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  1. #166
    LunaLove's Avatar
    LunaLove is offline Senior Member
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    Our Visit.

    Well, he came, and it was the best week of my life. Bar none I think. However before I talk about that there was a lot more drama before he arrived.

    He told his parents he wanted to come and his mother freaked out and called me on the phone. It was bad. She said that if he came, she was coming too and dragging the rest of her kids. She raised her voice and said purposely cruel things to me and also said she couldn’t believe I could possibly have anything in common with someone his age. I kept my tone quiet and even, but when she questioned my mental health I explained that she was really being offensive and inappropriate and that I was hanging up, which I did.

    I was so mortified after her call I didn’t eat for almost a week. Lost a lot of weight that week though. We thought at that point the trip was off.

    After getting off the phone with me, she gave G a very hard time, stated how in the world could he go off to meet some weird woman he met on the internet? Then she signed him up for eHarmony. Yeah, we both saw the irony there. She actually spent an hour with him on the phone, signing him up, helping him answer the questions (anyone seen Harold and Maude? )

    After a week of feeling sick and soul searching, I told him that he was going to visit, period. It was what he said he wanted for a long while and it’s his life to lead and that if he didn’t he’d regret it and resent his parents. He agreed. He avoided questions he got from his parents after that and kept it secret from them. We decided to just have him get on the plane and leave his car in long term parking. We counted down the hours starting several days before. He’d text me several times a day the hours left.

    Wow, was I nervous at the airport as we texted trying to locate each other. I spotted him first by his college t shirt. I stood watching as he looked around for me and when he recognized me he closed his eyes a moment and smiled. It was wonderful. I had actually and purposely overstated my negatives a bit desperately wanting to see relief and happiness (not disappointment) on his face when he got off the plane and we met for the first time, and I did. I was quite surprised myself though, he was much better looking than I thought, even with the photos I’d seen. He was tall, dark and the most handsome man in the world, at least in my eyes. I have to admit that I wish he wasn’t quite so good looking, for a variety of reasons I’m sure are obvious.

    It was a bit weird after that though, we both had a hard time looking at each other. I stood next to him with my arm in his, but was having a hard time having the G I’ve known for years morph into this stranger I was touching. Hard to describe, but it was like my brain had to compute this situation for a long while before it would accept that this was truly the real G .... in the flesh.

    We got his bags and walked back to my car. Then we sat in the car and stared at each other a moment until he said “kiss me”. And I don’t think we stopped kissing until I put him back on the plane for his return trip. LOL During the ride home, about 2 hours, he had his head on my shoulder almost the entire trip.

    It was all so intense. We got back to my place and had cheese and crackers and champagne by candle light. During that week we visited a bunch of places, drove to the ocean, saw the sights. I cooked him some amazing meals, foods he’d never had before, like duck. We went to a lovely French restaurant and he tried escargot for the first time. And of course we did a lot of other things he’d never done before either.

    When we were home, he’d spend a lot of time just sitting snuggled up to me on the couch. We played our game together on our lap tops, sitting next to each other. That was so much fun.....none of our ingame friends having any idea. LOL

    Broke my heart taking him back to the airport though. And things have been a little odd since then. But I’ll save that for another post.

  2. #167
    LunaLove's Avatar
    LunaLove is offline Senior Member
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    Kariya...can I ask your age?

    Thanks for the nice replies! :-)
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  3. #168
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    fiorinda is offline Senior Member
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    Really glad your visit went so well, LunaLove! But wow, G's mum's behaviour!! And he's over 21?! He needs to tell her to back off! I'm worried now at your 'And things have been a little odd since then' comment.... I hope he's not regretting anything, or caving to pressure from his family. Keep us posted love!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  4. #169
    LunaLove's Avatar
    LunaLove is offline Senior Member
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    Hi Fiorinda,

    Yes...he’s 22 but not yet totally independent as he’s in college with school loans. His mother has control of his banks accounts, they pay his phone bills and medical insurance, etc. It’s also apparent to me that he still feels a bit like he’s still a dependent child.

