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Thread: Ever have a period you just hate everyone? even your hunny?

  1. #1
    Pickles's Avatar
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    Ever have a period you just hate everyone? even your hunny?

    I am so sour this past couple weeks. I find no pleasure in food, my chosen entertainment of games, books, my children, my man.
    I can be grumpy sometimes but this is like a hostile version of "depression".

    I feel a general malaise, I have a cold. But that isn't it. I turn 50 this year which funks me a little but i exaggerate my horror. The last of my retirement money is dissipating. The game I OCD on is just lusterless after years of enjoyment. I'm still hormonally stable and it is not THAT time presently.

    I could easily punch first person who knocks on my door tomorrow and shrug.

    Everything annoys me, I sound like I have tourettes most the week. I don't think any THING is bothering me alone. Maybe it is just combination of so many little bummers?
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    fiorinda's Avatar
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    At 49 you are unlikely to still be 'hormonally stable'. Hormone function and fertility start to decline from our mid 20s, and perimenopause can last up to 10 years. So it could well be a factor. Maybe you could get your hormone levels checked. I don't know much about depression but it sounds like you may be suffering it. Hope things get brighter for you soon!

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    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
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    I have never had such period of hating everybody. There are days when I am in a bad mood because something specific happened to me, but it only lasts a few hours.

    I am 56, soon I will be out of my 50s and into my 60s. I am not dreading that. Time just happens.

    What I would be concerned about is retiring money dissappearing. I do not understand. What provisions do you have for old age?
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  4. #4
    Pickles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fiorinda View Post
    At 49 you are unlikely to still be 'hormonally stable'. Hormone function and fertility start to decline from our mid 20s, and perimenopause can last up to 10 years. So it could well be a factor. Maybe you could get your hormone levels checked. I don't know much about depression but it sounds like you may be suffering it. Hope things get brighter for you soon!
    After I recovered from that food poisoning and pregnancy loss last year, I was actually tested just last last year to see if perimenopause/menopause is close.
    My family is mutants that don't hit menopause til near 70 years (average is about 65 when kids stopped in the generation just before me). My left ovary was immature and nonfunctioning until I was 39 when it came online and I had my youngest child. I used to be in fertility clinics a lot because of a physical malfunction until they pinpointed and corrected it. But hormone monitoring was part of that package. A 20 minute surgery and then bang.. kids.

    That revealed, I monitor my ovulation and periods for birth control anyway. There is hiccup maybe every 15-18 months and steady on as a Mayan calender otherwise.

    Goes for grey hair as well. My mom is just starting to grey. Grandma didn't until she was 87. I am greying youngest but Im a redhead. My ginger dad was whiteheaded by age 30.

    If not for the test last year I would have suspected the start of menopause though.
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  5. #5
    Pickles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SheLikesKitties View Post
    I have never had such period of hating everybody. There are days when I am in a bad mood because something specific happened to me, but it only lasts a few hours.

    I am 56, soon I will be out of my 50s and into my 60s. I am not dreading that. Time just happens.

    What I would be concerned about is retiring money dissappearing. I do not understand. What provisions do you have for old age?
    Barely any after a lifetime of working and saving..nuked to near nothing recently.

    I am a little uptight on my age because I am returning to workforce soon. Or I would not give it a second thought since I am am healthy and look not too shabby.
    My savings was a 401k that a business started and Army contributed to.

    My 401 k got hit very badly by the mini-crash a few years back. My 401 k now stands at 6k. That's it. From 600k back in 1999 that got tanked to 472 in 2002. 15 years military as well as working in private security and having my own business (also wiped by divorce as he insisted on liquidation and split, even though he had not personally invested) all for nothing. I have been holding viable taxable jobs since I was 10 years old. And I have the same amount saved now as I did as a teen.
    11 years ago I had to roll it over to grab assets from it that were eaten up by family court battles (a divorce that took 4 years and a separate legal custody battle that took 3). I was working PT and in Nat'l Guard for doing half of my own court legwork with my paralegal experience and tapping an attorney for follow throughs. The penalty when I rolled over and withdrew a portion was horrid. My unexpected pregnancy at the same time period with my son having autism like his dad's folk also had me dipping into it because i was not working while seeking the medical for his sudden illness after a fever. I also have to pay child support when my X has the kids (daughter emancipated and left and forgave debt. she is in college and he cant touch her trust anymore).

