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Thread: I'm Too Old

  1. #16
    Tinkabell Guest
    Dans right there....

    there IS no 'friends with benefits'.....Its just an excuse to.....f

    It is Inevitable that sooner or later....someone falls for the 'other'....

    and it just ends in tears....

    Sorry to hear about your plight....but as the others have said....best to look at it now...and start thinking of hitting the road....

    Unless you want to look at adoption, but....is the love strong enough???

  2. #17
    jellybean400 Guest
    Yeah, i do like "friends with benefits" better...

    No, i dont love him that strong yet to even think of marriage or children...plus i've never wanted children my whole life. I cant see myself changing that for someone else, even if i loved them ALOT.

    I am at the beginning of the "attachment" feelings...missing him after he leaves, wondering what he's doing...which after almost two years i think is **** good! (I mean that i could stay "un-attached" to him for that long) For quite a while we saw each other about once a month...now its almost once a week...

    I can say that i do CARE about him...and i can see the next feeling will be love. I guess thats why i'm trying to nip it in the bud. I can already imagine how much i'll miss him...its so hard to be the one to end something, but it's bad when it ends, either way...

    Thanks again for all the replies. I really appreciate it!

  3. #18
    jellybean400 Guest
    Well, i ended it

  4. #19
    skatergirl Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by jellybean400
    Well, i ended it
    What happend...r u ok?
    You are brave
    You are strong
    You are walking into your future
    To the love waiting there
    You don't know what the future will hold
    He may change
    He may not
    But you are growing
    And asking for more
    Asking for what is yours
    You are believing in yourself
    In your life
    In respecting yourself

  5. #20
    jellybean400 Guest
    Thanks SO MUCH...

    aside from the pain...and feeling like i wanna puke...how am I? i'll be OK eventually. i'll write more about what happened tomororw. thank you again, J

  6. #21
    Dan Echo Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by jellybean400
    Thanks SO MUCH...

    aside from the pain...and feeling like i wanna puke...how am I? i'll be OK eventually. i'll write more about what happened tomororw. thank you again, J
    It does hurt. Been there myself, but you did the right thing. One electronic hug sent your way.

    Dan Echo

  7. #22
    Inahnia Guest
    Hey JB...so sorry you are going through this. I went through much the same thing. I had dated a younger man for 2 years (17 years younger) from age 45 to 47. I broke up with him for the same reasons. I had accepted that my love life was over and was trying to make the best of enjoying my grandkids and my mom and dad, when out of the blue I met my now husband. Just goes to show, you can still find love after age 50 (when most of the YM no longer consider us "hott"). So don't give up....he's out there somewhere.

  8. #23
    roisin Guest
    Jellybean , i am sort of in the same boat ,so i know how you feel . my man i and i have been seeing each other for a year and both really liked each other . however he said from the very start , he did not want any fall , that he did not want me to get hurt etc and yet we went ahead and over the year , we did talk honestly about the age gap and he wanting children , I am 51 , he is 33 and i am seperated and have a family age range 17- 29 .
    this week we chatted it out again and have decided to call it quits , the big thing being he wants to get married and have children. i can see he would make a great father , how could i begrudge him ? in some way i do think hes right to want this at 33 and if he were my son i would be happy with this decision . so i am letting him go with a full heart .
    thats not to say somewhere deep inside , where i dont want to admit it to myself, i have a little fantasy that maybe hell be back with all this sorted in his head ! meanwhile , i am not going to be contacting him .
    good luck , isnt it great to hear everyone insisting you WILL meet someone !!

  9. #24
    The Shadow's Avatar
    The Shadow is offline Senior Member
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    Jellybean,
    (((HUGS))) Only wish found this post sooner.Yes it very sad to hear what you are going thur.When I read,when you said you were too old....NON-SENSE!!
    As we all know here,age is only a number and meaningless number at that.Age has nothing to do with it.Maturity is the most important,here.It's just that your guy wasnt ready.Yes,there are some that are.Have always been told when you aint"looking" is when the right one will come along.Stay strong...Sis,your knight is out there.
    Take this time to heal.Please stay,as you are with friends,here.I've been helped many times here.


    The Shadow
    Last edited by The Shadow; 09-20-2005 at 02:31 AM.

  10. #25
    Faith47 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by skatergirl
    Girl, there are men out there who would not make you feel this way. I mean, it's fine to have fun with you etc., but when the question of real love comes up he turns a little fair weather...as long as things are the way he wants them he's down but as soon as you want to speak on matters of the heart...well...
    THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE OLD! 47, in my opinion is a fabulous time for women. I think that's awesome that you've had a wonderful relationship with him for 2 years...yay! But now that you've had this heads up, maybe it's time to reassess. Personally, I would rather be alone (I have a blast alone...probably because I'm nuts! ) Then compromise my chance to find true love by hanging with someone who is not going to give you what you dream of. Don't accept the mediocre, believe in the impossible becoming possible...that's what life is about!

