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View Poll Results: Do you feel threatened by the sophisticated OW.

Voters
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  • I felt threatened in the beginning of our relationship.

    2 15.38%
  • I feel threatened all the time

    0 0%
  • I didn't feel threatened in the beginning, but feel threatened now since marriage/living together.

    0 0%
  • I have never felt threatened by OW.

    11 84.62%
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Thread: Do You Feel Threatened By The More Sophisticated Ow

  1. #16
    tinydancer Guest
    You know, it's funny, I had more "issues" with y/w's when I was still a y/w myself lol.
    We were all competing for the same jobs, same guys, etc...
    Now, the older I get, the more I can look at a y/w and appreciate any beauty she might posess, her talent, her intellect, etc....especially if she is one of my dancers lol!
    I can look back at my own life at "her" age with fondness and then.........I cringe
    I have gained so much more than I've lost over the years and I am so glad that it's all way behind me!!!
    As "pretty" as others may have considered me at 20....I felt that I was always being judged, put up on a pedestal (only to be brought down), was used for arm candy, etc....
    Now, I think I am prettier and it doesn't matter if others agree or not.
    I am still a size 2 and still have an ***** that doesn't spread when I sit down , am so much wiser, mellow, can laugh at things that would have kept me fretting for days, and so on.
    I also feel a lot more elegant than I used to.....pretty cool!
    My advice to young or old.......live your life with grace...it never goes out of style and it is a very attractive quality to most men younger or older.
    Blessings, TD
    Last edited by tinydancer; 01-18-2008 at 08:40 PM.

  2. #17
    soccermom79 Guest
    I can honestly say I do not feel threatened because many of those things you described are things about my OM ex wife that he has mentioned he does not miss. He says he enjoys my fresh unjaded view on life because it makes him feel young again.

    Melissa

  3. #18
    Kristin's Avatar
    Kristin is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Greeneyedlily View Post
    but I have one thing on my side and that's youth. Sometimes it is a mixed blessing, but what YW have now is what OW wish they had all over again! LOL Not trying to be mean or arrogant, that's just the way I think about it so I DON'T feel threatened... lol It's like most guys' fantasy to have a younger woman... so why would he want an older one when there's a younger one standing right in front of him? PLUS when the YW have more mature qualities in comparison to their peers, and to some OW as well, it's getting the both of best worlds for the OM, right?! LOL But, ok, the hot 40 yr old still bugs me, especially if I think she's talking to him too long.... haha BUT then he smiles at me and it's like I know he must totally want me! You'd have to see these looks... I swear they'd melt ice!
    Umm...wow. I do hope this was in jest.

    Well, OW ladies, remember being that age and thinking youth was forever too?

    I don't get how YW can be so disparaging to OW when they are going to be there themselves in a few short years.

    I think ANYONE would feel threatened if their guy was in the presence of their ideal woman. But that woman may not have to be sophisticated nor young.

    My husband has had plenty of opportunity with YW. Flat abs and no wrinkles does not make a woman beautiful & desirable. Sorry.

    Ever hear of beauty being in the eye of the beholder?

  4. #19
    goodchild Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Kristin View Post
    Umm...wow. I do hope this was in jest.

    Well, OW ladies, remember being that age and thinking youth was forever too?

    I don't get how YW can be so disparaging to OW when they are going to be there themselves in a few short years.

    I think ANYONE would feel threatened if their guy was in the presence of their ideal woman. But that woman may not have to be sophisticated nor young.

    My husband has had plenty of opportunity with YW. Flat abs and no wrinkles does not make a woman beautiful & desirable. Sorry.

    Ever hear of beauty being in the eye of the beholder?

    She did explain the thinking behind her post in a later thread.

    I'm happy a few other yw have responded. I know yw don't visit this site in droves so it will take some time to get their responses.

  5. #20
    Kristin's Avatar
    Kristin is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodchild View Post
    She did explain the thinking behind her post in a later thread.

    I'm happy a few other yw have responded. I know yw don't visit this site in droves so it will take some time to get their responses.
    Right. That her comments were made in jest. I was just saying I hope that they were and why. Maybe I just didn't get her explaination.

    To me it sounded more like older women aren't a threat so why feel threatened? Like pouring gasoline on fire on this board!