    I have made my peace with most of that though I was real bitter when it was fresh.

    I presently caretake my mother and son, both disabled. With exception when she went off in remarriage, I have "raised" my mother since I was 7 and dad had a locked desk that I had checkbook to take care of household bills with any time he was working in another country or out of town.
    I do feel so trapped I could scream. But that feeling is occasional. I am usually content if not happy.
    The LDR is also taxing. The relationship itself is fine. He finished the bachelor's and works in IT right now saving money up. It will be a relief to have another viable adult in the household. specially one that has conversation, education and interests in common (and I am presuming that steady physical contact instead of annual, will relieve some too. Gotta love those endorphins)

    But lately EVERYthing bugs me and my temper is not under its normal control.

    I do HATE my location.
    It is Podunkatory with inbred Fred as the gate guardian. Only fun I ever had here was ages 10-12.And even that was sprinkled with year of outgrowing clothes, growing through my shoes, and eating bean soup every day because i helped the 99 yr old blind woman next door with her tilled land and she fed us. ( local bred loser she married without checking the legality of her divorce didnt want to work any job beneath him, so didnt work and used all her modestv money and assets within 2 years) Pretty area. It has been an economic DEAD zone since NAFTA and loss of the Textile Industry. It was not employment central even previous. Everytime... I swear never to step foot here again, my mom moves here with her lousy friend/surrogate daughter and I come bailing her out. It may sound callous but I am glad that woman died last year. But it takes about 3 years of scrimping and working dog jobs that illegals refuse in order to get escape velocity. This is time # 3. And with that woman dead no one to beg her back here with promises of funner freer life being cared for than living with stodgy, bossy real daughter who doesn't even have restricted foods in house much less allow to consume and looks for physician advice.

    I have a full plate. It has been so for years, so it is a little late in day to be bothered NOW.
    I have down days, I cant be happy 24/7. Doesn't mean I need purple happy smile cloud pills. I think I am allowed a down day or two with the way things are. I get annoyed and impatient. I suspect my Asperger's deadens me to most outside annoyances because I don't actually register them.

    But I am not used to being angry and not being able to work myself beyond it, specially over nothing. And this is coping skill i learned young with hereditary hiccups that effect the adrenal gland combined the asthma correction steroids that occasional raise my androgen and testosterone levels to maniacal (made me a popular jock in school ..). My feeling since young was that it is respectful to myself and other people not to share my bad mood with them since it isn't their fault I'm crabby.

    I've heard women I am in acquaintance with over the years and who act this way call it their PMS all the time, so I assumed maybe it is a normal thing for some folk.

    So I was wondering if any ladies (or even gents) here had an episode and when did it go away or what they did to smooth it through.

    So far it seems not an average then. *sigh&*. Maybe some melatonin and extra sleep will help
    Last edited by Pickles; 01-06-2015 at 12:45 PM. Reason: Butter...erm bitter
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  6. #6
    MissMuffins's Avatar
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    If you've been feeling this way for more than 2 weeks, I think it would be wise for you to make an appointment for a physical exam to include thorough bloodwork which tests your blood sugars, thyroid function, hormonal, electrolyte and vitamin levels.

    Our hormones regulate more than our menses and fertility.

    If one's blood sugar is out of whack, that can cause mood shifts. So can thyroid, electrolyte and vitamin deficiency or excess.

    It could be you're emotionally exhausted. Caretaking, even when one is long accustomed to it, is exhausting.

    It could be you just need to "get outside and blow the stinks off," as my mother & grandmother used to say. There's much to be said for a twice-daily 10 minute walk in daylight hours, no matter what the climate or the weather.

    Re-arrange your furniture. "A change is as good as a vacation," as my second ex husband says.

