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  1. #61
    Sweetness147 is offline Banned
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    Hi all, my name is Rachel and I am 47 and divorced for 7 years. I have been very interested in meeting a YM and am very happy to have found this site.
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  2. #62
    amazed65 Guest

    Whew! I'm glad I found this site!!

    Hello! I'm so glad to have found others in a similar situation. I was in a loveless marriage for 17 years & ended it myself 9 months ago. At age 45, I had no clue what was in store for my future. I have a 10 yr old daughter & it was for her sake that I decided to get out. After meeting several guys my own age I reluctantly accepted an online chat w/a ym. He's 20 yrs younger & I thought what could we possibly have in common. Actually quite a lot! It's nice to finally have someone listen & care about my happiness. My divorce is not final, and until it is I don't want to get my daughter involved. I've met his family, who are quite religious, and they are accepting of the relationship. I never imagined that I could have found someone so wonderful! The ex was 48 and acted like a teenager so WHO CARES about a 20 yr gap!
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  3. #63
    CalifCowgirl Guest

    Hello I am 55 he is 35 International Relationship Marrying in September 2012

    Hello/Hallo from the USA and the Netherlands . I thought I would take a few minutes to introduce myself . My name is Brandy..I met a wonderull younger man in August of 2009 online in Second Life . I am not someone that would ever participate in online games etc but I was going thru a horrible period in my life and my younger sister who had already been in Second Life for several years introduced me to that world .I had been in a very abusive marriage for 34 years,had a total knee replacement,which was complicated with pulmonary embolisms which nearly killed me .It was then that my eyes opened and something inside me snapped and I just knew that I could not or would not remain in that marriage .

    A very long story short..I joined Second Life and became very discouraged by it..I met a few nice people but had a lot of experiences that made me decide that I was not cut out for that world .I was about to log off for the last time and out of the blue came a voice in the Second Life Botanical Garden..."So which is it are you closer to 35 or 100" lol. I had written in my profile..my age is somewhere between 35 and 100 ...and must drink coffee . I nearly did not answer but there was something in his typed words..a feeling or intuition ..I have no clue..but I instantly knew that I could not log off .I TPd him to meet my sister..because I did not trust my instincts any longer .We were inseparable from that day forward spending 6-8 hours a day together online in Sl,then Skype voice only .We decided to meet 6 months into it because we were in love at that point .Well..it was then it came out..I never in wildest dream thought it would ever be anything more than online friendship so I told him I was 34 lol...he told me he was 25 for the same reason .We did not think it would ever matter . So then came another confession..I told him I was 45 and he told me he was 45...lol. Then a few weeks later..I told him he didnt want to meet me because I was really 50ish lol..and he said he had a confession to make ..he was really 90 !!!! I nearly passed out and just when I thought and said..I dont care if you are 100 I am in love with you .He said really ??? Then he confessed that he was really 33 yearls old .

    Fast forward 3 years...he lives in Holland and I in California but somehow we made it work .I had left my ex..got a divorce...got myself well and moved on with my life .I have a lot of damage from years of abuse...panic attacks etc but this man has stood behind me and has been the best medicine for my soul and spirit .We took turns flying back and forth for two years and now I have a residence permit here in Holland to stay with him .My family pretty much thought I was crazy...lost my mind and so on .They would not talk to me except my two grown sons .My parents disowned me..my sister betrayed me but 3 years later we are all talking and happy for me . My family loves my man now and see how happy he makes me .His family welcomed me with open arms...all is well in my world now .

    My guy is a software engineer for a major bank and I am a midwife Doula..in the USA .We are getting married here in Holland September 14 2012 and then repeating the ceremony in the USA the following week in California for my family .His parents are flying with us to the USA to attend that ceremony as well .

    Im sorry this is so long...things hve not been easy peasy...it is dfficult and expensive to live this kind of life but I would not trade it fr the world .I found my soulmate,best friend and lover in a virtual world...un freaking believable :-)))

    Love and happiness to you all ,
    CalifCowgirl
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  4. #64
    Redhead's Avatar
    Redhead is offline Senior Member
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    @Califcowgirl
    Your story sounds absolutely wonderful. I was thrilled to read it, and I wish you and your future husband all the best. Good that you found this forum.

