AgeMatch.com - the best dating site for inter-generational lovers!  

Results 1 to 9 of 9
Like Tree7Likes
  • 1 Post By eponavet
  • 1 Post By theREALTrish
  • 3 Post By gorillagirl
  • 2 Post By NY10

Thread: How would you react if your mother said this to you?

  1. #1
    whoahnellie is offline Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    58

    How would you react if your mother said this to you?

    "You always flaunted your boyfriends in front of me ever since you were a teenager" during an argument

  2. #2
    eponavet's Avatar
    eponavet is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,221
    In the heat of the moment, I would probably say something snarky but afterwards I would probably apologize and understand that people say stupid **** when they are mad
    christina923 likes this.
    ~ You are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here, and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should ~



  3. #3
    theREALTrish's Avatar
    theREALTrish is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Rhode Island
    Posts
    1,262
    When I was a kid (probably 11 or 12....in 6th grade). a very unsttracitve boy had a huge crush on me. His mother even called my house to tell me how much he liked me. She said that he walked past my house all the time hoping to see me. Well, that creeped me out, and the fact that his mother called to talk to me, and tell me that told me that it wasn't right. Even at that young age, I knew his mother shouldn't be talking to me about his feelings. She almost made it sound like she was planning our wedding.

    Anyway, after that, my step-mother said "You always attract the cream of the crop." I knew she was being sarcastic but, even now, 50 years later, that comment has stuck with me.

    I know my stepmother was a very cruel. troubled woman. I know I shouldn't remember, or think about, what she said. But, it had an effect on me that I've carried with me my entire life.

    Words leave impressions whether said in anger or said very calmly. Apparently, your mother has always had an issue with the boys/men that you've brought into your life. Maybe it's jealousy.

    If my stepmother was alive today and she made a comment like she did to me, I'd say something to her. If I were you, I'd ask my mother exactly what she meant by that remark. I would not give her a free pass and say "Oh, she just said that in the middle of an argument." Most of the time, words said in a disagreement, are what the person really feels.
    christina923 likes this.

  4. #4
    whoahnellie is offline Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    58
    My mom has major issues with men due to major abuse in her childhood. I have tried to help her with her issues since I was in my 20s. I have also tried to help her with physical problems she has. She used to get migraines and then started getting them everyday. I found out the company that made the drug she was taking had sent out a warning saying the recommended dosage was too high and people should cut back by half.. but she never heeded the warning.

    Anyway... I was quite floored when she said it. I told her the next day it was really bothering me (this was when I was living with her taking care of her during cancer). She said "Well maybe thats because there is some truth in it!" I was floored again and a few hours later I was flooded with memories of my whole life and could see in them the look on her face much of the time when I had boyfriends around was jealousy. I asked her to elaborate another day.. she said "Like you were looing at me like 'Poor mom.. cant find a boyfriend' " I told her I never thought that for a second... and I never did. My mom was very attractive and had her own house.. she was one of the first successful single mothers of the 70s. I mentioned the comment to a couple close female friends who also had daughters. They said they thought it was very odd and they would never say it to their daughters.

    I brought it up a third time to my mother and she said "It was just a comment.. get over it." I tried to but it haunted me because it was so weird and I couldnt believe she thought I would do soemthing like that to her. I told her friends of mine said it was a very odd comment. She responded very angrily "Well my mother said weird things to me too!"

    I have not talked to her in 2 years now...in part because I'm tired of hearing about her problems and feel very slighted after trying to help her so long that is how she has felt about me my whole life. She is also jealous of my life in general it appears.

    I never would have imagined dealing with this at my age...this is the time I think of families coming more together when a parent is elderly yet I cannot bring myself to be around her anymore. In one of the heated conversations I said "You could apologize" She said she was sorry but it didnt seem sincere.

  5. #5
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Panama
    Posts
    4,095
    My mother and I are best friends. She has been supportive, caring, and all in all the best mother a person could have. I would not expect her to say anything like that. My initial reaction to such a comment from someone's mother is that she is jealous of her daughter, but again, that would be a foreign concept to me as applied to my own mother.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  6. #6
    gorillagirl Guest
    you haven't talked to your mom in 2 years. let it go.

  7. #7
    NY10's Avatar
    NY10 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    New York, NY
    Posts
    910
    My mom has said some horrible things to me in the past, she suffers from bi-polar disorder and my childhood was rough with her, but ever since I moved out and she began medication we have grown closer. The things she has done and said to me are still with me everyday but I have moved on and forgiven and it is what it is. I know my life and I don't really speak to her about my private life at all.

    As far as jealously and saying horrible things now she never does and is actually very supportive of my relationship and the choices I've made in life.

    If you have had no relationship for 2 years than keep it that way. My birth father left when I was a child and came back for a short time a few years ago and has been gone again for a year now. He never contributed anything useful to my life and him and his family were toxic and horrible people. Just because you share DNA and they are "family" does not mean a thing. If you are a toxic person or you are just a miserable unhappy individual you are not allowed in my life no matter who you are.
    gorillagirl and legallyblonde like this.

  8. #8
    legallyblonde Guest
    That's one of those things I'd forget and move onto the next topic. Trust me, I have to do this kind of thing with my mom too. Feelin' ya!
    Ali

  9. #9
    legallyblonde Guest

    If you haven't spoken to her in two years, what brought this up now?

    Quote Originally Posted by whoahnellie View Post
    My mom has major issues with men due to major abuse in her childhood. I have tried to help her with her issues since I was in my 20s. I have also tried to help her with physical problems she has. She used to get migraines and then started getting them everyday. I found out the company that made the drug she was taking had sent out a warning saying the recommended dosage was too high and people should cut back by half.. but she never heeded the warning.

    Anyway... I was quite floored when she said it. I told her the next day it was really bothering me (this was when I was living with her taking care of her during cancer). She said "Well maybe thats because there is some truth in it!" I was floored again and a few hours later I was flooded with memories of my whole life and could see in them the look on her face much of the time when I had boyfriends around was jealousy. I asked her to elaborate another day.. she said "Like you were looing at me like 'Poor mom.. cant find a boyfriend' " I told her I never thought that for a second... and I never did. My mom was very attractive and had her own house.. she was one of the first successful single mothers of the 70s. I mentioned the comment to a couple close female friends who also had daughters. They said they thought it was very odd and they would never say it to their daughters.

    I brought it up a third time to my mother and she said "It was just a comment.. get over it." I tried to but it haunted me because it was so weird and I couldnt believe she thought I would do soemthing like that to her. I told her friends of mine said it was a very odd comment. She responded very angrily "Well my mother said weird things to me too!"

    I have not talked to her in 2 years now...in part because I'm tired of hearing about her problems and feel very slighted after trying to help her so long that is how she has felt about me my whole life. She is also jealous of my life in general it appears.

    I never would have imagined dealing with this at my age...this is the time I think of families coming more together when a parent is elderly yet I cannot bring myself to be around her anymore. In one of the heated conversations I said "You could apologize" She said she was sorry but it didnt seem sincere.

    See thread title!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •