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Thread: Tell us about your age gap

  1. #31
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lorenzo
    I'm not sure if I'm doing this right...I'm not that great at all the computer terminology (threads, posts and all that garboldeegook). I'm not currently in a relationship, but find myself presently mostly attracted to much younger ladies (I'm almost 50 and find the 30-35 y/olds most appealing to me. A short while back, I was dating a lady of only 24...she has always dated older men. And, although the age gap was a bit too much for her (too close to her Dad's age) we still remain good friends...and I'm even friends with her family including her dad!

    Many of my work associates (mostly the females) try to lay a guilt trip on me for being interested in younger ladies. But when one of the older ladies is dating a much younger guy, they argue that "that's ok"....no sense trying to point out the double-standard to them, they just get more argumentative.

    Frankly, I don't see the "age thing" as being any sort of indication as to whether one should find another attractive. How would that work? I mean really....would you go up to the one you're attracted to and say "Excuse me, I need to know how old are you 'cause I need to know if it's okay to be attracted to you?" How silly would that be, right? But most of those around me seem to respond that way.

    Age boundaries totally make no sense to me; although I have seen some extremes on TV (Maury Povich) that startled me - he was 62 and she was 12! I believe a relationship essentially depends on how two people feel about each other, and have they passed the "test of time" to ensure it's not just a lust thing.

    Quite a while back, I started chumming around with an older lady that I worked with. We had so much fun together. We could totally confide in each other, and spent many hours just talkiing about anything and every thiing. We spent a lot of time traveling around California where I'd been posted with my work. Eventually things just evolved and we became intimate until I was forced to relocate with my job. She was 46 and I was 29. And when I was 31, I dated a lady of 19. We simply loved each others' company and had an honest fondness for each other. Mostly I've found that the two individuals involved in the intimacy don't have a problem with age differences....it's the friends and family that struggle with it.

    So why am I on this site? I hope to find support for my beliefs. And, also it would be great to meet some new friends in my area to spend time with who believe as I do.

    All the best to every one!

    Lorenzo
    Lorenzo,

    Congrats on your resolve to seek your own happiness, and I hope you find the moral support and comradery you're looking for here at AgelessLove.com.

    I would not let your work associates medal in your personal life or try to convince you that what you're doing is wrong. How do they know about your relationships and what business is it of theirs anyway? The hypocrisy of those women you refer to, who see absolutely nothing wrong with older women dating young guys but berate you for your choice of a younger woman, is astounding! Do they look themselves in the mirror at night? Do they actually hear themselves talk? If I were you I would just AVOID people like that altogether.

    The women you say you find attractive, from 30 to 35, are well above the age of adulthood and your desire to be with someone like that is perfectly acceptable. What's the deal? If you liked women from 25 - 30 there would be nothing wrong with that either. These people need to get a life. Like you say, it's not like you walk up to someone you find attractive and ask her for her ID... and then date her only if she's above 35 or 40. How ridiculous is that?

    I started getting grief about age differences when I was in my mid-30's and I did something about it. I started writing to ladies in the Philippines where the culture is different and people don't frown at things like age difference as much. I met my wife in 1992 and married her a year later when I was 36 and she 21, and we've been together for 15 years. Though we're only 15 years apart, I believe that any two willing and consenting adults who desire to be together should be free to make THEIR OWN CHOICE and not be badgered and harassed about it by other people. My wife and I have friends who are as much as 30 years apart in age, and they're perfectly happy. All are OM/YW couples and all married when she was in her 20's.

    I hope this helps. Feel free to respond publicly or IM me any time.
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  2. #32
    HappyBunny Guest

    Didn't know...

    Quote Originally Posted by SummerBob View Post
    I started getting grief about age differences when I was in my mid-30's and I did something about it. I started writing to ladies in the Philippines where the culture is different and people don't frown at things like age difference as much. I met my wife in 1992 and married her a year later when I was 36 and she 21, and we've been together for 15 years. Though we're only 15 years apart, I believe that any two willing and consenting adults who desire to be together should be free to make THEIR OWN CHOICE and not be badgered and harassed about it by other people. My wife and I have friends who are as much as 30 years apart in age, and they're perfectly happy. All are OM/YW couples and all married when she was in her 20's.
    Hmm...I don't think I ever realized that about you, Summerbob and i've been reading posts for a while. Oh well. But I think that's awesome and agree with you that the Philippines have different customs and a diff. culture. My cousins and uncle are Filipino. I love them to death. Wish you the best.