    With stuff like that I'm not sure why one wouldn't expect OW to be a little defensive - even if it's in "jest."

    The whole "one is better than the other" thing is so stupid anyhow.

    Our men love us - young or older - for who we ARE. Not how OLD we are. So why put one or the other down or feel threatened by any?

    YW should defend OW because they will be OW some day and OW shouldn't allow dissing on YW because we WERE there once!

    Sorry if you're getting too many OW responses, but a lot of us just hit the "New Posts" button and don't pay attention to which "side" we are on.

    YW could learn a lot from the OW insight, I would think.

    Like I said, in this society, you'll suddenly find yourself on the other side real quick.

  6. #21
    goodchild Guest
    Kirstin, I need yw to respond because the poll is for yw only. I don't mind OW responses.

    You made good points about women defending each other and that is why I posted the thread in the first place. I notice that many ow seem to think of yw as threat to their relationships and I wanted to see if the opposite is true because I don't think it is.

    Even on this thread more than one person has said that yw generally deliberately flirt with their ym in an attempt to 'debunk ow.' I'm saying that even in such cases the ow should not feel threatened by the yw as it is the responsibility of the ym to rebuff such advances. If he falls, then he is responsible, not the yw. OW do flirt with ym as well so other ow could be a threat to the ow/ym relationship as well. so, why feel threaened by yw in particular?

  7. #22
    Kristin's Avatar
    Kristin is offline Senior Member
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    I know - I hate those generalized comments.

    I guess I don't feel threatened by YW and another YW here (Merilove) consistantly posted that OW shouldn't dis YW/OM and that it's the person and not the age. I guess she converted me, so I hate to see it happening ANYWHERE on the boards.

    I disagree with comments that YW do this or OW do that. Unless it's a first person experience with a particular person, it shouldn't be posted like fact!

    So, no, it's definitely not cool if OW do it either!

  8. #23
    entropyembrace Guest
    I personally see them as annoying, kind of like a toddler saying look at me look at me or those little dogs that try to hump your ankles and wont leave you alone and I have found that my fiance feels the same way.
    I think the same way

    If they are going to offer themselves so easily to me they are going to do the same to someone else.

    That or they're just doing it to get attention or have some fun at the expense of someone else. Like the yw someone mentioned earlier that went to hit on a ym with his om.

  9. #24
    goodchild Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by sheila4pd View Post
    Well, you got me curious about what OW have to say about feeling threatened... I will make a poll, do not sue me for copyrights!

    Fire away Sheila! The results should be interesting



    Calling all yw, please vote and add your comments

  10. #25
    tinydancer Guest
    """"I can honestly say I do not feel threatened because many of those things you described are things about my OM ex wife that he has mentioned he does not miss. He says he enjoys my fresh unjaded view on life because it makes him feel young again."""""

    You know, I went on the Oprah Show to answer that very old question lol!
    Does being with a y/m make you feel younger???
    Hell NO....it made me feel ancient, it was something to work through but definitely not a plus lol!
    I would be worried if anyone felt younger or older b/c of the age of their partner......I wouldn't want a man to be with me b/c I made him feel more mature or older, etc....
    I only want the man who loves me for exactly who I am and b/c we are on the same page......regardless of age
    Blessings, TD

  11. #26
    goodchild Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by tinydancer View Post
    """"I can honestly say I do not feel threatened because many of those things you described are things about my OM ex wife that he has mentioned he does not miss. He says he enjoys my fresh unjaded view on life because it makes him feel young again."""""

    You know, I went on the Oprah Show to answer that very old question lol!
    Does being with a y/m make you feel younger???
    Hell NO....it made me feel ancient, it was something to work through but definitely not a plus lol!
    I would be worried if anyone felt younger or older b/c of the age of their partner......I wouldn't want a man to be with me b/c I made him feel more mature or older, etc....
    I only want the man who loves me for exactly who I am and b/c we are on the same page......regardless of age
    Blessings, TD

    No offense Tiny, but many people try to dismiss the fact that having a younger person in their lives make them feel younger; it invigorates them. Over and over I've seen where members here dismiss that and I think that is bull!

    Many older partners do get a kick out of having smooth tight perky skin next to them, the freshness of ideas, the zest for life among a long list of things.

