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Thread: When you're at peace but your partner thinks you are angry/depressed/irritated etc.

  1. #1
    Corsair is offline Member
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    When you're at peace but your partner thinks you are angry/depressed/irritated etc.

    Has anyone ever been with someone like this? Where you are just laying/sitting there peacefully and they think you must be depressed or something else negative? Then they make a big thing of it because you aren't talking or aren't staring at the same screen they are? I've been in this situation and I find it quite annoying!
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  2. #2
    Inamorata is offline Member
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    I used to get that a lot when I used to be the type to give cold, icy silences when I was angry. So every time I'd be relaxing or quiet, my partner would say, "What are you upset about?" lol

    I no longer give the silent treatment to anyone and I seldom get angry so that's not a problem for me anymore. If you're not the type who goes silent when you're angry or depressed, maybe your partner is going on the basis of past partners or even the way a parent reacted when they were sad/angry/depressed. I think you need to talk it out and tell them that if you are upset or depressed, you'll communicate with them.
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  3. #3
    Corsair is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inamorata View Post
    I used to get that a lot when I used to be the type to give cold, icy silences when I was angry. So every time I'd be relaxing or quiet, my partner would say, "What are you upset about?" lol

    I no longer give the silent treatment to anyone and I seldom get angry so that's not a problem for me anymore. If you're not the type who goes silent when you're angry or depressed, maybe your partner is going on the basis of past partners or even the way a parent reacted when they were sad/angry/depressed. I think you need to talk it out and tell them that if you are upset or depressed, you'll communicate with them.
    Oh I do tell them I am ok but it just threatens them. I am pretty introverted I guess and some of the women I have been with are extroverted. I think it is just odd for them.

  4. #4
    Inamorata is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Corsair View Post
    Oh I do tell them I am ok but it just threatens them. I am pretty introverted I guess and some of the women I have been with are extroverted. I think it is just odd for them.
    Maybe that's it. Some people do come to appreciate the solid, steadfast, introverted "rock" in their life. In fact some more extroverted people even crave that kind of a partner. But it may take awhile until they understand how differently you react to things.

  5. #5
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Do it to her. When she is at peace ask her if he is sad, upset, depressed, angry.
    Eventually she will ge the point.
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    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  6. #6
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    Pickles is offline Senior Member
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    I get that if my expression is not at my most lively, it is change from my norm. I am a bit worn down as late so my resting '***** face' is seen but that has been only last 3 months.
    Geez, I am a raging beast if actually mad. Snappish if it is anxiety based like depression. By now should know quiet means at peace. Worried about quiet spot during calls as having special meaning or worse, anxious because I get distracted by any other thing ( um... I m on spectrum,, I am not looking at ANY thing, just spacing,,, mkay?)
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  7. #7
    jordan is offline Senior Member
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    Yeah I've been there too....sometimes I'd just be zoned out, literally not thinking about anything, and she'd ask me what was wrong, then get mad when I said nothing was wrong.....or even if I'd just let out one of those random larger-than-normal exhales, she'd think something was bothering me...on the one hand, ok, it's nice that someone cares enough to ask, but then it would irritate me if she reacted like I was hiding something from her
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  8. #8
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    LunaLove is offline Senior Member
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    I bet...

    Quote Originally Posted by Corsair View Post
    Has anyone ever been with someone like this? Where you are just laying/sitting there peacefully and they think you must be depressed or something else negative? Then they make a big thing of it because you aren't talking or aren't staring at the same screen they are? I've been in this situation and I find it quite annoying!
    .... you are Aquarius.

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