  3. #33
    Sprollie Guest
    Hello

    I'm 21 and my OM is 59, we have very big age gap but we have been together for 4 years and we get on very well, even though there is an age gap we have loads in common. I love being with him all the time and he loves being with me. The best thing I ever did was meet him.

    So if someone was to ask me if an Age Gap relationship works then I would yes, if your in love any relationship will work no matter what the age difference is.
    Buttercup25 and moonshine like this.

  4. #34
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    Welcome to Ageless

    Sprollie,

    I believe you're new here. Welcome aboard! I hope you find the friends, support and camaraderie you're looking for here.

    I see your age-gap is one of the more impressive ones on Ageless. Your story and testament is an inspiration for us all. Good luck!
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  5. #35
    johnnysbabydoll Guest

    My knight on shining Kawasaki Ninja

    My OM had been coming into my work for a few weeks trying to pursue me. I told him I wasn't looking for a relationship b/c I was going through a bitter divorce, and the best thing he could be to me was a friend. A short time later he asked if he could take me for a ride on his bike and I agreed. I found out he had been through a similar thing just a couple years earlier.

    Over the next couple weeks we continued to talk, he insisted that he would like for there to be more between us, but I told him he had to be patient....and he was! We found out we share the same long-term life goals, we both have always been grounded, have the same passions for life, hobbies, outlook on spirituality. I'ts beautiful because in our relationship there is no age difference

    So, on the fourth of July, I let him know how I felt and we became exclusive! Since then, we've introduced each other to our kids and close family. We teach each other new things everyday, and we're seeing a definite future and making plans on living arrangements. I'm completely head over heels and ...he's definately met his match It's so nice to have found Ageless, where there are people who share this same wonderful feeling

    BTW...he's 46 and I'm 27 and lovin' him
    Last edited by johnnysbabydoll; 07-29-2009 at 02:49 PM. Reason: sp

  6. #36
    may_girl Guest

    20 year age difference here

    He is 50, I am in 30. Sordid story, because we were both with other people when we first started our relationship (I know, I will get flamed to high hell for that - but not everything is as black and white as it seems). We've been together for about two years, and are still waiting for the dust settle from the ruins of our past relationships. As much as I tried to push, our love kept on bringing us back to each other, as cheesy as that sounds. I think in our instance, love really has conquered all, because if we are able to still be together after EVERYTHING we've been through, that's saying a whole hell of a lot.

    He gets me, I've never been made to feel so comfortable and well-loved in my life, and honestly, I never knew a love like this really existed. (I am extremely jaded when it comes to love and romance.) TMI but the sex is out of this world - I never knew it was supposed to be like that either! I think it comes from the deep emotional connection we have... that truly makes everything, including the sex, much much better.

    We met at work, and worked together for about six years before anything happened. I never thought it would. We definitely had a great friendship during that time, but once we started commiserating about our horrible relationships and our ideas of what relationships and love should truly be about I think the deal was sealed.

    Anyway, we have both left this job, and have been "together" for almost two years. And I thought that love, infatuation and all of that fades over time but really, its only gotten better. And that amazes me.

    I do worry about the age gap. Just because of what everyone will think. He is in great shape, very youthful in the way he acts, so I don't worry about him in terms of his health (he'll probably outlive me, honestly). I know that I can't live without him (and "this") though, so that will trump over what anyone else thinks.

    So... here I am Great community here, btw. I've lurked for a long time but decided to come out of the woodwork and introduce myself.
    Last edited by may_girl; 09-06-2009 at 11:28 AM. Reason: grammar
    Buttercup25 likes this.

  7. #37
    QuietDido Guest
    My boyfriend and I share a 15 year age gap. I'm 19 and he's 34. We met online a little over a year ago and have been together ever since.

