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Thread: Time Apart

  1. #1
    mbsnbcr Guest

    Time Apart

    This was mentioned in a previous thread "not getting along". We are now getting along (knock wood) so I didn't want to continue that thread!!

    Anyway, what do you all think about time apart, especially those who live together? Personally, I have always thrived on alone time and think that it is so important. Before we got together, I used to try and bring it up to set some boundaries. It didn't work, I don't think! I know a couple who will not ever sleep apart or do things apart and I do not think it is healthy. Sure, they've been married for 6 years, but it's not right for me.

    I think it is healthy to have a relationship where each person can do his/her own thing now and then. It's hard when my only alone time is the hour drive home from work. I need time to meditate, read a book, or be with friends without him. Does that sound so strange?

    When I try to do something like what is mentioned above, he gets pretty tense and stand offish. He acts like I don't want to be with him, even if I just want to be alone for a little while. He never goes out and does his own thing without me forcing him to, and he makes me feel guilty if I go out without him.

    Does anyone else have this issue?

  2. #2
    EMCAD80 Guest
    I fortunatly do not have this issue. My OM encourages me to go out w/ people my own age so I don't get tired of his "old ways". I would rather be with him, but your right, you do need alone time. This is with any relationship...you need together time and alone time. It's not that you don't love him, you do love him and that's why you need the time apart every once in a while.

    It makes sense to me...but how do you get him to understand?

  3. #3
    wvdreamer's Avatar
    wvdreamer is offline US Navy Retired
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    Lightbulb Time apart can be either good or bad

    Time away can be good for any relationship that is in a rough patch. It can give both parties a chance to evaluate their positions and take stock in what can be done to improve the relationship. It can also show if both people are willing to make it work, or if it is time to end it.

    Initially, when the mother of my children (22 year AGR, OM/YW) and I separated I thought the former would happen and we could work on solving our issues. I was wrong. Nothing I said or did could convince her to return.

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