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Thread: Welcome!

  1. #151
    TracyL67 is offline Neophyte
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    New to Ageless...and to relationship

    My name is Tracy and I'm 47. I was in a bad relationship with a man my own age, and when it ended, I felt frumpy...ugly, unwanted. The man I was in a relationship liked petite young blondes...which I am none of the above. Where I worked I had made friends with everyone. But a couple of young men always made me feel good. I felt I could flirt freely because I was 20 years older then them, and it would be safe. I started losing weight, wearing make up, cut my hair.....just started feeling good about myself. When one day "Jerry" decided to kiss me. He is 27...which kind of freaked me out but turned me on, and made me realize I am still sexy ...even at this age. Even tho the guy my age didn't like it, here is a YOUNG man who does. WOW.....This relationship started out purely sexual, but by the second month, it had progressed into something more emotional. We are now best friends, and have decided not to see other people. I still get nervous that he will meet someone his own age who he will become interested in but I am thankful I had this opportunity. We have been seeing each other now for 5 months.
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  2. #152
    Mélusine is offline Neophyte
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    Quote Originally Posted by TracyL67 View Post
    My name is Tracy and I'm 47. I was in a bad relationship with a man my own age, and when it ended, I felt frumpy...ugly, unwanted. The man I was in a relationship liked petite young blondes...which I am none of the above. Where I worked I had made friends with everyone. But a couple of young men always made me feel good. I felt I could flirt freely because I was 20 years older then them, and it would be safe. I started losing weight, wearing make up, cut my hair.....just started feeling good about myself. When one day "Jerry" decided to kiss me. He is 27...which kind of freaked me out but turned me on, and made me realize I am still sexy ...even at this age. Even tho the guy my age didn't like it, here is a YOUNG man who does. WOW.....This relationship started out purely sexual, but by the second month, it had progressed into something more emotional. We are now best friends, and have decided not to see other people. I still get nervous that he will meet someone his own age who he will become interested in but I am thankful I had this opportunity. We have been seeing each other now for 5 months.
    Of course you are still sexy Tracy! Being sexy is not age dependent... You are sexy because someone finds you sexy and you respond to how they feel about you in a way that make them feel sexy....

    We are so brainwashed by the media to think that sexiness can been be defined by a set of physical attributes, with age a major factor. It is not true. Sexual attraction, even if it only leads to a one night stand, is never just about two bodies. It is about two people, two personalities, two minds, two souls...

    It took me along time to understand and accept this. This probably led up to my splitting up with the younger man who fell in love with me and with whom I have only just reconnected. After splitting up I had some flings and they were all with younger males. I don't regret them because they taught me to believe in my power of attraction.

    Read past threads and you will see what a lot of people say. It really helped me. Yes, he could leave you for a woman his age, a woman younger than him, a woman even older than you! This is the risk in any exclusive relationship but the real danger is to make your fear a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    Have faith in yourself and in life!
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  3. #153
    Mélusine is offline Neophyte
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    Hello,

    It has not been a long time since I discovered this forum. No idea why I did not come across it earlier as I started to look into the issue of age difference in sexual/ love relationships three and a half years ago, when I met the younger male with whom I am now ...

    I must not have been ready! And neither was he...

    That's why we split up after a year but just this January we found each other again. After splitting up, we both lived other things, including for me with other younger men but we had not been able to forget each other and it became clear that we both want to have a committed relationship with one another. I must add that we first met in rather unusual circumstances. As was the case for many of the couples here, I did not go looking for a YM and neither did he look for an OW. So we had to struggle with it...

    So here I am... I read all the posts of the YMOW thread, and some more general ones as well. I got a lot out of it. I found a lot of wisdom and humanity in all the posts and so much that helped me deal with the fears I had in the past and am now trying my best to overcome.

    I then decided to join the forum as a statement of faith in the future of my relationship with my YM and because no matter what happens, I would like to be part of such a great community fostering positive change in social attitudes.

    I look forward to joining discussions but I will first need to learn my way around!
    Last edited by Mélusine; 03-25-2014 at 02:07 AM.
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  4. #154
    Mélusine is offline Neophyte
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    Of course you are sexy, Tracy!