    It is no shame for an older partner to say that an attribute of their younger partner makes them feel younger; that is not to say that he is with her because of her youth. If many more older partner where to be honest about how being with their partner makes them feel then we wouldn't go around trying to dismiss the impact that youth brings to the vibrancy of these relationships. There are many OW who feel a renewed sense of life after being with a ym and they wouldn't date a same age man or older because he does not have that vibrancy and other attributes of the ym. While they are others that would date an older man but the ym revived their zest for life..If we were to be privy to the private conversations between girlfriends talking about the action in bed and him being ready all the time etc and the guys who get the thumbs up by their friends for being with a 'young thing, we certainly wouldn't be having this conversation.For the same reason, many OM wouldn't date a same age woman or older.

    Whether we want to accept it or not, age does play an important factor in the relationship. Often the older person brings experience and life skills and the younger partner brings fresh ideas among other things. This is one of the beauty of age gap relationships and why it works for many people. (of course compatibility is a major factor.)

    If age was not a factor, we wouldn't have a need for this forum. The age difference has both positives and negatives to it. Why gather here and acknowledge the challenges but feel ashame to embrace the positives. I'm tired of people being bashed because they express a desire for a younger or older partner.

  12. #27
    tinydancer Guest
    Just my honest opinion but anyone, male or female who prefers someone just b/c of their age has issues.
    I fell in love with someone younger and YES I was glad this forum existed b/c I thought I had lost my mind!
    We went on to marry, etc....
    Am sure that my comment will get some flack but....oh well!
    To disregard our own generations is kind of sad to me.
    Also, life is a journey and to try to recapture something that is gone is folly.
    To love a person's qualities and where they are in their journey is preferable to me.
    And, btw, you can still bounce a quarter off of any place on my body lol!
    Same with my 45 year old man........yup!
    If it is the youthful package that one is loving...what is the difference between that and the preverbial shiny red sports car or the term (for the ladies) being a Cougar???

  13. #28
    goodchild Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by tinydancer View Post
    To love a person's qualities and where they are in their journey is preferable to me.
    And, btw, you can still bounce a quarter off of any place on me body lol!
    Same with my 45 year old man........yup!
    If it is the youthful package that one is loving...what is the difference between that and the preverbial shiny red sports car or the term (for the ladies) being a Cougar???
    This is it! We try so hard to avoid stereotypes so much, that we feel ashame of ourselves. We avoid saying I love the look of gray hair on an older man for fear that we may be termed as sick. We avoid saying that this hunk of guy (ym) lying next to me makes me giddy. It's ok to think it, just don't say it.

    I did not say that it is ok to love someone because of their age, but nothing is wrong with having a preference for a younger or older partner. Further there's nothing sick in admitting that the younger partner's body and fresh outlook on life makes you feel younger, or the experience and knowledge that the older partner brings to the relationship gives you a sense of security or you get turned on by the wrinkles at the corner of his eyes.

  14. #29
    tinydancer Guest
    Preferences are, imo, just fine lol!
    I can state the things that drew me to all the men I have known in my life but still.........that "shiny red sports car" gets miles on it as the years go by.
    To define ones self through their older or younger love is delusional and shallow to me though.
    Of course I loved my ex husbands qualities, looks included but in no way did I forget all of my years of experience and everywhere I'd been and the generation that included me.
    I hate it when I hear women stating....."I look so young for my age" like it is some sort of rationality to being with a younger man.
    Some of us do look very young for our age and, socially speaking, that seems to be a good thing.
    My ex looked much older which "seemed" to be more acceptable in regard to social pressure.
    Not sure how healthy it is though!
    Don't forget, you will get older and, hopefully, gain more and more inner beauty, experiences, etc...
    Any "security" one might feel with another is not a "fix" for gaining your own!.........male or female, younger or older!
    Last edited by tinydancer; 01-19-2008 at 04:03 PM. Reason: sp

  15. #30
    goodchild Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by tinydancer View Post
    Don't forget, you will get older and, hopefully, gain more and more inner beauty, experiences, etc...

    Any "security" one might feel with another is not a "fix" for gaining your own!.........male or female, younger or older!
    I agree with you on this!

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