    Our relationship is biracial as well as an age gap one. He's Filipino (he's from the US though - CA) and I'm white. I've never dated someone outside of my race but it's been a wonderful experience! I love learning about his filipino culture and foods. LOL - it's kind of the opposite of SummerBob's relationship since my boyfriend's the Filipino

    We are still in an LDR at the moment but he comes down to be with me. He's never had a wife or kids so being together for good in the future looks to be a definite possibility. We both are workaholics, love animals, food, movies, music, and our hobbies.

    The age gap doesn't really worry me but some of my friends hate it. The more "racist" ones also hate the fact that he's not white and tell me I'm making a big "mistake". Uhm, okay. I must admit, I do worry about the age gap in the future. He has some bad health risks in the family, he's not very fit, and he doesn't seem to age too well...I'm sincerely worried about him and his future health.

    Regardless, I love him and will always be by his side.

  8. #38
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    RE 20-year difference

    May girl,

    Great story, I love how you describe your relationship and extol the virtues of being with this man. You articulate very well, and it sounds like you have a rock solid relationship. More power to you.

    Do you really think age difference is still a problem at 30+? I hear stories from women who are 30 or older, who still fear "what people will think", and it amazes me that it is still a problem.

    When I was in college I had a friend who was the biggest a-hole about age difference ... but he was okay with a relationship between his female friend, 30, and her boyfriend, 55. He said they "have a beautiful relationship". I guess he thought they were old enough to handle the difference.
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  9. #39
    MissMuffins's Avatar
    MissMuffins is offline Senior Member
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    We work in different departments at the same campus. My lunch break coincided with his department's, and during lunch it came about that we're from the same place, have gone through a lot of the same things, and have kids about the same age. We hold many of the same values, have common interests and similar personality types, and share a warped sense of humor.

    It's neither his nor my first "age gap relationship" and we are both pragmatic enough to admit that there are things that go with the difference in our ages. In 5 years, he'll be retirement age...and I won't. He will be 80 twenty years before me. What we do together is our business and if other people have a problem with that, it's their problem...not ours.

    My family and friends haven't met him, but know I'm seeing someone 19 years older than I am. They don't have a problem with it. The only negative comment I received had to do with his track record and not the age difference.

    His ex wife, sons and friends have met me; his sons had a problem with it, his friends didn't, and his ex kept her opinion to herself. His sons' "issues" come from the idea of their dad seeing someone who isn't their mom and have nothing to do with me. Although it hurts me to see what their drama does to their dad, I don't take their nonsense personally.

    I'm happy with him and he seems happy with me. That's the bottom line...and, to be honest, the rest of it really isn't anybody's business.
    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

  10. #40
    Jacq Guest

    19 yrs

    He's 22, I'm 41. Its my first AGR really. Though I believe some would consider my first marriage a AGR. He was 10 years older than I was. I never felt that to be a gap though.

    My relationship with my YM is still new and I dont know where it will lead, so I'm happy to have found a place I can ride this road out on, where folks will understand.

    So far so good though!!!

  11. #41
    NolaRice Guest

    New here 25 and crazy about a 46 year old

    Hi all!

    I am new to the site, but not new to age gap dating. I have always had a strange attraction to older men and at one point even purposely went after older guys only. In the past, I had a 2 year relationship with a guy 17 years older than me.

    After that relationship, I actually thought maybe my attraction to older men was not a good thing and was trying only to date guys 35 and under.

    Earlier this summer, I was at a happy hour and meeting a lot of new people. It was a lot of people maybe about 20 and way too many names to remember. But one guy (who is 46) said to me "Hi, my name is so and so and you better not forget me I am giving you a quiz in ten minutes." Being a smarty pants New York raised woman, I went back for my quiz! LOL.

    Didn't see him again for a week or two and then ran into him at another happy hour and we talked for a while and I encouraged him to come out to some events I was hosting.

    We started hanging in the same social circle (which is a mix of people 20s-50s) and seeing each other more and more. Then we realized we only lived 10 minutes from each other and started carpooling to some different events. We really started to notice that we just "get each other" We could sit down to talk and joke at 5pm and the next you know it will be midnight.

