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Senior Member
Do older women in general want male partners younger than themselves? Judging by the situtation at a Swedish free mainstream dating site (Dating på Nätet - Gratis Dejting - Träffa Singlar | HappyPancake | HappyPancake) the answer is yes. Not in an extreme sense, few 70+ women want 20 years old men, but many of them want 60 years old men. I use this dating site myself and I noticed this phenomenon, so I made a little statistical survey (no scientific claims).
The phenomenon is most clearly seen for 70+ women. I checked the profiles of 41 70+ women at the site (the first 41 i found) and of them:
16 want men strictly younger than themselves (eg a 71 years old woman wants a man 60-70)
6 want men with an upper age limit equal to their own ages (eg a 74 years old woman wants a man 57-74)
16 want men in an age interval whose average is less than their own age, but includes it (eg a 70 years old woman wanta man 60-72)
1 wants a man in an age inteval equal to her own age (a 70 years old woman wants a man 65-75)
2 want men in an age interval whose average is greater than their own age but includes it (eg a 71 years old woman wants a man 58-85)
0 want men with a lower age limit equal to their own ages (eg a 73 years old woman wants a man 73-80)
0 want men strictly older than themselves (eg a 70 years old woman wants a man 75-80)
I think this is very interesting, since traditionally, women have been younger than their partners. As I said, few extreme agegaps. Of these 70+ women, the most extreme is a 76 years old woman who wants a man 45-65.
Of course, one possible explanation is that the supply of reasonably healthy men older than themselves is limited. The effect also weakens the younger the women are. I have no statistics supporting this but I made this observation. For example, women in their thirties seem to want sligthly older men than themselves, on average. And of course, the youngest women on the site, the 18 year olds, cannot search for younger guys at this site, because of its rules.
What do you think? Will the same hold true for older women in other countries too, at least for women at dating sites? Anyone who wants to make a survey?
And if it holds in general, how can it be explained?
Odd Even
i'm very single now, unfortunately, zero romantic interests, but only want a younger man for one reason- more sexual stamina than an older man.
as of today, i am no longer interested in VYM and would not consider dating anyone with more of a 10 year age gap either older or younger. i could change my mind in the future but...
Last edited by gorillagirl; 03-23-2016 at 08:46 PM.
Senior Member
I'd go 20 years younger but only a few years older. However, I have no romantic interest now and I'm not sure if I'll ever get it back.Originally Posted by gorillagirl
i definitely WANT a boyfriend/lover/FWB but at this point, i haven't met anyone who is suitable...esp. cuz i'm only interested in vegan men. and they are only interested in younger skinny women. LOL.
Senior Member
I continue my little survey at my dating site and find that most 40+ women prefer men somewhat younger than themselves or same age but not so much older.
Shall we conclude that the old spinster is no more, that any woman at any age who wants a man can find one? But perhaps not always a perfect man.... and women can afford to be a lot more selective than men....
Odd Even
odd even. most of my friends are women in our 50s and NOBODY is finding anyone decent enough to get involved with. these are middle class urban california women....
OW/YM 21YR GAP
My one single friend is looking for an older man. She is 62. I think that it depends on what are you looking for.
You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.
Senior Member
Not sure that number in total enough statistics to make a good control group. And I think they would change a lot by country/region.
My mother ends up with younger men as did her mother after widowhood married a younger guy, yet my mother originally married a man VERY much her senior. But my dad was a lively. open and learning personality that usually seems to cut off at 40. Older guys are more likely to be more than once divorced. Which can be a lot of baggage if you are looking for serious
In my case I have never liked my peers in general. When I was 16 I was interested in guys around 25-30 but by the time I was dating at 20, I couldn't stand anyone in my age group nor liked the generation that was turning 30 at that time. And though hypocritical since my ex filed and left me for younger woman, making me a divorcee? I don't touch divorcees.
Most of my friends stayed stable married. The ones that didn't, only a few go for younger gap than maybe 3 years, mostly guys that are older
This is all general; exceptions to the rule exist.
I would think widows would want a lil younger to not be the one left alone again, especially if they nursed spouse in the end days. Our gender does, after all, out last our counterpart by a good decade. Still racy would like young men for, their erm, physical assets like previously mentioned stamina. And other stereotype reasons (boytoy).
But really? I would venture guess is that a lot of those that have strict guidelines are sticking to what every gap they first sampled. Ideally in my case is if my YM had been 25 to my 40... but retrospect is quirky that way : 3 But honestly, thi srelationship sucked me in like a dessert menu. It had so many cherished ideal picket fence triggers, I allowed for it and havenot been disappointed. If this goes south for any reason (most likely the LDR might kill us) I am tired of trying at all anymore and likely will pursue finding happiness from living alone
............Unexpected pleasures are sweetest
Senior Member
I recently married my much younger man. But I didn't go looking for someone so young, it just happened.
Should I find myself single again some day I'd probably look for someone about 10 years younger than me for a couple of reasons. One being that it would probably take a bit younger man to keep up with me and be interested in similar things but also because I'd be so afraid of his dying on me. I've lost far too many people in my life, mostly family but some friends too. I honestly don't know if I can survive the death of a spouse. And remember, on average men tend to die several years younger than women.
Senior Member
In April 2014. I lost a younger man I was involved with. I was 61, he was 40. Last year, in 2015, I lost an older man.....well, if you consider 63 older. There's no guarantee, no matter what the age.
xoxoxoxox trish xoxoxoxox
Senior Member
Thanks, GG. The first anniversary of Tom's death was just on March 25. That year went by so fast and, yet, sometimes it feels like time just stood still. I still can't believe my younger man, Paul, is gone. He wasn't supposed to die before me. My daughter's father has been gone 25 years this past January. I'm no stranger to losing people I love. I learned too soon that there just aren't any guarantees.
i lost two girlfriends over the last 3 years. one was 35, one was 52 (my age at the time she died). there is never any guarantee. xoxo trish xoxo
Senior Member
I've lost so many people in my life, all age ranges, I do understand. It makes me a bit paranoid though I think, something I have to be careful about.
I remember reading about you losing your YM, I'm so very, very sorry.
Senior Member
Thank you, Luna. I just remind myself that my loves who've passed away wouldn't want me to be sad. So, I try to remember them with happy tears instead of sad ones.
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