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Thread: Update and Intro Thread

  1. #1
    whiterose's Avatar
    whiterose is offline Administrator
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    Post Update and Intro Thread

    For those that do not know me, my name is Katrina. Also known as Kat. User name here is Whiterose. I joined the site in June of 2003 after falling in love with a man 18 years younger than me who lived in another country. After a year of chatting, we met in person, and he asked me to marry him. We were engaged for a while, going through the visa application process. But, more and more he developed doubts. He wasn't sure he wanted to come here. And, I learned much later on, he had doubts about our age gap.

    I started here as a member, was promoted to mod, and then promoted later to admin. After serving as admin for several years, I decided to step down last summer. The owners asked me to return. I am very interested in keeping this site going as long as there is a need for AGR support, regardless if the need is less than when I first came here in '03.

    I'd like to get to know all of you who frequent the site these days. Whether you are an active poster, or lurker, please stop by this thread and post an introduction. And for all those who are still around who knew me when, would love an update on what's going on with you.

    So, a little more about me. I am 58 years old. Divorced. Two grown children. A son who is 32. He is married and has two little girls. My oldest granddaughter is named Natalie and she is 9 years old. Her little sister, Emme (pronounced like Emmy), is 3. My daughter is 22 and living at home while she finishes up her Bachelor's Degree.

    I am a Registered Nurse. But no longer provide patient care. For the past 24 years, I have worked in health insurance. Currently, I am in a Business Change Director position, which is a fancy title for a project manager who manages large scale projects.

    We have 2 dogs and 5 cats, most of which were brought home by my daughter. I have a soft heart and have trouble saying no, but am at my limit now.

    For the past 10 months since I stepped down, I have been busy with my job, but also threw an 80th birthday party for my mother last September. And, more recently, my mom and I drove down to Savannah, Ga. It was our first time there. LOVED IT. Now am back home and trying to make plans for some remodeling of my house and backyard.

    Hope you will take a moment to give me an update on you, or if you are new to me, please introduce yourself and tell me why you are here,

  2. #2
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    Sweetie28 is offline Mark's girl
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    Hello, I am fairly new to the AL when I joined in 2009. You can call me LJ. A little about me before I tell you what brought me here. I am 29 years old and will be thirty in June. I have always liked older men. I had my first age gap relationship when I was 18 with a man of 45 who lived in MN and I was in NM. I still lived at home and was attending community college. We met online and talked for nearly a year before he flew down for us to spend time together. I finally told my mom who went um nutty telling my brother (he's an adult) and his wife who went into "bad cop" mode on him. My mom even called him a pedophile (Yes, I was 18!). Anyway, I told LR to go back to MN and said I wouldn't see him again until I was twenty-five. Well, I wanted to protect him and he found another woman about two years later. I was in an on again off again relationship relationship with my ex (one year older, ten year relationship).

    I was depressed and unhappy. I could not find any decent guys in my area. The ones I did find either just wanted a hook-up (I was interested in a serious relationship only) or in a relationship (guy ten years older). So, I decided I was 22 now and old enough to make my own decisions and joined a Christian dating site. I talked to a couple of guys (my profile was set from age 25-45) who were just weird or wanted kids (I did not want kids and still do not). Well, I can't remember what Mark first messaged me but we started talking. I found out he was older than his profile (he forgot to change it to 47) which is good or we never would have met! We talked on Yahoo messenger a lot sometimes for hours at a time when I finally got the Internet back at my house. I was still living with my mom going to college online for a bachelor's degree. Mark and I talked for six months when I told my Mom about him and she blew up again saying he was too old for me, a pedophile, what's wrong with me, I'm wasting my youth.... So, I broke it off and was heartbroken and sad. I felt I was compromising what I wanted. After about a month I finally called Mark back and figured he'd blow me off but he told me how much he missed me and loved me and I admitted the same. We talked for year before we met in person. The first time we met was at a resturant within walking distance of my house. He'd said he was going to ask me to marry him when we'd talked (I didn't believe him) but he proposed in the parking lot! I accepted and we kissed. We met again when my Mom went on a cruise and I watched my brother's dog (I had gotten my Chihuahua, Mija by this time and walked her to a park nearby). He came with his minister and the minister's wife. We drove over to my house to talk. Mija tried to bite him He asked me to come up to spend a week with him and I agreed (he later told me he thought I'd chicken out!)

