Morning everyone. Im steve and im 44. I have recently seperated from my partner aged 50 and now find myself embarking on something with a beautiful young woman of 21. We have been friends for a cpl of years and we get on like a house on fire HOWEVER the age difference bothers her somewhat.. i understand her fears but honestly no ones bothered. No one that matters anyway but she worries about "how people will look at us".
Would be vood to hear other members experience of getting thru this at the start of things.
My name is Rehza i am a 22 year old guy living in Amsterdam. Studied sociology and child psychology. Now running a business in creative network and managment. Basically a short introduction of who I am.
Now let me tell you a story.
In February this year I was in Australia and broke up a 6 year lasting relationship with the girl who i pretty much spend most of my childhood with. Things happend as always in life and we ended up separating.
After she left halfway February I met a lovely lady named ( name is fictional ) Janette. Janette is a woman who is 52 born in New Zealand living in Australia. Janette, myself and 5 other went on a road trip for a long weekend in that weekend I got to know her a bit better and we just ignited instantly there was a weird sense of mutual understanding in the conversations we had. She had experienced things I had experienced and she coped and ended being a happy bubbly positive woman. ( I do understand she's older and she should've experienced more but life sometimes has a weird way of dealing cards )
Long story short I fell for her faster then a brick falling from the heaven.
In the weekend described above we talked a lot from the 120 hours we spend together we talked 30 spread over 5 days we basically excluded ourselves and had amazing talks about places we saw in travels and experiences we had with setbacks in life.
I ended up spending a lot of time with her but never alone with her because of circumstances. In the end we had a day to ourselves and ended up in bed. After a while I realized I couldn't make love to this lady because of residual grief and emotional attachment to my ex so we ended up once again talking the night away. In the conversation she only really listened to me and I felt safe and understood.
Beginning of April Janette told me her homely situation and after experiencing her husband ( yes it's basically an affair ) a couple of times I realized quickly that she was emotionally being abused, diminished and bordered. She confirmed this In a talk we had. I felt pretty sad and emotional about it because I saw what a beautiful person she was/is. So I started talking to her daughters about the situation they were in and all three of them choose their moms side proclaiming their dad was irrational and coping with side effects of medicines for his heart. Which altered his way of perceiving things.
Continuing, I realized at that moment I wanted to be there for Janette in whatever way I can and I became a back support for her. So we ended up in bed again on another day and the same thing happened I couldn't make love to her at that point I realized emotionally I wasn't available. So I told her I was going home back to Holland we spent the last two days I had their in the city together. When she dropped me off at the airport it felt very unnatural and even depressing to leave her alone there because I developed feelings for her and I didn't want to see her unhappy but in the end I got on the plane back home.
After coming home I was in a very bad place for 2 weeks everything caught up with me my break up and leaving Janette.
We had a lot of conversations through Facebook messenger we spend 38.000 messages on each other where we talked about how we were feeling and how I was coping with the break up. After 2-3 weeks I realized I was getting a bit of closure I didn't mentally break me down when I saw my ex in real life again at that stage I started wondering if I was emotionally available again.
Janette and me had a talk and decided we should meet up she came to Amsterdam 11 July this month.
I had the most wonderful pure love based connection with her. We had a lot of soul recognition moments where we looked into each other's eyes and were just speechless by the story our eyes were telling each other. As two very nurturing individuals who always are looking out for other people this was week was very special and pure because we focused all of our nurturing forté on each other. In the end our inner child got comforted and our inner adult got comforted as well. After this week we came to the conclusion that this "fling" we had was shattering our expectations it ended up being natural, present and just absolutely amazing.
Now Janette has gone back to Australia for work and I am here in Holland misging her very much and wanting to share my experience with you ladies and gentleman out there.
Awaiting replies and sincerely interested in opinions.
Lots of love
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
When my husband and I first met and bonded in real life we were exactly your ages (we were best friends but long distance for years before that). That was two years ago.
Your situation is a bit different though so my first advice is to protect your heart. You haven't yet really gotten to know each other, and she doesn't seem to be ready for divorce. Go ahead and keep up the LDR, and see how things progress, slowly and carefully. I spent years in love with my YM before being convinced it actually had a chance of becoming reality. And then more time proving to each other how committed we were. I decided that I was ready to commit myself, but also felt I had to be ready to let him go if he ever felt the need so it's a bit one sided, but for me, it kinda had to be. If that makes sense. Basically, I could only let myself really fall once I accepted it might not be forever, and that I would be okay with that.
I wish you both luck.
I am jo, i am an older man looking to share experience and learn about ageless love.
I would like to say welcome to all the AL members. We are a pretty supportive group of people who are straightforward and come with many different life experiences. I am 30 married to my 52 year old husband. So, for those in a YW/OM (younger woman, older man) relationship I'd be happy to offer some advice or you can just talk my ear off if you are in need. A lot of women on here have been the older woman in a relationship before and have great advice.
I am Patrice, I'm a french citizen, I'm glad I found this forum
There were 15 years of age difference between me and my ex-girlfriend and We lived together for 6 years
I think it's close and intimate lives of older women
I found this site while browsing the internet to get some idea of what people think of the older woman/ younger man situation.
I'm not currently in a relationship with a younger man but I have a been chatting to a guy off and on for a short while, there has been some subtle flirting and I know he likes me so I feel he may ask me out for a date soon. The signs are all there and he has made subtle hints. I feel attracted to him and it's not a physical thing (although he is handsome), it's more about a vibe/ feeling towards him and his personality. The problem I have is he is 23 and i'm 34. I don't think he has any idea I'm 34 as I look at least 10 years younger than I am (I am not being full of myself, vain or delusional. People always think I'm younger and I often get mistaken for being a student). I have several different concerns. Will he have a problem with it? If he doesn't will he assume I'm worldly with lots of life and sexual experience, and just be interested in sex? i'm not experienced I've had 3 boyfriends and I'm still a virgin - due to circumstance and a long period of illness with anxiety (I'm better now). Will he assume I'm looking to settle down now? (I'm not - 4, 5, 6 years maybe, who knows, depends) Will he ever see it beyond anything other than a casual or short term thing? I know no one can answer these questions but him but I guess getting the opinion of others may help me feel the outcome may not be all negative.
I feel I would like to at least go out on date or two with him and see what happens but all these concerns are bothering me already and so i'm tempted to just turn him down. I don't know. If I did decide to go for it when should I let him know what age I am and my situation in life (obviously in a very very subtle light way)?
Any advice would be welcome.