Thread: When you're at peace but your partner thinks you are angry/depressed/irritated etc.

I used to get that a lot when I used to be the type to give cold, icy silences when I was angry. So every time I'd be relaxing or quiet, my partner would say, "What are you upset about?" lol

I no longer give the silent treatment to anyone and I seldom get angry so that's not a problem for me anymore. If you're not the type who goes silent when you're angry or depressed, maybe your partner is going on the basis of past partners or even the way a parent reacted when they were sad/angry/depressed. I think you need to talk it out and tell them that if you are upset or depressed, you'll communicate with them.

Originally Posted by Inamorata

I used to get that a lot when I used to be the type to give cold, icy silences when I was angry. So every time I'd be relaxing or quiet, my partner would say, "What are you upset about?" lol

I no longer give the silent treatment to anyone and I seldom get angry so that's not a problem for me anymore. If you're not the type who goes silent when you're angry or depressed, maybe your partner is going on the basis of past partners or even the way a parent reacted when they were sad/angry/depressed. I think you need to talk it out and tell them that if you are upset or depressed, you'll communicate with them.

Oh I do tell them I am ok but it just threatens them. I am pretty introverted I guess and some of the women I have been with are extroverted. I think it is just odd for them.

Originally Posted by Corsair

Oh I do tell them I am ok but it just threatens them. I am pretty introverted I guess and some of the women I have been with are extroverted. I think it is just odd for them.

Maybe that's it. Some people do come to appreciate the solid, steadfast, introverted "rock" in their life. In fact some more extroverted people even crave that kind of a partner. But it may take awhile until they understand how differently you react to things.

Do it to her. When she is at peace ask her if he is sad, upset, depressed, angry.
Eventually she will ge the point.

I get that if my expression is not at my most lively, it is change from my norm. I am a bit worn down as late so my resting '***** face' is seen but that has been only last 3 months.
Geez, I am a raging beast if actually mad. Snappish if it is anxiety based like depression. By now should know quiet means at peace. Worried about quiet spot during calls as having special meaning or worse, anxious because I get distracted by any other thing ( um... I m on spectrum,, I am not looking at ANY thing, just spacing,,, mkay?)

Yeah I've been there too....sometimes I'd just be zoned out, literally not thinking about anything, and she'd ask me what was wrong, then get mad when I said nothing was wrong.....or even if I'd just let out one of those random larger-than-normal exhales, she'd think something was bothering me...on the one hand, ok, it's nice that someone cares enough to ask, but then it would irritate me if she reacted like I was hiding something from her

It did happen to me too. I had a BF who thought I was depressed just because I didn't speak to him. I just don't talk much usually, he finally couldn't bare me and left, but I am soooo happy, because my today's BF really appreciates me, my way, and the fact that sometimes I NEED to not speak at all, and he respects my private space, so do I respect his. I hope he will propose one day Also he is not jealous, which is a breath of frech air after my ex.

Originally Posted by Corsair

Has anyone ever been with someone like this? Where you are just laying/sitting there peacefully and they think you must be depressed or something else negative? Then they make a big thing of it because you aren't talking or aren't staring at the same screen they are? I've been in this situation and I find it quite annoying!

.... you are Aquarius.

Originally Posted by LunaLove

.... you are Aquarius.

Thats something I've dealt with a considerable portion of my life as over time, a childhood and upbringing in the midst of alcoholism, addiction, abuse, and overall dysfunction in general molded my face into a natural and permanent frown. As well I was filled indeed with anger and sadness that somehow ironically clashed with an enormous sense of love for people in general, animals, and the surroundings of nature and life around me. Later on I would come to realize these oposing forces of emotions to be to my advantage as a ttemendous ever burning fire of artistic passion. Another dual effect was it leaving me brave as a lion but soft spoken as a mouse. Soft spoken being the side effect of another beneficial gift I had gained which is an acute sense of awareness in all my senses of hearing , observing, foresight , and feeling. Adding a great intensity to my keen senses was my fourth grade teacher tossing a can of high octane fuel onto the fire in reading the words of Edgar Allen Poe that rang into my head as though it were a large brass bell. The words Poe wrote in saying, "If you ever die by fire or drowning, be sure to make note of your sensations." stuck with me and having me finding myself making those notes ever since without being consciously aware I was even doing it.
* It took many years later in life for me to realize all this as a gift in realizing emotions are powerful because they are energy and energy can be harnessed and channeled to serve a productive purpose.
* Until then, even after and now, people and especially gfs ask me whats wrong, what is bothering me, am I or why am I mad.* Yes , it does become quite annoying but how else could they percieve the perma frown that is the natural way my face sits in being chill and relaxed? Alot of times I am merely musing and admiring my girl, should I have one, who usually becomes uncomfortable or impatient in her inability to read me. Regardless, I'm pretty out there constantly is my mind and senses pondering wondering and in tandem absorbing my surroundings. Though not enough to quell her uncertainty, my gfs cannot argue when I tell them ther cannot deny my love and adoration for them just in the way I touch and look upon them.





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Originally Posted by LunaLove

.... you are Aquarius.

No, I'm a Virgo.