    I went to his house and I already knew he had a daughter who was 17. Long story short we got married within the week. Of course my family was not happy at all! Well fast forward six years later. We are happily married and very much in love. There is 24 years between us but I don't care or really think about it at all. His daughter was married, and now has her own daughter who is two. We still have Mija (a big daddy's Chihuahua now!), Misty (A Peke Mix) and London a Golden Retriever. I am a huge animal lover! I finally got a job teaching for pre-K. I am working on my doctorate. While we've been married I've gotten my bachelor's and master's degrees and we moved to Texas and a house which we love and each other! I am good friends with his daughter and my family loves Mark. His family loves me!

    My interests include reading, writing, animals, chess, anime, education, golden age animation, and many others. I am a Christian with a firm belief in my Savior. I have no children but a step-daughter. I lost my sister Sandy a year ago to cancer and am still reeling form it (she was 46). I have a niece and nephew and discovered my biological father's children (two sisters and a brother) and get to talk to them. I finally saw a picture of my biological father. I am still extremely close to my Mom and love her with all my heart and soul. She will be visiting in May!

    That's it in a nutshell folks!



  3. #3
    whiterose's Avatar
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    Thanks LJ for taking the time to post about yourself.

    Who is next?

  4. #4
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    I'm next.

    I was a real "loser" in the 1980s when I was in my 20s. I couldn't get a date with a dragonfly! To make matters worse, I was behind in my studies (24 and still in community college going for my A.A. in Computer Science). I think all of those things contributed to making me aware of my attraction to younger women. All my peers, classmates and fellow church members were early 20s and getting married. I was years away from even being able to move out. I saw myself being in my 30s and still single. One day a friend of mine took me to Armond's for lunch. He was an evangelical fundamentalist Christian with strict moral beliefs. Surprisingly, he didn't mind that I ordered a margarita. As we sat there talking, and the drink started to hit me, I opened up to him about my girl problem. I said something like, "Yeah, I'm 23 now, but what if I don't find someone until I'm 28 and she's 20?" His response was, "Then you've got a problem!". Really? Eight years? A problem? Pleeeze!!!! From then on I started to notice the disapproval of age gaps; on TV, in tabloid news articles, movies, and even in some popular songs. Even people at work used to rib me about it. I just wanted what all my friends had, but because I was late in life, I wouldn't be able to achieve it until later.

    By the time I was 26, in the mid '80s, I had discovered the wonderful world of personals advertising (remember, it was the '80s, no such thing as "online"). I had placed several ads in the Sheela Wood column of Globe Magazine and had some early success with it. My thinking was that if a girl in my preferred age range answered my ad, then it meant she was Ok with my age, and either her parents were Ok with it, or she didn't care what her parents thought. I also felt that, statistically, if I expose myself to enough people, then eventually someone I like is going to like me. My first "girlfriend" got pregnant by a guy in her school before I even met her, the second one lived in a trailer and was a bleeding heart with a chip on her shoulder. The only reason she even hung on was becasue of pressure from her mother and grandmother to marry me. It was a mess!

    I finally had my first "real" girlfriend, if you want to call her that, when I was 30 and she was 20. She was another mess! She was a chronic liar with a severe insecurity problem. I couldn't even eat in restaurants with her, she was so afraid of public places. It was 1988, and she said in her ad that she "resembled Valerie Bertinelli". Not! Further, she told me that she was taking classes "at the college". It turns out that those "classes" were for her GED because she had flunked out of high school. They were held on a college campus, so she wasn't "lying". I had the hardest time breaking up with her, because she was the first girl who ever showed a real interest in me. But in the end I knew I had to. We broke up that fall.

