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Thread: My sweetheart had a heart attack last Saturday- need advice on Social Security Dis.

  1. #16
    gorillagirl Guest
    1love,
    i totally appreciate that you guys changed your diets per docs orders, etc... what i'm talking about is actually rejuvenating the body so that drugs are no longer needed. docs don't want patients to fully recover because then they lose their source of income. docs want patients unhealthy enough to still fund their services and big pharma. let me know when he's ready to take the plunge and i'll be happy to lend support. i think Chi77 would be willing also.

  2. #17
    legallyblonde Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by degausser View Post
    Is he still employed? If so, I would look into getting something temporary and more immediate - FMLA or Short Term Disability. If he's already ended his employment, then go for Social Security Disability. Definitely contact an attorney. Applying is definitely doable without an attorney...it's just time consuming, not guaranteed, and won't have instant results.

    If he's still employed, I can't stress enough - contact an employment attorney immediately. Look for one that offers a free consultation. If finances are a problem, they might not be able to represent you, but at least they can point you in the right direction.
    I don't think you need an attorney yet. I did this and really the only time you need an attorney is when you get through all the turn downs and go to the administrative courts phase, where, in my state anyway, most people get their disability.

    PM me 1love....
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  3. #18
    MissMuffins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1love View Post
    [SIZE=4]
    MissMuffins, thank you for the pm and the information here. I sent you back a pm, also.

    The information you put here on the thread is wonderful, and I am familiar with those things.

    I worked for MO Department of Social Services for 6 years, and was a caseworker for part of that time.

    After that, I also worked for a community action agency for 3 years!


    It had not yet occurred to me to seek assistance in those ways, but I appreciate you bringing it to my attention, and I will check into them.

    I have a mortgage on my home, almost 10 years now, so it would not be that easy to just let it go and move to an apartment... but of course, would if I had to.
    It might make things more manageable if we break this down into different groups of things to deal with instead of one great big overwhelming mishmash of stuff blowing up in your face all at once. One of the benefits to not being married is: sometimes you get to pick and choose how "together" you are, according to how well that works for (or against) your overall situation.

    Daily living expenses:

    Federally-funded student loans and grants generally don't count as sources of income for purposes of determining federally-funded program eligibility. Go get as much help with your power bill and your phone bill as you can get. You can legitimately be a single household for EA and separate households for Lifeline, if your cell phone carrier participates and you're on separate plans.

    Here, SNAP is run by the state and in my experience as an applicant, they can be really pissy. I don't know how things are there. It's worth looking into.

    If you're eligible for The Emergency Food Assistance Program (TEFAP) *and* have medically prescribed dietary restrictions, you may be in luck--usually things you *can* eat, like dried fruit, dried legumes and any fresh produce other than salad vegetables, aren't very popular items. People don't accept them or give them back because "squash is yucky" or they don't know how to prepare dry beans or lentils.

    If you are a SNAP participant, a lot of the "green" cleaning supplies--vinegar, baking soda, salt, lemon juice--are also food products.

    Housing:

    Stay current on your mortgage payments. Work with a HUD-certified housing counselor to do whatever it takes to make this happen. The housing counselor's take on things is to make sure your rights as a borrower/homeowner are upheld. Your bank or mortgage company operates from the angle of making sure they collect, and if they trample on your rights in the process, it's up to you to catch them.

    Medical expenses:

    Heart attacks are hard on people, and tend to trigger depressive episodes in men. As much as you want to fix this for him, as your partner and as a human being, HE needs to have something that allows him to regain control in this out-of-control situation, too. One of the ways you can help him do that is to let/expect him to take the lead on following through with the hospital with regard to all the "what to do when you can't afford to pay your bill" stuff.

    Disability claim:

    Let your sweetheart take the lead on this, too. Whether you hire someone to help you with this or undertake it together on your own, as much of this as he can help with will make it go that much more smoothly.

    Quote Originally Posted by 1love View Post
    [SIZE=4]
    My professor said he would work with me on my homework/class attendance for the rest of the year, seemed really empathetic... but somehow isn't.

    He followed up by saying if I don't attend every class, turn in all homework, and take the final, I won't pass.

    So, I am asking myself, what kind of concession has he given? None.

    That is something I am obsessing over right now, but know I need to let it go. I have bigger fish to fry.
    Professors usually don't know jack about accommodations in the formal, ADA/FMLA, sense. Check with whatever office on campus coordinates the accommodations for those students who have disabilities. *They* know.

