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Thread: VERY interesting comment

  1. #1
    Blue-Angel75's Avatar
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    VERY interesting comment

    Just because two people love each other doesn't mean they are suppose to be together

    VERY interesting comment. I was just watching a movie, and the girl told this to the guy. She told him she loved him with all her heart but then she made that comment.


    What's up with that???? I don't fully understand it I mean this is real life stuff IMHO




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    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    IMO it just means that there are other kinds of love that take priority over the love between a man and a woman.

    I do not know the specifics of your movie, but for example it occurs to me that some of the loves that would take priority are:

    Love of God
    Love of Country
    Love of Family

    and in some cases

    Love of Self.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  3. #3
    Dil
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    I think two people can love each other deeply but want different things in life. It could be something as simple as one may want to live in the county and other wants to be have a city live. Or more complicated such as one partner wants to have children in the future and the other does not. The life styles the couple wanted could be different and neither of them wanted to meet in the middle because of the drastic differences. I went through something similar to this with my ex. I wanted someone who was into having a career, and having a family in the future. He likes to just live life by the moment and did not care for kids. I thought we could stay together and make things work but it was just too much off a compromise that neither of us wanted to make.
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    It makes perfect sense to me, having loved my ex-husband who was not a good fit for me. I still love him. Always will. But we just are not able to make it work together.

  5. #5
    degausser is offline Senior Member
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    It's sad, but love isn't always enough. People who love each other can be downright destructive together. Not to mention having different goals, plans, etc.

    Two people can love each other, but the circumstances or timing might not be right. There are so many factors that go into a successful relationship. Love is just the tip of the iceberg.
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  6. #6
    truckman Guest
    It's like loving chocolate, but being deathly allergic ;-)
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  7. #7
    gorillagirl Guest
    Right now, the person I love the most in the world is someone I could never build a life with. It's sad for me but it's reality.
    I have loved many men who I could never be with long term or live with. Maybe they drank too much, smoked too much pot, couldn't be consistently reliable, prioritized their career over me, etc. Loving someone is almost the LAST reason to build a life with them as "love" shifts (once the passion is gone). Compatibility in lifestyle/goals is most realistic.
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  8. #8
    pinkunicorn's Avatar
    pinkunicorn is offline Senior Member
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    Truckman, welcome back!

    Like what others said about compatibility. You can love someone all you want, but if you aren't compatible with them on multiple levels, it won't work out.
    Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.


  9. #9
    christina923 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by gorillagirl View Post
    Right now, the person I love the most in the world is someone I could never build a life with. It's sad for me but it's reality.
    I have loved many men who I could never be with long term or live with. Maybe they drank too much, smoked too much pot, couldn't be consistently reliable, prioritized their career over me, etc. Loving someone is almost the LAST reason to build a life with them as "love" shifts (once the passion is gone). Compatibility in lifestyle/goals is most realistic.
    well, to be accused of "trolling you" (whatever) i would think one wouldn't "love" someone in a relationship way if they had a characteristic that was not compatible with us. why even go there?? the things you listed, would more then likely be obvious before falling in love. i would think one wouldn't even enter into a romantic relationship.... and would be full aware before romantic love entered into the picture. love may shift... but it most certainly should be the first component of a relationship of any value.

    i think you are stating platonic love... whereas i'm seeing it as romantic love.

  10. #10
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
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    IMO one does not need to be compatible to love somebody, or to have a relationship. I mean you have to have some compatibilities but not everything. Love is weird.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  11. #11
    Blue-Angel75's Avatar
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    its good to see different perspectives...even those that sound way out in the left field.



    Blue Angel
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  12. #12
    gorillagirl Guest
    Blue Angel- you've been thru plenty of relationships. This concept shouldn't seem so bewildering. It's pretty common that we feel "in love" with someone when sex/lust/romance is new. It's the "happily ever after" stuff that this comment seems to be referring to. I have had several relationships with guys I knew I would never marry because sex was great. And when the sex is over, sometimes the friendship remains, more often not. But it's all about compatibility. I don't care how much I love/lust some guy, if he's not compatible with me, it won't work.
    Last edited by gorillagirl; 12-09-2012 at 08:03 PM.
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  13. #13
    truckman Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by gorillagirl View Post
    Blue Angel- you've been thru plenty of relationships. This concept shouldn't seem so bewildering. It's pretty common that we feel "in love" with someone when sex/lust/romance is new. It's the "happily ever after" stuff that this comment seems to be referring to. I have had several relationships with guys I knew I would never marry because sex was great. And when the sex is over, sometimes the friendship remains, more often not. But it's all about compatibility. I don't care how much I love/lust some guy, if he's not compatible with me, it won't work.
    Here is how I think it works. Love, Lust, and Friendship start to form the moment we meet someone, but grow at different rates.

    Lust grows fast because it's more biologically influenced... it's more primal in nature.

    Friendship grows at a slower rate, because it requires elements that take time to see/demonstrate/prove - trust, loyalty, etc.

    Love grows at an even slower rate, because it's by far the most complicated emotion we have - also requiring examples of demonstration.

    I also think most of us tend to confuse the three different things more often then we'd care to admit. I know I'm guilty of it.

  14. #14
    NY10's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue-Angel75 View Post
    Just because two people love each other doesn't mean they are suppose to be together

    VERY interesting comment. I was just watching a movie, and the girl told this to the guy. She told him she loved him with all her heart but then she made that comment.


    What's up with that???? I don't fully understand it I mean this is real life stuff IMHO




    Blue Angel
    I actually understand this very well and I have used this phrase in the past when breaking up with an ex, I have no idea the movie you are talking about but word for word this is exactly what I told him and several friends after the break up. It was the best way I could describe what I was feeling. I was very much in love with this man, he was my entire world and I planned on marrying him. We were together for several years and many of them were good but the relationship turned toxic. We reached a point where we were no longer good for each other. I made the hard choice to end it and it was very painful, we went back and forth for over a year, finally I reached a point where I realized being with him was not an option and being without him was hurting me just as bad. When I sat down with him I told him I loved him and always will, but we were simply not good for each other and just because we were in love doesn't mean we were meant to be. It takes more than love to make a relationship work. That is also something I have heard many times.
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  15. #15
    Blue-Angel75's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NY10 View Post
    I actually understand this very well and I have used this phrase in the past when breaking up with an ex, I have no idea the movie you are talking about but word for word this is exactly what I told him and several friends after the break up. It was the best way I could describe what I was feeling. I was very much in love with this man, he was my entire world and I planned on marrying him. We were together for several years and many of them were good but the relationship turned toxic. We reached a point where we were no longer good for each other. I made the hard choice to end it and it was very painful, we went back and forth for over a year, finally I reached a point where I realized being with him was not an option and being without him was hurting me just as bad. When I sat down with him I told him I loved him and always will, but we were simply not good for each other and just because we were in love doesn't mean we were meant to be. It takes more than love to make a relationship work. That is also something I have heard many times.

    Just used that line yesterday myself. Perhaps we should own the copy rights by now

    Thank you for sharing yout story as well.


    Blue Angel
    "Mimic what successful people are doing, copy it, practice it, costumize it so that it suits you, I promise you this: you will not fail!"
    "If you don't create an opportunity, you will never experience failure--therefore never really experience successes" Both by me!

    If you flirt with me, I may just flirt right back at ya!

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