    Fast forward to the early 1990s. I finally made enough money, living in the D.C. area, to afford a one-bedroom condo so I moved out of my parents' house. I was 32. During my fist year at the Racquet Club (the name of my condo) responses to my ads in the Sheela Wood column had really dried up. I guess being over '30' was a deal-breaker! No matter what age range I specified in my ads, I either got no responses, or the women who wrote to me were mid/late 30s, divorced, had kids from previous marriage(s), some of them as old as 15. I was not ready for that!

    Then I discovered Cherry Blossoms. I know we're not supposed to "advertise" but I hope the admin will let this one slide. It was a paper circular advertising single young women from other countries, mostly the Philippines, who are seeking men internationally. I placed an ad in it, and in several other similar publications, and started to get a ton of letters from the Philippines. I was like a kid in a candy store! Those letters were from some of the most beautiful, gracious, polite and well-spoken women I had ever encountered, and the average age was about 19! During the spring and summer of 1991 I was in seventh heaven. My only "problem" was deciding whom to focus on, there were so many choices. Long story short, in the fall of 1992 I traveled over there to meet my girlfriend whom I had grown closest to. I had just turned 35, she had just turned 20. We got engaged, married on July 19, 1993, and she arrived after going through immigration the next July (yes, it can take that long!). We had our first kid almost immediately, a boy named Michael born in 1995. He is now an honor student at George Mason University in his junior year. Our other boy was born in 2004 and is 11 in the sixth grade. He is truly a delight. One of the surprises I wasn't expecting from marriage was how much I would love having children. Raising those two boys was is of the most meaningful experiences in my life!

    Anyhow, that's my story. I've told pieces of it in other posts, but I thought I'd elaborate here, since we're giving bios in this thread. I hope some of the folks here at AL know me better now.
    Last edited by SummerBob; 04-20-2016 at 03:32 AM.
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    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  5. #5
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    Great update! I definitely learned more about you. Thanks for sharing your story.

    I hope others will post their updates, or intros. I need to catch up on what is going on with everyone.

  6. #6
    gorillagirl Guest
    I'm Amy. I'm now 54. I was married in 1997 to a man 6 years younger. We are still technically married but separated for 5 years. He says he hasn't dated anyone since we split. Still friends, even discussing maybe selling our home in the Bay Area (California) to relocate somewhere cheaper and free of earthquakes and drought to get a multi-plex...one for him, one for me, one for his mom, etc...etc...but we're only in the discussion phase. I've had a few short term flings and a few long term relationships w/VYM and now I've been single/celibate for over 2 years, not dating, don't want any drama. I currently live with one of my ex-VYM as platonic roommates (our relationship began when he was 18.5 and now he's almost 25) and it's difficult. Neither one of us date so it's cool. We aren't involved intimately anymore for NUMEROUS reasons. We're still very much attracted and full of love (painful in many ways) but the sexual part doesn't work at all. For me, right now, no sex is easier. It's so complicated and emotionally painful when it's difficult. He keeps telling me he wants us to live happily ever after but his sexuality is so different from mine, it will never work. I can't fix or change my ex-VYM and that's been hard to accept....plus he's on the spectrum so he's "stuck in his ways," unwilling/unable to change and he's not maturing in *practical ways* like a typical person would...I'm vegan, atheist, child-free by choice, and currently obsessed with climate change, arctic methane, tipping points, and near-term-human-extinction. It's gonna be a rough ride towards 2050 for all of us. For me, relationships are completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of planetary eco-system collapse. Any hypothetical future relationships will be with men with no more than a 10 years age gap. VYM are not for me anymore. But I don't see it happening. I really miss sex but I don't miss the emotional ups and downs.
    Last edited by gorillagirl; 04-22-2016 at 01:07 PM.
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  7. #7
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    My turn.

