.

    I generally get approached by men in their 50s or 60s. Over the years the profile match up tells me that they generally test the waters to see if they can find themselves a good boy toy.


    Every now and then I will have a guy my age take a shot at me. But they quickly find out how, "out of their league" I am. I am not into men.

    I am really flirtatious, and I alway smile, wink, and acknoledge others. I have been told that my attitude can lead to some believing I may be INTO them, or may be interested. Of course this is a double edge sword, so don't look at me like I flirt too much, I don't!---just enough really

    But when I DO DO like somebody, you can be sure that she will know 100%, no mistakes.


    Blue Angel
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    "Mimic what successful people are doing, copy it, practice it, costumize it so that it suits you, I promise you this: you will not fail!"
    "If you don't create an opportunity, you will never experience failure--therefore never really experience successes" Both by me!

    If you flirt with me, I may just flirt right back at ya!

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