    Right on girl! specially "believe in the impossible becoming possible".

    I will always be a dreamer. I will never settle for less than what I want. I prefer being alone than being with someone because I might end up alone. sooooo what if I do because I didnt find the right man for me? I dont care. I truly dont! So Annie, I must be nuts too cause I too enjoy being alone

  11. #26
    jellybean400 Guest
    Thanks so much for the posts and advice.

    I am new here, but i really feel like i learned so much, and got so much GOOD advice and support. I see that there are people going thru almost the exact situation that i am.

    I knew when i came here, that i was going to have to end it. Maybe i just needed to see that it really WAS the right thing to do.

    I did not "choose" him because he was young...but the relationship did end because of our age difference. We had different goals, and different paths to take in life. I think thats what hurts the most. We had often discussed "if only we were a little closer in age," and i had said to him, maybe in a few years we will meet again, and somehow it will work.

    I know he has his life to live. I am in the middle of mine already. Its very sad, and it hurts, and i will miss him SO BAD. We never even really had a "fight" in two years.

    I really wanted to be by his side, while he experienced everything he's going to experience...

    But, I knew last nite was the nite to do it, because i was last on his weekend "to do" list once again...

    He doesnt understand, and asks what he did wrong. Yet he had told me all along that our relationship would go on until i didnt want it to anymore...

    Its hard to turn off the phone, the Messenger, everything...knowing he's out there...I want to see him so bad.

    I know it gets better, i've been thru breakups before. Hes just such a good match for me in so many ways...thanks again for listening... J
    Last edited by jellybean400; 09-11-2005 at 07:57 PM.

  12. #27
    Patricia Guest
    Congratulations! You are very strong to have ended it yourself. I know it really hurts. I broke off my 4 year relationship last spring and am just bouncing back now. Take the time you need to recover before you start dating. Take it from me, the best remedy for you at this point is...SHOPPING!

    Patricia (running off to pay for the latest eBay purchase)

  13. #28
    jellybean400 Guest
    Well, i re-read this thread for some support, and to give an update.

    He came up to me tonite at work, as he's been coming up to me for the last few nites, all nice and friendly and flirty, making sure our bodies touch. You dont know what torture this is for me...and he knows how attracted to him i am. I was trying not to look into his eyes.

    He knows now that i'm changing shifts. When i was trying to act standoffish, i guess he finally got the hint. He said something like, "I guess you wont have time for me anymore," in regards to the new shift. I have already told him it was over. My mouth was so dry i could hardly say anything. Plus i was getting tears in my eyes. I finally just said that we could talk later, because i dont like anything like that going on at work. I end up in the ladies room crying (and i did).

    Then i turned my phone off. I hate this so much. I want things to be good. I dont want to miss him every single day and want to hold him so bad. I dont even want to read any sex posts anymore because i think about him.

    Sorry...needed to vent. Thanks again for this site.

  14. #29
    ~Guinavere~ Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by jellybean400
    Well, i re-read this thread for some support, and to give an update.

    He came up to me tonite at work, as he's been coming up to me for the last few nites, all nice and friendly and flirty, making sure our bodies touch. You dont know what torture this is for me...and he knows how attracted to him i am. I was trying not to look into his eyes.

    He knows now that i'm changing shifts. When i was trying to act standoffish, i guess he finally got the hint. He said something like, "I guess you wont have time for me anymore," in regards to the new shift. I have already told him it was over. My mouth was so dry i could hardly say anything. Plus i was getting tears in my eyes. I finally just said that we could talk later, because i dont like anything like that going on at work. I end up in the ladies room crying (and i did).

    Then i turned my phone off. I hate this so much. I want things to be good. I dont want to miss him every single day and want to hold him so bad. I dont even want to read any sex posts anymore because i think about him.

    Sorry...needed to vent. Thanks again for this site.

    You work together? I don't remember seeing anywhere that you work together. That would make it even more difficult to deal with the breakup if you are both in the same workplace! One of the reasons I never got involved with anyone I worked with!

  15. #30
    jellybean400 Guest
    Yes, we work together. That's how we met. Yes its hard, and i will listen to good advice from now on, like "dont date someone at work!"

    Our building is large, with about 400 workers, and hes at the other end, but we're still too close for comfort. In a couple weeks i will be on a totally different shift than him.

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