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Thread: friend is suicidal and seems committed.

  1. #31
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Dealing with a suicidal friend is reason enough to be depressed! Is there any way that you can emotionally separate yourself from her and her situation? Unless you are a shrink, or have had training, you have no skills to deal with a suicide. You are not responsible for her situation and have no way of guaranteeing that she makes it out of it. She may be your friend but YOU, YOUR SURVIVAL and well being are #1. Never forget this, being selfish is a survival mechanism, resulting from millenia of evolution, and I know that you believe in evolution, so there you go.

    My best gf has a wonderful way of explaining this. When you are traveling by air, the instructions in case of loss of pressure in the cabin, when the oxigen masks drop, is to PUT YOUR OWN MASK FIRST before attempting to help others.

    What I do when I feel depressed:
    I analyse my situation to try and find the reason to be depressed. 70% of the time it is due to mental exhaustion, 30% is due to domestic problems, assorted fears, and confusion. If after my analysis I decide that my depression is due to exhaustion, I know I just have to wait it out until it passes by itself when I rest and can be once again serene. If it is due to the 30%, I further analyse to see if there is a solution to the problem, if not, I count my other blessings which generally outnumber my problems and that makes the depression go away. If someone is trying to dump on me, I try to help and if what I do is not helping them, I tell them I cannot help them and suggest ways they help themselves. I was not always like this, when I was younger, I had energy to power third party broken down machines, now my energy barely powers my own old gears.

    If your depression is hormonal, it will just require a period of adjustment of your body and it will eventually pass like all the other symptoms of menopause. Hang on!
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  2. #32
    christina923 is offline Senior Member
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    angel..interesting therapy with meniere's. glad it is helping.
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  3. #33
    legallyblonde Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by gorillagirl View Post
    She cancelled her 8 person dinner party for tonite and is now with her guy pal headed to the emergency room for an evaluation after 2 days of uncontrollable sobbing. She's 50. Hormonal?
    Serotonin deficiency.
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  4. #34
    soul is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by gorillagirl View Post
    Angel,
    I've been feeling totally stressed and depressed for several reasons I won't discuss in public but I'm finding St. John's Wort to be helpful. Today I took a hike with my suicidal friend and another gal pal. She is (her words) "hanging by a thread." I am beginning to feel the same way. But that overwhelming sadness has just hit me really hard also.


    GG I have to echo what SLK has said in regards your friend and you.

    Think of it like, when someone yawns you feel like yawning, or when someone laughs, you laugh. It's kinda contagious. Well the same can apply to feeling depressed.
    Without wanting to sound like a tree hugger, all that negative energy she's giving out is draining you like a leech would, slowly an gradually. I'm not suggesting you're feeling depressed because of her, but more meant as it's not helping you. I know you can't and wouldn't want to break contact. But maybe limit it to a certain amount of time or the regularity, just to give you some space? (for if and when you need it)

    Speaking of helping you, your friend is using you as a sounding board, whose helping you? do you have anyone.
    Feel free to bend my ear anytime, if you want a mad brit as your sounding board, my doors always open, you have my email.



    Angel, Pleased to read your update , I also think starting a thread in the health section is a great idea.

  5. #35
    gorillagirl Guest
    Thanks, Soul. I think it's just hormones. Both my friend and I had hysterectomies where we lost our uterus's (uterii?) but kept our ovaries so neither one of us know what's really up with our bodies. I currently don't have medical insurance and can't find out. Luckily, she does have it and she can get some advice/care. I saw her last Sunday and I will see her again Saturday but in general, it's less than every 2 weeks with phone calls in between. xoxox

  6. #36
    1love's Avatar
    1love is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by gorillagirl View Post
    Angel,
    So relieved to hear you are doing better. I've been feeling totally stressed and depressed for several reasons I won't discuss in public but I'm finding St. John's Wort to be helpful. Today I took a hike with my suicidal friend and another gal pal. She is (her words) "hanging by a thread." I am beginning to feel the same way. Must be menopause kicking in. I don't have my uterus, just my ovaries, so I really have no clue where I am in my menopause, if at all, and my medical insurance just expired so...no clue. But that overwhelming sadness has just hit me really hard also.
    Add me to the group of those feeling sad. I have been sensitive/emotional my whole life, but have noticed more bouts of crying in the last couple of months. I was talking to my guy about it and he said he has been feeling that way, too. Perhaps it's a little S.A.D. I recently started seeing a counselor also, have only had 2 sessions. I have been digging up some old sources of anxiety and pain, and so far have ended up in tears. I am hoping to work through some things I have suppressed. I hope it won't make things worse.

    My heart goes out to all the sad people here, and hope we can all work through it.

    GG, I hope your friend finds something to live for, other than just a husband.
    I've decided that the stuff falling through the cracks is confetti and I'm having a party! ~Betsy Cañas Garmon

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