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Thread: Being an older woman

  1. #16
    chi77 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by gorillagirl View Post
    Chi77- I agree with you also however I'm not going to be depressed and feel like crap if I don't get noticed, approached or grow old with a man. If one comes along, cool. If one doesn't, cool. Either way, I'll have boy toys that fade in and out and (as you know) back in again.
    Whatever happens I'm gonna be cool with it and I will not let some "lack" of a man ruin what's left of my life. In an aging woman's life (post menopause, no need to breed) the man is not the cake.
    He's the sprinkles on the cherry on the icing on the cake. Unless our age gap is signif, our man will likely die on us eventually anyway. We need to be okay with or without a man and the guy needs to be able to be okay with or without us also.
    Honey, I know you well enough to know that you'd rather be alone and happy than trying to make it work with Mr. Nascar Baseball Cap dude.
    It's easy for those who already have a man in their life to say they don't want or care if men take notice of them. I guess I wouldn't either at that point and when I have been in a relationship I didn't notice or care if men paid any attention to me. I'm not saying I, or anyone else, should feel depressed and like crap if men don't notice. And when I say looking for a man I don't mean aggressively looking, I mean being open to a serious relationship with and wanting that as part of my life. This doesn't mean I place any less value on myself.

    Am I fine without a man in my life? Yes I've been successfully managing for some time now, raised two great kids on my own, bought a house, etc etc.

    I like what men have to offer and enjoy the company of men as much as the company of women. I get different things from each.

    I don't NEED a man in my life but I'm not ashamed to admit I WANT a man in my life, and that I like men and yes I am looking for happily ever after and hope I never become pessimistic enough to think I can't still have that (and no he won't be Mr. Nascar Baseball Cap dude ). I may not know exactly what I want, but I know exactly what I don't want.
    Azureth, gorillagirl and Mebel like this.

  2. #17
    gorillagirl Guest
    Chi77- you will definitely meet some decent guys as soon as you're ready to move on from you-know-who and start by hanging out in the city with kindred veggie-folk. And you **KNOW** my thang is super temporary.
    xoxoxo
    Last edited by gorillagirl; 11-30-2012 at 12:32 AM.

  3. #18
    Mebel's Avatar
    Mebel is offline OWYM AG 29 yrs
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    Oct 2010
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    609
    Quote Originally Posted by Dwc View Post
    So long as you feel great about yourself, healthy, happy, comfortable, being of substance just means loving and respecting yourself and carrying your own healthy you, that's really what matters. It's harder than it seems, that's the truth, in all honesty as well, it is far more possible than most would think.
    True for me because most of my life I have lived on my own, and being single for most part, working several jobs at the same time. Besides being romantic at heart, I am also always realistic, as so I did not want children, when the outcome would be that I would raise them on my own.
    ((Strange is that I had this thoughts very early on , already((was 16 yrs..) I had real visions of how difficult my life has been raising my ten children on my own.I always laughed about those entirely clear dreams and visions, and blamed it on some former soul life of mine. How else to explain it!
    And which terrible life and struggle I was not going to endure again.

    Now about visibility:
    Happy as I have been with myself, friends, family and surroundings ,,I also felt , as you say a bit invisible
    as a woman when I became older. First this was not a problem, but that feeling became stronger, and it made me sometimes sad. I was almost 50 yrs.
    I can see it now clearly when I see my pictures of the yrs before I met Kevin.
    My appearence, my clothes etc., I did not give myself that much attention anymore.

    I saw myself needing some special love. Deep down I wanted a man next to me. Sharing my life with someone special. I came to a point that I thought that this was not going to happen to me. That was what made me sad.
    So I turned the tables,, just a bit,, just to join a relationship site. I searched for friends, male and female.

    It happened that Kevin appeared very quick, so we write eachother and after 3 month had our first date.
    Our friendship became love. And love changed me, and made me visible!

    And Kevin is such a wonderfull gift to me! He helped me change my wardrobe!Yes Kevin and that is a big understatement!!
    Last edited by Mebel; 12-09-2012 at 08:46 AM. Reason: zucht!
    Kevindh and SheLikesKitties like this.

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