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Thread: Madly in love with my professor..

  1. #1
    mua Guest

    Unhappy Madly in love with my professor..

    Ohh God!! Finally I found a platform to share the turmoil I am going through since 3months.. Alright here it goes.. There is this Professor, 35 ishh and I am 23.. I saw during my first semester. To be frank I wasnt all that attracted towards him.. But even then there was something happening inside me wen I saw him for the first time.. His reaction was also somewhat abnormal.. He kept looking at me the whole day.. And then days passed by, we used to exchange looks.. Now I am in second semester and I am head over heels in love with him.. Even he kinda looks only at me during classes.. And luckily he is not married.. I dont know what to do.. I can make out that even he is restless when ever I am around.. His body language kinda changes when I am around him.. Well I am so helpless and I dont have a clue about what I am gonna do.. Its getting every difficult every day and he kinda acts weird when ever I am talking to other boys.. pl helpppp

  2. #2
    thatoneperson's Avatar
    thatoneperson is offline Senior Member
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    Welcome to Ageless! Now, as a person who is currently dating her former professor, I have some questions for you...

    1. Is he in your major/minor department?

    If he is, don't even consider starting a relationship with him until after you graduated. It would be a major conflict of interest and could possible destroy his and your reputation in the field.

    My OM was my professor in my major. In order to have an ethical relationship, I waited to ask him out until I had graduated and all my final records were in the books. We're still not very open about it with people from the institution, mostly due to prejudice about AGRs. This part of our relationship is awkward, but we do what we can.

    2. What is your school's policy about student-teacher relationships?

    Many prohibit any type of romantic relationship between a student and a professor, even if he doesn't have any sort of conflict of interest. Competition for jobs in academia is fierce. If he got fired/lost tenure for sexual harassment, which is what they'd consider your relationship to be, it would be very hard for him to get another job/regain tenure. If you really care about him, you won't jeopardize his career.

    3. Have you interacted with him outside of the classroom?

    Great teachers are great actors. They use what they've learned about pedagogy to create engaging and exciting lectures and activities for their students. They're passionate about their subject, and they try to share that passion with their students. Sometimes students confuse the passion and curiosity that's been ignited for the subject for feelings about their professor. Professors are often quite different outside of work, like a lot of people are.

    4. If it's kosher, are you prepared to deal with the consequences of dating him while you're still in school?

    That would mean that you can't take any more of his classes, can't request letters of recommendation, and can't be his advisee. And since people love to talk, you'd have to be prepared to deal with raised eyebrows from both your peers and your professors, many of whom are probably his friends. Are you prepared to deal with their judgement over your relationship? What happens if you two break up? Professors are people, after all.

    Bottom line: It would be much, much better to wait until you've graduated or have switched to another institution to pursue this relationship. I had to wait a semester and a half, but it has paid off in the long run. We've been together almost a year now <3

  3. #3
    mua Guest

    Unhappy

    Thank you so much thatoneperson.. you are life saver.. U did succeed to put some sense into my head.. Well he is Prof in my Major.. Well I know how people are gonna react and as far now I am really not ready to handle such attention.. well you know I keep on thinking and hoping that at least he will talk to me outside class room.. It never happened.. The whole thing is very confusing and disturbing as well.. As U can see I just cant keep my thoughts straight.. I am so lost in the whole I am in love with him thing..

  4. #4
    pinkunicorn's Avatar
    pinkunicorn is offline Senior Member
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    Welcome to the boards!

    I really don't have anything to add to what thatoneperson said.

    Chill until you graduate. Who knows, he might be doing the same thing.
    Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.


  5. #5
    thatoneperson's Avatar
    thatoneperson is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mua View Post
    Thank you so much thatoneperson.. you are life saver.. U did succeed to put some sense into my head.. Well he is Prof in my Major.. Well I know how people are gonna react and as far now I am really not ready to handle such attention.. well you know I keep on thinking and hoping that at least he will talk to me outside class room.. It never happened.. The whole thing is very confusing and disturbing as well.. As U can see I just cant keep my thoughts straight.. I am so lost in the whole I am in love with him thing..
    Well, think about it this way: having a crush on your professor makes it that much more fun to go to class. You'll also want to do a good job on your readings and assignments because you want to impress him, right? Use this crush as a way to benefit your education.

    When do you graduate?
    Mebel likes this.

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