    Meantime, the best way YOU can help your sweetheart deal with this is: keep your eyes on the prize. You're in school to earn a degree so you and your family can have a better way of life. You are *this close* to graduation. Your job is to be in class, on time, as much of the time as possible. Keep your cell phone on silent but visible, and choose a seat that allows you to leave without disruption if you need to step out to accept a call or leave early. Get that homework done, get those papers in on time, and take those exams. Worry about passing, not your GPA. My college GPA is just barely 3.0, and my degree looks exactly like those of my friends who graduated with honors.

    Do you know what they call a doctor who graduated med school with a 2.0? Doctor.

    *hugs*

    MM
    Last edited by MissMuffins; 04-22-2013 at 02:17 AM. Reason: typo
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    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

  4. #19
    gorillagirl Guest
    MM,
    Are you trying to say that "C's get degrees?"
    :-)
    Yes, they do.
    MissMuffins and 1love like this.

  5. #20
    1love's Avatar
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    Update

    It's hard to believe it has been almost 2 months since Jeff's heart attack. Life has been a whirlwind of activity since then. We have had numerous doctor's appointments and follow ups. He is doing better for the most part. A couple of weeks ago, there was an infection in his incision where the defibrillator was inserted. He was given antibiotics and that seems to have cleared it up. He has been struggling with depression, but seems good for the most part.

    We did all the paperwork for SSD/SSI, medicaid and financial aid from the hospital. We are still waiting for answers from all except the hospital, who gave him a 75% discount on his bill. This is nice, but it only covers the actual hospital stay, and he continues to receive bills from each doctor and any other department that was not included. Hopefully, the medicaid will be approved and cover all.

    In the mean time, I finished school and graduated on May 18 with a degree in computer networking. I am really happy to be finished, and am now vigorously looking for a job. I have been fortunate that a few people have recommended me for jobs with their companies, and I am hoping at least one of those will get me somewhere. I had an interview last week that sounded promising. I have another interview tomorrow.

    Jeff's dad and a friend have given him money a few times to get him through, and that has been a blessing. Since I graduated, much to my surprise, I have received some grad cards and money from close family and friends, which has helped a great deal. That was something that I never expected at my age! So, we are ok for this month, and maybe next month. I hope a job comes through by then. Positive energy, vibes, etc. are all appreciated!

    One of the hardest things is that with all the attention I have had to give to Jeff, I missed out on some time with my family/friends. But, we have slowly been getting back to some sense of normalcy. He can drive now and goes to see his family/friends once in awhile, and I have been able to spend some time with mine, too. I am adding a photo of my grandson, Emery, who will soon be 18 months old. He is a sweet little fellow and brings his Nana great joy.







    Uploaded with ImageShack.us
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    I've decided that the stuff falling through the cracks is confetti and I'm having a party! ~Betsy Cañas Garmon

  6. #21
    Bella's Avatar
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    I missed all this the first time around, 1love, I'm so sorry this has happened, but I am SOOOO proud of you for making it through and graduating. And what a beautiful baby that Emery is. Hugs. I wish there was more I could do to help.
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  7. #22
    1love's Avatar
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    Thank you, Bella!
    I've decided that the stuff falling through the cracks is confetti and I'm having a party! ~Betsy Cañas Garmon

  8. #23
    christina923 is offline Senior Member
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    congratulations on graduating!

    my how he has grown...hewill be a heartbreaker!
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  9. #24
    1love's Avatar
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    Thanks, Chris!
    I've decided that the stuff falling through the cracks is confetti and I'm having a party! ~Betsy Cañas Garmon

  10. #25
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    What a beautiful child!
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    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  11. #26
    VenusDarkStarLA's Avatar
    VenusDarkStarLA is offline Senior Member
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    I know that everything is relative, but when I read posts such as yours, it really helps me to put things in perspective. My heart will heal and I will find new love, but when the one you love is struggling with ongoing health issues, it takes great strength to ride that wave. Kudos to you for being his rock...AND for making it through school too! WOW!

    And what a gorgeous little grandson!
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  12. #27
    1love's Avatar
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    Thank you, Sheila and Val! I love my little guy so much!

    Val, thank you, very nice of you.
    I've decided that the stuff falling through the cracks is confetti and I'm having a party! ~Betsy Cañas Garmon

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