    Quote Originally Posted by TracyL67 View Post
    My name is Tracy and I'm 47. I was in a bad relationship with a man my own age, and when it ended, I felt frumpy...ugly, unwanted. The man I was in a relationship liked petite young blondes...which I am none of the above. Where I worked I had made friends with everyone. But a couple of young men always made me feel good. I felt I could flirt freely because I was 20 years older then them, and it would be safe. I started losing weight, wearing make up, cut my hair.....just started feeling good about myself. When one day "Jerry" decided to kiss me. He is 27...which kind of freaked me out but turned me on, and made me realize I am still sexy ...even at this age. Even tho the guy my age didn't like it, here is a YOUNG man who does. WOW.....This relationship started out purely sexual, but by the second month, it had progressed into something more emotional. We are now best friends, and have decided not to see other people. I still get nervous that he will meet someone his own age who he will become interested in but I am thankful I had this opportunity. We have been seeing each other now for 5 months.
    Of course you are sexy! We have just been brainwashed by the media into believing that being sexy is only about 1) physical attributes 2) the physical attributes of youth . It is not true. Sexual attraction is never just about bodies even if it is just a one night stand. It is about the encounter of two people, two lives, two personalities, two minds, two souls... "Jerry" found you sexy and you responded in a way that made him feel sexy. You both became sexy for on another.

    We are so brainwashed it took me a long time to accept that I could be attractive to younger males by 10, 20 years, even more... Still coming to terms with it, actually.

    And I totally understand your fear because I went through the same thing but as many people here would say, yes, he could leave you for a woman his age, a woman younger, even a woman older than you! This is the risk with any exclusive relationship.

    The real danger though is that of making your fear a self-fulfilling prophecy...

    So, I would say: have faith in yourself and in life. Who knows what will happen? All that matters is enjoying where you are at now.
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  5. #155
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Welcome Melusine and Tracy!
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    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  6. #156
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    fiorinda is offline Senior Member
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    Smile

    Welcome Melusine and Tracy!! Lovely to 'meet' you and I'll look forward to hearing how your relationships develop. I'm 49 and my fiance is 25, we're getting married at Halloween this year and hoping to adopt a child together, and we've been together nearly 3 years. I totally get the worry that your YM will run off with a young woman - but then, peer-age partners can do that too! Eventaully you just have to have faith in your partner, whatever their age, that they love you for who you are, not just for what you look like!
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  7. #157
    edition86 is offline Neophyte
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    Hello

    Good evening from the UK... I am 28yo male and single. Great site and good to see people helping each other out. I was in a ltr with a lady almost 3o years older than me a few years back and have been dating ow since, its just that i seem to get on better and have more in common with ow than yw. yw and myself seem to bore each other we do not seem to search each other out just happens. Anyway Hi all and how do you put profile pic on?? x

  8. #158
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    LunaLove is offline Member
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    New story from new member.

    I'm new here but looking for others in similar situations for support. Here's my story.
    I'm a recently seperated 50+ woman without children. I've always been a tom boy type and started playing video games in my early 20's. A bit over 5 years ago I found myself in winter with extra time on my hands and decided to try an online multiplayer game for the first time. I quickly made friendships there that continue to this day. Two of these people I even now feel are my family as I don't have close family left. The first is a 30something man, married with kids (I'll call him D). The other was in his teens when I met him (I'll call him G). The three of us have become very close and we all consider each other best friends. However I maintained my privacy and they didn't know my age, or how I looked, etc. I didn't share my age to begin with because I didn't want to be treated by others in the game as a "mother figure" and I know they would have felt differently about me in general.

    It's the younger man, G, I've bonded with romantically though. It happened so gradually I didn't even realize until it was too late. He had an unusual upbringing as he was home schooled. Seems he just didn't do well in school, had some emotional trauma and his parents decided to keep him home from about 3rd grade on. As often happens, home schooled kids quite often are more mature and happier spending time with adults than others their own age and he never had a very close friend until he met us.
    Since I met him, G and I have spent almost every evening talking and playing together for hours. He's now away at college with housemates and in his early 20's. As I was a pretty wild teen having him spend his weekend evenings with me made me rather sad and countless times I'd say "Why are you here? You need to be out with guys your own age, drinking, chasing girls, etc." He'd just ignore it all, and night after night he'd be with me and also D usually.