    Here’s some of the “odd” I mentioned. After he talked to his parents about coming, they went to work on convincing him of why it was wrong. His dad even had a conversation with him about how I’ll change after menopause. I still need to get more details on this, but from the little I heard he was talking about mental stuff mostly. I think they really put fear in him. However I do that as well. I talked often about the downsides to our relationship as the worst thing I can imagine is having him one day feel trapped and regretful. However I’ve also talked often how, no matter what, if he ever feels the need to move on I would understand completely.

    After they had worked on him a while, but before he visited, I asked if he was wanting to try the dating site and meet women there. He said “I guess maybe”. I told him I understood but that I couldn’t just sit home while he was out with other women and that I’d have to do the same.

    After he went back home, we talked a few times about our future. I ended up joining a dating site and had several good conversations with men and didn’t spend as much time with G. I did that for a couple of weeks but felt so confused about everything and not finding myself interested in other men. Then a week or so ago we talked again about things. I asked him what he thought the odds were that he’d actually move here after graduating and he thought a moment then said 87%. LOL I knew he hadn’t dated anyone and doubted he even talked with anyone on the dating site, so I asked if he still wanted to meet women there and he said “not really interested right now”.

    G is not a talkative person and doesn’t share his feelings or thoughts without prompting and then it’s in few words. He’s an Aquarian, which is typical for that sign I guess. However he will share a bit when encouraged and is always truthful, sometimes too much so however.

    When he told me that, I told him I really wasn’t interested in dating anyone else right now either. I told him what I hoped for us, realistically, is that he’ll move here after graduating and live in my guest house. That he’ll find a good job and that we’ll spend a few years maybe, just enjoying each others company while he pays down his student loans. He loves this idea as well.

    G is counting on being able to move here when he graduates and really loved being here, the area, being with me, etc. And I want that as well, but I find our situation so hard that I just can’t see it being permanent. However, him being in my life, in any capacity, I hope is permanent. We really are best friends, and he insists that will always be the case. If anyone is able to be a true friend for life, I think that’s him. As odd as it sounds, I can see a time, after he’s been here a while, that he’s dating someone while I’m dating someone, but we’re still close friends. I’ll always think of him as my family, and he says the very same thing about me.

    Currently I’m going through a bit of a crisis. His visit is over and I feel lost about what to do with myself for the next year and a half until he graduates. Can I really afford this time waiting? (We do hope to visit a couple more times before then, but it's expensive so we're limited there.) What if I wait so long but his family manages to stop him from moving here? I do know that, at least right now, he needs me. And I need him even more and that’s the most scary thing.

    As to regretting the visit....he says "never". However other things happened - his parents found out he'd come while he was here. But I'll add that to another post.

  5. #170
    LunaLove's Avatar
    LunaLove is offline Senior Member
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    Is there a way to add a picture for my avatar? I've looked in my profile and stuff but can't find it.

  6. #171
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    There is a pencil icon in your profile top left, that you can click to take you to the edit page.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  7. #172
    Kariya is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LunaLove View Post
    Kariya...can I ask your age?

    Thanks for the nice replies! :-)
    29 about to hit the big 30 in a couple months Funny, but 30 and 54 doesn't seem as big of a difference as 29 and 54
    fiorinda likes this.

  8. #173
    ftumch1997 is offline Neophyte
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    New Here

    Hi There,

    I,m a 55 year old guy, fallen deeply in love with a 26 year old russian women, well as deeply as I can without actually meeting, the age gap scares me, but we just seem so natural together, when we talk on messenger, with each others cams on. We share same humour, life values everything, but it scares the hell out of us both, been 6 months now, and we hope to meet next year.

    i see from this site, age gap relationships can work, I hope this one does so much, as never felt anything like the depth of feeling I do now

  9. #174
    halfpint is offline Neophyte
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    hi :)

    I'm a 40 year old female, my boyfriend is 29. We've been together for a year and a half. Not so sure what to tell you all about us, we have our ups and downs, like any other couple, mostly ups. I was in a bad, mentally abusive marriage with a guy the same age as me... I had lost all self esteem and hope...I met my bf on accident, we became fast friends and he literally brought me back to life... it was one of those love at first sight things, truly... inside and out. We click on every level.

