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Thread: I'm Too Old

  1. #31
    MerAlove23 Guest
    Jelly Bean I'm so sorry!!! Be glad you found out now instead of later...I know 2 years is a long time but unfortunatly he was to immature to be upfront before.... I would cut off all ties and move on!! whether you find someone younger, older, or same age... you'll find happiness!!

  2. #32
    Softsong's Avatar
    Softsong is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    South Carolina
    Actually she has known all along. It was what they both agreed upon then. As Special K says, he did nothing wrong. Her needs changed and he has remained as when they began their relationship.

    Of course, it is remotely possible that her having ended it will make him aware that he maybe has changed, too. He may love her. But if he does want kids and she does not...there is no place to go for them. So it is best she keep it ended as she is doing.

  3. #33
    jellybean400 Guest
    The only thing that i can say he did "wrong" was to send me mixed signals. But that may be just the way i took things.

    He was pissed whenever i dated someone else, or told him i had "company" when he wanted to come over. I took it as jealousy...i now feel that it was just his ego suffering, or the fact that he was inconvenienced by not being able to come over every time he wanted to...

    He always told me about his "dates" and people he was seeing...i just never showed that it bothered me.

    He had also mentioned several times about how great it would be to live here with me.

    But now, if he keeps coming by my job and trying to "tempt" me, i will let him know that its unacceptable.

  4. #34
    littleowl's Avatar
    littleowl is offline Senior Member
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    Sep 2004


    Quote Originally Posted by suicideblonde
    it seems that women do mostly feel that way if the F buddy system often times is more than once... I it is funny but as my students read the line from Arthur Miller's play, The Crucible, I always stop to discuss it as I think overall it does ring true no matter what century or decade or how liberated we have become. The line is : "Spoken or silent, a promise is made in any bed." And sometimes we do learn the hard way...

    My best to you and hope you do find someone who can give you that "promise".

    What a great quote!
    Nobody ever told me, I found out for myself. You've got to believe in foolish miracles. -Ozzy Osbourne

  5. #35
    beautiful Guest

    OW dating YM

    so its good to know that there are other woman out there dealing with the same things that I am dealing with.. I am not sure how to post yet so I am going to tell my story in my reply. Please forgive my ignorance...

    I am in my 30's and I am dating a guy 13 yrs younger. We worked together for several years and then we had a briefe encounter that lasted 3 months and he got scared and ran away. I let him run without and even A thought of stopping him even though i was hurt because we had an amazing connection..

    He starting seeing someone else in our company right away, in fact I believe he was interested in her while we were dating.. anyway their relationship within a few months was totally crazy and destructive and the only reason i know is because people felt the need to tell me even though i really didn't want to know...

    I saw him one last time and it felt like the end for me and so I never called him or made any attempts to contact him, that was a first for me. Usually i want to know why and so on .. He on the other hand would send me emails every 3 weeks or so, just saying little things like " Hi, or Congrats on the house I bought, etc. " my responses were usually one liners, like " thanks" and Im fine thanks".

    anyway we both get promoted in our company and we are working closely together again and it was so clear that we had something very strong and very intense. we began seeing eachother again and he was the first to say " I love you and I can't believe i ever let you go", he was raised in the church and has some pretty conservative feelings about relationships at the same time he drinks everynight that he's with his friends (when we are not together and has crazy adventures due to drugs and alcohol..

    By the way I am a single mother, he loves my kid but i have not encourage that relationship because I don't want my son to get hurt.. This young Man says things like I want to marry you, he tells me I am his future and he is going to make me his wife, I could go on but I think you get the idea.

    As an older woman ready to settle down, how do I deal with someone who still needs to spend 75% of his time with his friends getting drunk??? he always says hes not like me, that when I was his age I was wild and crazy that he just hangs with his buddies and gets drunk at someones house and i shouldn't worry..

    I don't trust it, and then theres the issue of not being able to reach him at times.. like tonight, he went camping over night with a group of Guy's supposedley and was out of range and could not call me. Ok thats resonable i guess and then this morning he send me a text telling me how much he misses me and loves and how I am the love of his life buy the time I got around to calling and texting him he doesn't answer. I think I am loosing my mind, I don't know what to do except run aways as fast as possible. I need serious help???