    My back story:

    In 1995 I married a slightly older man, I was 30 and he was 36. I admit that I wasn’t totally in love with him but was looking for security. He turned out to be emotionally and mentally abusive and an alcoholic. We had an off and on relationship over the years, both of us leaving and returning at various times, mostly for financial and security reasons. We were living together but in separate parts of a shared house in 2009 when I started playing an online game. I quickly met a lot of people and formed some good friendships including my YM G.

    Then a few years ago an inheritance I received allowed me to finally get a divorce and buy my own home.

    Me and G:

    I met G a few months after I started playing the game (late 2009) and invited him to our in game guild. He lived in the mid-west and I’m on the west coast (in the US). He was only 17 back then. The guild was very busy in those days, with so many people playing all the time. I had purchased a voice server (Ventrilo) for the guild’s use so people could talk to each other. Evenings were especially busy and we’d often have around 10 people chatting in Vent. This went on for years. Many people coming and going over the years. However a few were always there, G included.

    G earned his AA from a community college and decided to attend an under graduate school in another city to go for his BS in engineering. He finally moved away from his parents and lived with a couple of other guys he’d attended community college with in a house they rented together. When he left home he became even more attached to me and we spent hours every single night for years talking in Vent and playing or watching TV together long distance.

    Then, three years ago we both realized how close we’d grown and I asked him if he wanted to visit me and he said yes. However he decided to tell his parents about it and they freaked out. His mother even called me on the phone and swore and called me names. It was bad. I had really forgotten to factor them into things, to me once he was 18 it was his decision, but with all the control issues with how they raised him he was having a hard time mentally breaking free. Anyway, after some long talks he decided to come for a week and not tell them. He was 22 when he visited the first time, I’ve written about it on this site already .... but basically it was wonderful.

    We took turns visiting about every 6 months until he finished school, deciding during that time that we wanted to be together permanently. Then last December (2015) he completed his last class for his degree, immediately packed up and I flew in and met him at an airport to make the long drive home together. His parents had no idea what he was planning and he contacted his aunt while we were on the road to let them know he wouldn’t be at the graduation ceremonies and that he was moving away. Then we got married in February which might seem sudden but we’d actually talked about it for years and we both felt ready. These are also stories I’ve already added to this site so I won’t go into more details here.

    He’s currently working a temporary evening job while looking for a “real” job in his field. He had a very important interview last week and they let him know they are interested and are arranging another interview for him.

    Currently I'm 53 and he's 24. We truly love being together as much and as close as we can be. I’ve never had such a good relationship in my entire life and feel like the luckiest woman alive.

  8. #8
    whiterose's Avatar
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    Great updates. Keep them coming!

  9. #9
    whiterose's Avatar
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    Any of you lurkers who are reading the thread ready to post your update or intro?
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  10. #10
    Sophia is offline Neophyte
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    I'm 40, he is 28. Been together for 6 years. I met him when I was divorced and alone with small children. He pursued me pretty hard and he has always been very good to me and the kids.

    I think the greatest thing about this type of relationship is that I have had the pleasure and honor to see him mature and grow. He was pretty childish when we met but now he is very much the man I hoped he'd become.

    The bad thing is I struggle with insecurities about looking old and not attractive enough. I compare myself to 20-year old girls and get depressed. This aspect of age gap relationships isn't easy. Doesn't matter how much reassurance he gives me.

  11. #11
    HotGrandma is offline Neophyte
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    Hello,

    I'm going to copy/paste what I wrote in the "New Members" thread - hope that's ok, just makes things easier, lol. I will add this update: my YM and I are still together, still very much in love, still keeping thing private, and our relationship is becoming even more - Wonderful? Committed? Intense? - yes, all those things - since I first joined. The issues are still there - his wanting children being the biggest - but our love has really flourished these past months, and although I can't see what the future will bring us, I feel so blessed to have what we do have in the here and now.