  10. #175
    nathaliamartin is offline Neophyte
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    Wink Thanks admin!

    I would like to thank the admin for accepting my member request here.

  11. #176
    Renee is offline Neophyte
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    New here

    First I want to say that I'm so happy to have finally found a place like this!

    So my guy will be 38 in March, and I'll be 21 next June. On June 18, it will be 2 years since we first "met"
    So I firmly believe in God bringing together 2 people who are MEANT to be together, and that is exactly what happened with us. It was totally "random" how we met: he had responded to one of my posts on the Whisper app, about a bad breakup I had just gone through. We started messaging privately, and it went on from there! We were both in similar situations, and the more we talked the more we realized we had in common. For about the first 6 months I was just friends, but he had already said he was falling for me. I was nervous because he lives in another states, and is a bit older then me. But in December of last year I finally quit denying it and was the first to say "I love you" We've gone through a lot since then. But unfortunately, we haven't been able to meet in person yet So texts, Skype, and phone calls is what we've been living on. With our relationship being long distance with a big age gap, I haven't had the nerve to tell my family about him, and I'm not as independent as I'd like to be. So there's a lot of stuff that I have no idea how to deal with, and I'm hoping I can find some help here.

    Thanks!
    SheLikesKitties likes this.

  12. #177
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by CNYBachelor View Post
    Hi everyone! I am a divorced gentleman who is 49 am seeking for a woman in her 20s and 30s. This is a bit difficult these days especially my age. I like to have children and the other difficulty is that I appears older since I was 18. Women over 40s wanted me when I was younger. Now I have reached that age in past ten years and I could not keep looking for someone under 40. Only I get the Filipinas interested in me. Not want that long distance. I prefer to stick to the one I can find in US. Oh well. Still have faith that I will have someone under 40.

    Anyway! HI!!
    Wow, I was just browsing this thread and just read your introduction. Belated welcome to ageless! (I know, almost a year late... LOL).

    If you're still there, I'd like to add something to what you said.

    I can relate to you about young women losing interested in me later in my single life. However, when Filipinas started writing to me I was delighted! I know it's long distance, it costs a lot to go there, and if you get married you have to go through immigration, but it was all worth it to me. I got some of the most gracious letters I've ever received from young women over there and making a choice between them was one of the hardest thing I had to do. Now that I've been married to one for over 20 years I can honestly say I have no regrets. We have a beautiful marriage and family life, with two great sons (one in college, one in fifth grade). If I had it to do over again I'd do it a thousand times! Don't write someone off just because of where she comes from.
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  13. #178
    MomKathy is offline Neophyte
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    hi 53 female here from North Dakota. I am here looking for a very young cutie to chat with regularly online

    And thanks for having me here, hugs.

  14. #179
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Quote Originally Posted by MomKathy View Post
    hi 53 female here from North Dakota. I am here looking for a very young cutie to chat with regularly online

    And thanks for having me here, hugs.
    Welcome MomKathy, you may want to post an ad in the personals section. In the meantime, tell us more about you.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  15. #180
    annt is offline Neophyte
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    I am pleased that I am not the only one in an ‘odd’ relationship and am Pleased that I find the site.

    I was mortified for a long time, that I, as an older woman wanted to get involved with my best friends son and my daughters friend as well. I have known him since he was 3. In the beginning, I believed that I was crossing some boundaries that should not be crossed. I had many ethical questions as well. Our relationship has grown steadily over the last years; he has always liked to touch me and hold me every chance he got, but I was always ‘not very accommodating’. Well we started flirting outrageously and shamelessly with each other in public after he turned 18 and made our relationship public 6 month ago.
    I hope I can find other to communicate with and exchange or just feel comfort.
    SheLikesKitties likes this.

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