Pet Peeve

I've been a member of Ageless since 2002. My membership date doesn't reflect that because I left for awhile for personal reasons. I don't always post a lot but I read everything and I'll add my thoughts if I think they're worth it.

There's something that goes on here, and it's always happened, that someone will join the forum, ask for help, people give their advice, and the original poster (OP) doesn't even bother to come back and acknowledge that they read the posts that members took their time to write.

Maybe they don't hear what they want to hear so they just leave. But, c'mon folks, you tell us your story, which opens you up to maybe hearing from people who don't agree with you. At least, have the decency to respond. You can say you don't agree but "thanks for the input". Or if you don't want to hear it then DON'T ASK.

People respond based on their own experiences, or on the experiences of others they've observed. At least have the respect and appreciation to realize that.

Our lives are busy and full all on their own. We don't sit around wondering who's going to post on Ageless because they're having a problem in their own life. When we take the time to respond, appreciate it. Otherwise, don't bother.

Absolutely!! This happens so often - usually, like you say, when the OP isn't hearing the answers they want to hear! I think it's made a lot of members feel like they don't want to expend the effort to give a response. Then people complain that the forum is so quiet, or that they've asked for advice and it's slow coming or doesn't come at all.

I think it's still good to respond as non-members still read it and there's often very good info.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LunaLove

I think it's still good to respond as non-members still read it and there's often very good info.

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Well, we never know who'll return and who won't, so we do respond. That makes us more polite and caring than the ones who don't reply to our posts. lol!

I don't think the ones that disappear after one post are rude. Or at least I don't assume so

It's non-issue to me unless it seems like someone throwing out some kind of troll and then skitters away. So many reasons to drop off....
Of course negative is didn't like answer.
But maybe nervous and changed mind on being exposed "out" in forum style.
Maybe they forgot name/password and then just gave up. People like my mom get easily frustrated on the internet when they have to go through several recovery steps. Scoffing it should be easy doesnt give powers to teh technically challenged
Maybe it went south before they could even figure what to do and so the hurt keeps them away. :c
Or it went so well they forgot they had any doubts or questions and were so deep in the lovebird stage they forgot they posted anywhere XD

I don't log in as often because "quiet" but I do check around the sections that relate to me. If a post seems something I have any light o shime on, i'll throw some pennies at it.

Some people may be more comfortable just lurking or they have found an answer they were looking for.

I guess I'm more of a lurker and reader on most of the forums I belong to. There is so much to do and so little time.:yes:

Hello,

When I joined Ageless (in Aug. - Sept. of 2015, took awhile to get approved), I posted to the New Members thread, assuming it was the best place to start. It wasn't the longest post by any means, but long enough that I shared some of my story and why I was here. Not one person acknowledged that post, even though other people came after me and posted introductions of themselves and were welcomed.

Not saying all that to call anyone out or complain that "no one bothered to say hi to me." I'm a big girl, I can take it. The reasons for this could be anything -- the site doesn't appear to be super active and I chose to accept that perhaps this was why no one responded to my post.

I have also posted responses to other members' posts -- not much, but a couple times -- and one member was kind enough to send me a PM answering my posts. Which I truly did appreciate :)

I guess I said all that to say this: it does work both ways. Normally a lurker on forums, it wasn't necessarily easy for me to put myself out there and post. I was hopeful, though, because being in an age gap relationship isn't something I can easily find support for. I understand that the pet peeve is when people come and ask a question or whatever and then don't come back to respond to those who've taken the time to engage with them, but it is also frustrating to post and have little to no response in return.

Like I said, I do think there are many reasons for both of these things, from real life things coming up so people don't come to post/respond to posts, to the sporadic activity of the board itself. Hopefully no one takes offense to anything I've said, it wasn't my intention to offend, just throw my two cents in. I would love to engage with any members on this board, even if it isn't as active as it once was :)

Things have become very delicate on the internet in the past few years. You can't have discussion anymore. They become debates or worse, arguments. People get really prickly when they feel they are being challenged when really all you are doing is trying to understand their point of view and asking questions. Everyone assumes everyone else is a troll.