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Thread: Rejection on mainstream dating sites

  1. #1
    pinotnoir is offline Neophyte
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    Oct 2016
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    NYC
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    Rejection on mainstream dating sites

    I am 37, prefer to be in a relationship with an OW and have turned to mainstream dating websites. I want to be with someone at least 10 years older and my ideal age gap is 20-30.

    When I write to women my age, half write back. When I write to OW about 1/10 reply and the few that too say things like "you are cute but too young", "you would be happier with someone your own age", "I am too old for you", etc.

    It is rough out there. What can I do to improve my chances?

  2. #2
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Dec 2008
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    Panama
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    Say something like "I find great spiritual/interest compatibility with older women, and I would like to develop a friendly relationship with one, and if it results in something more, even better". And you could elaborate on what makes older women more compatible... and please be original, the "more mature, know what they want" has been used too many times. Plus, it kinda gives an idea that you generalize, and that is not nice.

    Maybe you like classic music, or art. Or you dislike texting, or you like disco dancing... whatever truly makes older women more of a match than younger women for you.
    theREALTrish likes this.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  3. #3
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    Virginia
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    I feel for you.

    I was married before Internet dating came on the scene, so I can't relate exactly to your situation, but I used to meet people through newspaper and magazine personals ads and I know what you're going through.

    What really aggravated me was when someone answered my ad, I wrote back, and there was no response. Period. Not even to acknowledge receipt of my letter. I felt that it would have been polite to at least write back and say something, even if it's to say thanks but no thanks.
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  4. #4
    Corsair is offline Member
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    33
    There is one dating site Plenty of Fish which is set up in a way where you can't seek for people too far out of your own age bracket. It might be that I just can't work out how I guess.

    The trouble with dating sites in general is there are so many fakes and scammers now. Also the women get flooded with so many messages that even if one does respond and you manage to have a chat, it's hard to pick that up again the next day. It used to be better, maybe I have changed but I also think that the mentality on the sites have changed as well. Due to all the scammers, fakes and time wasters everyone is a lot more cynical than they used to be.

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