I was a real "loser" in the 1980s when I was in my 20s. I couldn't get a date with a dragonfly! To make matters worse, I was behind in my studies (24 and still in community college going for my A.A. in Computer Science). I think all of those things contributed to making me aware of my attraction to younger women. All my peers, classmates and fellow church members were early 20s and getting married. I was years away from even being able to move out. I saw myself being in my 30s and still single. One day a friend of mine took me to Armond's for lunch. He was an evangelical fundamentalist Christian with strict moral beliefs. Surprisingly, he didn't mind that I ordered a margarita. As we sat there talking, and the drink started to hit me, I opened up to him about my girl problem. I said something like, "Yeah, I'm 23 now, but what if I don't find someone until I'm 28 and she's 20?" His response was, "Then you've got a problem!". Really? Eight years? A problem? Pleeeze!!!! From then on I started to notice the disapproval of age gaps; on TV, in tabloid news articles, movies, and even in some popular songs. Even people at work used to rib me about it. I just wanted what all my friends had, but because I was late in life, I wouldn't be able to achieve it until later.
By the time I was 26, in the mid '80s, I had discovered the wonderful world of personals advertising (remember, it was the '80s, no such thing as "online"). I had placed several ads in the Sheela Wood column of Globe Magazine and had some early success with it. My thinking was that if a girl in my preferred age range answered my ad, then it meant she was Ok with my age, and either her parents were Ok with it, or she didn't care what her parents thought. I also felt that, statistically, if I expose myself to enough people, then eventually someone I like is going to like me. My first "girlfriend" got pregnant by a guy in her school before I even met her, the second one lived in a trailer and was a bleeding heart with a chip on her shoulder. The only reason she even hung on was becasue of pressure from her mother and grandmother to marry me. It was a mess!
I finally had my first "real" girlfriend, if you want to call her that, when I was 30 and she was 20. She was another mess! She was a chronic liar with a severe insecurity problem. I couldn't even eat in restaurants with her, she was so afraid of public places. It was 1988, and she said in her ad that she "resembled Valerie Bertinelli". Not! Further, she told me that she was taking classes "at the college". It turns out that those "classes" were for her GED because she had flunked out of high school. They were held on a college campus, so she wasn't "lying". I had the hardest time breaking up with her, because she was the first girl who ever showed a real interest in me. But in the end I knew I had to. We broke up that fall.
Fast forward to the early 1990s. I finally made enough money, living in the D.C. area, to afford a one-bedroom condo so I moved out of my parents' house. I was 32. During my fist year at the Racquet Club (the name of my condo) responses to my ads in the Sheela Wood column had really dried up. I guess being over '30' was a deal-breaker! No matter what age range I specified in my ads, I either got no responses, or the women who wrote to me were mid/late 30s, divorced, had kids from previous marriage(s), some of them as old as 15. I was not ready for that!
Then I discovered Cherry Blossoms. I know we're not supposed to "advertise" but I hope the admin will let this one slide. It was a paper circular advertising single young women from other countries, mostly the Philippines, who are seeking men internationally. I placed an ad in it, and in several other similar publications, and started to get a ton of letters from the Philippines. I was like a kid in a candy store! Those letters were from some of the most beautiful, gracious, polite and well-spoken women I had ever encountered, and the average age was about 19! During the spring and summer of 1991 I was in seventh heaven. My only "problem" was deciding whom to focus on, there were so many choices. Long story short, in the fall of 1992 I traveled over there to meet my girlfriend whom I had grown closest to. I had just turned 35, she had just turned 20. We got engaged, married on July 19, 1993, and she arrived after going through immigration the next July (yes, it can take that long!). We had our first kid almost immediately, a boy named Michael born in 1995. He is now an honor student at George Mason University in his junior year. Our other boy was born in 2004 and is 11 in the sixth grade. He is truly a delight. One of the surprises I wasn't expecting from marriage was how much I would love having children. Raising those two boys was is of the most meaningful experiences in my life!
Anyhow, that's my story. I've told pieces of it in other posts, but I thought I'd elaborate here, since we're giving bios in this thread. I hope some of the folks here at AL know me better now.
Last edited by SummerBob; 04-20-2016 at 03:32 AM.
Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."