    Anyway, here is my story:


    Yay! Finally got approved

    (My computer skills are not the greatest so please bear with me). . .

    I'm 52, my man is 30. We've been together almost 2 years. We actually have known each other 5 years, we work together. It's kind of crazy how we got together - I was separated from my ex-husband (we've been divorced a little over 2 years but our marriage had been over long before we separated, he is 3 years older than I am, we have 5 children together, one of them being 28 years old) and my man was young, single and looking to find a girl his own age. In other words, we had no interest in each other. We started out as friends -- with me being more of an older sister/mother type figure and he filling the role of younger brother/son -- likely because I have children that are within his age range. The job we have requires us to pretty much work side by side, 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week. We got to know each other very well because of how much time we spent together at work, and he and I became friends outside of work as well. I even tried to set him up with my daughter (the 28 year old) at one point (didn't happen, but they've become casual friends).

    At some point, things shifted -- I could tell he was interested in pursuing a physical relationship with me and I felt the same way, so I let him know I was also interested and willing. We ended up entering into a physical thing -- kept it quiet from everyone, mainly because we didn't want work drama, and also because we knew our families would have a difficult time with it (we still have everything pretty much on the DL, for the same reasons, but I did tell my daughter (she is good with it) and I know some of my other children suspect we are "together" but don't feel they can come out and ask me if we are with each other. We've had a good time, obviously there have been things we've had to address between the two of us, but I am grateful that he has been very open and honest about what we're doing, what we see happening in the future, how we should handle everything.

    At some point, things shifted again and it became more than a physical thing. It became us falling in love with each other. And that's been somewhat trickier to deal with. For both of us. He would like to get married and have children at some point -- I have already done all that and am not able to have anymore children (not that I'd even want anymore at this point, I just became a grandma 2 months ago, yay!) and that is where the difficulty comes into play. He is in love with me and I am in love with him, but we both know it can't go anywhere long term. Yet we are unable to break it off. Or, I guess I should say I am unable to break it off - I try but I can't ever stick to my guns. I'm sure working together doesn't help -- if I didn't have to see him all the time it would be much easier to let him go. I go back and forth between "well, just enjoy what we have until it comes to its natural end" and "I need to stop this now before he finds someone else (not that he's looking, he says that no one will come close me - which is awesome to hear!), and I end up broken-hearted." Plus, you add in the "trying to keep it hidden" factor and it is just so hard.

    I honestly believe we are soulmates, as does he. Yet we both realize we will never be together forever. Some of the best moments of my life have come in the 2 year period we've been together. The same goes for him. And yet. It will have to end at some point, and I just don't seem to want to face that. And, as of right now, neither does he. So, that's basically where I'm at. I came across this forum when I was googling, "older women, younger men" relationships and just by reading here, I can see that these relationships can work. Which, that thrills me. But I am also not in so much denial that I don't realize, our age-gap love will not likely have that same happy ending I read about.

    But I've also learned to "never say never." Otherwise, I would miss out on SO MANY things. This being the greatest thing of all.

    That was very long, and I didn't even say nearly all I wanted to say,lol. But just wanted to say hello and how glad I am this place exists, I think I may need it.
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  12. #12
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    AmandaAlice is offline Senior Member
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    Me :)