    MM

    PS:
    If you have a combustion appliance in your home (ie heating equipment, water heating equipment and/or cookstove that runs on natural gas, propane, heating oil or burns wood), immediately check your CO alarm to make sure it is installed correctly and functioning. If you have a combustion appliance--whether permanently installed or portable--and do not have a CO alarm, or the CO alarm is not properly installed, or the CO alarm is not functioning, stop using the appliance immediately and do not resume its use until you install a CO detector. Get some fresh air into the house, and make an appointment to have your blood CO levels checked. Low level CO exposure can cause malaise & flu-like symptoms.
    Last edited by MissMuffins; 01-07-2015 at 12:31 AM.
    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

  7. #7
    gorillagirl Guest
    pickles,
    i don't know anyone with asperger's who is capable of being a full time caregiver to themselves, let alone to a mom and a kid. you need some serious down time. create some for yourself. have you been diagnosed with asperger's cuz you don't seem to fit the standard criteria... http://blogs.psychcentral.com/wellne...gers-syndrome/

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    I am a younger woman and have felt this way before. About a year and half ago I went through a horrible bout of depression. I was miserable in life and NOTHING and NO ONE could or would make me happy. I was angry 24/7 and filled with rage and anger and the smallest things would set me off in a horrible way. I lost someone I loved very much and was not in the best company and that triggered a lot of it but it was very bad for a long time. My relationship suffered to the point we almost ended it more than once. Nothing I did was good and towards the end I was scared for my safety and those around me.

    I decided to seek some help and found out that I was very depressed and the help of therapy and medication turned my world around. Within a month I was the same old person and happier than I have ever been.

    I look back now at that time and cringe of how much I put people through and especially what I put myself through.

    I'm not sure what exactly is going on with you because for the longest time I didn't know what was going on with myself but maybe maybe an appointment with your doctor to talk about things (I went to my normal doctor first) and see their option can help open some doors for you.
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  9. #9
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
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    Pickles, you have reasons to be angry. You are burning the candle on both ends. Lack of sleep does make things worse. Do you have relatives or friends that could help you have some time off and regroup?
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    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  10. #10
    Pickles's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Feeling less maniacal. Still emotionally exhausted. It was good to know no one thought i was crazy***** future cat lady.
    Plus Hunny has a way of subtlely cajoling my mood to a happier state and then good news cinched it.
    Still, if he can do that lifelong , I might last past my expiration date by a long margin >_<

    Had my checkup. finally could afford it. I wanted to do it before trip to Poland... and Hunny asked *sigh*

    Heart good
    Cholesterol Good
    Thyroid good (got tested for goiter because my throat was swelled from allergies
    GTT was good though on grey area of good for their taste so a second test for 2 hrs was needed.
    I will go to dermatologist on suspicious skin area ( does run in family to have skin cancer and i was sun bunny)
    Might change my migraine meds after he checks a few things.
    My Allergies are sensitized and my asthma is aggravated right now. They are gonna double check COpd or CPOD or some such. I admitted smoking but i really did only smoke a pack every few months for about three years.
    Also I have calcium and phosphorus leeching suspected because my ferritin is high despite careful diet
    Suggestion strong that my compromised wisdom tooth needs to be removed.
    An admonition that I need to stay better hydrated,


    Recent Pap + was good.

    Only test I refuse is mammogram , the pain and tissue damage from last atomic titty twist took 4 years to recover. And the lump _I_ found? still there the calcified whatsit they biopsied but didn't bother to remove. I think maybe when I'm 60 I will. Or when menopause eventually hits.
    And I wasn't gonna foot bill for the colonscopy. Not gonna have it anytime soon ...thx.
    They wish I would say yes to back surgery to put back the popped ribs (um NO. Pain1-2 times a year as opposed to a bad surgery crippling me lifelong. No optional there. I chose paranoia of worse case). I do have some job related hearing loss. But not bad and still the same as 10 years ago.
    My new glasses I am getting are lighter prescription though my eyes will be checked for iron deposits this summer because something they saw. So far I have avoided bronze diabetes.