    Then G turned 21. I sent him and D small bottles of champagne and D and I were the people who "partied" with G for his birthday.....over the internet of course. Shortly after that I started seeing G more as an adult. And a series of events led to me asking him if he was interested in me romantically. He said he was. Despite the fact that I felt the same I tried to push him away, and we had some very stressful and emotional discussions. One night I said that for his own good I needed to push him away from me, he broke down and cried and pleaded with me. I realized then just how strong he had bonded to me and I then also broke down and promised that I wouldn't ever push him away again.

    Since that time we've grown closer and closer and have become a "couple" although very few people know about it. Only some people I'm close to but none of his family or college friends. And it's only been a few months now that I finally told him my age and true identity. When he found out my age and still couldn't be discouraged I then asked if he wanted to visit me this summer. He said yes and we've been making plans. I bought him a plane ticket for the middle of next month but how long he'll stay is still not sure. It will depend on a few things such as how we get along and if he can find a summer job. He'll be returning to college in the fall so he won't be here any longer than mid August.

    I'm so on edge though. So worried about how it will go. Afraid that we could lose what we have now if it doesn't go well. I feel bad that I'm so much older and wish so much that I could change that. I've sent him pictures now including ones that show my wrinkles. I can tell he wishes I was younger too, but he still loves me and wants me and even sees a long term future for us. The one and only thing I've told him that seemed to actually shake him up was the fact that I'd most certainly die first.
    I wonder if I'm doing the right thing for him. His family still doesn't know about us but they know a bit about me as I've sent him gifts even before he moved out. But they have already confronted him as his mother gets his phone logs and she knows how much time we've spent together. I also am worried about how much this will hurt his relationship with his parents. I don't want anyone to be hurt because of us. Especially him.

    Through it all though, I love him deeply. I haven't felt so close to or so in love with anyone since I was in my teens, and I've had a lot of relationships over the years. I'm also closer to him than I think I've been with anyone since my mother passed away. I'm scared for myself as well. Not sure I can survive another loss. However I'm also more open and more loving than I have ever been with anyone and maybe instead of losing that I might be able to keep it, even should we not work out in the long run. Overall I'm rather scared and unsure that I'm doing the right thing for either of us but I guess we just have to give it a chance. I've missed chances in the past that I still am sorry for, so I just have to try. And who knows, maybe it will work out.
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  9. #159
    Kariya is offline Member
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    Hi everyone

    Hi guys. I'm 29, been in a relationship with an OW for 8 years now and going strong.

    On a whim I decided to browse the web to see if there are other couples like us.. and here I am

    I'm happy to have found this forum (wish I thought to look sooner!)

    Hope you all have a nice Monday!
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  10. #160
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    fiorinda is offline Senior Member
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    Hi Kariya and Lunalove!

    Lunalove, I'd be nervous in your situation too!! I met my fiance online (on a dating site), he's 24 years younger than me. We only talked online for a couple of months though before we met up. Luckily, the chemistry was there IRL too. It's impossible to know whether you're going to actually be attracted to someone IRL until you meet them. I've met men who were perfect on paper but I just didn't click with them. My fiance really didn't seem perfect, I thought he was way too young, he lived the other side of the country, and wasn't working. I didn't even think he was attractive from his photos on the dating site! But I've never been more in love. When he came to visit me he just never really left!

    I really hope your meeting goes well for you both! Just don't feel that you HAVE to continue into an IRL relationship if it's not right. No-one can predict how the old pheremones will work! You need to make G understand that.

    I'd love to know a bit more about your situation, Kariya.
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  11. #161
    Kariya is offline Member
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    @LunaLove You situation is almost identical to mine. My SO and I also met in a multiplayer game What started out as grinding for levels.. grew into much more before we realized it. When we did recognize that it was much more, she adamantly resisted. For very much the same reasons that make you tentative now. I persisted.