    Hello all, I'm Amanda. Joined in Jan. 2013 according to my profile. My OM and I (we are 22 years apart in age) are married now, as of just this March, but we've been together for 8 years. We have a 6 year old son together, and our 8 year old black lab that we got as a pup. He works maintenance at a factory, and I work for my ex-step-father (he and my mom (she's since remarried, to a somewhat YM (9 years younger (I think) than she and my OM (who are same age)) divorced right around the same time as my OM and his ex, oddly enough) 7 days a week as his home health aide/housekeeper/personal assistant/chauffeur. When my husband and I first got together I was a bartender/waitress/cook at my family's bar/restaurant (wow, really into the slash marks and parentheses today it seems, lol). Then when our son was born, I was a stay-at-home mom until 2 years ago when the step-dad and his mom (who was just as much a grandma to me as the biological ones while growing up) both came down with health problems, I started going over there to help out and after she passed away, I kinda got stuck into staying on to help him, as with her passing he was left with the guardianship of his severely mentally-handicapped brother. This (very underpaid) work has just lately been causing some stress for us as we both get roped into doing everything over there all the time and no other family members or friends seem to want to help. Which, I totally don't blame them. But, it's getting stressful. Hoping to soon cut back our time over there and get back to our own little family. I'd also like to go back to school and get a degree. Though I'm close to turning 31, I never have figured out what I want to be 'when I grow up'. I've went from wanting to study history and English, to wanting to work in the veterinary field (even got certified as a vet assistant, though never used it), back to wanting to be an English major, and now I'm seriously wanting to go back and study bar/restaurant management and associated things. My family no longer owns that place, but I miss it, and now that I'm older, I think I'd rather enjoy getting back into that sort of business.
    Other than that update of sorts, my babe and I are still going strong. We never (that I know of) have problems associated with our age gap, and we're long past any of those stages of doubts and all that that goes with the early days of an AGR. My family has always been accepting of him, and his family of me. Maybe in the early days the may have muttered amongst themselves about it, I don't know as no one ever said anything to me, but by now it's all good.
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  13. #13
    whiterose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia View Post
    I'm 40, he is 28. Been together for 6 years. I met him when I was divorced and alone with small children. He pursued me pretty hard and he has always been very good to me and the kids.

    I think the greatest thing about this type of relationship is that I have had the pleasure and honor to see him mature and grow. He was pretty childish when we met but now he is very much the man I hoped he'd become.

    The bad thing is I struggle with insecurities about looking old and not attractive enough. I compare myself to 20-year old girls and get depressed. This aspect of age gap relationships isn't easy. Doesn't matter how much reassurance he gives me.
    Thanks for sharing your story!

  14. #14
    whiterose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotGrandma View Post
    Hello,

    I'm going to copy/paste what I wrote in the "New Members" thread - hope that's ok, just makes things easier, lol. I will add this update: my YM and I are still together, still very much in love, still keeping thing private, and our relationship is becoming even more - Wonderful? Committed? Intense? - yes, all those things - since I first joined. The issues are still there - his wanting children being the biggest - but our love has really flourished these past months, and although I can't see what the future will bring us, I feel so blessed to have what we do have in the here and now.

    Anyway, here is my story:


    Yay! Finally got approved

    (My computer skills are not the greatest so please bear with me). . .

    I'm 52, my man is 30. We've been together almost 2 years. We actually have known each other 5 years, we work together. It's kind of crazy how we got together - I was separated from my ex-husband (we've been divorced a little over 2 years but our marriage had been over long before we separated, he is 3 years older than I am, we have 5 children together, one of them being 28 years old) and my man was young, single and looking to find a girl his own age. In other words, we had no interest in each other. We started out as friends -- with me being more of an older sister/mother type figure and he filling the role of younger brother/son -- likely because I have children that are within his age range. The job we have requires us to pretty much work side by side, 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week. We got to know each other very well because of how much time we spent together at work, and he and I became friends outside of work as well. I even tried to set him up with my daughter (the 28 year old) at one point (didn't happen, but they've become casual friends).

    At some point, things shifted -- I could tell he was interested in pursuing a physical relationship with me and I felt the same way, so I let him know I was also interested and willing. We ended up entering into a physical thing -- kept it quiet from everyone, mainly because we didn't want work drama, and also because we knew our families would have a difficult time with it (we still have everything pretty much on the DL, for the same reasons, but I did tell my daughter (she is good with it) and I know some of my other children suspect we are "together" but don't feel they can come out and ask me if we are with each other. We've had a good time, obviously there have been things we've had to address between the two of us, but I am grateful that he has been very open and honest about what we're doing, what we see happening in the future, how we should handle everything.

