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Thread: Breakfast at the Golden Unicorn

  1. #1
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Breakfast at the Golden Unicorn

    Today it's my mom's 81st birthday.

    Yesterday one of her friends from church (my mom goes to mass every day) invited me to mass and breakfast to celebrate my mom. Mass was at 7 am and from there we, and her church friends, were going to have breakfast at my mom's favorite chinese restaurant the Golden Unicorn for Dim Sum.

    All of my mom's friends (except one, an Asian lady about my age) are between 80 to 90 yrs old. So the fun started after mass when one of my mom's friends told me that I am growing taller and taller. That I used to be my mom's and her height but now I am like 5 inches taller, wow. Fact is that I have not become taller but that everyone else has become shorter, but of course I could not say that.

    Then they started trying to decide who went in which car to the restaurant with various suggestions as everyone (all 8 ladies) wanted to ride with my mom in my car that can fit only 5. So after some discussion they spread in 2 cars.

    The conversation started about different pains (hip, knee, back) and it was quite a lively conversation, with a lot of excitement like friends sharing info about new bars in town.

    Then we got to the restaurant, and we sat around the table, and got served tea or coffee... so far so good. Then the waiters started bringing the dim sum carts and chaos began. Many of the old ladies had never been to a Chineese breakfast and did not understand the concept that they bring these carts and you pick from the cart what you want to eat. Most dim sum food is either about pork, shrimp, carbs or something fried. Most of the ladies had either bad livers, various gastric problems, diabetes, high cholesterol (no eggs) or shrimp allergies. Some started asking for items not on the menu. And they had to be explained that no, they do not make waffles or turkey sandwiches on raisin bread there.

    Of course everybody 80 or older refused to eat with chopsticks. The Asian lady offered free chopstick eating classes at my mom's and my mom started collecting all the unused disposable chopsticks (still in the wrapping paper) so they could use them then, but one lady refused to surrender hers, and looked suspiciously at everyone else.

    They ordered dish after dish just to discover they could not eat it because it contained pork, eggs or shrimp. Serving plates were piling up with food that was not even touched. My mom was delighted because she knew she was getting to take home whatever food was not consumed.

    Despite this, they were all joking and making fun of politicians, old (dead) teachers, old (dead) husbands, and talking about old times. A couple of those present had escaped their nursing homes to be there. At that time they remembered the names of friends they meant to invite but totally forgot when making invitations, even if such friends had explicitly expressed interest in coming.

    When it was time to pay, they had to split the bill and it was quite an operation. They refused offers for a calculator as some of them were former teachers and they felt they could do this math operation in their heads. A young cute chinese waiter was just standing there watching the bill being passed from hand to hand, and no sign of anyone opening their wallets. He looked so dismal, confused, and funny that I made a comment and they all starting laughing and saying that he was handsome, some suggestions were made about marriage with various grand daughters, and that made him blush and leave to hide behind a partition, from where he could peek from time to time, to see if the math was finished or not.

    Finally when the math was finished one of the old ladies exclaimed that she forgot her wallet, so sorry, so again the math, divided by one less person now. Some ladies started laughing, some were just confused at why the math again?

    I was in tears from laughing so much, and at the same time horrified at what is waiting for me. I am so happy my mom is with me, and grateful for the opportunity of being with her friends, and glad she has friends and that they can still have fun at their age, despite hip pain, Alzheimers, deaths, and widowhood.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  2. #2
    VenusDarkStarLA's Avatar
    VenusDarkStarLA is offline Senior Member
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    Aaaah.....Old people. I guess one day we'll all be there (somebody just take me out in the pasture and shoot me please) I've never spent time with such a large group of seniors, but some of my fondest memories began with my visits with my grandma & grandpa....who I imagined, being only 5 years old, were very old at the time, when in reality, they were younger than me today.

    They seemed very fussy and they spoiled me rotten...isn't that what grandparents are for? Luckily for them, I was a good kid, and they needn't worry about not being heavily insured. OK, there WAS that time I decided that rollerskating in the basement was a good idea, but I didn't plan on hitting a puddle coming from the washing machine. I landed on my head, and that's probably why I'm so weird. LOL

    Sometimes they'd take me with them to the Pine River back in Michigan, so Grandpa could catch some rainbow trout, and Grandma decided it was cute to take a photo of me sitting on the porta-potty....naked.

    When I was a teenager, and we were all in California, Grandma would come over to play Canasta with me and my mom. Sometimes we'd play Yahzee. Grandma would often insist on making her version of Chop Suey, which I now realize was horrible, but I just pretended it was something else and then it tasted OK. Since when do the Chinese use ground hamburger meat?

    My little brothers and I used to listen to this record over and over until it died. It pretty much sums up my assessment of old people as a child.

    Danny Kaye "I like old people, don't you" (digitally remastered) - YouTube
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  3. #3
    pinkunicorn's Avatar
    pinkunicorn is offline Senior Member
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    For some reason, I think I would LOVE the Golden Unicorn--if only just because of the name!
    Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.


  4. #4
    Sophia is offline Neophyte
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    That sounds great I love listening to "old people". There is a tv show where people, usually widowed, go on tv, get interviewed about their lives and look for love. It was always amazing to listen to, I felt like I learned so much about life and about how things used to be in Spain during Franco's dictatorship. It was also wonderful to see how someone always called in, usually someone around there own age, also widowed wanting to meet them and see how things go.

    Actually, SLK, since you know spanish you could check it out, its on youtube like this one: A sus 88 años quiere aprender a dar un beso de tornillo - YouTube
    Its good fun!
    Last edited by Sophia; 06-07-2013 at 08:40 AM. Reason: spelling
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  5. #5
    debralee's Avatar
    debralee is offline Senior Member
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    What a delightful story. I loved it. The parts I loved the most are that they all want things to go their way and everyone else will just have to wait until it becomes more to their liking. I aspire to this!

    Thank you for sharing this. And Happy Birthday to your Mother!!
    ​​"Life is an adventure, not a prison sentence."

  6. #6
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Quote Originally Posted by debralee View Post
    Thank you for sharing this. And Happy Birthday to your Mother!!
    Thank you debra! And as a follow up, today I discovered that one of the old ladies left a huge umbrella and some books in my car, so I guess I will be seeing her again when I drop them at her home.
    debralee likes this.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

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