    Long story short, I ended visiting the next year (she's in AU and I'm in the US). Here we are, 8 years and 5 visits later. If all goes well, she'll be here with me in the states by next year.. (fingers crossed)

    There were many many epic battles over the years. Mostly because of my inability to express my feelings and speak my mind. But, because of those fights, I've learned and grown and matured. I was very much a boy on many levels when we met.She's helped me learn a lot about myself and helped me grow to be a better man.

    If he makes you happy, and you make him happy.. go for it. Take that chance! If you don't you'll regret it! Focus on the happiness and build on that.



    @fiorinda ^^ There you go
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  12. #162
    PurpleFever is offline Member
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    Hi Tracy and all

    This relationship started out purely sexual, but by the second month, it had progressed into something more emotional. We are now best friends, and have decided not to see other people. I still get nervous that he will meet someone his own age who he will become interested in but I am thankful I had this opportunity.
    That's not unusual round these parts My relationship started out the same way, as an affair...and SLK and KittyLane both said theirs did too, as I recall. They're both married to their YM and I've been with mine for just over a year now. So hang in there!

    I have the same insecurity about younger women and I have to constantly head myself off at the pass and just accept my man's love.

    What I've discovered is that HE is similarly racked by insecurity, in his case, that I'll leave him for an older man who is financially well off and able to offer me a fabulous lifestyle -- he just can't imagine that I wouldn't do so, seeming to forget that I left just such a man for HIM...heh... also he seems unaware that those men tend to go after women HIS age, heh...

    Love can make us all insecure, because we so fear losing it. I know our relationship may end one day (that's just life) so I try to savor every precious moment we have together.
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  13. #163
    Amy
    Amy is offline Neophyte
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    Need advice

    Hi. My name is Amy. I am 40 years old and I am considering getting into a relationship with a 19 year old boy. Ugh… I can’t believe I am writing that. But I suppose that is why I am on this forum. I need advice.

    A little background information. I am a divorced mother of two kids, ages 17 and 13. I have been divorced two years. And while I tried some online dating, I really did not enjoy it. I preferred just to be alone and concentrate on my career and kids.

    And, no, I am typically not attracted to younger men. I have always preferred older men.

    Jared (the younger man) is the son of a friend of mine. I told my friend a month ago that I needed someone to fix a broken fence in my backyard. My friend suggested her son as he is pretty handy and he could always use the extra money.

    So he came over two weeks ago and did the work. When he was done we ended up discussing various subjects. He is a history major and I have always been a history geek. So we hit it off intellectually and we spoke for hours. He then asked if I would like to go to the Museum of Natural History with him. I said sure and we met at the museum this last weekend.

    I honestly did not see it as a “date”. After all, Jared is only two years older than my son. I see him as a kid.

    After the museum, we said our goodbyes in the parking lot. We briefly hugged each other. And then he pulled me back and kissed me. On the lips. And I kissed him back. Without any other words spoken he got in his car and drove away.

    I spent all Sunday obsessed with what happened. Did I lead him on? Why did he kiss me? Why did I kiss him back? What should I do?

    I waited for him to call me or text me but he never did. So I sent him a text saying that I had a good time, but I hope he did not get the wrong idea. We could only be friends.He just responded with an “OK” and that was it.

    The problem is that I can only think of him now. I feel like a stupid schoolgirl with a crush. I need someone to talk me out of contacting him.

  14. #164
    LunaLove's Avatar
    LunaLove is offline Member
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    Took so long for my post to show up I gave up but checked today and saw it was posted.

    He'll be here on Saturday (3 days). Ugh. I can't believe we're doing this. So many confusing emotions.

    He'll probably only be here a week, and after that I'll plan to come back here and fill folks in. Will probably need some support then too.

    Thanks for your replies. :-)

  15. #165
    Kariya is offline Member
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    Welcome Tracy and Mélusine

    @LunaLove Yay!!!! Enjoy your time together!! I remember the first time I visited.. was so scared and nervous.. and exciting..

    Best wishes!!!! <3
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