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Thread: Is agegap relationships a "thing" or...

  1. #16
    jellybean400 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by catlover
    I do prefer younger men--but mainly because I have more in common with them (preferred music, etc.).
    That's me also, but they've only ever been hang out "buddies," i never dated them romantically or sexually.

    I met my YM at work...we were friends for quite a while before we got together. I dont think i would actively "search" for someone so much younger (19 yrs). If i did, i would make sure i knew what they wanted in the future, before i fell in love with them.

    I do admit that i'm more physically attracted to younger men...but obviously that's not everything in a relationship.
    Last edited by jellybean400; 09-06-2005 at 05:54 PM.

  2. #17
    L J Guest
    I have never like guys quite my age, and definately not younger... but I am only 19, so I think that itself explains why. From 18-I met my OM I was dating in the 23-27 age group for the most part.

    I was DEFINATELY not expecting to fall in love with someone 39!

    We were friends for over two years, extremely casual (he was a regular at the restaurant I work) and we would sit and chat and have coffee during my slow times. It took me two years to realize I "had a thing" for him, but we both fell in love really fast after that.

    I wasn't seeking him out by any means, and even when we started seeing each other I expected it to just be a casual romp in the sack (sorry to be so blunt) every now and again...

    but things never seem to work out like you expect, do they?

    IF (thats a BIG IF) I were to ever again find myself single, I would not seek out someone 20 years older than me... I love D. with all my heart... but I wouldn't intentionally put myself in this position again.
    Last edited by MerAlove23; 10-15-2005 at 10:22 PM. Reason: Age requirements

  3. #18
    Pita Guest
    It's just a fact that he is 22 years older then me. I wouldn't have cared what his age was when we met. If we broke up I wouldn't go looking for an older man. I do know that I prefer older men. But you love who you love.

  4. #19
    chouchoute Guest
    I was not looking for a YM specificly but I have to say that I started being tired of the behaviors of men my age... Never being sure that they wanted a monogamous relationship or even a serious relationship, needing space, not knowing if I was right for them...
    For the last ten years, I felt like I would never meet someone on the same page. Then I started dating some YM and felt way more confortable and appreciated. Then came the YM I have now been seeing for 4 months and I NEVER felt that great!!(same for him) .
    Anytime I see a OY that is single and cannot find a match I tell her to not reject men because they are younger. They could be missing the most fulfilling relationship ever.

  5. #20
    CabinFever Guest
    Never ever would I have believed someone if they told me I would fall for a guy 16 years older than me. I just didn't understand how there could be attraction....until I fell in love with my OM.

    Now looking back, I can see that there's qualities that I like in an older man, that I was drawn to. The security of knowing he's serious about the relationship, responsible and trustworthy, knows what he wants in life etc. YM can have these traits too, but my ex that I was getting over (same age as me) lacked these and I was looking for the opposite sort of relationship.

    I've been wondering though lately if it is a "thing" for me now. If and when I start dating, will I look for another OM? I don't think so, but I also won't rule it out. I've also noticed that I tend to have more older friends than younger ones, so I think I just "fit" in an older age bracket generally. I'm fairly conservative (not politically, but in my mannerisms, dress etc) and have always known exactly what I want career wise etc. I think there are lots of immature older people though and very mature young people, so I don't want to create stereotypes here - this is all just a generalization based on the people in my life.

    Still, I have a hard time letting go of the dream of growing old with someone. I have always loved seeing "little old couples" holding hands etc and I want that for myself. So, being with someone older, is not particularly something I WANT, maybe it's just something that works out better for who I am. (thinking out loud here...sorry for the ramble)

  6. #21
    dangovt Guest

    Red face Definite Trend...

    When I got to be about 27, I was still with my husband, who was 4 years older than me. However I used to go out with this girlfriend of mine from time to time and she would notice what type of person "caught my eye" while I was watching the scenery. She pointed out to me, "You're attracted to younger men! Always! Every time!" I wondered, while denying it, how far this went. I mean, I was kind of attracted to my boss's son, who had just graduated from highschool. I didn't want to become the type of MOM who is hitting on her son's friends--or sitting around in a little robe that's falling open, coyly saying, "Oops" while my son staggers away in shame! I needn't have feared that because trying to imagine the kids my 17 y/o son hangs out w/as "sexy" is truly sickening. Thank God! BUT I AM always attracted to younger men! I can't say why. It's like being attracted to blue eyes, or brown hair. The thought of dating someone OLDER than ME is kind of repulsive to me--so I don't understand how my man finds me sexy at all. I think that's where some insecurity for some of us comes from: "I find the thought of a 59 y/o naked man pretty gross really. So how can my 23 y/o lover find the thought of my 41 y/o naked body attractive?" ...but anyway, YES it was a preference. Sorry about the meandering.