  5. #65
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    Califcowgirl, I really enjoyed reading your story...It's always encouraging to hear stories with happy endings Welcome!

  6. #66
    suzeth Guest

    Yikes, I didn't mean to fall in love

    I'm new because I've been looking for support for my new relationship and it's not easily forthcoming from some (thankfully not all) friends.

    After my ex (who is 9 years younger, but also schizophrenic) I swore up and down I was done with younger men and had been looking for gents a bit older (I'm 45). Anyway, I placed one ad, kind of a nutty ad. There was only one remotely intelligent response. Alas, I think, he's also 36 and I'm done playing mommy. We met:

    He isn't looking for a mommy. He's solid and we have more in commone than I have ever shared with anyone: atheist, vegetarian, extremely liberal and the silliest, smartest and most clever person... ever. The more I know, the deeper I fall - and it's mutual. My best friend is supportive, he knows what my last years with the ex were like, and thinks it's about time I have some joy. My other bf is constantly trying to talk me out of it: too soon, astrological incompatibility, age... I'm happy and she isn't celebrating with me.

    I guess my point is, if I have one, is that I KNOW this is real love (not my first time at the rodeo) and I know it's different from everything that has come before. I'm thankful, these days, for every moment of life and try not to be attached to outcomes. Right now is beautiful, and that is enough.

  7. #67
    20yeargap Guest

    Red face Hello!

    Hello guys!! So I just joined and I have to introduce myself! I am a 26 year old girl from Puerto Rico who is currently in a relationship with a 47 year old man from Spain. We met online and now I am getting my Master degree in Spain. It's nice to find a support system on the net full of many people in the same situation. Hope we can share more of our experiences.

    Ale

  8. #68
    fraupilz Guest

    Another newbie :)

    Hello, I'm Kasia, 24, and I've been in arelationship with André, 54 for about two years now. I live in Poland, he lives in Sweden, but plans on moving here. We are both musicians, I study psychology and linguistics and he makes musical instruments and paints. I have never dated anyone that much older, so there's lots of worries and insecurities. Anyway, it's serious and I hope there's lots of people here who will unterstand that sometimes age doesn't matter.
    SheLikesKitties likes this.

  9. #69
    joytear is offline Neophyte
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    Hi everyone, I'm Joy, 52 yrs old. I've tried to word this several times and it doesn't seem to be coming out well. Long story short, I would never in a million years seek out a YM. But I met one 5 years ago in an online game. Little did I suspect that he was pursuing me at a low level all this time. He would contact me regularly and a friendship grew between us. Last Fall, he made his move and caught me off so off guard. He's 23. This has completely turned my once calm world upside down. The age difference is a huge deal for me. We're on two different continents, LD to boot. Part of me wishes I will wake up and this was all a dream. I have this nagging feeling that I'm doing something horribly selfish and wrong, even though there is no moral reason against it. Today I even want to back out but and I can't bear to hurt him or not have him in my life the way he is now. I feel too worried to look much into the future right now. But every moment we spend online together is such a gift. He's just awesome. We really make each other happy!

    Thanks, it's great to be here with you nice people. This is a wonderful forum community.

  10. #70
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Welcome Joy! I also met my husband online. He was also 23 at the time. He is American, and I am Panamanian, and he moved to Panama, and has been living here for 7 years. There are other couples here with 30 years age gap. Where are you guys from? Do you have plans to meet?
    You may want to open a thread in the OW/YM relationship support section (or Chit Chat section) an tell us more about you.

  11. #71
    thatoneperson's Avatar
    thatoneperson is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by joytear View Post
    Hi everyone, I'm Joy, 52 yrs old. I've tried to word this several times and it doesn't seem to be coming out well. Long story short, I would never in a million years seek out a YM. But I met one 5 years ago in an online game. Little did I suspect that he was pursuing me at a low level all this time. He would contact me regularly and a friendship grew between us. Last Fall, he made his move and caught me off so off guard. He's 23. This has completely turned my once calm world upside down. The age difference is a huge deal for me. We're on two different continents, LD to boot. Part of me wishes I will wake up and this was all a dream. I have this nagging feeling that I'm doing something horribly selfish and wrong, even though there is no moral reason against it. Today I even want to back out but and I can't bear to hurt him or not have him in my life the way he is now. I feel too worried to look much into the future right now. But every moment we spend online together is such a gift. He's just awesome. We really make each other happy!

