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Thread: Tricky one!

  1. #31
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    Nov 2004
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    Virginia
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    I'm very sorry to hear about your struggle. It sounds like you have tried, but he hasn't made an effort to make the marriage work. Maybe he can't. He needs to find a new lease on life, but at 82 it can be very hard. I wish there was a graceful way you could get out of that marriage and be with someone who can make you happy. Life is very sad that way.

    My sister is in a similar situation with a man who just completely lost interest in her, and now she lives alone in Georgia where she teaches at the University, even though they're technically still "married". He still lives in the house they shared in Norfolk, Va.

    The job market is a whole other story. Age discrimination is a big problem, but I'd like to convince myself it's getting better. Where I work there are a lot of people in their 40s, 50s and some 60s. At 57 I still get hits on my LinkedIn account, and I got two job offers within a month after I got laid off at 48. Also, my sister got her PhD and landed a professor job in her mid 50s. So there is evidence, at least anecdotally, that age discrimination is at least abaiting, if not reversing itself, in this country. Remember that the "baby boom" generation comprises a vast number of people and a huge chunk of the population, and there is strengh and voice in numbers. At the very least maybe lawmakers will start making policies that will favor hiring us.

    I say these things to comfort myself as well as give hope to others who are reaching these age milestones.
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  2. #32
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Dec 2008
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    Panama
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    If Jon is telling you to stay, by all means, stay.

    Your marriage seems non-salvageable. Your husband seems controlling, I mean, if he does not like your music, he could at least let you listen to it.

    I have a very good friend whose husband likes to build model airplanes. He has devoted a whole room in their apartment to models, huge worktable, and model boxes. He spends every hour when he is at home, in the "model" room. He even put a computer and a TV there, so he can watch TV while building models. There is no room for an extra person in this room, so my friend has to watch TV in the living room. On top of this, he runs a model-building club with like minded members. My friend could care less about models, she likes parties and a social life. So she is basically living the single life, going to social functions alone, and going to dinner without her husband. She is trying to pretend she is not married, and she manages, minus the sex of course, in that regards, she is like a nun.

    I would say she is not unhappy, she has tons of girl friends, and goes to nice places.

    My husband is not too active either (even if he is 21 years younger than me). If I want to go to the beach, or to a fancy restaurant, I go with my girlfriends. If I want to go on walks, I go with my dog.

    Keep traveling for as long as you can, talking to Jon, having a romance when you meet, but it does not seem that he is, at present, ready to commit to support you.
    ukfireball likes this.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  3. #33
    Helena is offline Neophyte
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    Jan 2015
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    Hi shelikeskitties
    Yes that really looks like what I am leaning to. In fact that is all I can do for now. But keeping an open mind on things.
    Cheers
    SheLikesKitties likes this.

  4. #34
    Helena is offline Neophyte
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    Jan 2015
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    Good quote

    “The greatest tragedy of the family is the unlived lives of the parents.”
    ― C.G. Jung
    Air likes this.

  5. #35
    Helena is offline Neophyte
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    Jan 2015
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    Thank you summerbob for you thoughts. Yes life is often very sad.

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