    At some point, things shifted again and it became more than a physical thing. It became us falling in love with each other. And that's been somewhat trickier to deal with. For both of us. He would like to get married and have children at some point -- I have already done all that and am not able to have anymore children (not that I'd even want anymore at this point, I just became a grandma 2 months ago, yay!) and that is where the difficulty comes into play. He is in love with me and I am in love with him, but we both know it can't go anywhere long term. Yet we are unable to break it off. Or, I guess I should say I am unable to break it off - I try but I can't ever stick to my guns. I'm sure working together doesn't help -- if I didn't have to see him all the time it would be much easier to let him go. I go back and forth between "well, just enjoy what we have until it comes to its natural end" and "I need to stop this now before he finds someone else (not that he's looking, he says that no one will come close me - which is awesome to hear!), and I end up broken-hearted." Plus, you add in the "trying to keep it hidden" factor and it is just so hard.

    I honestly believe we are soulmates, as does he. Yet we both realize we will never be together forever. Some of the best moments of my life have come in the 2 year period we've been together. The same goes for him. And yet. It will have to end at some point, and I just don't seem to want to face that. And, as of right now, neither does he. So, that's basically where I'm at. I came across this forum when I was googling, "older women, younger men" relationships and just by reading here, I can see that these relationships can work. Which, that thrills me. But I am also not in so much denial that I don't realize, our age-gap love will not likely have that same happy ending I read about.

    But I've also learned to "never say never." Otherwise, I would miss out on SO MANY things. This being the greatest thing of all.

    That was very long, and I didn't even say nearly all I wanted to say,lol. But just wanted to say hello and how glad I am this place exists, I think I may need it.
    Thanks for sharing. Why do you feel it needs to end?

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmandaAlice View Post
    Hello all, I'm Amanda. Joined in Jan. 2013 according to my profile. My OM and I (we are 22 years apart in age) are married now, as of just this March, but we've been together for 8 years. We have a 6 year old son together, and our 8 year old black lab that we got as a pup. He works maintenance at a factory, and I work for my ex-step-father (he and my mom (she's since remarried, to a somewhat YM (9 years younger (I think) than she and my OM (who are same age)) divorced right around the same time as my OM and his ex, oddly enough) 7 days a week as his home health aide/housekeeper/personal assistant/chauffeur. When my husband and I first got together I was a bartender/waitress/cook at my family's bar/restaurant (wow, really into the slash marks and parentheses today it seems, lol). Then when our son was born, I was a stay-at-home mom until 2 years ago when the step-dad and his mom (who was just as much a grandma to me as the biological ones while growing up) both came down with health problems, I started going over there to help out and after she passed away, I kinda got stuck into staying on to help him, as with her passing he was left with the guardianship of his severely mentally-handicapped brother. This (very underpaid) work has just lately been causing some stress for us as we both get roped into doing everything over there all the time and no other family members or friends seem to want to help. Which, I totally don't blame them. But, it's getting stressful. Hoping to soon cut back our time over there and get back to our own little family. I'd also like to go back to school and get a degree. Though I'm close to turning 31, I never have figured out what I want to be 'when I grow up'. I've went from wanting to study history and English, to wanting to work in the veterinary field (even got certified as a vet assistant, though never used it), back to wanting to be an English major, and now I'm seriously wanting to go back and study bar/restaurant management and associated things. My family no longer owns that place, but I miss it, and now that I'm older, I think I'd rather enjoy getting back into that sort of business.
    Other than that update of sorts, my babe and I are still going strong. We never (that I know of) have problems associated with our age gap, and we're long past any of those stages of doubts and all that that goes with the early days of an AGR. My family has always been accepting of him, and his family of me. Maybe in the early days the may have muttered amongst themselves about it, I don't know as no one ever said anything to me, but by now it's all good.
    Congratulations on your marriage!

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