    Thanks, it's great to be here with you nice people. This is a wonderful forum community.
    Welcome to Ageless! My OM is 51, and I'm 22, so you're certainly not the only one!

  12. #72
    joytear is offline Neophyte
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    Quote Originally Posted by SheLikesKitties View Post
    Welcome Joy! I also met my husband online. He was also 23 at the time. He is American, and I am Panamanian, and he moved to Panama, and has been living here for 7 years. There are other couples here with 30 years age gap. Where are you guys from? Do you have plans to meet?
    You may want to open a thread in the OW/YM relationship support section (or Chit Chat section) an tell us more about you.
    He's in Denmark and I'm in the US. He's not a believer like I am, but he wants to come and speak with my pastor, which is such a respectful and touching gesture to me. He sounds serious about our relationship tho, doesn't he?


    Quote Originally Posted by thatoneperson View Post
    Welcome to Ageless! My OM is 51, and I'm 22, so you're certainly not the only one!
    Yep, thanks for the welcomes thatoneperson. It's is really nice to know I'm not alone.

  13. #73
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    He does sound serious. Are you OK with dating a non-believer? I know that faith is a deal breaker for some people. I have a friend who is an atheist, and the way we solve this issue is by not talking about faith or religion. She has her faith and I have mine.

    Any specific plans for a visit?

  14. #74
    joytear is offline Neophyte
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    Quote Originally Posted by SheLikesKitties View Post
    He does sound serious. Are you OK with dating a non-believer? I know that faith is a deal breaker for some people. I have a friend who is an atheist, and the way we solve this issue is by not talking about faith or religion. She has her faith and I have mine.

    Any specific plans for a visit?
    I don't know enough about his personal life to meet with him, I guess that's it. So we're not ready for a visit. He had a hard childhood, and he finds it difficult to talk about it. Too much discussion about it at one time can ruin his day. I am getting a little at a time from him about it and try not to press him too much. He visits his parents out of a sense of duty, but he is not close to them. For people who were raised by parents who gave them proper love and care, it paves the way to be able to connect with other people in an emotionally healthy way, and opens the door to being able to believe and to trust in a God. For those who were disappointed by a lack of parental care and concern while growing up, they face issues of trust (fear/abandonment), and finding a spiritual path for them can be very difficult indeed. I know there some red flags here.

    As long as he respects my beliefs, I'm ok with it. We are not planning to raise a family or anything. I can still have a baby but it's unthinkable at my age and with my health issues. A few years ago, I wouldn't have been this flexible. I can't really pinpoint why I'm not worried about it. It's just sort of like, I can put it in God's hands and let go of it for now. I'm satisfied with his moral beliefs and I think he has a sound understanding of right and wrong. I like it that he doesn't ever lie. He will admit to wrong doing, even volunteer it before it's known. If he's sanctioned in some way, he will accept it with no protest if it's just. I was raised in the Eastern Rite Catholic Church for part of my childhood, then my parents practiced Roman Rite later. We were taught not to evangelize. Living a good life as a role model is considered to be enough. If it works out for him to have a visit here, then he can talk to my pastor. He feels a need to do that, it was his idea. For a Church wedding, interfaith marriages are allowed, each party would have to be baptized (unless they are Jewish then no baptism would be required). I don't think they would marry me to an non-believer tho. There is a requirement of pre-marital classes/counseling too. After that, if we can't come to an agreement, then I guess I could consider being married in another faith that would allow it. That would be a tough decision though. A civil wedding would make us both sad, I know that about him from many things he's said. He wanted to marry me in our game as a role play thing, and he wanted the church, not the courthouse! I think it will be ok.

  15. #75
    pinkunicorn's Avatar
    pinkunicorn is offline Senior Member
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    Welcome to ageless!
    Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.


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