  6. #36
    SuperGirl's Avatar
    SuperGirl is offline His "Old Lady" lol
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Beautiful Ohio
    Maybe he is spending his time that way because there is nothing else to do because you won't allow him to spend it with you?? The reason I say this is because before me and my ym moved in with eachother he spent most of his time with his friends....however they stayed at his house play world of warcraft and drinking there No bars unless I was with him. He didn't like going without me. know your situation better than I. Could it be out of boredom or is he running the bars like crazy? Bars are bad news in my opinion.
    What a long, strange trip it's been.

  7. #37
    Rozie Guest
    This is an ancient thread and while I appreciate that people can reread these old things and benefit from them, I'm not sure the OP benefits from having an issue that is years old dredged up. Just a thought. She's not "too old", but this thread is!

  8. #38
    SuperGirl's Avatar
    SuperGirl is offline His "Old Lady" lol
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Beautiful Ohio
    Yep. You're right. Old thread. But I'm new Fogive me. Good subject tho.
    What a long, strange trip it's been.

  9. #39
    tinydancer Guest
    But...a very painful one to our friend Jill!
    BTW.......JILL...............where the hell are you???????????
    I miss you lady!
    Love, J

  10. #40
    dmjoy's Avatar
    dmjoy is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Is there a way to close old threads from new posts, yet leave them open for people to read? Might be more kind to all?
    "I don't know the key to sucess but the key to failure is trying to please everyone else."

  11. #41
    tinydancer Guest
    That is a GREAT idea!!!!!!

  12. #42
    LADave is offline Born 200 years too late
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Los Angeles, California
    I would say maybe just for this forum, in case people don't want old problems resurrected. Allow old Chit Chat, Sexually Speaking, et al., threads to be dusted off and brought out, without any restrictions. I enjoy seeing new light on old threads, and I've brought out a couple myself.

    As for threads in the Relationship Support sections, how about having a mod PM the OP after the thread has been inactive for a while. Ask if the OP wishes it closed, or is happy to leave the thread open for further discussion.
    "You've got to dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never going to hurt."--Anon

  13. #43
    Kristin's Avatar
    Kristin is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    A big part of the benefit of this format is to be able to learn from the multitude of posts. People can learn from other's expriences.If a member is uncomfortable with an old thread, the can always delete it or request that it be closed. But there are just too many threads to have to contact each member and ask if they want it closed.

  14. #44
    Sadin Guest

    Cool Ol 48 / Ym 29

    Sorry Jellybean!

    My 2 cents:

    None of us here could truely give a decisive opinion one way or another without more information.

    Maybe its the scientist in me. Do an experiment. Wait a week or so and talk to him again about long term relationship. Do it 3-5 times, and if you continue to get the cold shoulder then you'll have your answer. It very well could be that he is scared of the possibility of falling in deep true love.

    In my case:

    Our relationship started off fast and furious. Then arguements started because she wanted a partner in life. At the time it was like a hammer to the head. A shock value that stunned me, and it caused me to have doubts in myself. Once I evaluated the pros/cons for myself, and how I was beginning to feel for her. I took the next step, and we moved in together. The age gap has came up several, and I mean several times. Because, she is worried about long term value. I'm not to worried about it, because I know myself, and I'm the type of person whom never gives up.

  15. #45
    luneib Guest
    I dated a guy, it was just 2 times, but I knew when we first met he was a great guy, a keeper, the only thing, I was 53 at the time, he was 26, a big age gap. On our last date we went to the park, there is an amphitheater there, we had stopped at McDonalds for some picnic food, brought some chairs, we went and listed to the bands. It was a fun date, even he thought so, on the way back to my place he was talking about how he wants to find someone around his age to get married to and have kids. I'm not one to hold anyone back, but it made me feel so old since I can't have children, and it also made me feel so sad. Here was a great guy, another great guy that was out of reach for me just because of the age thing and the fact he wanted a family which I was unable to give him. I used to think about that alot as I had dated alot of younger men, some didn't want kids, and others who were on the fence about it and I would say to them that I was willing to adopt, which of course is not the same as having your own baby, your own flesh and blood.

    Sometimes when a man is younger than you, you just have to let him go. If you want to just have fun together as friends, then that's all it can be. It's not fair to the guy if he is young and wants to settle down with a family of his own. I know, makes me feel old too, also inadequate to a point not being able to ever give him what he wants (a family) that is. We have to do the mature thing.

    Have your fun with your bf, but you have to eventually let him go. Believe me, I've been there.

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