  7. #22
    LADave is offline Born 200 years too late
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Los Angeles, California
    Quote Originally Posted by dangovt
    So how can my 23 y/o lover find the thought of my 41 y/o naked body attractive?"
    Obviously, a young man of refined and discerning taste!
    "You've got to dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never going to hurt."--Anon

  8. #23
    TxCaramel Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by GoldieCat
    Some of us, like me, -did- begin to prefer someone younger and looked specifically for that. (But I didn't pick my man ONLY because he was younger. He had to have a whole host of other qualities as well, qualities I would insist on no matter what age a man is - point being, although I wanted a YM, I wouldn't have taken any old YM. Faaaaar from it.)

    This is how i feel about older men..

  9. #24
    MerAlove23 Guest
    Well I always prefered men Older than me... never my age or younger.... however my gap was only like 5 years max... I was an aquaintence of one who was over 20 years my senior... but it was not the right time or place and honestly I was only 18 and I did feel I was way to young to persue a relationship of that dynamic.... However... I am now 30 and Married to a man who is 17 years my senior and Never would I have guessed How wonderfful it is......WHen I first met my husband he was 43 years old... Well..... I thought he was like 34 or 35 years old so I honestly didn't realize he was older....s o we fell in love because of Love and not because of his age... However I did know he was older than me so I'm sure thats what the initial attraction was

  10. #25
    submart Guest

    Wow, I feel the same way about everything you said and can very much relate. And my OM is 16 years older than me. hehe. How funny.

  11. #26
    Rozie Guest
    We met in an online game and struck up a friendship. I was not looking for anything. I was unhappily married at the time and the game was just an escape. The friendship developed like any other; was due to like interests, values. Always thought because of the extreme age difference, this was all we would have...friendship. We play with his RL friends and I adore all these guys but was not at all attracted to any of them, just my YM. I think a relationship where the "fit" feels right is more important to me than the age, but how many 50 somethings are playing video games? No one in my social circle but I have been a hard core gamer since in a way age is a factor!

  12. #27
    tinydancer Guest
    I truly do not have a preference. Although, the older I became, the more it seemed like it was younger men who asked me out.
    I did work in 2 universities which might explain why though.
    My whole life, until my 40's, I married and dated much older men. In fact, it actually bothered me that my child's father was 4 months younger than me lol.
    If my marriage didn't work out, God forbid, I wouldn't seek out anyone of any age but I certainly would not rule out any wonderful man......regardless of his age. There are too few of them
    Blessings, Tinydancer

  13. #28
    emero Guest
    I hadn't considered anyone I'd came out of a scarred 4 year relationship with a loser, and I wasn't even looking I was quite happy to be on my own.

    I just like men, whoever catches my eye really, not age or race specific

    I'd never dated a latino man before that was an education in itself, as I am a liberal independent, no nonsense speak my mind, scottish woman

    He actually said he was a year older as he was afraid I wouldn't see him again as he thought I might think he was too young

    He has always dated older women, just prefers it that way

    The first time I saw him my knees went weak, I haven't had that feeling in a long time

  14. #29
    Justmyself Guest


    um i think we all are on the same page here,being 'only' 27 (lol) um i dont persue young guys,my first bf was 4 years older than me and my sons dad 7 years and well ive had lots of bf's lol,but generally i end up dating guys two years younger than me its weird i guess they seem to seek me out,them and catholic private school boys!
    i will say im not really into older men like anyone 8 years older than me b'coz of things that have happened in childhood you know,i feel safer with younger guys but if i had to create ideal man i would say my exact age would be really good i know one guy i was with was 21 and i was 27 but he looked alot older so i told myself he was hehe,but his mate thought i was sick and lectured me,the same mate is 36 and dates 18 year old girls go figure

  15. #30
    seekme22 Guest
    yeah, it just happened for me too. I was really shocked, I never thought for moonlight rays that this would happen to me.

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