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Thread: Ready for the next year in my life...sigh

  1. #1
    CrazyLove's Avatar
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    Ready for the next year in my life...sigh

    Last year on my 51st birthday I had emergency bowel obstruction surgery and was diagnosed with Colon Cancer. Most of the year was spent either recovering from surgery or battling cancer with Chemo.

    Thankfully, eight weeks ago, I finished chemo, and had a clean PET scan, no evidence of disease. I have my first follow up Dr appointment tomorrow, hopefully everything will continue to be good.

    Last month, The day after my chemo ended, my loving and faithful 10 year old Aussie dog died of cancer. She had been diagnosed only two weeks before. We had surgery at the same time last year, when she had a tumor on her shoulder removed. At that time the vet said she got good clear margins, and felt good that it was benign. Guess it wasnt. Zoe lay at my side the entire year, head in my lap, paw on my arm during my sick, sad or tired days. Its almost as if she knew when chemo ended. My Angel passed away in my lap in the car on the way to have her put to sleep. She lays under the tree in the front yard, forever watching over our family. I miss her terribly.

    And if that wasnt enough...since the cancer didnt kill me...I nearly did it to myself. Sunday before last on my husbands 32nd birthday and the day before our 7 year wedding anniversary. With our family and friends around, I was goofing off, holding my husbands fingers, trying to get him to stand up. I lost my grip, and fell backwards off our front porch, down three steps and fell squarely on the back of my silly head onto the brick walkway, Knocking myself unconcious. When I came to I was paralyzed and unable to breath or speak. It was very very scary. I was turning blue....mouthing to my husband to not panic. I was bleeding profusely from the back side of my head. Thankfully, as the feeling returned to my body, I also began to breath. Paramedics were literally minutes away. Ambulance on its way as well. Suffice it to say, I spent the rest of the day and night in ER. CTscan, xrays, MRI and bloodwork all negative. I took nine staples in my head. I was sent home with a splitting headache, which is still with me. My poor poor husband thought I was dying in his arms. I guess Im lucky I didnt. Recovery has been slow and painful.

    Anyway. My birthday is a few weeks away. I want a do over of the entire year.

    Tam
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  2. #2
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Some years seem like they should be either erased or put behind.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  3. #3
    christina923 is offline Senior Member
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    wow. what a very tough/heartbreaking/frightening year.
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  4. #4
    NY10's Avatar
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    You most certainly have had quite the year. I guess the silly quote of what doesn't kill us makes stronger is an understatement here. I hope all this bad stuff is way way behind you and the next year is filled with happiness and healthiness and lots of joy. You sure deserve it.
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  5. #5
    CrazyLove's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone...I dont usually complain or wallow, but I was sure feeling sorry for myself!

    Sadly, the follow up cancer appt was not good....tumor markers up, battle continues. I wont know what the course of treatment will be until I get my PET Scan results. More chemo, radation or surgery....or any combination of the aforementioned.

    Though initially discouraged, Im ready to go to battle again!

    CHARGE!

    Tam
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  6. #6
    maryb is offline Member
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    Tammy, so sad to read your update, sending you hugs and positive wishes and hope you are very soon on the road to a full recovery. love mary.

  7. #7
    NY10's Avatar
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    You are very strong and positive thinking will only help you continue to fight. I'm wising you the best and hope that the next round will be the final round and this next year is filled with NOTHING BUT GREAT THINGS from here on out.
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  8. #8
    christina923 is offline Senior Member
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    wishing you all the best. my prayers .
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  9. #9
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    Sending prayers/positive energy/hugs/good vibes and universal love your way!
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    ~ You are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here, and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should ~



  10. #10
    gorillagirl Guest
    green smoothies and wheatgrass juice. keep your body alkaline. wishing you healthy.
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  11. #11
    Air
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    Sad to hear what you're going through. Take one day at the time and stay focused on the small things. Much love to you. Hugs!
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    Navigare necesse est!

  12. #12
    theREALTrish's Avatar
    theREALTrish is offline Senior Member
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    Sending you love, prayers, and positive thoughts, Tam....
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  13. #13
    legallyblonde Guest
    Tam:
    I am sending positive vibes your way. Cancer go away....

    Ali
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  14. #14
    Angel's Avatar
    Angel is offline Anger Thrives In A Fool
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    Wow CL, I'm so sorry all that you've gone through and are going through.
    there before the threshold, I saw a brighter world beyond myself

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  15. #15
    CrazyLove's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone for the kind thoughts and wishes!

    I had my Pet scan on thursday, I should know the results on Monday.

    This weekend Im partying like there is nothing wrong, heck, I feel fine!

    My birthday s Tuesday.

    Tam
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