Platonic Love
 

I found this the other day. Let's share our ideas on platonic love...


No Platonic Love

- William Cartwright (1611-1643)

Tell me no more of minds embracing minds,
And hearts exchang'd for hearts;
That spirits spirits meet, as winds do winds,
And mix their subt'lest parts;
That two unbodied essences may kiss,
And then like Angels, twist and feel one Bliss.

I was that silly thing that once was wrought
To practise this thin love;
I climb'd from sex to soul, from soul to thought;
But thinking there to move,
Headlong I rolled from thought to soul, and then
From soul I lighted at the sex again.

As some strict down-looked men pretend to fast,
Who yet in closets eat;
So lovers who profess they spririts taste,
Feed yet on grosser meat;
I know they boast they souls to souls convey,
Howe'r they meet, the body is the way.

Come, I will undeceive thee, they that tread
Those vain aerial ways
Are like young heirs and alchemists misled
To waste their wealth and days,
For searching thus to be for ever rich,
They only find a med'cine for the itch.

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platonic love

Platonic \Pla*ton"ic\, Platonical \Pla*ton"ic*al\, a. [L. Platonicus, Gr. ?: cf. F. platonique.]

1 . Of or pertaining to Plato, or his philosophy, school, or opinions.

2 . Pure, passionless; nonsexual; philosophical.

Platonic bodies , the five regular geometrical solids; namely, the tetrahedron, hexahedron or cube, octahedron, dodecahedron, and icosahedron.

Platonic love , a pure, spiritual affection, subsisting between persons of opposite sex, unmixed with carnal desires, and regarding the mind only and its excellences; -- a species of love for which Plato was a warm advocate.

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Hmm, Maria...I don't know
 

Platonic love?? Difficult for me to believe in, Maria.

When I like a woman, I almost always imagine sexual
union with her even when I know that it can never
happen. This is probably why I am such a flirt, so often.

Isn't this just the way many men are "built?" ;)

It's easier for me to envision platonic love between
myself and another man.

I used to believe in it in my teenager years. That avoided me many troubles with my family... ;)

I believe a love may and often starts platonically, but well, I'm like you on that, I need the rest of the "stuff" to grow with the relationship.

Harrison, have you ever had a love that stayed platonic, if you don't mind to share? http://www.cutegifs.blogger.com.br/minicute295.gif

Plato believed that this kind of love was more pure, since once two become lovers, the lover and the beloved perceive each other differently, and not in a true light. We see the beloved with different eyes.. or through the eyes of romantic love, which Plato believed clouded our vision of their true selves. We overlook thier faults and "imperfections", not taking them into account, and therefore not "loving" them in a true sense or platonic sense.

Ok.. that is what I remember from my Philosophy of Love and Sex class from college.. so if I messed up, it's been a long time!

Did you guys ever watch the movie "When Harry Met Sally"? They talk about this quite a bit. Harry tells Sally "men and women can NEVER be friends, because the sex part ALWAYS gets in the way". She claims that's not true, she has many men friends, and Harry disagrees, saying they all want to have sex with her, that a man can never be just friends with a woman he finds attractive. She says "so they can be friends with a woman they DON'T find attractive then. And he says "no, you pretty much want to nail them too" hehe :)
It's a great movie and funny as heck, but I've always agreed with Harry. I think it's difficult to just have a friendship with a male.

Platonic issues
 

Harrison, have you ever had a love that stayed platonic, if you don't mind to share?

Well, Maria...

I never really had a platonic love in the first place.
There were casual friendships with women, but never
on a really deep level.

That doesn't mean it can never happen, just that it
hasn't yet. :)

And I agree with loy2scully's comment (from Harry and
Sally) about how it doesn't help if you try to be friends
with ugly or not very attractive girls....

When I find myself liking a woman who is plain, it's
probably because of her friendly personality and/or her
quick mind, and then, sure enough ---- I then start
thinking about sleeping with her. :p

Re: Platonic issues
 

Oh my. I love that!
Honest and so very true!

But you know, I am the same way. When I have a male friend, I can't help but think about having sex with him. But I just wonder about it, not dwell on it. If he is not attravtive to me, physically or mentally, I dismiss the sex part rather quickly, but if he does appeal to me heart, body or soul, yes, I daydream about sex with him. Just being honest here and pointing out that women can be that way too.

I do believe in having platonic friendships with guys ;) after all, most of my "best friends" are male ;) and I know for sure it's platonic on my side ... - but of course, I got to admit that I found out that one or the other of them did develop feelings for me (and no, it was not primarily about sex :p )- but they got over it, and we kept remaining very good friends (even when they got new gfs ;) )

I may wonder about how it would be like having sex with a male friend, but if it is a situation that I know we would never be relationship-bound, I don't dwell on that and never pursue it.

I do believe that platonic love is a reality. There have been men friends in my life that I have loved deeply, but never had sex with them.

For instance, I have a very close girlfriend that married the most wonderful man. He and I became very good friends and I wondered what sex with him would be like when I first met him, but after that and after all the years of getting to know and spending a lot of time with this man, those thoughts diminished and I thought of him more like my brother. As a matter of fact, the more I got to know him the more the thought of sex with him seemed,..well, absurd. He and my girlfriend have a solid marriage and yet, I love him, (and her) dearly.

I think about sex with everyone.... Am I bad :D

I mean the custodian at work is fair game.

I GOTTA FIND ME A MAN LOL

* males only :D

Party Pooper!
 

Awww...Swan...Just when I was starting to desire you.

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I'm with babes and Carazy on this -- platonic love is definitely possible. My closest friend is male (38 and single! anybody want him? :D ) and we had a romantic relationship, including sex, at one time, but have been strictly platonic for the last 13 years. The thought of having sex with him now is kinda repulsive, in an incestuous sort of way -- I don't have a brother, so I don't really have a frame of reference for this, but he is "like a brother" to me.

In all fairness, that's just my side of it. For the sake of being thorough, I will ask him how he feels, and post the answer later!

We had an on-going discussion about this very subject over several weeks at bowling. The conclusion was this: woman can be friends with a man and have no sexual desires and fantasies about him at all whereas men want to have sex with any woman if he spends enough time with her.

So ladies, you may think the friendship is platonic, but he probably doesn't!!

The Other Side
 

This is my friend's response. (A little more honest than I would have liked!):

** You're kind of asking the wrong guy this question. Yes I have had platonic love with the opposite sex. I have had sex with girls who were just friends and it stayed that way. I have also been friends with females that I have had no interest in sleeping with. The reason that a guy probably wants to sleep with every girl he becomes friends with is because he will only allow himself to be friends with girls that attract him. He doesn't want to be seen with an unattractive girl, so of course he will want to sleep with them all. One final note, you can't categorize people. Everybody is different. Some men will sleep with any female, some females will sleep with any man. **

I did edit out the final sentence, which was the answer -- that he would sleep with me (partly justified by the length of time he has been celibate).