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Thread: Given a chance, whould my husband have an affair?

  1. #16
    pinkunicorn's Avatar
    pinkunicorn is offline Senior Member
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    It's hard to say what the entire conversation revolved around, based on this one email from her to him.

    I don't think he is or was planning on cheating on you. I second Laurad121. I work in a chiropractic office and it's the same thing here. If a patient, for whatever reason, requests a different doctor or CA than their regular one, feelings get hurt. I know I feel slighted whenever someone has an insurance question and would rather talk to the office manager than me. I'm perfectly qualified to answer their questions.

    And, if I were your husband, I would have done the same thing. If I had run into an ex (provided the relationship ended on amicable terms), I'd want to catch up with him, too. And I know my husband would do the same. Catching up does not equal cheating. I am very secure in how my OM feels about me, and he is secure in how I feel about him. In fact, there is a friend of ours who we know has a crush on me. My OM teases me about this man, and the other day when he called to talk to my OM about something regarding his Harley, I smiled and asked my OM "Is that my other boyfriend you're talking to?"

    Or there was a time an old crush of his was planning on coming in to town (who admitted she STILL does). My OM asked me if I minded that we (note, he said we here) meet her for supper somewhere.

    Then there was the time my OM and I went to a bar with my parents in my old hometown. My old high school boyfriend was bartending that night. We still keep in touch sporadically through email, Facebook, and phone calls. This guy has told me many, many times that he considers me to be the "one that got away." I walked up behind him, put my arms around him, and gave him a big smooch on the cheek, joking "This place has really gone to crud. They let ANYBODY in here now!" Then I motioned over toward where I was sitting with my husband and my parents, and told him if he had a minute to come join us and meet my OM.

    Even his saying "If he could be with the most beautiful woman..." I think is his way of trying to reassure you that, no matter what, YOU are the one he wants. Him saying this has nothing to do with him and everything to do with you. My OM will often tell me, "Babe, you could have any guy you want. I feel so blessed and so special that you choose to be with me." And I agree. I know. I've tried. And I've succeeded. I tell him the same thing. And he agrees. But like I said earlier, we both know how we feel about each other. There's no doubt. It helps that we speak each other's Love Language.
    Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.


  2. #17
    lovemytwins's Avatar
    lovemytwins is offline Senior Member
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    Thanks for all your responses to my post. I didn't ask my husband about the email because I didn't not suspect him of having an affair it was just my curiousity of the email. He didn't not give me any reason to doubt his loyality to me and his committment to our marriage has always been strong.

    Last night was the second night we put the twins in their own room and my husband and I had such a GOOD time together.

    GG: I realized that I have neglected my marriage since the twins were born. I don't remember the last time I complimented my husband. We didn't share a bed for almost 2 years. Sex did happen a few times here and there but it was just sex no connection. We didn't talk about things that bother us just because we didn't have the time. But last week I woke up and decided to move the kids to their room so that husband and I have more time together. Tonight will be our 3rd night sleepng together but we already feel the closeness coming back. My answer to you is, we don't have a bad relationship but we flunk big time in communication but we are working on it.
    When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.

  3. #18
    gorillagirl Guest
    LMT- it's awesome you are sleeping with your husband instead of your children. CONGRATS !!!I dunno if you're doing "attachment parenting" or not. There are some parents who sleep with their kids until they are 10 years old or so. I just don't get it. It's fantastic you are able to have adult time just for the two of you! Next step, work on your "can't sleep alone" phobia. Try to conquer that by the end of summer. You'll feel free.

  4. #19
    pinkunicorn's Avatar
    pinkunicorn is offline Senior Member
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    Good for you, LMT!!! Adult time together is crucial to a relationship. And your kids, as you've noticed, are fine sleeping alone, too. Even as young as 2, it's good for kids to do stuff "on their own". It helps them establish their sense of self and their self-confidence.
    Angel and gorillagirl like this.
    Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.


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