Thread: Tell us about your age gap

Hi I'm new here. This is my first post. I am seeking some support from people in similar situations as me. Well me and my OM have been going out for about a year. We are 25 years apart. I am 22 and he is 47. We met online a year ago. We were supposed to meet up just for sex and have a one night stand. I really wasn't expecting to hear from him ever again. But he kept wanting to see me more. We get along great and we have great chemistry and I have become attached to him. He has helped me in so many ways. I've come such a long way since a year ago, thanks to him. His knowledge and intellect and maturity are a plus that I just couldn't find in someone my own age. I would have never seen this ever happening to me a year ago. Surely I wouldn't actively seek out someone 25 years older than me. I would rather it be 10 or 15. That's nothing. But I really do like him and I like what we have together. It's starting to get more serious and I'm starting to think about the future. How he will be old before me. BUt there are no guarantees in a future that is so uncertain. I could even die before him or go and marry someone my own age who becomes terminally ill and dies early. So why should I worry about that....if he dies, he dies. Might as well enjoy what we have together while it lasts....How do you feel about that?

I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum, me being the OW, but I'd say you have the right attitude. Too many people worry so much about all the "what ifs" that they can't fully enjoy what they have in front of them. If he makes you happy, then that's all that should matter.

Originally Posted by Titan0212

Eat that match.com.

At least they don't dictate the age of your match, like some other services.

Originally Posted by Marie07

Thanks for this response--as I am in a similar situation. I'm 28 and my OM is 62. We dated for three years, then broke up for two, and have been back together for about three months now. We had lived together before I bought my home, and it looks like this time we are in it without reservation... I'm thinking marriage within two years. But he does still ask me why I find him handsome, and he still has some reservations about him growing old with me. He's physically fit and still plays hockey weekly, but he doesn't want me losing out, he says. I don't know how I can convince him otherwise, other than to just show through actions that I'm happy with him and the love he has. At least he loves and wants kids, so that's a good thing. But the depression over getting older alongside me, I don't know how to completely comfort him.

My husband is the same way. He isn't in great shape. He has a messed up back and COPD. He feels he will 'hold me back' from what I want to do in life. And he often ask me what I see in him. I think he is adorable and wonderful and I love him very much. I tell him every day. I think after nearly 8 years he is starting to see I'm not going anywhere.

It just takes time and effort.

I'm new here. First post. I've been dating a younger woman (she'll be 20 next month), I am 42. We met at work, knew each other for awhile, then started hanging out casually, then eventually got romanticlly involved. I look and act much younger than I physically am and she was shocked at first when I mentioned (before we actually dated) how old I was. She's dated older men before but no one who had two decades on her. I think she got involved with me because she found me attractive, felt she could learn a lot from me, I make her laugh and overall she seems to really enjoy my company. Too, she feels like I am able to understand her better than most, that I am able to have insights into her personality she didn't even know about herself. For me, at first, I had my reservations about entering the relationship. Obviously there are areas we don't relate on, like I mention stuff before her time or something from my years of knowledge and experiencing of the world and it's all news to her. Our outlooks are different in respect to the fact I see the world through many more years of experience. I was afraid (and admittantly still am to a degree) as I know people grow and change most dramatically in their 20's and well I wonder if she'll get bored with me or one day I'll get a speech something to the effect of her wanting to explore life on her own more or she wants to explore other relationship possibilities. But, I was just enjoying her company, her spirit, her as a person, so much that I realized that I didn't want to project negatively on our relationship and potential future. I didn't want to sacrifice the connection we had based upon hypothetical problems. I mean, how often do we really connect with someone irregardless of age? I just count my blessings. She's helped me see the world with a fresh perspective again, she makes me laugh and warms my heart and so...

Hello there Young@Heart. I'm in a similar relationship with me being the younger woman at age 22 and my boyfriend being 47. We,too, had our questions about if this would work. Sometimes we are on different levels than each other, him being more mature. But yeah, we get along great and we each help each other see a new perspective on life. He has his wisdom and experience and his life together, I have my youth, just starting out on life. I think it makes the relationship more interesting. I would say if the feelings are right, follow your heart, you have nothing to lose. However, me at age 20 was a lot different than me at age 22, so I agree with you that, being young, she could change her mind. My boyfriend, however, has helped me a lot in becoming who I am and in being confident in myself and we have a great connection, so I do not having any intentions on leaving him. If it's right, it will work out and I wish you luck

Originally Posted by QuietDido

I agree, that's totally true.

I mean, not that it's a bad thing....but there are gay advocacy groups all around. there's even one at my college (surprising)...they are all about "being who you want to be with." Well, same goes for age gap relationships! It's legal and there's nothing wrong with it. Just a little different.

haha but if I started an "age gap" support group, I'd be mocked. Most people here think a big "age gap" is 2 years: "OMG hez 20 and im 18 oh noez"

YES. This has been very much on my mind recently, since a very close friend of mine came out as a lesbian. As I see her work through things, including the approval and awkwardness of others, well, I'm kind of mad because there is so much support for someone being gay and coming out, but aside from this site, hardly any that i've found to support people who are attracted to or love someone outside their predetermined 'age-bracket'.
And every time yahoo posts a story about an age gap couple, there are such cruel comments below. Sometimes it gets to me... :P

The people who comment on those stories are cowards. They post their pot-shots in the comment section of a news story where people are unlikely to retort and where they can remain anonymous. If they had to actually engage they'd be forced to confront the shallowness and hypocrisy of their views.

Hello!

I hope you don't mind me posting on here. It's great to hear so many positive AGR stories.

My name's Faye. I'm a features writer for the women's magazines in the UK.

I was wondering if anyone would consider sharing their story with me to appear in one of the magazines? It would be a very positive story and sensitively written. You would get a full read-back and be paid a fee.

It would be great do some positive publicity.

The couple involved would ideally be based in the UK.

If anyone has any questions please email me on faye[at]catersnews[dot]com. I would be more than happy to answer any questions you have without there being any pressure to go ahead with the article.

Hopefully speak to you soon.

Thanks,
Faye x