    They think I need to lose 20 lbs and adjusted my steroid based medications. He thinks Prednisone use is key to depression and so another drug or supplemental can balance things. He also think it could be depression and caregiving.
    They think I need some time off. Heh. Yeah.

    All and all the check up improved my mood greatly even though the financial aspect of it stressed me. I am glad being a veteran covered a good portion of the exams and only the dermatologist, dentist and meds will effect my budget


    To answer one question: My main support base is in Arizona, with Texas and California family sprinkled in. These are all 4000 miles away from me : (



    And to answer different question. My first diagnosis of Aspergers was in 1966 my dad took me to every specialist. I had speech thearpy, music therapy and had my own horse. Swimming therapy, dark room therapy and "burrito" I have no idea what offical name was... my second test when I turned 15. Doctors used those original records for years. My last diagnosis they called something different Autism Spectrum Disorder. That was after a head injury and car accident in 1994 because I had to have a full range of tests for the damage and recovery. At age 50-I still cant tell time or tie my shoes, never could. Have speech impediment. Agorophobia mild, OCD. Before humane "acceptance" they coddle today with; I was put through grueling regime of accepting touch, available fabrics, and smells. Modulating my voice, I had singing lessons. I was in private school most my elementary years. And my hobby along with measuring items in my room obsessively to be sure it was absolutely symmetrical, color coding clothes and hangers, ironing everything including my underwear and arranging the cabinets....was people, why do they do that and facial expressions; so least that was helpful. I can't stand fluorescent lighting. the sound of people in a mall makes me cry and leave if I am there more than an hour. I don't like to be crowded, I don't like being touched and even at age 50 if someone sprays my face I will likely try to kill them if I recover before they run far enough away. I cannot abide water on my face. Rain , Shower, spray of any sort.
    So from that I say I have Aspergers. Likely my mom too ( a math genius that was illiterate and severely antisocial til about age 40). If it is found to be something else in some future breakthrough in medical well... it will be called that. It is hereditary for sure. Ironically, very one of us that carries full HFE has it too. We do not have autism til my son; but several Aspi in generation earlier and one in my generation have been diagnosed. Two were professors at University of Texas. 3 are engineers. One auntie has it, the rest are uncles.

    All Now You Know stuff... ^_^
    I normally concentrate more about my AGR when here. I vent about this or that on occasion; but I feel like I'm whining when I lay out my lot in life from the beginning breath as a 'blue baby" ^_^ There have been some tragic tough breaks but as a whole my life is not the worst out there and my happy ever seems around the corner. But I often wonder if my inability to understand certain behaviors of people or even myself is the Asperger's or just that humans are whack. And my mood tanking so hard core without a major event was unusual to how i assume people are supposed to be.

    BTW we did have a propane portable heater running during the cold snap last month. Not worth getting CO monitor now that we don't use it. But now I wonder.
    Last edited by Pickles; 02-21-2015 at 10:55 PM. Reason: lol age 49 not 40
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  11. #11
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
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    I am glad you are feeling better. You are a tough cookie! You should be proud of yourself.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  12. #12
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    Because your ferritin is high, I'd suggest being checked for hemochromotosis. If you aren't familiar with it, Google it. I was diagnosed with it about a year and a half ago.
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  13. #13
    Pickles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by theREALTrish View Post
    Because your ferritin is high, I'd suggest being checked for hemochromotosis. If you aren't familiar with it, Google it. I was diagnosed with it about a year and a half ago.
    HFE mum is double carrier full blown has 2 dif complete copies and it confirmed by dna testing at VA in 2002, grandpa had it found out 1993, grandma had it found out 2008. Many of Grandma's family line just found they had it while doing dna for the surname. 3 Prewitt's have it, the math professors and a few of their sons ^_^
    But it is so common and so preventable... it should always be a suspect cause of multiple symtoms.

    And relationship is having another down swing almost 12 months later .. Coinky dink , eh? Though I am just sad and tired. New meds for asthma and migraines have less impact on my mood
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