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Thread: Need some advice

  1. #1
    melodioussoul is offline Neophyte
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    Need some advice

    Hi everyone,

    I know I haven't posted a lot on here these days, and this is a long post, so please bear with me. So I've met someone pretty special recently, and I'm just wondering at this point what I should do. I generally like to go out dancing on weekends, particularly Saturday nights. I've found one place I really like, so I'm pretty much always there. Well one night I was on the dance floor and there was a lady who appeared to be just dancing by herself. I was attracted to her smooth moves, so I tapped her on the shoulder and complimented her on them. We danced together for the rest of the evening until the club closed. Nothing really came of that, but then I saw her again another night, and this time it was the exact opposite situation. I was dancing by myself and she tapped me on the shoulder. This happened not once, but two or three times. I'm not used to this kind of attention from a lady, so I didn't really act on it.

    Anyway, flash forward a time or two and one night we're dancing together and decide we both need some air, so we go outside and just talk. I learn that she has two young kids, the older one being 11, and that she's also really into the arts, even having a job in the field. To my pleasant surprise, one of these nights when we were outside of the club taking a breather, she asked for my number because she mentioned checking out a new spot besides the one where we always dance together. So since we've exchanged numbers, we check in through text basically weekly to see when/if we plan on going dancing again the coming weekend, and we usually do.

    The night usually ends with us just walking each other to our cars, hugging, and saying goodbye, but I think I'm ready to do something a little different. I genuinely feel some kind of way when I'm with her, and it's good. The way she smiles when she sees me, laughs, and of course dances, I just love and I really wanna see if we can take things beyond the dance floor. The funny thing is, I was convinced I wasn't interested in dating a lady with a child again because I tried that before and it didn't work out, but I'm thinking it was just the wrong person before. She has mentioned her kids several times and I find myself really being okay with it, and actually looking forward to one day meeting them (and especially playing video games with them because she's told me they're into that). We seem to have a lot in common so far in terms of our ideals and what we're into. This is the most genuine, organic connection I've made with a lady in nearly 5 years, so I feel like I should do something about it.

    My main concerns now are that she won't be interested in me because our lives are a little different, with her having kids and me not having kids, and her being divorced and me never having even been in a long term relationship. Additionally, although she hasn't told me her age (I haven't asked, and I don't care), I'm thinking she's at least early thirties with the two kids, assuming she was at least 18 before she had the older child. She could be even older than 30s though and just have a really young face, I don't know. I'm hoping she wouldn't think I'm too young for her at 27, and looking younger than that myself, more like 18.

    So I guess my question is, should I just go for it already? We did dance together last night, and I thought about asking her on a date, but didn't because I just couldn't get myself to. The last time we hung out before this, was before the holidays, and I decided to hold off then, well because the holidays were coming, and after a conversation we'd had when she mentioned a recent breakup, I figured the timing wasn't right. But after an exchange last night when she said she was hungry because she hadn't eaten dinner before going out, I figured maybe next time I'll just ask her if she'd like to out for dinner sometime, perhaps even before we go dancing one night. What do you think?
    Pickles likes this.

  2. #2
    fiorinda's Avatar
    fiorinda is offline Senior Member
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    It's my experience that people generally don't bother making friends with members of the opposite sex in the way you've described unless they're physically attracted to them (I say generally. obviously there are exceptions), so there's a fairly high chance she would be delighted if you asked her out to dinner. She did, after all, ask you for your phone number. I'd say it's a pretty sure bet she likes you and would like to become further involved.

    How old either of you are is a non-issue (especially if you think she might be in her early 30s and you're in your late 20s - imagine those ages were reversed. NO-ONE would think it odd if a man of 32, say, dated a 27 year old woman!!). Even if the age gap is larger, she's just a woman and you're just a man. Your ages are irrelevant (lifestyle, experiences etc less so).

    Ask her out. What's the worst that can happen?
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  3. #3
    gorillagirl Guest
    I doubt she'd be dancing EXCLUSIVELY with you if she didn't really like you. Ask her out. If she says no, then hopefully she'll stay your dance partner. Good luck!
    melodioussoul likes this.

  4. #4
    melodioussoul is offline Neophyte
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    Thank you for the responses and encouragement! I'm definitely feeling better about making a move. If anything, I should feel pretty lucky that she does choose to dance with me and only me each time we meet up. We'll see how this goes...

  5. #5
    kilny's Avatar
    kilny is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by melodioussoul View Post
    Thank you for the responses and encouragement! I'm definitely feeling better about making a move. If anything, I should feel pretty lucky that she does choose to dance with me and only me each time we meet up. We'll see how this goes...
    " But after an exchange last night when she said she was hungry because she hadn't eaten dinner before going out,"

    This may have been a hint? Maybe she was wanting to go out for something to eat that evening?
    Life is short, Live it with all your heart, love and passion.

  6. #6
    melodioussoul is offline Neophyte
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    So...after hanging out again and again, I finally asked where things were going, and she said she just wants to be friends. That was kind of upsetting, but it didn't really bring me down. It was just a little surprising given all of the attention, along with the fact that this situation of a woman asking to hang out with me every weekend isn't exactly something I'm used to. I've moved on though, and am optimistic. I can't wait to see what the future brings, and whom I'll meet. It's exciting to think about!

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