    Lately, in September, we had been hanging out at least 3 times a week and had even kissed and had even hosted a party together, but I think we were afraid to go there or put a label on it.

    But recently, I realized, that I can not be with out him. He is my person, age difference or not. And the best part is, I DID NOT go seeking him out like in the past, it happened so natural he could be any age younger, same as me or older and I would feel the same.

    So this past Tuesday, I stopped by his house and told him "I like you. Like really like you, in more than a friendly way. There is no other man I want to kiss and if you kissed another woman it would break my heart." He was ecstatic and feels the same way but was afraid to tell me.

    So we are now officially together and loving it. It's a 21 year gap that we barely even feel. And it's funny, we told a few mutual friend last nite and their response was "It's about time!"

  12. #42
    sparrow0 Guest

    30 year gap

    well, my OM and I met 3 years ago and had a short..stressful and painful few months together. What we like to call round 1. For millions of reasons there was no way it was going to work at that time.. and I thought we wouldnt work ever.

    Since then I had a few AGR's with men 20-30 years older than I. I was actively a part of this community a couple years ago when my first long term AGR was in full swing. This community helped me immensly to deal with the unique difficulties of being in an AGR, especially being a college girl in a city.

    Getting back to my OM of current..(and future).. we recently re-connected. He relocated back to the same state as me, and contacted me just to say hi. We've both changed hugely.. for the better, and after a few innocent, friendly emails and chat conversations we both felt the love that we shared come back in a huge sweeping wave... nearly knocked us off our feet. Now we are working on honesty and open communication. We are planning to grow with eachother, and learn from eachother. We want to be together and are very aware of the many challenges that lay ahead. But we are committed to working together to overcome them, to be the couple we see in our daydreams as long as it feels right, and have decided to let go of eachother if that is what ends up being best and right for us. For now, we are taking it one day at a time... falling madly in love with eachother, enjoying the feelings we feel,and being grateful to have eachother in our lives.

  13. #43
    *Blaze* Guest

    Hi all

    My name is blaze i am 20 and i'm in a YW/OM Relationship, when my OM and I first stared seeing each other it was just going to be a fling over summer, but it developed into a lot more and we ended up deeply in love with each other. Now 2 years later and i cant imagine being without my wonderful OM who is 34 years my senior. We have been through so much together but it has only made us closer.

    He has a daughter that is 18 and she has major drug/alcohol problems and has made life as difficult as possible for us, she has tried nearly everything to break us up from lieing to my family that my OM threatens to kill himself if i leave (Which is not true and worried my mother sick), telling the cops i was underage to get him arrested (Which I am not), and then after that did not work she started pulling out knives and threatening to kill us (That resulted in her being kicked out of the house). Since then she has continue threatening us, using black mail and manipulation to make my OM feel guilty for kicking her out and being with me, and has said she will kill herself (on multiple occasions) if he does not let her move back in and kick me out.

    Luckily the rest of his family love me and think its great that my OM has finally found a wonderful partner.
    My mother and grandparents have welcomed him into our family with open arms and think hes a great guy, my farther on the other hand disowned me when we told him and i haven't talked or heard from him in months.

    I was so happy when i found this amazing site, its really nice to know we are not so alone after all.

    Thank you, and all the best for your own Relationships
    Blaze

  14. #44
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    Welcome Blaze.

    Quote Originally Posted by *Blaze*
    My mother and grandparents have welcomed him into our family with open arms and think hes a great guy
    After all the dropped jaws, fits of rage, anger and yelling sessions you hear about when people present their older/younger loves to parents, it sure is refreshing to hear this! It's nice to know that some people in this world are open-minded and accepting (your father's reaction notwithstanding).

    Sorry about all the trouble you went through with his daughter. She sounds like someone with major issues and in need of serious help.
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  15. #45
    *Blaze* Guest
    I still don't understand why it is more socially acceptable to be a drug addict and an alcoholic, than be in a healthy, loving relationship with an older man/woman.
    Buttercup25 likes this.

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